Scott Walker and Christians Against Dinosaurs

I suppose it was necessary for someone to form a group of Christians Against Dinosaurs, but I have to admit that I was unprepared to read that dinosaurs “lack family values.”

You know, if you actually sit down and read the Book of Genesis, you will quickly realize that God supposedly created the creatures of the sea and the birds that fly over the Earth first. Then he created the creatures of the land.

Only after he was done with these tasks did he get around to creating “mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”

But, yeah, it doesn’t say anything specifically about dinosaurs. On the other hand, if birds are dinosaurs then this might not be as much of a problem for Biblical Literalism as some people suspect.

Unless, of course, you keep reading. Because God seems to have created all these creatures without, at first, providing them anything to eat.

Now no shrub had yet appeared on the earth and no plant had yet sprung up, for the Lord God had not sent rain on the earth and there was no one to work the ground, but streams came up from the earth and watered the whole surface of the ground. Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.

Now the Lord God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed.

Who can reconstruct a timeline from such gibberish?

All we can be certain about is that God put Adam and Eve in this garden of his, but Steve was most definitely not invited. And dinosaurs didn’t eat plants because there were no plants before Adam and Eve showed up, and Adam and Eve never saw no damn dinosaurs.

But, then you can solve this conundrum by positing that humans once lived with the dinosaurs. It makes perfect sense.

All of this would be no more honorable than picking on the special education kids on the short bus if it weren’t for things like this:

It ought to be the friendliest of soil for White House hopefuls looking to pad the resume with a little foreign policy experience: a trip to the United Kingdom.

So far this campaign season, however, the trips to England have been anything but merry for several prospective GOP candidates.

The latest to emerge scathed from a trip across the Atlantic Ocean is Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker, who capped an appearance at the prestigious Chatham House think tank on Wednesday by avoiding a question about whether he believes in the theory of evolution.

“I’m going to punt on that one, as well,” Walker said at the end of a Q&A during which he also declined to answer questions about foreign policy. “That’s a question a politician shouldn’t be involved in one way or the other. So I’m going to leave that up to you.”

Evidently, Scott Walker thinks that the Christians Against Dinosaurs are a constituency he can’t afford to alienate if he hopes to win the Republican presidential nomination.

Unfortunately, he might be right about that.

1 comment for “Scott Walker and Christians Against Dinosaurs

  1. February 14, 2015 at 2:24 pm

    The governor of Wisconsin was on a trade mission to the United Kingdom. So, naturally, a reporter asked him whether he believed that Moses had ridden atop a Tyrannosaurus Rex to receive the Ten Commandments.

    I mean, that’s the point of asking “do you believe in evolution?,” right? Because, surely, the questioner isn’t interested in Scott Walker’s feelings on the successive generational changes in biological populations. And surely, no one really cares what Scott Walker thinks about genetic drift.

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