GOP Gay Panic: Get. A. Grip.

I spent last week watching the completely predictable temper tantrum on the right about marriage equality (which is certainly a better term and more accurate term than “gay marriage”). Mike Huckabee went all Biblical, promising to “call down fire from Heaven”. Roy Moore, the shame of Alabama, had a complete meltdown. Over in Texas, the state’s attorney general is encouraging county clerks to ignore the law. And here in Philadelphia, the Daily News granted weekly columnist Christine Flowers a second column after her mash note to Ann Coulter (SOMEONE’S got a HUGE crush on Annie) to air a thoroughly unhinged screed that (again) illustrates her obsession with gay sex. Skimming the dissents from Scalia, Alito, Thomas, and Roberts is like drinking a big glass of warm, sour milk: the anger, especially from that hypocritical criminal goon Scalia, is palpable.

Taken together, it’s an enormous freakout on the right wing. And ya know, I just don’t get it. I really don’t Why the FUCK do you care what two consenting adults do in the bedroom? No one’s inviting you to join in. No one’s forcing you to look at gay porn. No one’s forcing you to marry someone of the same sex. In the case of Christine Flowers, no one’s interested in you PERIOD. What is your FUCKING problem, people? What is your major malfunction, that with all the real problems in the world -including a massacre in South Carolina, Greece’s looming exit from the Eurozone, ISL and other assorted religious dickheads blowing people up all over the middle east, California running dry (with huge implications for the cost of food), and everything else- you wake up everyday flipping out about two dudes or two women getting married.

And for that matter, who gives a rat’s ass about your opinion? Society has moved on, by a long shot. Nobody cares anymore. It’s a non-issue. And by being a bunch of butthurt, bitter babies all you are doing is making yourselves look like assholes. Which, to be honest, is what you are. Marriage equality is not about you. Stop with the desperate bid for attention.

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