Republican Running Mates

With eleventy billion Republicans ostensibly running for president, it’s a safe bet that most of them realize that they have little to no chance of winning the nomination. Some want to wage a culture war. Some want to promote actual war. Some want to sell books or land a radio or teevee show. Some basically have nothing better to do it at this point. Some may want to raise their profile for a more serious run in the next cycle.

But a handful of these folks are straight-up running for vice-president. The people I definitely put in this category are Carly Fiorina, John Kasich, and Bobby Jindal.

I think Marco Rubio is an interesting case because he (should be) prevented by the Constitution from running on the same ticket as Jeb Bush. I suppose that no one much cares about this provision and it didn’t prevent Bush and Cheney from running together even though they both lived in Texas. But Cheney had a home in Wyoming and had represented the state in Congress. I don’t think Rubio or Bush will quite so easy a time arguing that they aren’t Floridians.

Still, if they really want to get around this provision it shouldn’t be all that much more difficult than the sidestep John McCain did to avoid the fact that he was born in the Panama Canal Zone.

I think Rubio thinks he has a chance of winning the nomination, though, so we’ll have to see how he does.

This fight will get nasty and some folks may talk their way out of contention for the veep slot, but the three most logical tickets I can see are:

Bush/Walker
Walker/Rubio
Rubio/Fiorina

“Walker” is already a Bush family name, so there’s a familiarity there. The reason Bush would want Walker is to shore up the disappointed base and to pray for some help in the Midwest. Another option would be Kasich, and that would be more of a move to the middle that could give him a boost in must-win Ohio and help his brand a bit with moderates. Picking Fiorina would also make some sense, although the Palin precedent is still pretty fresh, and thinking you’ll pick off a bunch of women with your veep pick is a strategy that is 0 for 2 at this point.

Scott Walker won’t vanquish the Bush family only to put them back in the mix. That’s more of an Obama move. He’ll want to go for that Clinton/Gore young guns thing, and he’ll hope that Rubio wins him Florida and gets him somewhere with the damage Trump did to the Republican brand with Latinos. It’s a desperation move, but it makes the most sense.

Rubio could reciprocate, essentially, but picking Walker. I could see that. But I think he’ll want to rebrand the GOP as completely as possible, and that’s what Fiorina offers him.

I have no idea who Trump would pick. He’d have to hire people to find someone he hadn’t already called an idiot and a loser.

I think Chris Christie and Rick Perry have too many legal problems to be worth the hassle, and I’d also note that Walker and Rubio are lugging around skeleton closets on their backs.

Carson is too nutty. Huckabee and Santorum are too religiously nutty. Lindsey Graham is too ambiguously single.

Bobby Jindal is going to have a hard time making a case that he should be on the ticket, but he will at least merit some consideration.

Everyone hates Ted Cruz.

That leaves Rand Paul. He will be no one’s running mate. He must win outright to get on the ticket. If he somehow wins, I have no earthly idea who he’d pick, but it will probably be someone about as well known as Admiral Stockdale.

What do you think?

Author: BooMan

Martin Longman a contributing editor at the Washington Monthly. He is also the founder of Booman Tribune and Progress Pond. He has a degree in philosophy from Western Michigan University.