Update [2005-3-18 18:24:57 by BooMan]: Because it’s frivolous Friday, and because I am in a silly mood, I’m promoting this hilarious diary to the front page…the BooMan
Laughing is often the only way for me to dig myself out of my doldrums, which I’m feeling rather a lot today because of ANWR, the attacks on Rachel Corrie in my diary at Kos, and the very serious illness of a close relative.
Without further ado!
FINALLY! Farting fish have been fingered!
… Dr Batty, who works at the Dunstaffnage marine centre near Oban, and his colleagues were looking at whether herrings could detect sounds made by predators like whales and dolphins. Using infrared lighting with video cameras and underwater microphones, they monitored the herrings behaviour round the clock. “We heard these rasping noises, which sound like high pitched raspberries, only ever at night, whenever we saw tiny gas bubbles coming from the herrings’ bottoms,” said Dr Batty.
We also noticed that individual fish release more bubbles the more fish are in the tank with them. In other words, it seems that herring like to fart in company,” commented Dr Wilson. …
Just like some men I’ve known.
::: read on :::
Sexy yawns: “Donald MacLeod reports on the research that suggests sex is the reason for yawning.”
Depends on the man, I’ve found.
Necrophilia among ducks ruffles research feathers: “The strange case of the homosexual necrophiliac duck pushed out the boundaries of knowledge in a rather improbable way when it was recorded by Dutch researcher Kees Moeliker. … [A scientist observed] a male mallard attack a dead duck. The male “picked into the back, the base of the bill and mostly into the back of the head of the dead mallard for about two minutes, then mounted the corpse and started to copulate, with great force, almost continuously picking the side of the head.”
Randy rock doves join party with the dead: “It seems that ducks are not the only birds which are known to practise necrophilia. Donald MacLeod reports on an earlier finding that proves pigeons have copulated with corpses too.”
Lastly, there are Einstein’s relatives’ theories:
– ME Einstein has published “Utilisation of a Sperm Quality Analyser to Evaluate Sperm Quantity and Quality of Turkey Breeders” and “Evaluation of Alternative Measures of Pork Carcass Composition”
If you get sick of this place, give improbable.typepad.com/ or the Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists a try.
JOKES PLEASE! THE WORSE, THE BETTER!
The strange case of the homosexual necrophiliac duck
Time out. I’ll see you all later. I have a shory story to write.
More fodder for your Stephen King-ish writing:
MICHIGANTOWN, Ind. – Could it be… Satan? A central Indiana pet shop owner says a turtle that was the only animal to survive an October fire has developed an image of Satan’s face on its shell.
Bryan Dora says it looks like the devil wants us to know that he was there.
Dora says he can see a goatee and a pair of pointy horns on the shell of the palm-sized red-eared slider turtle named Lucky.
He says Lucky is healthy and its behavior hasn’t changed.
Investigators could not determine the cause of the fire, which destroyed the A-Dora-ble Pet Shop and several other businesses in Frankfort, about 40 miles northwest of Indianapolis.
Wasn’t there a grilled cheese sandwhich on Ebay that has the supposed imprint of the virgin mary on it?…So maybe if the turtle ate the grilled cheese that would chase satan out and all would be right with the world once again.
Burning Cow Dung Starts Colorado Wildfire
Fri Mar 18, 6:25 PM ET
LONGMONT, Colo. – Authorities are investigating whether Forest Service workers can be charged with arson for a 900-acre wildfire that was ignited after gusty winds carried flaming cow dung outside a controlled burn site. …
do fish farts stink? to other fish at least? i see that herrings like to fart in numbers, so maybe it doesn’t stink to them, but what about other fishes? does a herring fart smell awful to a cod? only SCIENCE can give us the answers.
oh, and i’ll never hear the phrase “dead duck” in quite the same way again….
This looks like a job for Geraldo Rivera…
Oh what a world, what a world. Tears rolling down face, can’t catch my breath. You people have got to stop this shit. I am starting to feel bipolar. One minute I am crying for all the wrongs in this f’d up country of ours the next I am rolling on the floor laughing about fish farts.
You have to understand, I come from a family that actually rates your farts. My mother9god rest her soul) and brother in law used to actually have contests. Oh my God, this was hysterical. Thanks a bunch for the gut laugh!!
Your family may rate your farts, but they sure as hell ain’t gonna be rating mine!
I’ve written articles about many of those topics – the rapacious duck, the flatulent herrings. My colleague wrote about the Hair Club for Scientists…
I’d give you my latest – but I gotta say, I’m saving them for publication (I know, I suck. But I try to draw a line between my blog life and my journalism life).
so here’s a favorite, just for the title alone:
Three Major Beetle Groups Come Up One Testicle Short. Best headline ever. heh.
Will you share your article when it’s published?
P.S. A headline I liked yesterday in UK press: “The McCartneys Say They’re Not Stupid.” I thought, well, OKAY, Paul and what’shername. Then I clicked the story and found out it was about the sisters of the slain Irishman.
P.P.S. I couldn’t sleep last night so channel surfed. Sundance was airing a documentary about men who want to become eunechs, and the D.O. in Philadelphia who obliges them. I could only take a few minutes of it…. but there was one guy who showed the implements he uses to help people himself w/o a doctor; he’s already done it to himself. I watched CSPAN until I could sleep.
ack! castration is never a topic to while away the hours, that’s fer sure!!! I remember reading articles about that at…damn, I can’t remember the name of the website – a really well-regarded body mod site (this being back in the days when I was mad about body mods)…anyway, I remember articles from guys who wished to remove the goods. Really, really intense.
Made my yen for genital piercing puny indeed.
BME: Body Modification Ezine. Some very interesting stuff up there – but not for the faint of heart.
You know, I completely forgot that Chicago Hope is on at 1AM! Damn it. That’s what I’ll do tonight.
And, of course, two Canadians would be involved in investigating farting fish. š
Here’s one of my favorite scientific Easter-time giggles…
Peep research
That’s really funny, especially when one clicks on the links on that page.
http://www.villagevoice.com/news/0510,fiore,62018,9.html
http://www.villagevoice.com/news/0511,tomtomorrow,62044,9.html
but this diary gets my vote for the best yet.
It’s just comical.
I mentioned ANWR at the very top! It is political!
That should be a weekly diary-Frivolous Friday. A roundup of fun news to counteract the news all week that only seems to get worse and worse. And how can anyone say anything clever to top farting fish as researched by a guy named Dr. Batty…
By the numbers:
1. Farting Fish: that’s what that fishy smell is
2. Sexy Yawns: I did’nt realize my ex-wife was so sexy
3. Ducks: LOL..puts a whole new meaning to “let’s stop in and have a cold one”
4. Turkey Sperm: Now I know where Bush’s gene pool came from
This is just so wrong on so many levels.
Speaking of which, they put an ad in the paper not too long ago looking for people to test a new drug to treat obsessive-compulsive disorder. I understand they’re very happy with the response to the ad.
They got 24,195 responses.
All from the same guy.