I have been reading diaries and comments here for a couple of days, and today I got myself a username. Some of the things I have read have made me realize why I am here at Booman. I have been reading dKos for about a year now, and have been contributing my comments and a few diaries here and there (under a different user name).
What I realized today is that everything I have written over there has been full of vitriol. Since the election I cannot say that I have felt normal, and today I realized that it was because I could not let go of the anger. But today I am ready. Today I read some things here that just made me smile. So I wanted to share some sort of story that made me happy. Here it goes.
My junior year in college (2001), after getting back from a semester abroad in NZ, I took all these anthro classes because I had decided to give up the worship of capitalism and switch my major from business to anthropology. There was this one girl in 3 of my
five classes. This one girl.
Jocelyn. She rarely spoke, but when she did, she had the softest, most pleasing voice I have ever heard. Her outward appearance is what I refered to then as “[insert northeast liberal arts school] hippie,” meaning the patchwork bags and jeans, bandana, loose fitting, flowy shirt, etc etc.
But she was beautiful in the most raw sense of the word. So when I got bored in class, I would just sit there and stare at her like a wierdo. And this one time she caught me and gave me the biggest smile ever with her big bright white teeth. I was instantly obsessed (not an emotion I support or enjoy experiencing, usually).
But we never, ever spoke. Year ended. I lived in my college town that summer, so while most people went home shortly thereafter, me and a few friends stayed a little longer, as did quite a few seniors. Jocelyn was a senior. So a week or two after finals are over, I’m in a bar downtown and in strolls Jocelyn and her friend who I sort’ve knew.
Eye contact made all around, as they are passing I say hi to Emily, the friend that I sort’ve know, and then to Jocelyn. She stopped right in front of me, looked right at me with her big shiny brown eyes and said “hello beautiful” and kissed me. I honestly had no idea what the fuck had just happened. Nothing like that had ever even come close to going down.
They get drinks, and she comes back over and we start talking about the ins and outs of biological anthropology, actually quite interesting stuff. We continue drinking, while nobody will mention what Jocelyn had said or done when they walked in. I had the most unbelieveble tingle in my entire body.
Emily decided she was going home, but Jocelyn says she is staying (forgive my confusing of tenses, I am half here and half there right now). 10 minutes later, she asks if I will walk across town (an hour walk) to this botanical garden and retreat for artists that has amazing rose gardens and whatnot. Obviously, I say yes.
So we get there, its like 3am, and she lies down in the grass of this huge field, pulls me on top of her, and we kissed for the next hour, maybe two, before passing out on top of each other.
Woke up as the sun rose, more kissing ensued, nothing else, then we got up and walked home, holding hands. We got to her place and she was like, I’m going back home tomorrow, but I just wanted to say that that was awesome, and I’m glad it finally happened, I’ve been waiting all semester for you to come and talk to me, but you didn’t.
I said goodbye, and I never saw her again.