The good in all the Terri Schiavo hoopla is bringing the topic of Death to the forefront. We all know it’s going to happen, but no one likes to talk about it. If anyone has had a brush with death it is easier. If one has received a death sentence, it is easier.
If after all this Terri Schiavo debate you still don’t have a living will or your dying wish on paper, that will be the real horror of all this.
We are being presented with one of life’s lessons-Prepare For Your Death so your family doesn’t suffer more than they have to.
I was given a 5 to 7 years diagnosis back in 1991. So I began to prepare. I took stock of my life. Thought about all the stuff I wanted to do but had not yet accomplished. Thought about my daughter and how she would deal with it. Thought about how it would affect my parents should they out live me. I thought about death period. I read several books: How We Die, Final Gifts, Life After Death etc., etc.
I went through Hospice Training and did some volunteering. My daughter went through the program with me. This was a very uplifting experience, for both of us. Hospice is an excellent organization that seems to attract the best of us.
I took my daughter and parents to a Living Will seminar and we all signed one. I encouraged my parents to make their wishes known, get their cemetary plots etc., something they hadn’t done before they retired.
We talked about creamation options. I’ve already paid for that service ahead of time.
This was not that negative of a situation. We had many laughs at deaths expense. My daughter asked what she should do if she ever dropped the urn with my ashes. I told her to vaccuum…But I’d rather she spread my ashes on Cape Hatteras. My daughter also gave me a hot air balloon ride for my 50th birthday which was the one thing I hadn’t done that I wanted to do. It was glorious!
Death should be a celebration, like birth. It’s just part of our human experience and we all have to go through it. Death should not be feared. The big question is Why do we fear death?
So regardless of our fear, just prepare for it. No one should ever have to go through this public fiasco that Terri’s family is going through.
Great point.
I’ve always been reticent to write a “living will” though, because I felt like doctors would hear “oh, he’s got a living will” and assume without looking at it that means I want to have the plug pulled at the earliest opportunity. Because I do think my “living will” would perhaps be the first ever to say “keep the plug in no matter what!”
Alan
Maverick Leftist
This is something my husband and I have been talking about in depth over the last week or so. We want to be ready when our times come, and minimize the stress on our child as much as possible. Our wishes will be in writing, so that any decisions that have to be made can be done so easily and quickly.
There’s always something to be learned even from the worse of society. And no one likes to talk about death. But we owe our children an easy way to deal with our deaths. I’ve heard so many horror stories from grown up children who were the executors of the parent’s will or lack of will and the hell they went through while trying to grieve.
Just did this here http://www.agingwithdignity.org/order.html
It only costs five bucks too and a minute or two to order it. Mom didn’t have a living will and we had to watch her on a ventilator for eight dyas. They would not allow us to remove the ventilator but we were able to withhold all other medicines and feeding tube. It was hell!
And thanks Rosie..how is your prognosis now?
Hi Alohaleezy,
I’m holding my own. For me it seems to be a mind-set- I don’t wallow in the disease which is scleroderma. I have lots of GI problems but I’ve had them for so long it seems normal to me. So I pretty much live a day at a time, enjoy the time and have been very fortunate. When I was diagnosed back in 1991 less was known about scleroderma then, it’s not curable but is manageable. This disease also wanes and ebbs, what we call flares which are brought on by stress, weather changes and lord knows what else. But as I said I did a lot of soul searching and changed my mental attitude and it’s working for me.
There was a terrific movie years ago by Bob Saget with Dana Delaney called “For Hope”- Bob Saget’s sister died from scleroderma but she had the worse case scenario which is horrific.
It really helps to have an interest outside oneself, like politics.
I appreciate your asking-thanks.
Great diary and I’m glad you’re stil with us.
I’m so glad to hear that you’re doing okay and taking good care of yourself. Hang in there, hon. It’s a day at a time.
You take good care of yourself girl. We need you here and I for one so admire you. You are a treasure!