I present an explanation of the Chewbacca Defense.
by Anonymous Coward on Monday August 18, @06:22PM from Slashdot.com.
South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone are huge Star Wars fans. There have been several Chewbacca references on the show.
In the “Chef Aid” episode, Chef is accused of trying to steal the song “Stinky Britches,” which he really wrote many years ago. The record company takes Chef to court, and they hire Johnny Cochran to prosecute Chef. The whole town is wondering if he will use his famous “Chewbacca Defense,” which he used during the O.J. Simpson trial. Here’s a transcript:
Ladies and gentlemen of the supposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider: (pulling down a diagram of Chewie) this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk, but Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now, think about that. That does not make sense! (jury looks shocked)
Why would a Wookiee — an eight foot tall Wookiee — want to live on Endor with a bunch of two foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense!
Listen to the Chewbacca Defense
This is offered in the spirit of fun, not disrespect for an accomplished American attorney.
:::Read More:::
Look at me, I’m a lawyer defending a major record company, and I’m talkin’ about Chewbacca. Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense. None of this makes sense.
And so you have to remember, when you’re in that jury room deliberating and conjugating the Emancipation Proclamation… does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense.
If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests.
Later in that same episode, Cochran has a change of heart and defends Chef when Chef sues the record company. Again, he uses the Chewbacca Defense, although with some minor changes:
Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, you must now decide whether to reverse the decision for my client Chef. I know he seems guilty, but ladies and gentlemen… (pulling down a diagram of Chewbacca) This is Chewbacca. Now think about that for one moment — that does not make sense. Why am I talking about Chewbacca when a man’s life is on the line? Why? I’ll tell you why: I don’t know.
It does not make sense. If Chewbacca does not make sense, you must acquit!(pulling a monkey out of his pocket) Here, look at the monkey. Look at the silly monkey! (one of the juror’s heads explodes)
Eventually, Chef wins the case and all is well.
if Nicole and Ron are going to be standing at the pearly gates with St Peter to have a long talk with him…
Out of respect for what he was able to accomplish in his career, I suspect he will be able to argue his way in… “Without a writ, you must admit!”
If getting O.J. off a double murder charge is J.C.’s greatest accomplishment, it’s nothing to be proud of.
I understand he has been very generous to the black community. In so doing he may have atoned for this
“great accomplishment” and restored his honour.
Besides Deadwood, one of my other TV obsessions is “South Park.” What’s wrong with me.
South Park is awful…it’s a horribly condescending, sanctimonious republican/libertarian show. Just because they like making fun of religious nuts doesn’t make them any better.
That’s what I kind of like about it. The Rainforest episode, for example, makes fun of everybody from schoolteachers to environmentalists to guerillas to corrupt Central American governments to big businesses. It has it all! They spare no one. And, as satire, it’s cool with me.
See, that’s the point. Their overriding message is that you’re an idiot to believe in anything. It’s cool and hip to be completely detached and ironic about everything. Emotions and passions are for morons and weaklings.
Perhaps this is enlightening when you’re an iconoclastic 16-year-old. But at a certain point in life, that bizarre contempt for association of any kind is more than a little weird.
In other words, you don’t like it.
I think it is universally absurd, outrageous, caustic and very funny while at the same time attacking the ridiculous in our society. I also like the graphics.
was the first American program to warn about the potential menace of Canadians.
That honor (sic) alone qualifies it for stardom and fame and many awards.
I used to be a huge fan, like just about everyone my age. I used to scramble home on Wednesday nights to catch the latest episodes. But then I realized it was becoming less funny and more strident–Stone and Parker are just as obnoxiously preachy with their ironic hipness as those hated Hollywood Actors are with their politics.
As I said to Susan above, the lesson of South Park is that you’re an idiot to believe in anything. You’re only cool when you stay detached from everything. It reminds me of the cliquey losers in high school who wore all black and hung out behind the buildings smoking and making fun of everyone more successful than them. Yeah…good for you, guys. You’re so cool.
Come to think of it, you are right. They are getting very very cynical. We have to believe in something.
I believe in goodness.
I’m probably one of the few people on this website who have never seen a SP episode.
I have however heard of certain SP elements, such as the Chewbacca Defense and Kyle’s Mom is a B etc.
When I think of lawyers and satire, I prefer to think about SNL P. Hartman’s old “Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer” bits. Now THAT makes me laugh 🙂
Pax
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Cochran and the OJ case is a case that I know a little something about. As a resident of Southern California, we were treated to our incessant doses of the trial daily and the subject same up in nearly every discussion.
At one point I even wrote a out a defense as I would have presented it at the trial. Not because I am a lawyer or any such thing, but because I was so interested in the case.
Not everyone thought OJ was guilty and I was among them. It got so bad that one could not even state they thought he was not guilty for fear of the attack that would follow. I have my reasons for my conclusion, and as I said I thoroughly analyzed and studied this case for over two years.
Cochran defended his client in one of the most spectacular defenses I have seen or read about, and ranks right up there with the greatest of them.
It was a long and difficult trial, but he handled it well.
I sure hope this thread does not turn into a Cochran bashing. Another diary on DK was troll rated to death for being irreverant about him on the day of his death.
I was shocked to hear of his passing yesterday evening. I was on maternity leave during the OJ Simpson trial and got to watch a lot more of it than I ever planned, and I was enthralled with Cochran’s style. He also impressed me when he came to Houston, on his own dime, to counsel folks who had lost everything due to being screwed by WorldCom and Enron. He stayed here for over a week, talking with anyone who wanted or needed advice. For free. And this is a lawyer we’re talking about.
Godspeed, Mr. Cochran.