Though I’ve never thought that hitting someone in the face with a pie is particularly effective, I must take note of pie victim David Horowitz‘s statement that
Never before had I heard of a fascist pie-thrower. Naive, I just didn’t think they had the sense of humor. Now that I am alerted, though, I will be on my toes.
This warning certainly should be taken seriously. For Horowitz, of course, is president of The Center for the Study of Popular Culture, an organization
Horowitz probably (and rightly) feels that the recent spate of pie-ings of wingnuts has revealed more of these internal opponents. Somewhere in the depths of Langley (or, maybe, in that bunker FBI building–or over at the NSA), I’m sure, there’s now a growing file. Soon, watch-lists will be released to public-safety organizations. Possible pie-ers will begin to be kept out of auditoriums and town meetings–and from airplanes. Fear of shoe piers, especially, will sweep the nation, when vigilant passengers on Amtrak’s Metroliner to DC spot meringue oozing from a desert boot thrust nonchalantly into the aisle.
After all, “it’s only one step from that to injury.”
Soon, the Patriot Act will have to be amended. The FBI will be directed to access bakery records, and the sale of flour, lemon, sugar, and eggs in supermarkets will be monitored. The president will say that the country must do anything necessary to keep these pie-ers from taking that next step, from growing into fomenters of injury. A “war on pie-ers” will be declared, with the purpose of keeping the wayward from following the inevitable path from laughter to terror. (Both words end in “r”–do you really believe that’s just a coincidence?)
Judges too lenient with pie-ers will be hounded from the bench. New laws will be passed (“David’s laws”), insuring the right to live pie-free. In Florida, new legislation will make it legal to respond to a potential pie-er with the shot from a gun.
Studies will be undertaken, attempting to make a connection between pie-ing and terrorism and fascism of all types. Perhaps Mussolini tossed pizzas sometime in his early career. Stalin probably ate bites off of pies, then passed them on for nefarious purposes. Even today, children are likely being enticed with pies into proto-terrorist pie-ist networks.
So, keep alert. The pie you ignore may become egg on your face.
This is another potential use for the regional threads.
Dan Quayle is coming to speak at Iowa State University? Someone in the Midwest thread can coordinate the baking, transport and infiltration of the pie…
It’s a waste of good pie.
Billmon writes:
Of course, these are same people who studiously ignored the death threats against Michael Schiavo and his lawyer, and who leaped to defend Sen. Cornyn when he came this close to rationalizing the use of violence against runaway judges, and who don’t appear to have any problem with dragging people out of presidential audiences because they show up with unflattering bumper stickers on their cars.
Thus disproving Emerson’s old saw about consistency being the hobgoblin of little minds….
….Authoritarian movements thrive on phony martyrs, and now this one has its pastry martyrs. Have no doubt that the “crazed” leftist students who smeared them (literally) will be cited every time some hayseed legislator proposes to create a doctoral program in creation science….
Now, the guy who tried to throw his shoe (twice!) at Richard “the dark prince” Perle in his debate with Howard Dean was a classic. The shoe guy, at least, also used words – not the kind which would go unpunished if I repeated them at my parent’s dinner table when I was a teenager.
We must learn to think strategically. No, I don’t mean throw the pie and miss, but instead, organize people to bring pie and eat it in front of the right wingnuts as the spew their garbage. They’ll get the message and we won’t waste good pie.
As tactics go, it’s really not the best. The pie-ee may turn it to his advantage without too much effort.
Pack the auditorium and then, as Horowitz or whoever begins to speak, have everyone open a newspaper and start reading. Or start a round of applause at a wholly inopportune moment, mid-sentence perhaps. Addressing an audience the majority of which is listening to Ipods or playing games on PDA’s can be tough. I think folks can be a bit more inventive than pie-throwing.
Yours are much better ideas… and much harder for the “victim” to turn to advantage.
of course the pie in the face is hilarious when it isnt you. maybe if you went to give a speech on campus (like anyone would show up) and got pied in the face you’d think it was fantastically hilarious, especially if you knew you were pied because people were trying to disrupt your speech and embarass you, not play a practical joke.
seeing what I have at various sports game, soft thrown things turn to hard thrown things, and knowing that some campuses have become violent over lecturers, Its absurdly naive to think that people WHO WEAR MASKS to throw pies wouldnt do something violent. Yes, its very important to hide your identity if you have no claim to hurting someone.
Hi Sean, welcome to BooTrib.
You must have missed this (though it is in my first line):
“I’ve never thought that hitting someone in the face with a pie is particularly effective”
And, sure, things can get out of hand, but pies are rather innocent–and most people who get pie-ed turn it to their own advantage. Look at Coulter, Horowitz and the rest: they use the pie-ing for self-promotion–Horowitz has even turned it into a fund-raising tool.
I love it when my students make fun of me. It proves they are paying attention–and I learn a great deal about my weaknesses. I would love it if one pie-ed me–it would show I have an impact. Horowitz and Coulter and the rest love it just as much–if you believe ofterwise, well, I have a bridge I might be willing to sell you.
And it’s “absurdly naive” (to use your term) to believe that pie-ing will turn to other violence. A terrorist doesn’t start with pies. Never happened, never will. You will not find one instance, in the long history of pie-ing, where the pie-er moved from there to real violence.