Bush speaking in rose garden this morning with offending press corps member in the foreground.

Washington (APE) by Shithead Wallace – Hours ago, the secret service brought an undignified closing to the press conference from the President this morning, by tackling to the ground a reporter who remains unidentified and in custody at this time. They have refused to identify him pending further investigation. The reporter, caught incidentally in the photograph above, was described as presenting a clear and present danger to the President and those in the press conference. After the incident, an unidentified Secret Service agent who participated in the take down stated simply, “He could have put somebody’s eye out.”

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The press today was noted to have asked increasingly pointed questions of the President, and he appeared visibly shaken after the incident. Witnesses say that the unidentified reporter was noted to be impatient throughout the press conference and trying desperately to grab the President’s attention to pose a question. Witnesses also state that they heard the man rehearsing his question under his breath throughout the hour long conference, and distinctly heard the phrase “Downing Street” spoken.

White House spokesman Scott McClellan commented, “I think that what you see here is clear evidence that we have been correct all along in our level of protection of the President with the insistence of loyalty oaths and such as a screening tool for his public appearances. When more is known, we will comment further. The truth of the matter is that the investigation is in its early stages, and the medications have just not had enough time to take effect.”

Today’s press conference was the latest in a series of monthly press meetings that the administration agreed to since the first of the year. As today was the last day of May, the President was attempting to squeeze one out.