First of all, thanks for the warm welcome back. I appreciate all of your comments in my previous diary. Just a quick update on my health: I had to visit my doctor today because I’m still experiencing severe pain in my left kidney. For those unaware of my situation: I have lupus that affects my kidneys and it’s been very manageable to this point, but, due to my lack of attention to this latest bout of pain that’s lasted 2+ weeks now, I can only hope I haven’t caused permanent damage to my kidney. Regardless of having a clear CT scan Tuesday morning after a nite in the hospital dealing with a stone or stones, apparently, the scan isn’t able to pick up all forms of calcification, so I may well have more stones and, judging from the pain level, I’m pretty sure that I do. However, I’ll sit for these few minutes and type this because I think it may help to heal the rift that Booman referred to in one of his posts.
on with the show…
So, how do you heal? Well, I’m learning a hard lesson about that topic, as you can see. And, here are some pointers from my very recent, personal experience:
- Define your priorities. What are the most important things in your life? In the context of political participation, including blog life, think about what stirs your passions. What spurred on your interest in all things political? What principles do you stand for? What are you willing to give up? What shouldn’t you sacrifice?
- Focus. In order to heal, you need to know what has to be attended to. Which fights are worth fighting? Which discussions are really relevant to your goals? How can you deal with as much as possible without losing your way?
- Energy. You only have so much. Where is it best directed? What is the best use of your time? How can you create even more energy for yourself and those around you?
- Rest. As your mom said, you’re no good to anyone else if you don’t take care of yourself. If your mom didn’t say that to you, I’m a mom (and a grandma) and I’m saying it to you now. The world will not collapse and the Republicans won’t suddenly fall from the face of the earth (unfortunately) if you take a few days off.
- Reduce, Reuse, Recycle. Okay. I just got off the phone with my daughter who has a recycling business, so I thought I’d throw that in. It kind of fits anyway.
My point is this: one must decide when it’s time to move on, move sideways, move forward or just move, period. That doesn’t imply getting over it. It simply means that reevaluation is invaluable and it’s something that should be done often. A stagnant life is not worth living and, in my case, it can be damn physically painful sometimes!
This will be a bit of a post and run – well, more of a post and lie down, since I really, really cannot sit much longer. So, have at it. Be selfish. Focus on you and why you’re here. Leave the rest of the crazy world out there for a minute and ask yourself what really matters and go on from there.
See you again soon.
I really need to teach my cats to cook.
I hope like hell you start to feel better soon – really sorry you’re suffering like this. If I were nearby I’d surely come round and bring you some restoring miso soup or whatever healing magic might delight you.
Cheers,
Bee
No? Okay, soup will have to do then. Thanks. 🙂
Careful with the sexism… I don’t look nearly as studly as Brad Pitt so I might be offended!
</sarcasm>
Glad to hear you’re doing better. I’m also glad see some discussions over here about mending some rifts.
I’d love to see us talk about the ad and how Madison Avenue affects our culture; maybe I’ll diary on that but I frankly don’t know a lot about it.
I’ll plea again for some of my favorites on my subscribe to crosspost at other sites 😉
If we don’t get our stuff together for 06 it’s going to be ugly. I say this as a quasi-green-libertarian-independent-registered non-partisan. I just happen to have some liberal values.
Hey, I take some miso soup myself and byw it is the best soup in the world for renewing your spirit, soul and body.
Catnip, you should try some if you can get it where you are.
I haven’t gotten to say hi yet, but we have talked before especially about my Iraqi friend. BTW I have done several diaries about her and she now has a blog, but I haven’t heard from her in weeks.
I hope you are feeling better and you should have been here for our pain diary. So many of us have pretty pain filled days, so you are not alone. Not sure any of us wanted to be in that club, but here we are.
We must all learn to take more time off the sites as they can be draining in many ways. One of the reasons we have so many happy diaries here, to take the edge off.
Get well and be well, hugs to you.
Hi dianne! So glad to hear your friend now has her own blog. That’s great news! I hope all is well with her – as well as it can be in the midst of what must be hell. I will definitely check out your diaries for updates about her. Thanks.
Those of us who know pain know the value of peace. That’s a certainty and applies in so many ways in this world.
I’ll also check out the soup – just not tonite – ok? 🙂 hugs
I agree and can personally attest to the healing powers of Miso Soup. Plus – it’s ummy.
http://www.fabulousfoods.com/recipes/soups/veg/miso.html
The best of health possible, very soon.
Catnip, I will miss you at kos’ site, I hate to see people leave.
I want to offer some probably ridiculous info for you dealing with lupus. (In advance, please please forgive me if this is offbase or irrelevant because you’re dealing with serious stuff now.) Here goes.
I’ve gone thru a couple of periods where I faced lasting illness involving inflammation, with myself and with my son. I learned a couple of things. [If these are ridiculously obvious, please forgive me.] 1 – I learned to cut way way way back on anything with sugar, the most pro-inflammatory thing in the world. I didn’t have to cut it to zero, just closer to zero. I also lowered carbo stuff in half. I started eating sauce with pasta, instead of pasta with sauce like everyone else was eating.
2 – In Medline research I came across a couple of studies that said that decaf coffee or tea drinking was associated statistically with RA. Why would this be? Well, because of the solvents used to decaffeinate it. Of course some decaf is processed instead ‘naturally,’ with a water-based instead of solvent-based process. No problem with that. [ This mattered to me, because my 7-year old (years ago) used to guzzle Snapple decaf iced tea, several bottles a day on some days, and following pneumonia and a 1-week recovery he couldn’t walk at all, his muscles wouldn’t work, for about 5 weeks. Doctors didn’t understand, until a rheumatologist diagnosed a post-flu inflammatory syndrome. His other doctors just shook their head about the mystery until this doc figured it out.]
Perhaps none of these perspectives apply to you and this is gratuitous and insensitive advice. I’m not trying to be flip, because you are struggling with serious medical stuff now and probably have been for a long, long time. It’s just that I get frustrated with the medical community’s shortcomings in tackling medical health and illness. So I look for alternative contributory impacts. Lots of luck with your situation, and dealing with the docs too! Anyway, chuck the decaf, if that’s relevant.
Scold me, please do, if I have been wacky in this post, so I learn not to post in this way to others. Most of all, keep your determination, catnip!
No way! Thank you for sharing your experience and knowledge. I rarely drink decaf tea and don’t drink coffee, but the sugar addiction is defintely there. I’ll talk to my doctor about that.
Goal: a fair and equal place for all – especially my grandchildren.
Focus: local politics, because all politics even on the web is local and a community.
Rest: this has been emotionally draining and I’ll be leaving town late tomorrow for 3 days without internet access.
Hold down the fort everyone…rest…read a novel…go for a walk. We’ll be back ready and rested for whatever comes next.
Blessed Be
Maybe the Republicans will fall off the face of the earth or something… 🙂
“So over the weekend, certain segments of the community have erupted in
anger over the TBS ad for their reality show, the Real Southern Plantation.
Apparently, having two Negroes throw watermelon at each other, cakewalk
in a shiftless, lazy manner, then having cotton bolls stuck on their ample, fake
lips is degrading to Negroes. Or something like that.
Whatever. Feel free to be offended. I find such humorless, knee-jerk reactions,
to be tedious at best, sanctimonious and arrogant at worst. I don’t care for
such sanctimony from John Conyers. I don’t care for it from anyone else.”
Some people find such content offensive. Some people find it arousing. Some
people find it funny. To each his or her own.
But I am not Conyers. I won’t sit there and judge pop culture and act as
gatekeeper to what I think is “appropriate”, and what isn’t.
And I certainly won’t let the sanctimonious black studies set play that
role on this site. Feel free to be offended. Feel free to claim that I’m somehow
abandoning “progressive principles” by running the ad. It’s a free country.
Feel free to storm off in a huff. Other deserving bloggers could use the patronage.
Offensive ? Damn right it is. So was the original, because sexism is every bit as toxic as racism.
OK, OK……I was still mad….
Gonna move forward and work for what really matters, because I know you’re right, Catnip.
I certainly don’t want to deny anyone their feelings. I just think it helps to stop sometimes and ask ourselves what we can do with them that’s constructive so they don’t destroy us.
What really matters to anyone, really does matter. That’s as it ought to be.
Markos actually did a good job of triangulation in that post. If I was to object on the grounds of sexism, everyone who has followed my C&J rating patterns knows that a) in my gut, I am thinking that a man should participate in this kind of thing at home with his wife and b) I am a respectable married lady; I can’t approve of this. That goes over to the Lieberman-Boteach side of things.
That was brilliant – thank you!!!
the cartoon classic Coal Black and de Sebben Dwarfs — that page eloquently makes all the same arguments, about stereotypes, censorship, shifting cultural mores, you name it. (The difference being, I doubt the ‘Pie Fight’ is considered a masterwork today, and it likely won’t be a classic in 60+ years…)
Also, think about how what was a cutting-edge, progressive, hip cartoon 60+ years ago is a racist and extremely offensive one today. Perhaps a few scholars in 2067 will be chuckling over ancient, banned TV shows like “Baywatch”, or “Queer Eye For The Straight Guy”, or “The Real Gilligan’s Island”…
You are so right.
My daughter used to stage manage musicals for our local theatre group and community college. “Mame” and “South Pacific” made her cringe with embarassment. They were impossible to “clean up” because so much of the humour was rooted in stereotypes.
have your list down pat.
Priorities: wet food, dry food, wet food dry food, mice, rabbits, chipmunks, pet me.
Focus: Me, me, me.
Energy: You do it. I’m sleeping.
Rest: My natural talent.
Reduce, reuse,recycle: Reduce? Don’t make me laugh.
Mine too.
Although right now they are stalking pigeons. The pigeons’ll be fine – my cats live on the top floor of a brownstone. But the window screens have little kitty nose prints on them.
love bird watching. They choose between watching the bird feeders through the window or through little peep-holes in the fence. We have netting over the top of the fence so the kitties can’t get out, but can see out.
We feed the birds in the front yard.
Kitties love it and no one gets hurt.
Just testing to see if my e-mail addy shows up.
This is just a test. If this were an actual emergency, a big, red, ugly-assed face of Alberto Gonzales would blink on your screen and you would probably drop dead of a heart attack so you’d miss the actual disaster anyway.
Life Is A Test.
It Is Only A Test.
If this were your Actual Life, you would have been given better instructions.
That is the addy I tried to email you at after your last dkos diary, and it didn’t work. Is is now in order?
I added NOSPAM into my addy over at dKos so the spam bots wouldn’t pick it up. That has to be removed before sending me an e-mail.
where I screwed up…instead of llamg88 I read it as llama88. Those poor 88 llamas never knew what hit ’em…
one of the funniest things I’ve read all day. Woo!
Part of me wants to stand my ground over their in the most viscious way possible. And that’s what worries me. I’m not like that. But it does urk me to let all those comments go unchallenged! I think I’ll do a little of everything but I truly can’t say that I’ll calmly sit back over their and let the comments roll. Unproductive, I’m not sure yet.
P.S, I don’t bring this tude over here though.
.
A comment left UNREAD.
Focus on Catnip’s third law of energy conservation and re-energizing the batteries. dKos is at best an energy drain at the moment.
Oui aka @dKos as creve coeur and new creve coeur
WELCOME: Make Yourself Known @BooTrib aka lost treasure of dKos
I don’t have a problem with people standing their ground. I definitely do. It’s just a matter of knowing when things turn futile in the scheme of things. I’d never suggest that someone not stand up for what they believe in. My biggest caution is to not let it destroy you in the process.
Yep, if you find you’re standing on a fault line, it’s no time to stand THAT ground!
Catnip, btw, I bet you know by now that kidneys are AMAZING compared to other innards. Any damage need not limit you; we can live on one-fourth of one!
I’ve been living on one kidney since I was 11. And girl, I haven’t missed much fun!
(Maybe I’ve missed out on some salt . . . but try celery salt, at least at home; it’s the sodium that it’s wise to reduce.)
If you don’t use it, it will use you.
So, how can you use it?
Do you want to find ways to stop that kind of verbal abuse? You can.
I went to Alibris.com and did a search for books by Suzette Haden Elgin that included the word “verbal”. I got 17 different results; here are the two that would probably be most helpful just now.
You Can’t Say That to Me!: Stopping the Pain of Verbal Abuse: An 8-Step Program
by Elgin, Suzette Haden
Verbal abuse comes in many devastating forms–but no matter how or when it occurs, abuse language can have grave long-term consequences for the victim’s physical and psychological health and well-being. This book offers readers a practical program for controlling and ending virtually all forms of verbal abuse.
buy used: from $7.90!
Genderspeak: Men, Women, and the Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense
by Elgin, Suzette Haden
The…author…discuses–and challenges–the theory that men and women speak different dialects of English, and demonstrates–through true-to-life scenarios and dialogues–how to take full control of verbal confrontations.
buy used: from $2.95!
You can find some information about Verbal Self-Defense if you google, or you can check out my diaries at dKos. (I’ll probably migrate them here, also–if people here care enough to read them and help me work with the ideas.)
CategoryVerbalSelfDefense diaries are based on the work of Suzette Haden Elgin.
Anyway, that’s what I’m doing with my anger.
Just remember–retreat isn’t surrender!
I am new here, but would personally like you to migrate them over here so I don’t have to go to DK to read them. I have enjoyed reading them over there, and would like to be able to refer to them in the future.
As soon as kos is back up.
I want to keep as many of the comments from there as I have–at least for my own use.
The original diaries are on my hard drive as text files, so no matter what happens at dkos, they won’t get lost. Now if I could only figure out a good way to group them. And is there a daily limit here, or could I migrate them all at once?
But if we expect to last long enough to do anything about it, we (or at least I) ought to try not letting it all matter at once. That’s what I do all too often, even though I know better; I try to focus on so many things at once that they all blur in inevitable exhaustion.
Despite the apparently infinite malice of Texas politics, our own pastry-related unpleasantness and the ongoing necessity of responding to the needs of so many – always so very, very many – women with a need to be responded to, what matters most to me right now is my father.
I spent last week with him in an ICU, and one of his nurses remarked that he “must have been a good daddy” to me. He was and he is. I’ll be 54 next week, and despite all the usual daughterly provocations, he has never spoken to me in anger. Dad is back home now, but he still has a long way to go before he’s home free.
All of you care so very much about a near-infinity of “things that matter,” but if you have any healing energy at all to spare, please send it his way.
And if y’all want to, just send your stubbornly earthbound local Republicans on down here to Texas. We have so much space, and there are so many here already, that we might not even notice. Having inflicted so many of our own upon you, it would seem to be the least we can offer.
And as always, catnip, thank you. Do take care of yourself as well as you take care of the rest of us. I hope the lie-down helped.
hugs to you i know that this can be such a trying time. i have a candle lit for you, your father and catnip. trying to send every lil bit of energy i have for all of you.
for us, and I hope for catnip, too. And no matter what might happen tomorrow, tonight I feel peaceful and safe. You helped to make that happen.
This is the way it’s always been. The movers and shakers move and shake – while, mostly unseen and unheard except by each other, it is the rest of us who keep the world going round.
Where are you in Texas? Maybe I can be of some assistance.
but Dad lives down in the Big Thicket, in Liberty County, although just now he’s at his longtime partner’s place in Houston while he recuperates from a major surgery.
My two brothers are close enough to him to help out when needed. It’s just hard, that’s all.
Thanks so much for caring about us.
Hugs to you moiv and your father…
Sending healing energy to your father and your family – take care of yourself during this time as well.
Thanks for reminding me, Sally. That’s the part that sometimes slips my mind.
Dad had his follow-up appointments today and had his surgical staples removed. That alone should have him feeling better!
I’m in Irving. email me at catringmaster@yahoo.com if you want to talk or need a hug.
and I just might hold you to it. 🙂
I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been going through such a difficult time. (hugs) I wish you and your father well as you deal with this. Something we often forget as we’re busy posting on blogs is that so many people are dealing with such serious life problems. If we took some time to even consider that possibility, we might treat each other with more kindness more often.
Unfortunately, web life doesn’t provide us with anything more than a very limited view of who we’re talking to at any given time, so I appreciate it when people share a bit of themselves and what’s going on because I need that reminder that we’re more than nicknames on a screen here.
Thanks moiv.
you’re right.
As I said to Lorraine, I needed to slow down and take stock for a bit, anyway, so as bad as things have felt this week, maybe it isn’t all bad.
I appreciate all of you so very much, and here there is time enough to say so.
Good to hear that your father is doing better. I’m still touch and go here, but I’m getting through it. I have to go for further tests and am being referred to a specialist. I just want the pain to go away. I was a bit panicked (okay – quite panicked) the last 2 days, but I’m calming down now, so that should help.
Must. remember. to. breathe.
Dear moiv,
I may have to start a Tehillim routine for all the medical problems related to Kossacks and Tribbers. This was not facetious. If you give me your father’s Hebrew name, I will put him in the healing prayers.
What’s a Tehillim routine? Enquiring minds need to know. 🙂
It is a custom to say a certain number of psalms a day for a sick person.
Thank you!
Our 15 year old, Xappa, has just been diagnosed with kidney insufficiency. She’s losing weight and drinking a lot of water.
At my house? Always.
My 18 year-old calico, Ducky, is asleep on my leg right now. She’s naturally on the slim side anyway, so when her appetite is off and she drops even a little weight, I worry about her.
Does Xappa like butter and cheese? Ducky will always eat those, and the high fat content keeps her from getting too thin. If the vet says it’s all right for Xappa to have them, maybe that would help her, too.
I wish you would, because so many of us seem to need all the help we can get.
But you’ll have to help me out on something else first. How do you say Harley in Hebrew, anyway?
sending lots of good thoughts your way, moiv. wish I was closer so I could help.
Lorraine, like you always do.
It feels very different, the way we’re all together here, doesn’t it? It’s nice, sort of like trading the Tilt-a-Whirl for a porch swing.
In the strange way that things sometimes happen when they ought to, maybe it was all for the for the best. I don’t know about you and everybody else, but I needed to slow down a little anyway.
Moiv … your father must be an incredible man, he raised a wonderful daughter. There’s always enough healing energy to go around so I’m sending bushelsful. Take care of yourself while you’re taking care of him.
There’s always enough healing energy to pass it around so I’ll send bushelsful your father’s way. Even though my father has spoken to me in anger as he gets older we are finally finding the rhythm that is there between us.
At your invitation I’ll send my representative, Wally Herger, your way. He’s a good ‘ol boy that will fit in just swell.
— gone fifteen years now. Hug yours for me. . . .
I miss my mother the same way, even after 24 years.
I’ll give him a hug for both of us. Hell, I might even give him two.
Core values: Politics is fun the way that Markos writes about it. Fundamentally, however, politics is about establishing a common good and exercising judgment so that a beautiful idea is not slain by an ugly fact. Progressive politics is about speaking truth to concentrated power that stands in the way of the common good. (Degree of concentrated power possessed by Markos: debatable) An important common good is the environment. Elected officials who consider the environment central will become more and more important. Other indispensable common goods are education, civil liberties, and separation of church and state. Supporting peace in the Middle East is extremely important. Solidarity with fellow women has the potential to transform the way that politics is done.
Focus: once there is a Democratic candidate for the Missouri Senate in 2006, electing that person will have sharp focus. Secondary focus: supporting the core values. Tertiary focus: discussing elements of Democratic policy program. Another focus: getting to know the local activists.
Energy: less blogging, more finding job and cleaning house.
The focus part was important to write about. I keep going back to pie diary after pie diary because the core issue is about identity and solidarity. It is easier for me to give a Jewish perspective than a female perspective because Jewish perspectives are at least somewhat written down. Female perspectives differ with every person with a uterus and the influences in her life.
shirlstars and Sallycat, for making me feel welcome with the “4”s. I think the only time I got four of these over at the other place was for calling Rick Santorum an idiot.
Have another one from me. Thanks for what you wrote!
On the subject of Armando, I think I got 7 for a post in Armando’s April Fool’s diary saying, “I threaten to quit, and nothing happens. Armando threatens to quit, and he can’t get on the recommended list! GBCW is getting very old.”
for reminding me where my energy should lie (cleaning house)…just kidding! 😉
Glad to see you hanging out over here too — hail, hail, the gang’s all here! 🙂
It was in defining my own priorities that I decided that I needed to be in this space. My energies were being drained attempting to stay connected at Kos. It is odd though because I have moved into a much larger realm here and it is very socially sophisticated. I am at a very trying and taxing place in my personal life story and dealing with the military power structure. I must have clear access to strong female voices to keep myself empowered with what I face right now. In a matter of months my depression about the war has lifted and I stay in “active” mode and not victim mode because of the support I have received in this community. So here I am………moving on and moving forward and also growing in this much larger world arena.
I’ve read some of your diaries as you’ve been dealing with what must be a very difficlut reality. I admire you for putting it all out there on the table. Your honesty is really inspiring. You’ve touched and helped more people than you’ll ever know.
As for the social sophistication part, I hear you. Sometimes, I think I’m way out of my element, but the feedback I get keeps me going. Focus on that. 🙂
(Seriously, I have no idea why people like what I write. All I know is that some do, so that makes me feel good.)
because it is gentle and wise. The updates from across the border were well written.
Can I say, very respectfully, that calling Armando a frat boy was out of line? Armando can be civil when he chooses to. Armando can write with outrage about gender issues, such as Larry Summers, when he chooses to. Armando also tolerated my giving him crap about the Florida basketball team. His behavior in the case of “Do you or do you not agree with the ad” was counterproductive. The responses had some complexity which he could have learned from. I wish I could be as combative and dogged as Armando on some days.
Armando is a man of true passion – no doubt about that. And, he’s definitely stood up for women’s rights and issues on dKos. Unfortunately, since he’s taken on the task of defending dKos as a whole, while disagreeing with kos’s “sanctimonious etc.” comments this week, he’s borne much of the burden that rightly belongs to kos. Frankly, I’m concerned about Armando and I’ve let him know that. There is an element of the “frat boy” mentality at dKos but Armando isn’t a part of that.
just look at this.
Look at that…as what? I’m not sure of the point you’re making.
I won’t go into all of the details here because this is between Armando and myself, but we have been e-mailing back and forth about what’s going on between the two sites and I’ve said exactly what you did, Boo. This isn’t about one site against the other. It never was. I have to give Armando a bit of slack right now because he’s having a very difficult time dealing with all of this and I’ve never seen him this angry. As I said, he’s taking on a fight that is kos’s. I’m trying to help him see things differently, but I don’t know if it will help in the end. Everyone needs time to process this by stepping back and reevaluating. That’s why I posted this diary.
There are a lot of raw feelings flying around right now and it’s hard on so many people. I’ve very concerned about that. We need to get back to reasoned and rational discussions, not allowing our emotions to overtake us. That’s when people get hurt the most. I’m trying to do my bit. That’s all any of us can do.
The opening comments in that diary set a new record for deterioration.
I went over and read that diary and the comments and I’m just incredibly sad that it has come to this. However, everyone will get through this and life will go on. It’s been a tough learning experience for all involved and I imagine that pain will linger for a long time. Sometimes, we can’t choose pain, but we can choose to suffer. In the past couple of days, I’ve been moved to tears over what’s happened and it takes a helluva lot to make me cry. We will survive though.
Like you I’ve been moved to tears too many times in the past few days. I have now moved to the resolved phase and am working on gaining the strength to fight again.
Among some of my friends I’m known as a tough cookie and it takes a lot to make me cry. As the tears have passed I recalled similar battles of the past and found my old Helen Reddy “I Am Woman” album…and stood tall and whole once again.
A great phrase “we can’t choose pain, but we can choose to suffer”. I choose not to suffer.
I am glad that you said there was no war. I can see this for myself because several Kossacks have migrated over here without quitting in disgust there.
I don’t mind saying it: Armando is an egotistical, arrogant ass, regardless of his highly self-promoted pontification on women’s issues. Until he gets over himself, his obvious talent will be a total waste.
Yes! Armando has such a reputation for being an asshole that the good ideas he has don’t get enough credit.
And I really hate to do this during ‘fresh start’ week.
I don’t see the frat boy comment as out of line at all.
Aside from the fact Armando shows no hesitation in calling people who disagree with him all sorts of names, the truth is frat-boy fits.
Admittedly, he isn’t misogynistic — in that he is sensitive to womens issues. Fine, I’ll take him at face value on that one.
But there is more to the frat-boy stereotype than a disregard for women. There’s a great diary on frat-boys on the recommended list now Lessons from a Frat Boy. I posted a comment in that diary which explores a deeper explanation of bad frat-boy behavior and how it relates to politics.
Armando’s priorities were to reinforce his credentials on womens issues (I think he may have mentioned the Summers thing, over and over and over), and defend Markos (while distancing himself from the particular decision). He defended himself, his fraternity (dKos), and his fraternity brother (Markos), while freely attacking all others and conflating their geniune concerns with a plot to attack his fraternity. And despite it being his fraternity, he never tried to reign in the pledges running around saying really awful and demeaning things about those who left that noxious setting.
So, respectfully, I’d say no, it wasn’t out of line at all to say that about Armando. I’ve never noticed Armando to be very sensitive about what he calls or says about others. This just struck me as ironic.
My concept of a “frat boy” is essentially “someone who is full of male privilege”. Yours was better thought out.
Half of this thread is about Armando now, and I started it. <hangs head>
BooMan, you have been exceedingly polite to Armando and Kos throughout. Much more than Kos was to women. And much, much more than Armando has been.
Catnip, I’m glad you are able to give Armando some slack, but I think he used it all up. His comments in his diary were not aimed at finding common ground, or communicating. I was embarassed for him at how juvenile he sounded most of the time. He was rude and dismissive and pouted and ran home like a baby. I normally don’t say negative things about any poster, but Armando has earned it. Not a frat boy, a big, blubbering baby. When anyone said anything, even very nicely, that disagreed with him, he called them names and ended the argument. He said that … “this discussion is over.”
He has done that on many threads at Kos and did that here. I know he thought he was defending Kos, but he was just continuing throwing oil on the fire.
That Kos continues to glorify this baby with front-page posting priviledges, while slamming women’s concerns, says even more about Kos.
Yeah, I’m moving on, but I wish they would too. They both need to understand that when Kos pulls a power play and call people’s bluffs, people will take them up on it. Kos told us to leave and we did. How can they get mad at us for that?
And BooMan’s right. This isn’t a war between BT and Kos. There are more and more sites, every day, to go to. I registered with BT before the pie fights even started.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts about what’s going on. We can agree to disagree and do it an agreeable way. 🙂
Hi!
catnip – I hope you feel better soon. I always loved your posts on Kos and really appreciated it when you put forth stories about pain caused to animals. Always broke my heart! Animals have always been important in my life and I’ve always felt that the worst people in the world were those who did harm to animals, children and other people who were unable to defend themselves.
As for what really matters to me – the last couple of days have been very eye-opening for me and I’ve been doing a lot of soul-searching trying to figure out what really IS important to me. The bottom line is that I just can’t stand injustice of any kind. It makes me so mad I can barely breathe when I hear stories of kidnappings by military recruiters, people dying in Iraq, lies told to the American people, gays called “sinful” and a disgrace to our country, animals abused, children hurt, etc…. It’s just so damn wrong. Period. And, it’s just plain wrong to make fun of people who speak up when they see something they feel is unjust – whether you agree or disagree with them.
I haven’t the foggiest idea what I will do with this focused understanding about myself, but I do thank the frat boys at Kos for helping me learn a little bit more about myself and about what is not acceptable to me anymore. I thank you for bringing up this topic and doing your part to help us move forward.
Thanks!
Injustice. That’s my burden and my challenge to face in this life and that’s what drives me too.
(I’m not sure that I’ve written about animals and pain etc. at dkos. Maybe I did and I can’t remember? Maybe you should find out who it was so you can give them the credit they deserve.) 🙂
Yes, for me it is injustice too. That will get me het up more than anything, and it doesn’t matter who is the victim, it’s the injustice that is the problem.
I’m sorry to hear you aren’t well.
I liked your entry…it made me think and it made me smile. Just wanted to tell you that since I’m in “lazy cat” mode and I’m thinking it over even though I’m too lazy to type it out right now 😀
I don’t have much to add, other than to tell you that this is a fabulous, healing diary.
And I’m sending you healing thoughts. Just think, if muddy paw prints and dead things in the middle of the living room floor were healing elixirs, how well all of us cat owners, ahem, slaves would be.
Thanks, lorraine. I have much respect for you.
It’s been raining here for over a week and some of the local rivers are flooded. My cats are pissed because they don’t like to go out in the rain, so we’ve all been napping quite a bit together. But – they do actually trot out every now and then and the muddy paw prints are everywhere. No dead things around – that I know of! 🙂
The one thing the recent Kos meltdown reminded me of is a piece of advice that one of my colleagues gives to potential new faculty members (I’ve served on three search committees in the past two years, which in a small department is a bit time-consuming, but that’s another story). That advice is really simple: “respect others, and you can pretty much do whatever you want.”
Get some rest (#4), hon…we’ll still be here.
As for me:
#1 Defining priorities: still a work in progress.
#2 Focus: I try to live my life on the Episcopal Baptismal Covenant — to see Christ in all persons, respecting the dignity of every human being, and to work for justice and peace. (This might be worth a diary some Sunday.)
#3 Energy: My first priority must be to myself and my own health. My second priority is my spouse, who gives me the freedom to be the woman I was meant to be. The third priority is my family — my own, in my siblings and their children and grandchildren, and the spouse’s in my beloved in-laws. If any part of these aren’t working, I’m not worth a damn to the world anyway.
#4 Rest: Beginning Saturday, the spouse will be off work for 10 days (vacation next week, floating holiday on the 20th and his birthday the 21st), so I probably won’t be around as much. But don’t worry about me, I’ll be back.
#5 Reduce, Reuse, Recycle: Finally got around to packing up all my winter stuff (now that we’ve finally got halfway decent weather), and actually filled 2 bags of stuff I’m no longer wearing for donation to Goodwill (a friend I worked with received job training from Goodwill after he was unable to continue his job as a butcher because of tendonitis).
Well, that’s just me…
My wife had kidney stones several years ago that were not properly diagnosed until she was literally vomiting in the doctor’s office due to buildup of toxins in her body from the blocked kidney duct, so I know how miserable kidney stones can be.
She had a procedure called lithotripsy performed, where they use sound waves to pulverize the stone and you easily pass the resulting dust. Only takes a couple of hours, and no anesthesia needed – it feels like a rubber band snapping on your skin with each energy pulse. You might ask your doctor about it if you have recurring stones.
Thanks, Dem. Love your sig. I’m going for more tests etc. so I don’t know what’s beyond that. It’d be great if they could just pulverize whatever’s in my kidney so this can end.
Hi Catnip,
Just wanted to offer you warm wishes, good health, and I hope to God the pain subsides, never to return again.
Thank you so much! It’s still there and I’m off to sleep it off yet again, but we’ll get to the bottom of this soon I hope. Good to see you again. hugs