I have intentionally done my best to stay out of all the many views and reasons that any one person has stated as their reason for coming over here to Booman from somewhere else. The influx of the last few days has been quite amazing. Of course the large numbers at another site may be contributory to some of the perceived problems they seem to have. My thought and my view of it is that it doesn’t have to be that way, regardless of the numbers. It is the tone that is set, by whomever is in a position to set it, whether that be the site owner, the front pagers, the most popular diary posters, the community itself, or the cumulative effect of all of those factors.
In my long years on this planet I have tried to simplify my understanding of things, because sometimes the complexity of the complexities just become too complex. What I understand, for me, is that EVERYTHING is a metaphor for something else in a larger context. And eventually, if I can step back far enough to look at the biggest picture possible, I usually get a very clear understanding of things. Thus this larger view becomes my informed perspective.
I did not leave the other site because of the recent brawl that brought simmering things to a rolling boil. In fact I am not sure that I have left that place entirely. It is a place that I visit and comment if I choose. It isn’t my blog home any more, and I began my migration a while ago.
I am a diplomat. . .not in the sense of a job description, but in the sense of my personality. I prefer to attempt to understand other’s points of view and if it seems possible or probable to effect some sort of basic agreement even if it is only we agree to disagree. Opinions are merely perspectives of any given topic. Every opinion I hold is colored by my experience and perspective just as it is with everyone else. None of us holds a corner on the market of valid perspective. And I really do hold as a tenet of deepest respect that everyone has a right to their opinion, regardless of how opposite it may be from mine. That said, sometimes you just have to call shit when you step into a pile of it, the stench alone requires it.
I do not have many things I demand of others, but there are some that are inviolate for me. Tell me the truth as you know it. Respect me as I respect you. Walk your talk. I think that is pretty much it. I have room for great diversity in my sphere of association, as a matter of fact I tend to seek it out because it broadens my understandings of all things and conditions. None of us ever fully knows another, unfortunately many of us don’t know ourselves very well. But I am ever seeking at both those tasks to find a larger more encompassing view of myself and everyone else and thus the society of persons on this planet.
The reason I personally began to migrate away from another site was the intolerance of differing views by so many, and the absolute disrespect afforded me and many others by some of the very loud voices there. I can take care of myself. I learned that before I was 5. It is in my nature to want to defend those I see being trampled, even when I do not agree with the opinions of those persons. You see, it is not so much personal with me, as I believe we are a family of humans here and if we don’t damn well learn how to be accepting, caring and loving towards each other, we will destroy each other and everything we hold dear. I knew what to do about that. I shifted my focus here and to other things of importance to me. I did this a while ago and I have become very fond of my new home.
If you come into my “house” with “attitude” I might just very politely ask you to leave if you have nothing positive or sincere to offer. As much of a reconciler as I attempt to be most times, there is a point where I will just no longer put up with shit when shit is all that is being offered. That is out of respect for myself. And as much as I choose not to let others treat me disrespectfully, I really have a problem when someone treats my fellow Tribbers in a disrespectful manner, even though I doubt they need my interference to handle the situation.
In the past few days, I have not heard anyone talking about a desire to destroy or undermine any other site on the web. What I heard was sincere pain and surprise and profound disappointment in what felt like betrayal. What I also heard was, let’s work for the greater cause of the things that matter for us. Let’s be an energy that fosters strength and understanding of why gender issues matter to us, and should be of great concern to everyone. I hear the pain, but what I also hear is a very positive message of effecting a change that is long overdue. I also heard sadness about not being in community with so many that they have come to love and respect.
When I was very young, my mother impressed upon me that it is not wise to stay where others don’t want you. I think that has been excellent advice, even though I have had a tendency to linger a bit longer than others might, just to be sure that I really was not welcome. That is also why I go out of my way to make others feel welcome in the places I frequent. It is important to me that others know how much I value what they have to bring to the mix. I value your views and your presentations of them.
If you don’t care for my views, be assured that you can tell me and that I will listen. If you feel there is some compelling discussion that might offer me a different perspective, I am glad to hear it and will sincerely consider it. If you think I am full of crap, fine. But if you think you are welcome to stand in my face and blatantly disrespect me. . .you can expect that I will not condone it and I will remove myself from interaction with you in the future. I will not attempt to shut you up or shut down your right to expression. I just will not willingly participate in senseless disrespectful discourse.
That said, I am no one of any greater importance here than any one of you. I am just one of the multitude who enjoys my association here and my opportunity to speak my views and have discussion with others. And a huge THANK YOU to BOOMAN for providing this space. Big thanks to Diane101 for convincing me that this might be a better place for the type of participation I was looking for. Susanhu, SallyCat, Lorraine, Oui, alohaleezy, ghostdancers way, carnacki, bood abides, and I apologize for all the others who have escaped my mind at the moment, you were the ones with your excellent writing, your research, your concerns, your humor and your openly welcoming way that brought me in here and made me feel at home right away. Thank you all.
It is my hope that everyone here, whether part of the new influx or ones who have been here a while, will feel the same welcome and freedom and joy of participation that I have found here. I intend to do whatever I can to assist others to feel that. I hope each of you will want to perpetuate what this blog has come to stand for and do your part to foster the respect and acceptance that is the rule here. We have our own identity as a blog and we are pretty proud of it. Boo has done a terrific job here, and everyone else has done a great deal to bring this about.
As long as we have hope and are willing to bring the action required, we have all that we need.
I have read every comment that has been posted on the welcome diaries, and I am awed, delighted, encouraged, and just flat out flabergasted at the scope of the valuable assests all of you who have participated bring to the Frog Pond! What an amazing gathering. Welcome!
