for a while. There’s another Pie diary and I got sucked into it. Below the fold is a bit of the diary and one of my responses, which I would like to discuss without the rancor and idiocy.
The diary is by MilitaryTracy and quotes this definition of sexual harassment:

Sexual Harassment

What is it?
Sexual harassment is any kind of unwelcome sexual advance. It can be a pinch, a leer, a suggestive remark, or an overt request for sexual favors.

Forms of sexual harassment:


Suggestive comments
Sexual innuendo & insults
Humor & jokes about sex
Comments & jokes based upon gender or sexual identity


Whistling, leering & ogling
Suggestive or insulting sounds
Display of obscene or suggestive material
Obscene gestures


Touching or patting
Brushing against the body
Coerced sexual conduct

Don’t Blame Yourself!
Sexual Harassment is about POWER not Sex.

One of my comments (before I just got fed up) was:

I agree with every statement made in the quoted text, except for the last. Sexual harassment is about sex, it’s just not about sex the way that women think about sex. It is about sex the way that (many) men think about sex.

For example, why is it called a “conquest”? A conquest is when power is exerted by someone over someone else and something is taken that is wanted by the taker. As Stephen Pinker wrote: armed robbery is not about power, it’s about getting the money. If I get mugged (I have been a few times) I don’t think it is my fault for having something that the robber wants.

Of course if I walk around the tenderloin district late at night wearing a suit and I get mugged then I would think that I might have avoided it had I not gone there. But for women a huge fraction of the world is the equivalent of the tenderloin. That’s the horrifying truth and that’s what has to be changed.

But the punch line is: Yes, it is about sex and yes, it is Not your fault. The two are not mutually exclusive.

I think kos should have removed the ad. I think that sexual harassment is in the eye of the harassee (women). But I think that (at least some) men would have less of a problem with such discussions if comments like “it’s not about sex” were relegated to the dustbin.

The problem with such comments is that they were invented by women to explain actions by men that they (women) don’t understand. The problem is men do understand. It is about sex. It is about power as well but not just about power. In many instances it is about the conflation of power and sex, as I tried to explain in my “pie diary” comment quoted above.

I’m just sayin’.

Hopefully it will be a bit quieter around here, with more thoughtful and less judgmental commentary.

Please let me know what you think.

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