God, I love Pink Dome.

There’s no more entertaining place to keep up with what’s really going on in Reichstag-on-the-Brazos (yes, y’all, I know Austin’s on the Colorado, but these days I’m doing all I can to stay rooted) than the deliciously seditious and nutritious PD.

Now, along with an account of Little Ricky’s bill-signing service last Sunday with that hate-peddling Pharisee Rod Parsley, PinkDome treats us to a peek at self-described “Evangelical leader” Ted Haggard‘s e-mailed instructions to his flock at Colorado City’s New Life Church on how to try their best to pass as “normal” during an upcoming opportunity to be on TV.

Let PinkDome tell you all about it. You’ll be glad you did.

As Mrs. Patrick Campbell so famously said, one shouldn’t frighten the horses, let alone Barbara Walters — but this bunch just might.

Thanks again to PD for this look behind the blinkers (emphasis added):

From: Pastor Ted Haggard
To: [e-mail address deleted]
Date: May 10, 2005 6:51 PM
Subject: Media Attention

Dear New Lifers and friends of New Life Church:

I just received the following e-mail and thought you ought to know about some developments. Yesterday a small team of Evangelical leaders (Sunday Adelaja from Kiev, Michael Little, President of CBN, Jay Sekulow from the Center for Law and Justice in Washington, Brian and Bobbie Houston from Hillsong in Sidney, Australia, and Dr. Brent Parsley from the great New Life Church in Colorado Springs, CO, USA) and  myself spent just about three hours with Benjamin Netanyahu, Minister of Finance for Israel near/on the Sea of Galilee in Israel. Then we were in Jerusalem and in two hours we’re leaving to meet Prime Minister Ariel Sharon.


I wanted you to see this e-mail about some upcoming media attention that was just forwarded to me so you can help me.


Here are a few tips:

  1. If a camera is on you during a worship service, worship; don’t dance, jump, etc. Secular people watching TV are touched with authentic worship, but jumping and dancing in church looks too bizarre for most to relate to. Remember, people watching TV news are not experiencing what you are experiencing. They are watching and thinking. Worship indicates sincerity, dancing and jumping looks like excessive emotionalism.
  2. If reporters want to interview you, talk with them, but use words that make sense to them. Speak their language. Don’t talk about the devil, demons, voices speaking to you, God giving you supernatural revelations, etc. Instead, tell your personal story in common sense language (I was a drunk but God changed me and now I’m sober, I’m grateful, etc.).
  3. Don’t be nervous. Be friendly and open. Reporters typically don’t have an agenda, they authentically want to know what we do and why we do it. For example, Barbara Walters is working on a story about heaven and will interview me [snip] if she talks with you, don’t be spooky or weird. Don’t switch into a glassy-eyed heavenly mode, just answer, “Heaven is real. It’s the place where God will be fully present with his people. He will reward people in heaven. Heaven is better than Colorado Springs.” Say it straight and clear. Don’t worry (Yeah, sure!).

Okay, Brent and I are


going to a meeting on Thursday night in Washington, then on Friday morning we’ll fly to New York to interview with Barbara Walters and then appear on the O’Reilly Factor Friday evening. Then we’ll zip home on Saturday to be with YOU on Sunday. Saints, I need your strength. I would love to see you all on Sunday so we can just have a wonderful family time together. I LOVE you!

And I love being your pastor,


I don’t know about you, but what spooks this old gray mare even more than what Haggard preaches is the company he keeps

Next time you see Brother Rick, be sure and tell him Brother Ted said hello.

Crossposted at The Daily Kos and Come and Take It

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