This past Friday, it was my great honor and privilege to attend the wedding ceremony of a good friend of mine (for those who may have read my first diary entry, yep, it’s one of my fraternity brothers). He is a very devout Christian, and his new wife is Hindu.
The wedding consisted of two separate ceremonies, a Hindu ceremony in the morning, and a Christian one in the afternoon. As a wedding veteran, I went in with a pre-conceived notion of what I was about to witness, and came out pleasantly surprised.
With a lead in like that, how can you not follow me into the wild blue yonder?
First, a little bit about the individuals that make up this new amazing couple. He is one of the nicest, most intelligent people I’ve ever met, not to mention one of the most generous and giving. He is a very talented songwriter and musician when he finds the time, but normally you’ll find him working the ER at Cook County hospital. She is the perfect complement to him; just as smart, just as nice, just as giving. She is in her first year of her internal medicine residency.
The Hindu ceremony started off early in the morning (I arrived around 8am, and heard rumor that food had been served since 6am. AFAIK, my clock doesn’t even have a 6am). This was my first Hindu ceremony, so I didn’t have the faintest idea of what to expect. Everything was beautiful; it took place under a tent, and there were radiant floral displays everywhere I looked. The ritual was much less formal than a Christian ceremony, and the guests were encouraged to walk around and chat with each other while the rites were going on. This was a good thing, as it was also much longer than a traditional Christian ceremony (it took about 3 and 1/2 hours). There was also food served at the end, which was absolutely fantastic (though I honestly have no idea what any of it was).
We then had a break of a couple of hours before the Christian ceremony. I thought I knew what would happen there, as I’ve been to many a Christian wedding (A sure sign of aging). Surely this one would be no different.
Let me take just a quick moment to explain my own religious views. The Merriam Webster entry for agnostic pretty much sums it up. I don’t begrudge anyone their views, and certainly don’t hold theirs as either less or more ‘correct’ than mine. I personally don’t believe that there is a ‘God’ as described in religious texts; no matter what, when I look inward, I just can’t believe it. Faith without conviction is an empty lie to oneself, and all too often leads to failures in moral consistency. But I do think that there is a certain mysticism that permeates the world, and I’d be foolish not to recognize that out of preference to thinking I can know everything.
Back to the wedding (boy, I can prattle on about my views forever. Sorry.). I was completely expecting to walk into the Church and sit through a traditional Christian wedding, and honestly wouldn’t have really thought twice about it. But instead, what I witnessed was a celebration of religious diversity, and a great esteem for people of other faiths.
The pastor started off lauding the couple with praise (which as I noted above, was truly deserved in this case). What he said next clued me in that this was a little different than a normal ceremony. He said that it would be frowned upon, and in fact was outright banned by the Catholic church for him to perform the marriage rites, out of their deep respect for the Hindu faith. The Church recognized that they had already been married in the Hindu ceremony earlier in the day, and that it would be an affront to God himself to marry them again.
I wish I had a transcript of the priest’s words; he was so very eloquent, respectful, and full of joy at the notion that these two, through the celebration of their union, had helped to bring together peoples of two different nations, two different religions. I could tell that he was genuine; he was truly and deeply moved by the fact that we had all come together and transcended above any religion in our celebration of their coupling. He made it a human celebration, instead of a religious celebration, and I was deeply impressed.
Which brings me finally to my point. Despite the fact that I don’t subscribe to a particular organized religion, it still breaks my heart to see how often religion is used to drive people apart. There is so much good that can be done, and isn’t, because too many people with audience are preaching the wrong message. This particular priest hit the proverbial nail on the head. We should be celebrating what makes us the same, instead of bickering over what makes us different. And in fact we should have a solemn respect for those things that do make us different (as the saying goes, if we weren’t different, we’d all be the same). There is a lot of power in that, I think. It was refreshing to hear a man of the cloth put it so plainly, and recognize it as the obvious truth that it is.