We interrupt our regular Booman programming; this is a California emergency. Important instructions will follow.
A major muscle-flexing, steroid-abusing, Kennedy-marrying earthquake struck the Kahlifoania government on Tuesday, June 14th, at 6:45PM PDT. Officials at USGS estimated the magnitude at 9.4 on the modified corrupt-Demagogue scale.
The USGS immediately issued a warning for a massive coupnami that could strike the entire state of Kahlifoania in November 2005, rendering its government non-representative and potentially destroying what is left of its status as a decent place to live.
Citizens are advised to get out and protest early and often.
The Gropenator will probably ignore letters sent here, unless you also send a briefcase full of cash:
All the retired judges will just happen to be Republican. Coincidence? Or evil Rovian plot to snag a few extra seats in Congress?
Why bother having a legislature? Just declare the governator to be Emperor and get it over with.
It’s not worth having a special election without throwing a bone to the Fristian sect.
And it wouldn’t be a Republican plan without giving a huge extended middle finger to labor unions.
So we know the Gropenator is all about “democracy”, right?
Because you can’t be a Republican governor without sucking up to fat cats and Texas Oilmen at $1000 per plate dinners. All those special interests from out of state have one thing in mind: LOOTING CALIFORNIA!
Arnold Schwarzenegger is truly evil. He is subverting our democracy using the power of celebrity and gigantic piles of loot that would have made Gray Davis green with envy.
We are about to face a months-long barrage of political propaganda, paid for by Wall Streeters and corrupt Texas oilmen, that will test whether or not half the people can be fooled all of the time. Judging by the results of November 2004, it’s not entirely clear that the forces of democracy are going to win this one. But win it we must! Every single Gropenator proposal must go down in a crushing defeat, or we will have encouraged this kind of abuse to be repeated elsewhere.
Where to go to start organizing:
UPDATE: MOST ORWELLIAN PART OF ARNOLD’S ATTACK ON WORKING PEOPLE
Teachers, firefighters, and police officers are “OUT TO ROLL YOU EVERY DAY!” Can you believe the gall of the GOP? Firefighters and police officers who have MODEST PAY and RISK THEIR LIVES EVERY SINGLE DAY are “OUT TO ROLL YOU”?
I’m angry. I’m angry at asshats like Don Sipple. I’m angry that the GOP is waging class war in a blue state, probably armed with the biggest pile of special interest loot ever assembled for a statewide election. California is becoming the front line in America’s class war.