Some thoughts on perceptions, health, medical science, and alternative modalities.
These things, although many of them backed by study and research, are being presented to you as a conversation. A conversation of those things that have informed my particular views of the topic. So from that view, they are my opinions and they are opinions held by far more than probably most of you are aware of. It is not my purpose to “change your mind”, it is just a conversation that might offer some perspectives you have not been aware of.
I am asking you to play a “what if” game with me for the purpose of directing our conversation in a respectful and open manner. You are entitled to your opinions and beliefs. Each of us are. Yours do not need to be compatible with mine, mine do not need to be compatible with yours. We allow each other our own space in the universe to view and experience life as we choose it.
In my lifelong studies of how the hell to get through this life with something worthwhile and something containing some joy, my focus and my direction ultimately led me to Metaphysics, among many, many other philosophies. From that study I have formed and shaped an understanding of how things work in the universe and how to use those things to my best interest and happiness. It showed me there is a much bigger picture of what this life is all about and what our participation in it might be.
In my opinion, our society or culture in the United States is driven by FEAR. Huge, big, overwhelming fear. Probably biggest among them is our fear of death. Not just our own, but the death of those we love and care about. I would suggest if you haven’t already, or if it has been a very long time, please read anything that Elizabeth Kubler Ross has written on the subject and Dr Bernie Siegel’s book, “Love, Medicine and Miracles”. They do a much better job of giving you their knowledge on the subjects than I can, and they have the advantage of being medical doctors which gives a perspective I don’t personally have.
Fear is the most destructive force in the universe. It is the basis of all illness. Just take a look at how ill our society has become since 9/11 and the constant fear mongering of the press and the administration. It brings about the conditions that open us up for physical disease and illness. . .it is an immune system depleter, or even an immune system killer. And our biggest fear seems to be what? Death.
Death is a part of life. It is not separate from life, it is not something unique and foreign that only a few experience. It is part of the life cycle here. We seem to hold the view that there is a certain way that death was meant to enter this life experience, and that is only at the end of long years and life lived. What if we are mistaken about that. What if prior to coming through birth into this lifetime you, (yes you the individual you) decided or chose that there was something you wished to accomplish, something very specific and it wouldn’t take very long for you to do that, so you were very happy with the idea of 12 years max as your life span for this lifetime. Or maybe it was 20 years, 30 years, 100 years. In relation to the universe, time is a very nebulous thing. Even a perceived long and eventful life of 85 or 90 years is hardly a blink of an eyelash as relates to things beyond our earth.
When we feel separate and apart from the rest of the universe, it can seem very much like this shot at this one lifetime is all there is and so we have a tendency to hang onto it with great fear. What if you have always existed and will always exist although perhaps not in this particular physical form? (matter cannot be destroyed) What if all the beauty and the wonder of your individuality is eternal? Never lost, always adding to the whole of creation. Then it seems, to many of us, death is really the door opening to the next step in universal evolution of the soul or spirit. Hardly an ending place, much more of a transition place.
One thing I know for certain (and you may know something entirely different) is that how we experience this life and the manner and degree of health we experience is contained within our personal belief system. So it is quite individual from one person to another. Your perspective of your truth is what matters. You may change your perspectives many times, indeed continually if you are like me, or you may grab a hold of one viewpoint and stubbornly or with great unmoving determination never change it. That is up to you and that brings forth everything you experience and how you experience it.
If you believe in Medical Science and procedures, then that is where you will find your very best solutions to those things that are illness and disease within your physical body. That is your truth and you should never choose options that you don’t believe in. That would be foolish. I have no quibble with your beliefs in Medical Science. I have found a better way for ME. That does not make it a better way for anyone else. I have a multitude of experiences and anecdotal material that backs up my belief, just as you do for yours.
If I hadn’t changed my views on this subject, I might not be walking today. I might not be alive today. I might not be in such wonderful health and pain free life as I experience today. But here I am at 64, taking no medications, seeing no doctors, living a very happy and healthy life, and fearing death not at all.
Many of you are experiencing ill health and illness within your families. My heart and compassion goes out to you as you face these difficult times. If I can offer any help, or if knowing that I am there with you energetically or in spirit is of any assistance, know that it is there. If you are confident and pleased with the medical service you are getting, I am very happy for you. If you are wondering if there is another way, or other ways and are open to discuss it, then I will be happy to share what I understand and listen to all others that want to share what they understand.
So Let’s talk. . .
Update [2005-6-16 12:9:19 by shirlstars]:In the spirit of full disclosure, you should know that This diary is Diane101’s fault. She has this way of telling me I really need to do a diary about _______(fill in the blank)and then sending me off to do it. So blame her for the subject matter, blame me for the content. (did I ever mention that she is pushy er. . persuasive? but she sure has a way of getting things done)
Beautifully said and beautifully written as I would always expect to see from you. You already know that I agree with you on this so I do not have anything to add at this point but will no doubt jump in as the conversation progresses. I think I just might go back and copy what I wrote in the Froggy cafe and others might want to do that as well.
I am sure that I will enjoy this discussion and please everyone put a rec. on this.
Brenda, I have faced this for many years and I refuse to do take part in it. Hey I am 62, how much longer do I have to live anyway in the first place. Don’t everyone jump on me now, this is what I have chosen….. Anyway, I am sick and tired of the medical profession with their tortuous tests, and I have experienced many, plus the pleasure of many hospital stays, where I nearly died several times due to their ineptness and sometimes downright neglect.
So I am willing my body into preventing cancer from existing in my body and healing any diseases I have with meditation.
Plus I just do not trust doctors anymore what so ever, after a misdiagnaosis 35 years ago led to my present back disability. Color me fed up and I’ll take care of myself.
Hi Laura, I would tell my daughters to do what their hearts and minds tell them to and that it is up to them. Do not try to sway them one way or the other and they do all of it that they need so far.
I have seen someone die of Breast cancer (my Mother) and I have my own thoughts on this that if any one wants to do a diary on this subject I would write about it, but it’s kind of a downer here in the cafe.
I know that no death is pleasant, that I can think of, and I have always reserved the right to choose the manner of my own death. I am a smoker btw so I have made that choice in some ways in that..
Anyone else can do as they wish according to their beliefs. I have already faced death 7 times and once I was unconscious for 3 day after resp. arrest. and that would actually been a perfect time for me to die I did say then, maybe not for my family, but for me it would have been so easy. When I woke up I didn’t know anything of what went on or what time had passed. I was gone from there/here totally.
Living dangerously again to day with stating my personal views on this subject something I rarely do. Also I am the happiest person on earth at this time so I really have no death wish.
Thanks for your words tho, I know your position quite well and realize mine might sound bizzare but I am perfectly sane and of sound mind. My daughter just called and I told her what I wrote and she laughed, that I would bring that up. I told her about the living dangerous part and she agreed, my children are quite used to me being this way.
Subsequent to this comment I asked Shirl to do a diary on this subject as she knows just how to say what I struggle to say…
You and I have had a few private conversations about this, Diane. And so you know I am getting a big chuckle out or your “living dangerous” comments.
You perceive it as living dangerously. I view it as living within the truth of who you are. Once we are willing to be who we are absolutely in our everyday, life just takes on a whole new aura and aspect. It doesn’t have to be an “in your face” who I am. It can be a very calm and open, “this is who I am.”
I call it Living Life on Purpose, and it is the subject of a seminar series I am creating. It seems to me that far too many of us have a view that life happens to us and it is outside our control. Living life on purpose is a choice that puts you back in the driver’s seat and allows you to live a directed and fulfilling life.
JHMO, as always
I take your point, I guess I had shades of DK on my mind when I said that living dangerous. And you are quite right, I am living the truth of my life, no small thanks to you for that, till I found you I was a lone voice in the wind many times. So good to have someone like you to express these things so well.
Iam living life on purpose now and intend to keep right on with it.
BRAVA! And you were just waiting for someone to remind you of what you already knew and understand.
went through a similar epiphany last year.
Early in 2004, she went in the hospital and had the lower portion of one lung removed when cancer was discovered in it. She also went back on chemotherapy (she’d been on it before for lymphoma), which really zapped her energy and sent her into depression. (I think it was only then she was able to understand what her daughter-in-law, my brother’s wife, had been going through for many years with her severe depression.)
When the cancer popped up in the other lung late in the year, she finally said, “Enough is enough,” and quit the chemo. She was ready to die…but I wasn’t ready to let her go. It’s a good thing my oldest sister had the final say in treatment options, and not me. I still miss her, and wish we’d gone out on better terms; I still feel like I was a general disappointment to her, though that’s probably ridiculous.
Okay, so I got that out of my system for the week…
It’s been tough, but I’m starting to come to terms with no longer having any parents (my dad died 35 years ago). In someway, talking about it today with my hairdresser of all people was cathartic in a way.
Thank you for sharing your story with us Cali Scribe. We all have some difficult times in the death of our loved ones, especially our parents. I know when I flew down to Sourthern Cal for my mothers funeral, my brother gave me a big hug and then got a sort of funny look on his face and said, “You know, we are orphans now.” No matter our age or station in life, it is amazing the impact our parents have on the life we live.
Hairdressers. . .highly underpaid as the therapist/listening friends that they often are.
That dear shirl, is why I tip the woman who keeps my long straight grey/brn/silver hair in very good shape, a 40% tip whenever she listens to my life story for the umpteenth time. She is a wonderful hairdresser and magnificent person, I only wish I could get her to stop listening to Dr Phil and Dr Laura, lol.
Yep, hairdressers, worth their weight in gold.
And I had to laugh at your Dr Phil, Dr Laura Reference. I am almost through with my PhD and I tell everyone my driving force was to grab the diploma, get me a radio show called Dr Shirl and debunk all the crap that these two put out over the airways. . .I am especially wanting to take Dr Laura to task for her absolute lies.
(I really have no radio plans, but I sure wish that sort of junk psychology was not sold as some sort of answer or solution to the masses)
As a veteran Peer Counselor, Addiction, Alcoholism, STD and HIV prevention, ten years in the trenches, I have to agree with you there. These two pundits of junk psychology, abuse the and demean those who call in and make sure they buy buy buy, your books, tapes, CD’s and DVD’s, so you too can be miraculously cured by the Great Dr’s Phil and Laura. God these people make me ill and to hear someone like my hairdresser go on and on and on and on about how great they are it just makes me want to commit an anti social act. LOL
Not against my hairdresser, against Phil and Laura.
This is beautifully written, Shirl, and has given me a lot to think about — it presses a lot of buttons for me. I’ll have to chew it over a little more before I can add anything further, but I wanted to thank you for posting it.
I love it when anything I present allows for “things to chew on.” That is the purpose of it all. It is not to persuade anyone to change their minds, not to say my view is better than yours, but to “chew on things” and see if their is more understanding that might broaden a perspective.
So glad you stopped by and anytime you wish to discuss or voice your views or concerns, that is what this conversation is all about.
Funny thing, I was thinking about fear earlier today and how the world runs on it. I was thinking about it in relation to Dems and Repubs, for instance, and how on each side we tend to think the other side has crazy fears.
I look at what they’re scared of. . .gay marriage, premarital sex, non-existent WMD, flag burning, etc.. . and it all looks like fantasy to me. It looks as if some people who didn’t have anything to fear decided they needed something to fear and so they made some things up to scare themselves.
But then I thought, our side purports to be scared of different stuff and apparently, our monsters look insubstantial to them. We’re scared of old people losing their pensions, we’re scared of what happens when a whole population of black men get poured into prisons, we’re scared of the country lacking health care, etc. These things look very, very real and imminent to us, but the other side isn’t scared of those things, at least not like we are; they don’t appear to care about them, which makes them look uncaring and stupid and callous to us. And we aren’t scared about their stuff, and so we look stupid and uncaring and callous to them.
Their fears look real to them and unreal to me.
Our fears look unreal to them and real to us.
Fear runs us, coming and going. If we’re not afraid of something, they are, and vice versa. And what they’re afraid of makes us work hard to defend, and what we’re afraid of makes them work hard to attack, and on and on and on.
No wonder people are sick and tired.
And Kansas, you SOOOOOOOO get it!
While I look at the specific things you mention, I have concern that the priorites seem misplaced to me. And so I frame my thoughts and my focus on the positive way that we may effect change that will serve a higher and better purpose for all concerned. (Yeah, sure, sometimes what the R’s are doing and shouting pisses me off, but makes me more determined to focus on what we will collectively, as many as are willing, focus on as things that benefit the greater whole and not the selfish few).
KANSAS, YOU JUST KNOW GIRL!!!!! all of this is very scarry to me as well as a person and as a professional. What has happened here in America is not good!!!! We really ahve to step up to the plate here and do and get some change for us all.
Kansas, that is one of the most commonsense things I’ve ever seen written on the subject – fantastic!
I sometimes feel that the people around me (affluent, suburban Orange County, CA) are terrified all the time. They live in the safest part of the country, yet they fear crime with an intensity I wouldn’t have thought possible. They live only a few miles from another country, and surrounded by people of all nationalities and cultures, yet they are xenophobic. The landscape is carved into gated ‘communities’. One woman I know won’t let her children venure out of her sight without a walkie-talkie.
I sometimes eat my lunch in a neighborhood park near my office and I see parents waiting to pick their kids up from the local school. I would expect them to mingle, sit in the sun, walk around and talk about the shared experience of parenting. They sit in their cars, windows rolled up and air conditioning on. The silence is eerie.
What bothers me the most about the polarization of the country is that we lack the most basic shared experience around which to unite. We can’t even come together for the purpose of keeping our children safe if we can’t agree on what to keep them safe from. I feel isolated in my suburban community and I feel isolated in this country – not because there is no one who feels as I do, but because there are so many people to whom I can’t relate at all.
For some of them, their biggest fear seems to be that their god will die without believers–and no one will believe without coercion.
In short, they have no faith in their god.
(Perhaps that is because they follow their human leaders, rather than simply seeking out the Spirit of the Universe.)
Here’s a photoshop idea: Robertson, introducing the Golden Calf to the ReichFolk, saying “Behold, the son of Dob!”
How appropriate, how so true, reichwingers such as Robertson, Falwell, Dobson, Perkins and their ilk have no faith, have no honor, offer no dignity to anything but money and power. To these reichwingers, doing unto others to gain capital, political or monetary is the essence of their belief systems. I amke this assertion based on what I read, see and find out through my own investigations. These reichwingers are the epitome of the axis of evil within the US.
so that should tell you in what arena I stand. I respect any and all areas of medicine and caring for ones self and family. Now that that is out of the way…..
I believe that in my own practice, I treat and deal with both body and mind and soul of my patients and with great deal of respect. I do not seperate one from the other. When one is ill the mind changes its thought process in a different way of thinking. Same thing with the mind, when one is ill in the mind the body feels the illness too. The soul is yet another diary in and of itself, in my opinion. Therefore, I take into consideration the total person. I see many nurses and doctors not doing this. Such a shame too. I believe in touching my patient. Not for any other reason but to let the patient know I know they are there physically and to connect with them on that fashion, which leads to other things, hopefully, such things like trust, bonding, humbling myself to them, commassion, caring, not afraid of them. [even with gloves on, I still touch] I could go on and on. This is how I practice my own nursing. Now some patients do not like the touching thing. Like I touch their hands or forhead and then say what I have to say, but to know that they know I am there, even in a coma or such state of limbo, they just might know I am there speaking to them. I do not get a lot of feedback from them outright but to see them warm up to my being there will eventually lead us both to talking about them and what is wrong with them. Maybe there is something I can not see with my own eyes or taking of history, but by doing such a thing as I do, I let them know I am oen to their words and complaints or what evre it is they need and want to say.
NOw, I have been a patient…it is so hard for a nurse or doctor to be a patient themselves…they are the worlds worst pts ever…and I have vowed to not be like that ever….well almost never…welllllll, quite frankly, I suppose some would say, give her morphine and shut her up!!!:o) NO just kidding, but once the nursing staff finds out that I am a nurse, attitudes and the whole ball of wax changes…we start to talk in medical terms and I am expected to help to diagnose me..nuf said..you can just imagine. Well, being in nursing for over 40 years, I have a lot of things in my magic bag of tricks, as my dr, with whom I work like to call it, but self healing is not one of them..I have yet to master that one. As you all know by now, from my story of today at the cafe, what silly things I can do onmy own behalf. This goes without saying. I just never have had to deal with Brenda in the terms as I have had to as of late. She is a person that is very much changing in age and becoming in the terms of geriatric..:o) Heart problems…Hell no not me!!!!! that is called denial…this is one of the firt things ppl do when sick…also in death..also in lots of things gone wrong in life…then comes acceptance…for all the same areas said already.
I could go on and on in thsi area with great expertiese..but not today..except I want to listen to others…I love to learn about ppl and how they think and do things and how they deal with things..This to me is what life is all about..
I in a religious way am a believer, and enough is said there but to really come down to it, I hope I am ready for death and what is dealt with that process…I saw my mother struggle with it with seizures and this went on for over 18 hours..before she gave up the life she was blessed with…I too have come close to deat twice..But thanks to a thai dr on one of those occassions, I am very blessed to say the least…the other time he saved me from myself..of course I say thank god to that as well. I just do nto ahve advice to anyone with other methods of caring for ones self or others. I am wise enough to know there are many things out there that I have not experienced and I love to hear about them, All I can say is I am very proud and happy to be a person inthe healthcare community and all that is offers.
I have done my career in civilian and military settings…same song, different verse…nothing changes when it comes to humans..to love the human and care for the human is my ultimate being on this earth I feel…this is the opening of my story about me…now you will know who I am and where I am coming from when I speak about things.
Thanks for the diary, Girlfriend…Hugs “LOVE AND PEACE”
You comment generated a million responses in my mind, but for the moment of will stick with this one.
Your point on touching patients, I must say that in the morass of my hospital experience. I think that I have actuall been healed from both the words and the compassion of the resp. therapist and from the light and energy she brought to me.
Another odd thing was that she prob. did this for me on 3 separate occasions when she tended me in hosp. When I saw her walk in the door the last time, I just knew then and there that I would be ok.
Another was a Doctor who saved my life 7 times purely by the fact that he was the head of Respitory and when he was called for help he immediate responded with the correct treatment of me which has been exacerbated by medicine I was alergic to and no one would listed to my cries and pleas that I was getting worse. Then it was rush into ICU,…the last time when I woke up from Unconsciousness he was standing there at the foot of my bed smiling from ear to ear and I started to smile too. There he was once again to save me. I loved him so.
Thanks Brenda for being one of those kind and caring nurses that I have experienced and owe a debt of gratitude. Accept this thanks for you and all your fellow kindhearted nurses.
Oh Diane, on behalf of those of which you speek, I would be most honored to accept your kind words…
Yes there are those out there on not only in nursing but for all the kogs in that wheel that keeps the wheel moving. As apt. once, I had a housekeeper who did that for me.
That is why, even if I feel bad physically and mentally, I try to at least smile and be happy for them, the patients..they didnt ask for my personal problems..That very housekeeper, I found out later, was having tests to eval her for ca and she did have it and eventually die from it. I just asked God to take a little special car of her for me…and never forgot her.
And what a wonderful choice of what to do with a life. Truly you are a blessing and gift to those you interact with. The heart of a nurse is a wonderful gift to humankind.
As you say, your experience and knowledge of so many years are very valid and of great use to so many. I grew up having enormous caring for nurses. As a young woman, my grandmother was a Practical nurse as they called it then, which was not the same thing as LPN’s are today. She knew some great stuff that I had a hard time believing in, except that it always worked. The cure for hiccoughs, the cure for a stye on your eye, and a whole lot of other wise things. When I was six I had a T&A and the only person that could comfort me was the dr’s nurse. I felt safe and cared for with her.
Yep, nurses have always been high on my admired list. So count yourself there Brenda. And by the by, what a great title for a series of young persons books: Brenda Stewart, Nurse. chuckle, chuckle. . . .
Hugs to you girlfriend
oh shirl, I hav most certainly threatened to write one too…Some of the things I could tell you…would make you cry either from saddness or laughing so hard…I still do to today.
believe it or not, there ae ppl out here in this old world who have no one in the world to be with them when they are dying. If I can arrange it and have done so, I try to be with them at their side during this process..I know that maybe they do not know that I am there for them, but maybe,,,,well, who knows…I jsut feel no one should have to die alone without another human to be with them to pay respect to them..all the time I know that their God is with them. Mabe it is just me…and my feelings…but That is how I think and feel…
Again, I so know what you are saying and couldn’t agree more. In the mid 80’s I took hospice training and was very involved in volunteer help in that area. It is a very important role and a most divine work, in my estimation, to be allowed to be there for someone as they transition through the death process.
There is a really huge focus in the Metaphysical, New Age, Other spiritual concept, groups of people (really, folks there are millions of us) to provide that loving “being there” for someone as they leave this life. A very sacred and beatiful calling of service to our fellow beings.
You’re the Woman, Brenda!
oops, that would be beautiful. . .not what I wrote. . .
:o)…one of the most beautiful things I have learned in life is to accept mistakes and go on…I understood what you were meaning…
Thank you for your understanding and work in that area as well..it is most deserving of you by the patient and that family as well.
thank you My friend, but NO thanks called for. I know you would be there for me if needed.
You can count on it!
now let me tell you all of another instance that just proves caring of others is not just for nurses but for human kind. As you may or may not know, I am the state [TN] person to go to for the Vietnam Womens memorial, or Foundation as of today. When we dedicated our memorial, on that 11th day of November of 1993, the whole town of DC was loaded with male vets trying to find his nurse that day..he just wanted to tell her thank you and to hold her in his arms and shed a tear with her. NO matter what field hospital or hospital ship she was on or for that matter what hospital in the states she was at and that goes without saying..It in and of itself was the most healing I had seen in one single day in my entire lifetime…in of the heart and spirit. There is again more stories to be told…some day, maybe…
How greatly the world would benefit from your story! I hope if you have the time and the desire you will seriously consider writing your story. It will make a great book and a wonderful perspective for the all of us to experience.
Please, when you can, write your story for us!
I have been thinking of it. I just do not know how long it would take me to do it. I have many tears to shed just to think of it..my own personal stories are just so minor to others..I praise them each and every time I get a chance to do so. The way humans relate to others is just a wonderful thing to behold when in a tragic situation as being in, let alone the bonding of said nurses to one another. one can never know of such a thing, lest one is there. I have some poetry someday I will share with you on that very thing. If you think things of today are landish, go and see ” a piece of my heart” it is simplay an eyeopener for civilians. I took my daughters to see it once in Memphis in theater. They were spell bound the entire time and afterwards, so many questions….
After a lifetime of scribbling words on paper, I will tell you what I have discovered. It doesn’t matter how long it takes. It is the process. Just as it isn’t the destination, it is the journey. You will find it greatly healing for yourself, and I think you will find it surprising how easily and quickly the words come out. Everyone has their own method of writing, but I have found for myself if I just start anywhere writing about anything that is connected with the subject, it becomes clear at some point there is a type of order to it, it orders itself, if you will. I used to worry a lot about what the beginning was. Once I stopped being concerned about that and just let the words flow, I discovered that it can start anywhere and there is a sort of natural order to it all. Just my experience
And we would love to see your poetry whenever you feel like sharing it.
I have heard that there is an interest among some here to have a discussion about intuition or that thing we call psychic ability or pre-cognition. If there is interest, I will be glad to do a diary about the things I understand of it, and how it is that I have come to understand it as our natural state.
Give me a holler, and we can certainly take a look at it. I have also promised a diary about OBE, where those of us that wish can share our experiences of out of body happenings and possibilities.
There are many topics that we can further discuss if others are interested.
Oh Yes do a diary on that shirl, you know I would say yes.
Yes I do think that is a good idea actually. I know that I can definitely add a few family anecdotes to that one for sure!
as I stumble across this beautiful diary, so forgive me if my sleep-deprived brain hasn’t grasped exactly what you were driving at.
I do agree that our physical health and our emotional/mental health are intricately woven together so that one impacts the other. But I’m not sure I agree with you when you say (paraphrasing)that our degree of health is contained within our personal belief system.
I’m feeling addled right now and need to sleep but I would like you to explain (at your leisure, of course) how this relates to my nephew, Brady.
He is 16 years old and was diagnosed at age 6 with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. This is the most serious of all MD types and the boys inflicted with it seldom live into their 20’s.
His disease quickly progressed so that first he was dependent on a wheelchair to get around but he could still use his legs sparingly and had full use of his arms, trunk, head and neck. Over the next few years he lost much of the muscle tone from his trunk and his spine bent severely forward which made it difficult to sit in his wheelchair and made him very uncomfortable. Breathing was also an issue at this point as you can imagine. He had his spine fused; which is to say that a steel rod was implanted so that he could sit comfortably upright.
A few years ago I moved away from my sister and her son and hadn’t seen them until a month or so ago. I was shocked at how the disease had progressed. He no longer can use his arms or his hands. He has just enough use of his fingers to be able to play his beloved Playstation games if his mom places the controller in his hands and arranges his fingers and thumbs in the appropriate places.
He cannot feed himself. He cannot scratch an itch. He can barely chew so his mom feeds him tiny bits of food and always followed by a sip of water through a drinking straw. Two weeks ago he came down with a cold and fluid built up in his lungs and he couldn’t even cough it up. My sister tried all the gadgets she had on hand, a Bi-pap machine that helps him breathe, an electric vest type thing which shakes the hell out of him for ten minutes at a time to try to dislodge phlegm. A coughing machine. It ws touch and go for awhile. Mind you, this was not pneumonia…just a cold. It’s something like this that will likely cause his death in the not too distant future.
Are you saying that my nephew is sick because his belief system allowed him to be? Are you saying that medical intervention in the form of surgery to aid in sitting up, medical breathing devices, etc., are unnecessary or unwarranted?
There is a huge possibility that I am completely missing what you are trying to say because I am thinking too concretely tonight.
No, of course that is not what I am saying. And I apologize for making a statement that seems so sweeping or generalized as to take in everyone. I see how you could easily get that from how I expressed it. Those of us born in relative health and soundness, and without genetic faults that have a predetermination of physical vitality, do have a great deal that we can use to influence our every day health, and I can minimalize it and say it relies mostly in our attitude. Now that is certainly a potentially deceiving way to say it.
There is nothing that can be said to be “always” or “everyone”, but some things can generally be applied to large numbers of people.
I used to say in my younger life, “I get the damn flu twice every winter, just like clock work.” And I noticed also that there were those around me who said, “I never get the flu.” And I wondered a lot about why that would be when I seemed to be a perfectly healthy young person. I don’t know if I have ever for sure found a definative answer to that question.
Over the years I did come to understand that our subconscious mind can be quiet easily compared to a computer. It takes in information, any information, without making any judgment about its validity. What it takes in, is there. It then becomes a part of our system of perception or beliefs unless we process it and create a larger understanding with more facts or observations.
We program ourselves every day through those thousands of things that we say and or think. . .ie, I get the flue twice every year no matter what. An assumption I based on a couple of years of that happening.
Once I decided I didn’t choose to have the flu twice a year and I stopped accepting that into my reality. I haven’t had the flu but once since.
I could take it to many more such happenings in my life when I made conscious choices about what I would accept in my view of reality. But this is the simplest example if even a frivolous one.
That is what I am rather obtusely getting at.
I love hearing stories like that, Shirl. I think it’s good positive reinforcement to share them, so I’ll tell you a couple of funny ones of mine.
My mom, not usually a very nurturing woman, was always wonderful when I was sick. Chicken soup, 7-Up, cracked ice, saltine crackers, being waited on hand and foot, the whole maternal thing. Well, one day when I was in my 20’s and no longer living at home I realized I was coming down with the flu. “Oh, good,” I thought, “now Mom will take care of me.”
I actually caught myself thinking that! And then I thought with a start, “No, she won’t, because I’m not at home any more!”
And the flu symptoms went away like THAT (snap).
It was eye-opening, let me tell you.
The other story I’ll tell has to do with coffee, of all things. Like most people who love it, I used to switch to decaf at some point in the day, believing caffeine kept me up at night. The one day I was somewhere where a few people were drinking caf-coff late at night and I suddenly thought, “I want to be one of those people!”
I’ve never lost any sleep over caffeine since that moment, and I drink it day long and never hesitate to have it at night, either.
This hasn’t worked all the time! hah. I wish it did. In those two instances what I felt was a flash of clarity and understanding followed by a flood of strong will. If I could just manage the same “prescription” every time. . .!
(Hey, Spellcheck has vanished from my screen. Weird.)
I just loved seeing this:
When I read this, my own mother flashed before my eyes. . .and I thought, “Do they have a handbook somewhere that tells them this is what they should do?” Exactly how my own mother treated me, the soup, the 7-up, the ice, the crackers. . .all of it. Made me smile plenty, I will tell you.
Your experiences are exactly what I am trying in my less than direct way to express. I have seen over and over again in my own life and in the lives of others how this can work. And perhaps it doesn’t always seem to work, but with practice it becomes more and more a part of our ability to be in charge of our lives. Sometimes it takes quite awhile to rearange that thought process, but even with the “big” issues it can work.
Thanks for sharing your stories.
Practice! Yes!! That’s how we get to Carnegie Hall, as they say.
And I keep expecting that invite to Carnegie Hall any day now. . . .LOL!
As I was reading this well thought out and lovely diary, you got me thinking on the “fear” part and the “Death” part.
My mother was diaganosed with Auto-Sominal Dominant Poly-Cystic Kidney Disease. (say that one 3 times fast!) It’s a genetic disease, passed on by my maternal side of the family. Basically your kidney’s lose function over time due to cysts and other factors. The liver gets hit pretty hard as well. It’s not a fun way to die. I watched my grandfather struggle for over 10 years to beat this thing. He had 2 kidney transplants…and both failed. In all cases the patients die of renal faliure. There’s nothing you can do but prolong your demise.
Now to get back on topic here. My mother decided that when she was diagnosed, she wasn’t going to have medical intervention at all. No dialysis. No transplants. Nothing. All I could think of was myself and how I didn’t want to lose her. I tried to convince her to at least see the specialist that she had been referred to. Nothing. It took me about 3 years to realise that this whole issue was my problem. Not hers. She’s not scared of death, she just doesn’t want to live attached to machines. For her it’s a quality of life kinda thing, not quantity. She told me that she never wanted to go through the same thing that my grandfather did. When the time comes, I am supposed to be the one to pull the plug.(She wants to go to hospice when it gets to be that time) And let me tell you, I will move hell or high water to do just that, because it’s her life. Not mine. I am just lucky enough to have her for a mother.
Gosh sorry to ramble on like that…like I said, you got me thinking…
argh typos…
Auto-Somonal…not Sominal
How beautifully you have expressed a very important part of our fear, and our reactions to apparent forthcoming loss of a loved one. A lot of the pain we feel is about our loss. It is much more involved, or may be, in how all of this affects us, not about what our loved one is going through or about their own choices of what they wish to experience.
Brava! to your mother, and I relate totally to her views. I will choose what or any treatment that I have, because there are far worse things in my opinion than dying whenever that time comes.
Bless you for your insights and for being supportive of her choices. She has raised a wonderful daughter that no doubt takes after her mother.
Awww. sniff. Thank you for the kind words. I have to admit though, I do still feel really selfish about my issues. It was really hard for me to come to terms with the fact that my mother was not immortal.
I ended up doing alot of research on this disease, mostly because of her of refusal to seek medical attention and partly because my siblings and I have a 50% chance that we could have it too. I still haven’t decided what exactly I will do if the possibility arises that I have that damn disease as well.
My mother is a very strong woman. There’s no doubt in my mind about that. She’s always been very opinionated, very blunt, and I love her for that. When she looked at me and said “When in the hell are you gonna fuckin’ think about what I want out of my life? Who in the hell are you to decided how I live and die?” I think that’s when I finally got it.
Your mother is a Warrior to be sure!
One of the things I have learned through my own experience and through Hospice and my privilege of working with others making death transition, is that not all are able to be so beautifully honest with their loved ones as your mother has been with you.
Often, the hardest part of this process for the one dying is the feeling that they have to make it easier for their families. They take on that extra concern and worry about how to help their children, spouses and other relatives get through this.
So it has always been my concern that I don’t add to what my loved ones are experiencing in perhaps a painful process. I also always let them know that if they are ready to go, it is all right with me, it is their choice and I am not going to attempt to hold them back even though I want so very much to have them in my life forever. Certainly there is no thought that they need my permission, I just want them to know I am okay with whatever the outcome is, and that as much as I will grieve my own personal loss, it is not my call but theirs.
I am so glad I came to this before my own mother died. I was even able to speak at her funeral, which is something I never would have imagined I could do. It made my own grief much easier to journey through.
Indeed, celebrate the life and the wonderful gifts that life gave to you and how it enhanced the life that you live.
Oh, and you know those family stories. . .every family has them. If you are able, and if you wish to, you might consider getting some conversations with your mom about those stories on a tape or video camera. I have 6 hours of mom telling the family stories that I got on video. What a treasure it is. So glad I had the foresight to do it. And the Grandchildren and great grandchildren have a wonderful opportunity to know her as I did.
Well I have to say that it took quite a bit of time for me and mother to have the relationship that we have today. (to explain all of the sordid details will take a diary…still trying to think that one out) We had a long and difficult road with that one.
And yes, we have already talked about her telling family stories on video and audiotape, so that my son and my niece can get to know the wonderful woman that my mother is and our rich family history.
Yes she is definitely Warrior material, she had to be though. She’s a single parent. 😉
Very nice writing Cake, I agree with you completely and your mother view is nearly like mine. I have made my choice and my children do respect that. I am preparing them for life without me. I have told them that I want to walk to my death or passing with the greatest joy and I want them to share that with me. Not to be afraid to talk about it we do so frequently. I have told them I want them to celebrate my life when I am gone and not feel sad for me for I shall be exceedingly happy.
I also told them I would always be with them in spirit and they would feel my presense all their days until someday I would come to get them and bring them home to me, just as my mother will come to get me.
Oh this is such an interesting diary, I hope we continue this. I have much more to say and I think a lot of us do. Just too tired right now to write more.
It took alot for us as a family to accept the decision that my mother made. When we were growing up, we were always told to tell someone when you are not feeling good. To see the doctor regularly…yada yada. To have her say to us, No medical intervention at all, I have to say that I was crushed. I felt like she was giving up before she even began. Then we did the research. The options are very few. You can maintain a healthy diet (meaning low-protein and low-sodium) and hope for the best, take the medicines that you are prescribed, and still have endstage renal faliure at the end of it all. So I have to say it was with great reluctance that I accepted my mother’s wishes. (god that sounds so horrible doesn’t it?)
And yes I do hope that this conversation continues. It got me thinking about alot of the things that had happened around the time of my mother’s diagnosis.
And thanks for all of the compliments on writing! I normally have such a hard time communicating in the written word. I prefer the phone myself. 😉 But really, I wasn’t setting out to write beautifully, and honestly I will admit it now. I was bawling the whole time I wrote that post! I started to think about the fiasco all over again. It was a very emotional time for my mother and I.
Words written directly from the heart always have an inherent beauty that any attempt to design falls short of.
While I was reading this diary, I thought about my stepfather, who died three years ago. He died of a heart attack (probably), in my backyard while I was away at school. He was 63 years old, and had known that he had heart problems for years, but refused to go to a doctor. He even retired early when his employment required him to go get it checked out to stay on the job.
I still go back and forth between whether he lived his life the way he wanted and that was all there was too it, or whether he was just too afraid to go to a doctor to get something that might possibly have been fixed, fixed. It’s hard for me to believe the former sometimes, especially because he left behind my mother and his then 15 year old daughter. Why would one consciously do that?
But then, whenever I think about it, I remember how he acted in his last several months. He and I never really had gotten along (we were about as opposite as could be), but when I moved back here eight months before he died, he had changed so much (not physically, only mentally). I really do believe that he knew he was going to die, and had accepted it as a fact and tried to live life the best way he could while he could. It’s just a shame that he didn’t let us in on it.
It is a topic too few of us talk about and many, many are torn just as you are feeling.
I frankly believe most of us have a sense of our death. Whether we pay any attention to that or not is something else. Each of us are such individuals, and our life experiences and the things we have learned color how we deal with anything. Persons in my parents generation had a totally different “accepted” behavior about such things. It may very well be that your stepfather felt he was doing things the “right” way. And perhaps he just didn’t know how to talk about it. Some people have a thing about being the object of pity or people becoming overly concerned and fussing over them. There are any number of reasons that he may have felt how he handled it was the best way.
Maybe if you focus more on the changes you saw in him those last months rather than the feeling of him just not wanting to know or afraid to know, and your sense that you would have liked to know more about this changed person rather than the one you couldn’t get along with very well, maybe, that will help you settle it more in your mind.
Celebrate what you can about him and perhaps dwell less on the things that were unpleasant. Your call.
Thanks for the comment, Shirl, and I do focus on remembering him as the man I came to know those last months more than anything else. I can’t tell you how blessed (for lack of a better word) I feel that I did move back here when I did, not only to be here when my mother and sisters needed me the most, but also to get to know him in a light I hadn’t ever seen before. We all have long since come to the conclusion that he wouldn’t have wanted to live his life any other way, and that does provide a good deal of comfort.
I am going to get some sleep now. Thanks to all who have participated in the discussion. If this is still up on the list in the morning and more comments are added, I will chat with you then.
Good night all, and very sweet dreams.
We are always at risk – I try to conquer my fears by reminding myself that anything can happen at any time, everything that lives dies. Today might be that day for me, or somebody I love. All I can do is try to be careful and worthy of this great gift of life. I agree that fear is the key to our political situation.
The Hindus have a similar approach – god dividing him/herself into each living thing thereby to learn through experience. I prefer that concept to that of a master to be worshipped and feared.
Just when the caterpiller thought the world was ending, it became a butterfly.
And perhaps someday, if you were to choose to do so, you might consider that rather than being at risk, we are always divinely protected. There are indeed infinite possibilities in the universe, and truly nothing is written in stone. All is possible. The process of living in the NOW is one that can assist with the knowing that seldom are we aware of how much time we have with anyone here. If we can step out from the burden of fear, and live the moments as they come to us with a sense of realy enjoying and filling those moments, the likelyhood of regrets seems very small.
Each of us pieces of the “Divine.” It seems truly so to me. To encourage the divine within us appears to be the way to living a really joyful and purposeful life.
Thanks for your participation and sharing your thoughts with us.
And I love your butterfly statement. A lovely way to express the truth of it all.
For a beautifully written sharing full of many things I have come to believe also. As an veteran RN, I saw, evey day, the effects on chronic fear on peoples health, immune systems, and inability to heal or adjust well to living with chronic conditions. You just can’t seperate the physical from the emotional and mental and spiritual parts of a human being, and expect the whole to healor improve easily. I believe takes some level integration of all our parts to stay or get well.
I think humans, in general, sadly underestimate their own intrinsic power to heal and grow and change, and are encoiuraged to do so, for example, by pharmaceutical companies who would like us all to believe theres a pill we can take to get rid of painful or uncomfortable symptom we have. Thus, we often do not get to the cause, and only treat symptoms.
For a few years after my spinal injury, I believed the doctors who told me I’d be in a wheelchair within five years. My life all but ended, as I knew it, and I spiraled right down into a serious depression and I did lose function fast. That was in 1983. I am still not in a wheelchair. (Yes, I use a cane, somtimes a walker, and sometimes an elecrtic scooter for distance, but I am not in a freakin wheelchair!) Because I finally got mad enough to fight back, at first, then got entranced with the idea of power of my own expectation or intent. If I expected my life to be nothing but disability and sadness, well, I knew that one worked! So what if I expected it to be a good one, in spite of the injury and focused on figuring out ways to stay mobile and fully alive? The power of the mind to affect the body, is simply awesome, when claimed.
But no, I don’t think we can always cure everything with the mind, either, nor so I think that people who are ill are neessarily lacking in strengh, or faith. I think that some conditions and illnesses have purposes we cannot see or fathom. But I also believe that wihtin each of us, there is a vast amoount of power to affect the course of our own lives, health wise and every other way, that often remains untapped.
Also, there is so much profit to be made from people who feel powerless and fearful, so of course this will encouraged in market based economy.
you are most assuradly correct there, Shirl. The power of ones own mind is the most unused medicine ever. The spirit within ourselves is overlooked by many professionals. I have seen it work many times for many conditions and work just fine. To stimulate this power we have within our ownselves is a hard thing to rouse from ppl who do not think or care about it. AS to say, yes, I have seen miracles on a daily basis, some in the most rare of all, but to give birth is one of them and I cherish/celebrate each birth as one. I know it seems almost simplistic to even say that, but it is just that. And that is just one of them that I have seen.
Life within it’s self is sometimes so deep and complexed that we just never know what is there for us to take advantage of. Many book have been written and will be written on this topic. They will be written in may ways and for many reasons. That just goes to show how wonderful life is.
In some instances when one is confronted with the fact that one is in the trenches of death, most of us are taught to believe not to fear for I am with you, so sayeth the Lord. Yes that has to be held onto for our own sakes. It teachs us to not fear. I think when it comes down to the wire, I personally will not fear death, for that is the ultimate risk of life.
As a nurse I have come across many religions and I must respect each of them, even those who do not believe in anything at all. I know the enevitable is going to happen to each of us. To make it as much of a comfortable experience as posible is my desire for my humankind.
It is that living in the between time that is the hard part. What does one do with healing illness? What does one do with their religous beliefs in that process. I am afraid that this debate will still be going on for as long as there are ppl around and with their religious feelings. I have just made up my mind to give to them my respect and allow them to think and do with their lives as they seem fit. I will not get into the fight of certain things..for I am not legal in that respect, I am just another human trying my best to say, you are not alone out here and if you want to discuss anything,,and I mean that, anything with me, I will listen. We can talk. Maybe answer some questions, maybe realize that there are questions that can never be answered, too.
But to some, I do have expertiese in some areas of my chosen profession. To those who do chose things like hemodialysis, I can guide them and help them in many of their decisions to be made. Decisions to be made that will help them to make that life a better life with the quality they want, is what this is all about. Many factors have to be taken into mind when one does this reshaping ones life for making those decisions.
To decide on what one wants is the necessary process that must take place. For some that is a very hard thing to do,for some it is not. I personally feel if one has in ones mind what one want, then to put that down in a legal form will certainly help in the process of making decisions, for the others left to decide for us. A living will and a durable power of attorney is most neccessary nowadays, for all the legal realities are very much there for us all, from the time we are born to the time we die. My mother had one and this was when it was just begining to be used, and I was relieved with making many uneasy decisions, that I would otherwise loose sleep over and maybe even regret, who would know. At least she had the forthought to decide for herself what she wanted. My middle child did not have one and I still had no decision in things in her death process. Hers was a much different situation. I still question in my mind about things, cuz I was not there with her during this process, which hurts deeply, just simply to have her know she was not alone in the death process. For she did die alone…one of the things I refused to let stranges do and now my daughter had to do that very thing alone. My heart aches daily over that one!
I suppose I am just one of those who says to you, who ever you are, you have the right to decide for yourself, whatever you want. I will not try to change your mind, in that I mean I respect your decision. If you chose to go the way of which my profession gives other alternitives, I will be there for YOU the patient and I will advocate for YOU the patient, for that is my creed, always has been and always will be, for as long as I practice my nursing profession to the best of my ability, always.
I expect to learn so much from you all here on your thoughts and desires and reasonings of what YOU want. This broadens my enlightment on how I can still give more to you, the patient/friend.
Remembering all the time, Please, I am human, as well.
We can go though life holding hands, sharing and giving and taking as we travel. Again it is called compassion and respect, and probably much more to whom ever you are. We each have a story in life, othewise we would be dead. NOw share with me your life so I might learn from you. I yearn for that on a daily basis.
Thank you for your chosen profession, as I said To Brenda, I say to you that you are much admired and high on my list of those I look up to.
I agree very much with your statements about the profit motive in medicine. I think it makes for less quality of health care.
And Brava! for your strong will and choosing to determine as much as possible how you will live with your injuries. I could not agree more with your statement:
My situations have been nowhere as serious as your injury, but defeating Graves Disease and resultant heart problems was wonderful for me. And even though the medical people would tell you that my xrays of both knees show considerable ostio-arthritis and no cartelege. I chose not to have the knee replacements, and I went from horrendous pain to no pain, plenty of mobility, and a condition I refuse to have as a part of my reality. So it has worked wonderfully for me. What anyone else chooses as their course of action is the right thing for them.
Thanks so much for sharing your story with us. You are another one that could certainly present a wonderful book of your experiences if you wished to.
Thanks. I do admire you for your innermost determination and that strong will. I think you ahve found that river of life that you will forever be a living constribution of. I have learnd in such a very short time here online from so many and that is you too. I can now go onward in my quest to be who and what I am, fearing not for anything but not getting as much as I need my life.. There is so much mroe I would love to do..and like the poster below, I say, I have lives life so that if I die right now, I feel I can say in my spirit of things, I did well with what I did. The irony of it is we just never know what will happen for any of us. I admire you strength…You are wonderful, as an example of that.
Thanks for your kind words. You know I spent a lot of time during this life trying to understand what my purpose here might be. Until one day I had one of those DUUH moments. . .complete with the slap on the forhead. It can be as big and as inclusive as I choose it to be with all of its intracacies, but the whole of it is the job I have chosen: To encourage everyone in the life they have chosen. Reflect to them the beauty I see in them. And offer a hand should they need it.
So something I never wanted to be in high school or college. . .I have become the worlds biggest cheerleader!
LOL
Well said, I did well with what I did.
I agree with you wholeheartedly about the idea that fear is a motivating factor. And that each of us must follow our own path, find what works for us and, ideally, continually grow and learn.
I just wanted to say that, to me, the idea that “this one lifetime is all there is” is the most liberating concept I have found. I consider myself an existentialist, but not in the dark, brooding, “life sucks and then you die” vein.
I am constantly amazed by this world. I feel deeply connected to the earth, and the other inhabitants of the earth. What happens after I die? Well, as far as I can tell, I ‘ll never know. Perhaps I’ll be reincarnated, but I have no conscious awareness of it. Perhaps nothing happens, except the glorious cycle of nutrients returning to the earth to nourish the next generation.
But fear of death goes away for me when I feel that I have lived this lifetime fully. When I feel that I have done more good than harm. If I knew I was going to die tomorrow, I would feel regret for the things I have not yet done and seen, but at the same time I would know that tomorrow, regret would disperse along with my life.
super, I happen to agree with you. I love the way you put it. It gives me lots more to be thankful for as well…good to have you onboard here. enjoy your stay….
Well said, Super. You seem to have a very good handle on how it works best for you and I honor that. Whatever it may be that comes beyond this life, a big something, or a nothing. . .what we have charge of and ability to do is live this one as if it were all we have. You seem very much that you are doing just that. Bravo!
I just had a conversation with my son which leads me to write this…His livein girlfriend had an auto accident which resulted in rod in her upper thigh and two pins to attach, I don’t know more details than that about her injury. The injury occurred about 5 years ago but she sufferes from pain in her leg frequently including the present.
My son just doesn’t know what to do with her, for her, when she is in these painful periods.
She has let her insurance lapse, cannot afford to have pins removed, takes pain pills and prefers vicodin, is overweight which doesn’t help her leg I would think.
A doctor suggested she try pain management clinics, but she has not persued that due to financial considerations.
I am not sure what here belief systems are regarding pain, illness, healing, etc. are but tend to think it is narrow rather than wide. Strong Christian background.
So what I need is both medical and spiritual advice for both my son and her. My son needs to know in particular how to deal with someone in constant pain, he is 25 and she is 24. She also has a constant cough which seems not to be able to be treated for several years now.
I do feel bad for my son who has to listen to the coughs day and night, so does anyone have suggestions for that.
Spiritual and medical advice is what I need for sure, await the responses…..Love ya all…hugs…
I am pretty sure you know my suggestions. Breathing and meditation. Psychologically one of the best things we can do for ourselves is to get out of ourselves. Change our focus from “me” centered to “other” centered. Constant unrelenting pain is a very difficult thing to handle. I know, as you do Diane. Breathing helps a lot. Meditation helps a lot more. Getting outside of yourself helps very much. If she is not open to those things, then she will have to find her own source of relief. I understand the need and the desire for the pain pills, but in my experience they really do more harm than good unless they are a short term use.
Ice is one of the greatest pain relievers I ever used. She might try ice packs. The cough will be helped a great deal with breathing properly. (or she could use your and my solution. . .have another cigarette. . .LOL)
Hugs to your son for being so caring. Yet he might want to consider how much responsibility he takes on that doesn’t really belong to him.
agreed with everything said. However, the rod and pin need to be examined as to position and need to be ther at all, anymore. I feel for them both. It is so sad to be uninsured these days. Have they thought of a free clinic of sorts? Is there any help from their Christian church? Just some thoughts here..she really is dependent on meds like vicodan..not good either..maybe pain is more need rather than of stimulus of something gone wrong. pain management is very difficult, but she is way toooooo young to have this medicine thing go on in her life. My prayers and heart go out to them and you too..shows your human concern.
oh was just thinking, who is it that keeps renwing the Rx of the vicodan? They need to be refreshed as to why the pt needs this. Give more to thought than just your question, to begin with….Interesting to say the least..
Brenda, I was hoping you would respond. Since writing the comment and showing my son he was a little upset that I wrote about she prefers vicodin, he said she does not but it helps. I was just trying to show her state which I confess I do not know fully, we are not too close, she and I.
She has been to the local free clinic and they referred her back to her original doctor who initially treated her, but that is out of her means at this point.
The doc. also said that removing may or may not help and could make it worse.
Also referred her to pain mgt. center, but don’t think she has money for that.
Would you care to email me directly as some of the issues I do not want to discuss on public boards for obvious reasons…
Thanks so much for your response…..
done…watch for it..
This was the gift of life I was given, from those who came before me. I hear those same tenets in your diary and the comments of others here. I feel that you cherish your life, honor your living, fear not your death and walk in the moments given us each day. I have been blessed in this life, with many great teachers and married a remarkable teacher, who keeps me in the moment. I have found that my efforts to put forth positive energy toward an issue or problem creates an atmosphere of positive solutions. I do not always make that a first choice, but eventually get around to it. I have no fear of death, for it is but one aspect of the cycle of life. If I left this world today, I would be saddened that my children has so little time with me, yet I would be happy that they had what I was able to give them in such a short time. I have a few health issues, mainly caused by my abuse of myself and my body, yet there is healing within my body also. My spiritual well being has become directly linked to my physical well being and I have made incredible strides forward healthwise.
Thank you for this wonderful diary and thank all of you for your comments. I hope that each of you find the peace and contentment that each of you so richly deserve, simply because you are who you are today.
this means a lot to me as a human in the cycle of life that we share. Wonderful to have you as a friend in such a journey. You are very fortunate as many of us really are, but just do nto realize it.
with a teeming assortment of lives and living beings. Some bring into our lives a full richness of the greatness in the gift of calling themselves a human being.
Others who have little or no enlightment, bring discord and disonance into our lives, yet also bring richness into our lives with that disonance. To seek the greatness and beauty of all beings is the gift that I seek.
Knowing that I have only begun the journey brings freshness and openness to my soul. I am a seeker, I hope to always be a seeker of truth, honesty, compassion, dignity, honor and most of all being true to these principles that I choose to live by in this world. Your gift of friendship and the gift of friendship I have received from so many here is the most sacred gift that any human being can receive. I thank all of you for that great gift.
Ghostdancer, thank you for sharing your beautiful understandings with us. You add so much to my life and I appreciate it more than I can say. I think a lot of folks here feel the same way.
I echo your sentiment, may all find the peace, joy and health in their lives that is their birthright.
for your kindness. I will always receive more than I can every give back in this wonderful life. I have been given so much here, offered friendship, trust and dignity. Those gifts are the most precious ones I can ever receive and I thank all of you for them. You all have written wonderful diaries that have helped me to grow, open myself to others opinions that I do not hold myself and given me an opportunity to share what I feel is also important from my perspective. Thank you again for allowing me to be a part of your lives and this community.
Or do I mean “Don’t let my dogma bite your karma”??
Many years ago, back when I was trying to make sense of the world, and not getting very far with conventional religion, I spotted a book that my science class student-teacher was carrying around for a psych class.
The book was Many Mansions, by Gina Cerminara. (A search at alibris.com for Cerminara brought up lots of used copies for $2.95 & shipping.)
That single book has had more impact on my life than any other.
For example, since reading it, suicide has simply NOT been an option for me. At least not as long as my body remains healthy. I haven’t ruled it out as a way to exit with dignity at a time very close to an inevitable natural end, but otherwise–no.
Ever since then, I have had a working philosophy which permits the existence of an all-knowing, all-powerful, and all-loving God. It doesn’t PROVE that existence–but it provides a framework where such a God is POSSIBLE.
You might call it a theology of Christian reincarnation.
I’d also like to recommend another of her books: Insights for the Age of Aquarius. Despite its really dated title, Insights can be incredibly helpful for people who struggle with conventional religion. One chapter alone–a fable about the growth and development of a hypothetical religion after the death of its founder–is worth the price of the entire book.
If a reader of this thread is tempted to take a few theological potshots at shirl, I would strongly recommend reading one or both of Cerminara’s books first. It’s always a good idea to know something about the other person’s framework before trying to knock it down.
Thanks Coleen for your input and the book suggestions. Can’t believe there are actually two of them I missed. And you gave me the best laugh of the day so far with your “theological potshots” remark. Honey, trust me I have been hit by the howitzers, the 50mm’s, if not the suicide bombers, over the course of the years.
Actually the concept of reincarnation was one of my biggest obstacles. Until one day it finally got through my thick skull that it is not in the manner that is commonly talked about at all. (I have had so many Duuh moments in this life. . .a constant source of laughter for me). Once I finally got a more clear perspective of that, it made perfect sense to me, and I have no problem understanding why some people find it such an utterly not for them concept, it was that way for me for quite a long time.
My truth is that there is a much greater picture than we seem able to accept and comprehend here. Within that greater picture there is room for all levels of understanding and all manner of beliefs. The mistaken thought (IMO) that there is ONE GREAT TRUTH out there that all must fall in line with or be “lost” is one of humankind’s greatest misunderstandings. There are always greater and greater truths to be uncovered, and it is for sure an eternal process. We are evolving beings in an evolving universe, and if we believe in an
All knowing all powerful “God” or creator energy, as I do, we have also an evolving God. What? If God is all knowing then how can God be evolving? I say, how can God not be ever evolving. It defies the nature and order of all creation that that would not be the case.
Truly, whatever makes your heart sing, fills you with joy and leads you to a purpose filled life. . .that is indeed a path for you to journey upon. I have no need to challenge what you believe or how you choose to believe it. I have no mission to change any one’s mind or convince them that my way is the better way. It is the better way for me, and that is as it should be.
Thanks again Coleen, you seem to have a way of always getting me to spout off more words than intended. And if you haven’t read her diary yet of Verbal self-defense, you might want to go look at it. Just click on the link in her comment above.
Hugs
Shirl