Some days are just too much to handle. For me, this is one of them.
- I scan the news online and find a story written after the bombing of Nagasaki that was censored by the US military and is just now being released to the public – the story of the mysterious Disease X.
- I read a touching account and a warning written by Ron Kovic, Vietnam veteran and subject of the movie Born on the 4th of July about the parallels between the Iraq and Vietnam wars and the effects on the veterans.
- I watch CNN’s Wolf Blitzer’s Late Edition where the poll question is whether the detention facility at Guantanamo Bay should be closed, despite the fact that Halliburton has just been awarded a $30 million contract to rebuild it. Wolf forgot to mention that.
- I find an AP story that details how the FBI promoted personnel based solely on their leadership skills, ignoring their lack of knowledge about terrorism after 9/11.
- I watch an interview with Curt Weldon (R-PA) who is promoting his new book in which he purports to prove that Osama bin Laden is in Iran – based on the intel provided by an Iranian who has already been discredited by the intelligence community. And I continually remain concerned about all of this saber rattling directed towards Iran. Then I read that Porter Goss says that he has an “excellent” idea about where OBL is and it’s not in Iran, Mr Weldon.
- I see Condaleezza Rice touted as the mistress of Middle East peace between the Israelis and Palestinians and have absolutely no trust or confidence in her efforts.
- I see the US military conducting air strikes in Afghanistan, killing 15-20 militants when I thought that war was supposed to be over and I worry about the Canadian peacekeepers over there.
- I read about yet another suicide bombing in Iraq that has killed 23 people and wounded 36.
- I find that Rush Limbaugh is selling Club Gitmo t-shirts.
- I visit antiwar.com daily and read the stories about each American soldier who has died.
- I read daily about the abuses of power foisted on the American people by the Republican party and I see no way to hold them accountable with the GOP in control of every branch of government.
I can count my blessings. I can recognize that I’m exhausted. I can realize that after weeks of rain and flooding, the sun is shining and I can once again go outside for a while. I can go back to sleep. I can have a good breakfast. I can change the channel. I can take a day off from reading the news. I can turn off the TV. I can read a book. I can watch a movie.
What I can’t handle is that I have those choices, while so many millions of others must live through all of what’s going on and that they have no escape.
That is my sorrow.
While the talking heads and pundits enjoy their political gamesmanship, my thoughts are with those who suffer daily as a result of America’s foreign and domestic policies.
Thanks for posting this, Catnip. Immensely sad indeed. It makes me both thankful for everything I have in my life, and ashamed for any petty whining I engage in.
Speaking of issues of international importance – did anyone watch the rebroadcast of the DSM meeting on C-Span Friday night? I’m wondering if it was just me (and my tinfoil hat), or whether some of the speakers’ comments were censored. I ask this because several of the speakers had comments blocked out. The first time it happened, we thought there was a little blip in the video tape. But then it kept happening over and over, and seemed to occur mostly when names were being mentioned. Anyone else notice that?
I watched it on Friday nite but didn’t notice that. You can refer to the live trascriptions I did to see if anything was missed on Friday, but those transcriptions certainly didn’t contain the full record so…
take a walk, and look around you, see what mother nature has provided, even after all the flooding, there will new things sprouting from this.
take some time off, for empathy is a great blessing, and a somewhat heavy burden, if you let it ; )
Thank you. I did some of that yesterday. I wish I was feeling well enough physically to get out and lend a hand to those hit by the floods here in Calgary this past weekend. Unfortunately, all I can offer is moral support.
Hi catnip, I’m glad to see you here. I was just over in the cafe asking if anyone had any info about you. I’ve been watching CBC coverage this morning – OMG. Are you and your house OK?
Thanks. Yes, I’m fine. Some communities around mine experienced flooding, but the house I live in is okay. I remember living in a house as a youngster that ended up with a flooded basement almost every time we had a heavy rain and all of the work involved in cleaning it up. That was nothing, however, compared to some of the flooding in my area right now.
We’re still under a state of emergency as are surrounding towns. This isn’t over yet and other towns are now bracing for new flooding as well. This is really unprecedented.
Hi Catnip!
I didn’t know you were in Calgary. I lived through the floods on the Missouri River in Kansas City in 1993. That was an amazing and humbling display of the power of nature. Hopefully your floods will not be that severe.
I’ve been wondering what the political / social situation in Alberta is “really like” from someone “on the ground” there. I’ve heard glib remarks about Alberta being the “Texas of Canada” but also that the cities are more progressive. also heard that even a “Canadian Texas” would be liberal by US standards. So can you expand on the situation there both province-wide and in Calgary and Edmonton? How much influence do the energy industries there have on local and provincial politics, environmental enforcement, etc.?
If you think this is too off-topic, feel free to email me or post a separate diary.
With continued best wishes for your recovery,
D in K
Our flood situation is nowhere near what happened in Kansas in 1993. Past flooding in Manitoba is probably more comparable. We haven’t even begun to measure the costs of the flooding here yet since we’re still under a state of emergency. AFAIK, no one has died from the flooding here, but thousands have been evacuated. This has struck many areas of the province of Alberta and it’s far from being over.
As for the Texas North comparison, I could certainly do a separate diary – but it won’t be today. š I’ll work on it for you though.
Thank you for a well written and thought provoking diary Catnip. I can totally understand your feelings of overload and frustration. Some days I wonder if I can bare to read the news and then I realise I must not let down for one minute. I have been working my anger and frustration out by excercising and long walks. It has helped me to keep on fighting the good essential fight.
On my way to work this morning I caught an “I Believe” essay on NPR by a listener who is a farmer in Missouri. It was really good and really touching. If you are interested you can probably find it on the NPR website.
It was about the 50% rule on how half the time things are worse than normal and half the time things are better. How it’s important not just to know that fact, but to realize which half you are currently in. It was very well written and I was impressed and touched.
It was quite an insightful bit of introspection after a beautiful weekend spent with family. But it is also an interesting thought process to think about America in terms of the 50% rule. We are most certainly in the “worse half” today, but that just means thing will get better, because they have to.
I found the essay. Thank you.
Thank you catnip, for you have touched upon what Native peoples have felt for generations. Yet through it all, the native people have continued forward, always looking ahead to that day of days. When the wrongs of the world will be righted and a once fiercely proud people will know the freedoms that other Americans claim as their birthright.
That the reichwing is making more than half of this country begin to question its motives and modus operandi is exhilirating. Yet it should scare the other half as well. The time has come for all Americans to call for a total and completely independent investigation into the criminal behavior of our current administration and its lackey’s in the Congress and the media.
I read in other places that some lefties think talking about impeachment is just a waste of time because, according to them, it isn’t going to happen under this power structure. What do you think?
I think if enough people band together, start making change with the next election cycle, take control of the house and the senate, show the reichwing that the American people are sick and tired of the lies and outright destruction of our rights. Then the talk of impeachment will come to fruition. That Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld and the other Fascists that have wreaked havoc upon our nation’s soul will be made to pay for their crimes not only against their fellow citizens, but for their crimes against humanity.
I think Condi’s being groomed for the “great stateswoman” mantle. I’m starting to wonder if she’s not going to be on the ballot in 2008 as R-VP, with Jeb at the top of the ticket…
Now there’s a nightmare of a ticket.
That it even is contemplated scares me.
I don’t think it’s just contemplated, I think it’s likely – if not 2008, then 2012. Condi’s willing to follow orders, and is a minority and female – perfect for trying to browbeat women and minorities into line. And she’s got some international policy experience (State) and some domestic policy experience (Terrorism), which nicely makes up for whatever Brainless Bush winds up at the top of the ticket.
The only reason I can see her and a Brainless Bush not winding up running in 2008 is if the Republican Big Giant Heads decide they want to give McCain enough rope to hang himself with…
Speaking as a minority woman-Condi Rice will never get my vote, because of her policy positions.
And, the only Bush I’ll ever be voting for, in my lifetime, is which one to plant in my yard for color!
I find that ticket as onerous as any I could imagine.
What makes Condi a good diplomat? The ease with which she lies, waffles, stonewalls; her total conviction that there is only one side to the story – and that is the George Bush story and the George Bush version.
It just strains credulity that these people get away with what they do. Mr. Goss knows where Mr. Bin Laden is? Well, what is he waiting for?
I was glad to see you had written about this. No matter what goes on in my life – good, bad, indifferent – there is always this malaise present. The Something in Iraq, Guantanamo, the idiocy in Washington. What will they come up with next to try to distract us?
Good diary, Catnip.
“No matter what goes on in my life – good, bad, indifferent – there is always this malaise present. The Something in Iraq, Guantanamo, the idiocy in Washington.”
You hit the nail on the head of how I’ve felt since 2000.
In addition to the general stuff that we all are aware of – Iraq, Guantanamo, etc. – as someone who has worked in the environmental field for 22 years, I feel like everything I’ve spent my career on is slowly being washed away like sandcastles as the tide comes in. Some days I just want to scream at the top of my lungs!
As Al Stewart put it:
And where I’m going I hardly know
It surely wasn’t like this before but
Oh, every time I look around
I feel so low my head seems underground
Well every day just seems to bring bad news
Leaves me here with the Post World War Two Blues
At least at the frog pond I can find kindred spirits to boost my mood, or at least commiserate.
Can we draw more attention to the Rush Limbagh t-shirts. They these guys have the audacity to charge the left of moral relativism..
Media Matters has covered it, so the word is getting out to those who care about these things. A Google news earch shows that Limbaugh’s shirts aren’t getting much attention at all. That has its good and bad connotations. Where’s the outrage?
Why not just wear a t-shirt that says:
Club Nuremberg
Dieting, Drugs, and heat to die for!
That is what the idiot, and his minions, are advocating. A glorification of torture and death! Let me say it again- making fun of TORTURE and DEATH!
I worry about this country when our collective judgement is so piss poor that everything is fodder for our bumper sticker mentality!
What will it take to get this idiot of the air? How far is too far? That for me crosses any line of moral decency.
Can you image the outrage if Iraqis had t-shits that said:
Help Americans leave Iraq
Blow em’ all to hell!
Rush would bust a blood vessel, and the screed would be heard from coast to coast! Why is his act acceptable? I want him off the air! What an idiot! Thank God he belongs totally and completely to the wingnuts! What an albatross!
And, to add insult to injury, he’s heard on Armed Forces radio – in Iraq.
Dear God help us…..and our poor troops!
I feel ya Catnip. Hang tough. Go for a long walk, watch the sunrise/sunset, anything to revitalize.
Perhaps Rush needs extra $$$ for a future defense against his nasty drug habit.
So true about the number and content of stories today.
One way of getting around the feeling of choices when others seem not to have choices is to use yours more effectively. With any luck, then, all the hard work ceases to feel like work (and you then cease to hear how much a nice vacation/break would be), and you would continue to do what needed to be done. Indefinitely, if necessary.
A short story illustrates this point, but uses money as the ‘choice’. I am summarizing: in this story a dervish moves into this small village and they are happy to have him, because dervishes are known to give good advice but not for capital gain. They know other villages that have dervishes have done well. So they set up a small house on the outskirts of the village, feed him, and over the years things go well. This is a poor village, but at one point the village leaders get together and decided that the most honest person they know, the dervish, should be given their savings to use wisely for mankind (which took literally years to accumulate). They present him with the bag of coins, he acknowledges it, puts it inside his small house, and never speaks of it again.
At this point, many villagers come forward and say they never actually trusted him (and say he took the money for himself), others say he is so much like God that a mere human could not expect to know what he was doing with the money, and others don’t care.
He dies, they tear down his house to make a park where people can try to find quiet, and in the process see the bag of coins. It has a note that says the dervish was never good with money, so he didn’t do anything with it.
*
One of the points of the story is the fact that, if you are not good with money, you won’t be able to use it effectively. You may not steal it, but there is something better than that, right? Many things in your life, not only money, but time, energy, connections, etc. can be viewed with an eye on their best use, not just their (current, accepted, habitual) use. And finding the best use of one’s gifts is always an antidote to the feeling described in the diary and comments.