I am putting up this diary in response to a conversation I have been having with brinnaine on the Live blog of the armed services hearing. I am diarying this because I think these are things that need to be talked about with the larger group and I think many of you will have things to add or comments to make to this and that is what I am looking for here…
It’s not so much that I feel that we have gotten there or that it couldn’t be worse, it’s that we LEARN NOTHING. As a seeker and a teacher that is what makes me cry.
Diane101:
Yes we learn nothing, truer words were never spoken..
To me this is like watching a replay of 40 years ago, as well as a replay of 20 or 10 years ago..
Hawks vs. Doves, the eternal struggle…
Policy on intervention, on non intervention, policy of nation building, or not… it is totally circular…and I don’t know why.
One of the problems is that younger people are just not fully aware of what occurred before, sure they may know it intellectually but not emotionally, having not been present at the time of history being made. and not having suffered along with us the oldsters. I am sure that the same was so with my grandparents with regard to me and my generation. If they were here now, I often wonder what they would say..what they would think, I personally think they would be very disappointed…at present state of affairs.
Do you mind if I ask you to share, the emotion part with me?
Right now I feel so lost, I hug my kids, my husband, I revel in their good health, their very exisitance, I try to be a good person, to make a difference, and to care, but I feel torn up inside, like I need to do more, change something more…oh, I don’t know what I’m talking about, really. I just feel sad, so very sad. I will not despair and I will get over it but at this moment, my tears are paralyzing me.
Thank you so much for engaging — I really need hear that I am not going crazy! 😉
Diane101:
WEll I will try, this is my memory of the past.
I’ll start with Kennedy, I was about 19 and newly married with one child. We of my generation were so happy that we finally had a president we could identify with and life was very good and peaceful for a brief time…Then came the assination. Our country and every one in it that was old enough to know what was happening was plunged into deep depair, for our country and for our future. We were in mourning and that lasted for a very long time.
On the heels of this came Vietnam and all of the attendant problems most notably of which was how it affected each family in the US in a personal way, as the war escalated. Then the draft and the lottery…My family, my friends, everyone I knew was living in fear of either being drafted or losing a loved one.
That war dragged on and on with full reporting and coverage of deaths and dying, on both sides. We saw the bodies of soldiers and citizens.
Then came Nixon and we were so hoping he would bring our troops home, people were in the streets, mass demonstrations, all over the news.
Watergate…eventually led to resignation of Nixon, and a whole bunch of the powers were consigned to prison.
But our country was once again or still in mourning.
Many of us oldsters are still in mourning from our past and as we see the present and future unfolding in this way we cannot help but remember, and that’s why many knew this whole war game all too well. We could see the progression it would take, and it did..
The only truly safe time I personall ever felt since my childhood, was the Clinton Years, and that of course was marred by allthe scandal and prevented Clinton from doing more in my opinion..
Let’s discuss!!
I have never quite felt this way before, and I know hearing stories from people I respect will help me with this struggle.
I feel bad for feeling bad, you know? I don’t want anyone to think I am feeling sorry for myself, I’m not. I know that even with the things I face, I have no reason at all to feel sorry for myself. It’s more like I am overdosing on empathy, but I cannot stop myself. Did that make any sense?
I want to hold on to some semblance of hope that humans DO have the capacity to learn, and to EVOLVE, but it is getting harder and harder every day…
I just ahd a computer fit, usually happens when I watch a hearing on cspan..
Don’t feel bad for feeling bad, we all do, feel bad, that is the natural order of things.
My point in what I have said is that we have been through far worse in some ways previously, and far better in other ways.
Not to say this is not the worst regime the world has ever seen, but still there is hope.
Hope over fear.
It’s unnatural to feel good all the time or that life is going along ok at all times.
Sometimes people are sad for specific reasons(death of loved one, divorce and so on) and people can understand that. What is harder to understand I guess for many people is how anyone can feel very sad when nothing in your life is going wrong..or you could become that sad over something like the political landscape.
This is all my personal opinion but I found that when I am hit with a ‘feeling sad'(and many times angry due to the politics)group of days instead of trying to talk myself out of it I will go with it and rather wallow in it, really get it all out.(but not take it out on anyone else). As long as it doesn’t continue for more than several weeks/months I see it now as more of a time to allow myself to feel blue/sad and for me this somehow gets me over these sad days sooner. This has nothing to do with depression or anything but the normal flow of life I believe.
There’s nothing wrong with being sad at all or making yourself feel guilty that you are. I also think there is something to everyone’s own personal internal body rhythm that causes ups/downs for no apparent reason-rather like the tides.
I have no idea if this will help you any but this is what I’ve figured out for myself that works for me.
For myself also I have days where I alternate between anger, despair, more anger and at times such a real sadness when I read the certain blogs about Iraq or what is happening to poor people here in this country. It just seems so overwhelming but the alternative is to give up and retreat into some little fantasy world of my own yet I know that’s not the answer. Days of sadness usually end with a mini rant somewhere here on bootrib for me…and that does help.
Many of those things sound familiar! Thanks, CI — I did need that!
It’s good to know that I am not alone! Thanks for taking the time to write all of that out!
Brin
I think all of us who have any compassion or concern for our fellow humans goes through exactly what you are experiencing. Sometimes I am overwhelmed with the unbelievable lack of progress of peoples on this planet, overwhelmed to the point of tears streaming down my cheeks. I am angry, disappointed, deeply saddened that humans cannot seem to take that small step into understanding the inter-connectedness of each of us and everything of and in the earth. That there is such an apparent lack of ability to get outside of our small selves and see that what affects one of us affects all of us ultimately.
And then I breathe deeply a few times and set my intent with great determination that I will do whatever it takes to be a part of the solution and not a part of the problem. I also recall with great frequency the wisdom of the Light metaphor: When you open the door to a dark room, the light rushes in to overcome the darkness. Never does the darkness rush in to extinguish the light. It is my desire, my drive, my passion to keep my little candle burning to add to the light of millions of other candles all across the earth.
I allow myself the sadness, the weariness, the discouragement, the tears and when it begins to ease I take myself into the Greater Light and do what I can to illumine the person/opportunity right in front of me, if only for a brief moment. Bringing forth Light is a cumulative endeavor, none of it is ever lost. And that continues to fuel my faith and my hope.
Listen to your heart. . .in the deepest sense, your heart is always right.
We can use this diary…for live blogging..
And now I will go beserk trying to listen to both…
Which two are you watching??
I am watching cspan 2 where Kennedy is giving a response to hearings, and stating all that was left out of hearing….or wrong assertations of the hearing…
and I am watching the house hearings . armed services on cspan 3..
I think this is most interesting, Kerry just asked for time later today to speak..energy bill on floor now, but kep your eyes on this, senate floor…I think it may get hot in their today…
Zander what are you doing, we ned you here to help with live blogging…of house hearings, sometimes these get pretty interesting.
sorry – was sidetracked with Rove (sick fascination with the man) – and it’s not often you have the opportunity to grab screen shots of him…
Get out of photo shop and back to the trenches, Rove will go down in due time, remember that all of his words spoken can be used against him when his trial comes to court in the future. I want him to speak out often, say many things, that can be used to hang him, when the time comes….
I would like to see Rove come before house hearing, this unelected man running Bushco…How about demanding that..to our congress.
Abazaid is explaining how the insurgents are more concerned about democaracy in Iraq than about occupation.
Yeah they hate freedom, don’t they….
when asked a question about acquisition of spplies, says we are still working on it,,,,after all these years.
Rep Meehan says polls in Iraq says people are against occupation. He is asking about draw down of troops, why can’t we state that we are drawing down, send a message us does not wnat to stay there.
Tune in please and blog here, do I have to do it myself…these are even better than the Senate hearing…they are discussing foot print in ME..abazaid say we should not have large foot print.
I am watching but I don’t know how long I am going to last — they are not asking ANY of the questions that need asking.
Nothing specific is coming out of this hearing, just like the other one and I can’t stand looking at Rumsfeld’s sneer and his little claw-like hand gestures….
I have trouble listening to them all, this is one of many of have watched, trying to keep food and my temper down..But these hearing are almost the most important thing that goes on in congress and the house side is always a little different than the Senate…Time limits on house side make the discussion more pointed and less grandstanding…
BTW I fell asleep last night with hearings on replay last night as I do many nights, and woke up at 3 in the morning to that sight. Oh my..not good for going back to sleep.
Well at lease keep me company here Bri, k..
Will do — I’ll keep your company anytime, anywhere!!
Sitting here though, it ocurrs to me that I have heard many, many congresscritters talk about their trips to Iraq and elsewhere in the ME — how much is sending these people over there costing us??
Oh, my GODDESS the waste of resources!!
think it is a good thing all the congress members go over there to see for themselves, the cost is minimal compared to all the other costs…
I think every single member should go to Iraq, and often, and visit all the prisons and bases. Get out of the green zone and look around at the people, if they dare…
Yeah, but how many of them DO actually leave the Green Zone?
And I consider it a waste of resources if they can’t manage to see what we see from waaay over here…
I think many do leave green zone, as I heard many say in this and past hearings, some have talked about traveling with units to combat areas.
Ifnone had gone we would not even have the tiny outcry we have today in congress.
Be that as it may had we not had this unfortunate and illegal war there would be no necessity.
Too much money wasted to be sure, all around the whole deal..but then waste seems to be the middle name of congress and bushco…
becuase they come back with the same old BS questions and don’t challenge anything these asshats say..
Bottom line assessment?
Casey – said that the insurgency is static .. for the next 4 months… that’s a very small period of time… the way that the insurgency will be impacted is through political development…it’s important for them to stick to time-line and finish the constitution, that will influence the insurgency more than anything we can do
Sanchez – with all due respect – we heard that after the last election….
Casey – I was open when I said there is a long way to go, it’s hard … Iraqi’s are committed to the future, we are making progress, they are making progress…. Last year we were talking about levels of violence in the 800 a week range….
Myers – IED’s …
Conaway – Key elements of this … the will of the american people to stay the course….telling story of funeral and high troop morale… stay the course, cemetery in Texas… tribute and support for this young man… speaks volumes to the heart of this country…. Colleagues have made comparisons to Nazis, soviets, pol-pot – they do an incredibly disservice to the men and women who serve…. Misplaced comparison…Mr. Sec. do have plans and processes to get the job done? Have they been vetted by good people?
Rummy – moving tribute… success requires security, political, economic – the answer yes… we have incredible people, …. …, ….(process of vetting plans) … a long process that takes place… thinking enemy that watches what we do…
Myers – additional comment – we go outside the department as well…. , …about planning. Some is more mechanical, plug number…war planning is different, contingencies with combat …as much art as science… no plan is perfect… no plan ever survives first contact with the enemy….. can we correct on the run, if you will? … important to understand the nature of military planning….rigorous lessons-learned process….
To make this easier for you Zander you can just report on whatever strikes you as interesting, important, and pertinent, you don’t have to repeat what has been said in previous hearing…if they are saying essentially the same thing.
I know how tedious this gets, just give highlights…
I feel bad for making you work this hard, hugs….
no – it feels like good practice. I can’t type worth a damn…
Reyes – talking about reports of organized, trained enemy… we shouldn’t underestimate the enemy…. I hope we’re doing everything we can to not underestimate them. .what are we doing to build up the combat support system…wondering if you’ve looked at that…long term affect of meeting recruiting goals, ….and loosening of standards…
Myers – training Iraqi support forces…. Broad numbers… 75,791(?)…. 1,000 special ops….beginning of air force… 500 navy… that’s where we are
Casey – we are getting in now to key logistical sustainment forces…. HQ and support… process will take some time, going now .. on track…. Watching enemy forces… Flat ass rules… FAR’s… watching and not underestimating them… Mosel, governor was assassinated…
Jones – reading …5 of 6 units have failed to meet recruitment goals… , … the guard is 3,168(?) short of … {sorry I suck at this} crisis “is not an army problem, it is a national challenge”… indication from DOD or administration is not as bad as we’ve been told… but those numbers…. Getting Iraqi forces up to speed… response to the numbers with reserves, army, guard – we’ll be in trouble
Rummy – there is a shortfall – airforce and navy are above goals… army retention is 102% , and recruiting is short … economy is strong.. the task is to maintain 139,000 in Iraq. … … (bullshit… sorry) … a host of things going on… we’re attentive to it.
Jones – again I hope that we will hopefully have the Iraqis where they can defend their own country… I am extremely concerned about recruitment..
Rummy – Our goal is identical…
Tauscher – blah, blah (you rock) … deeply disturbs me is our big bet is that the Iraqis can pull this off, not democracy but pluralism… .it’s a big bet… squandered a lot of time in providing a political solution to the Iraqis… constitution? Are you confident that this is going to happen – changing dates for constitution, ratification….
Rummy – so far so good – election 8 million people voted, perfect? No. Sunnis ….being included now….they will end up with a constitution and an election under that constitution… what are the chances? Pretty good – there are factors that are negative… neighbors aren’t helping… insurgency…I respect Gen’s… polls seem to indicate greater confidence… what’s going to happen? No magic crystal ball, but I bet they’ll make it… me and condi and pres are avoiding delays that will…
Tauscher – 140,000 troops on the line…. Few other opportunities… will they practice pluralism,…. Sunnis, shias,, militias… without a gov to die for we will be the proxy fighters… to think that we are hoping that a flimsy political solution will get us out of this…
Casey – we are working diligently to improve… as rapidly
Tauscher – I buy that, but without a gov to die for… everyone has a limit… they will look up and say `who am I dying for’
and if it is not themselves, they are going to walk.”
profound, blah blah, why doesn’t ANYbody pull out any historical documents from VietNam and read a few choice quotes and see if these assholes can figure out that that was then and not something that they said last week?
This is the same BS.
In my experience you can tune out when Reps. are talking they just say the same things, ask the same questions and say the same glowing compliments.