President Bush at a scheduled appearance at the Wanda Troxler School of Beauty, in Fort Bragg, NC.

Fort Bragg, NC (Faux News) President Bush made a scheduled appearance today at a local Beauty School in Fort Bragg, NC, prior to his prime time television address to the nation about the Iraq War. Many of the employees and students are wives and children of servicemen in Iraq and Afghanistan.

“I never really realized what hard work a manicure could be”, Mr. Bush stated. “Apparently, my cuticles have been sorely neglected, even to the point of drawing some blood today.”

Mr Bush refused to reveal any specifics about his speech scheduled for later this evening, but he did say that his administration fully appreciated the precariousness of Americans’ support for the war and the importance of this single speech.

Press Secretary Scott McClellan stated, “I can tell you that although this one may prove to be a real nail biter, this administration will present its case to the American people with the best polish that it can muster.”

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