Step on up to the bar, pull up a stool and take a load off, cause it’s time for some mid-week boozin’ and gabbin’ in the bar where everybody knows your name… err, handle…
Got a Carnacki-esque happy story? Know any good jokes? Just need a place to hang for a while? Well, jump in with the rest of us after the break! See ya over there.
The order of the day is to unrec the original Cafe and spackle this one up there as it would be rude to take up too much space with this a-political banterfest of ours…
Now who has a good joke?
Make me one with everything.
/ba dum bum!
I’ll have what she’s having.
I have to get my FBC jollies while I can – when 5:00 rolls around it’s bye-bye work and sayonara internet connection!
And you all thought I just went to bed at 6. 🙂
lately I have been doing everything I can to avoid turning on the ‘puter at home… I stare at one all damn day as it is. The internets sure do take up a lot of my time.
Our friend SusanHu
A Zombie for you
Wow! Is that what I’m drinking? No wonder.
Let the good times roll. . .and I’ll Have a nice glass of Merlot to go with my pasta marinara. I have a feeling we’ll be busy tonight.
We have food? NICE! I’ll have the fish of the day.
What’s that? I’m the waiter/chef/host/bartender??? sonofabitch. How’s my pasta? I hope I’m a good e-cook.
Fish it is
that’s one fine looking e-dinner.
Because I heard: Loose Lips, shrink hips. . .or something like that. . .
Loose lips shrink hips. I might have to change my sig line to that. On second thought, I think that will be my new mantra.
Now, after having 4 giant babies, I need to do something about this stomach….got any clever rhymes for that?
We had custom built spaghetti sauce tonight too, but over rice since I can’t eat wheat. I didn’t know this for 25 years of maddeningly misdiagnosed health problems from sleep disorders to low blood sugar and more.
Spaghetti brought us the answer, in the form of spelt pasta used by a cuisine-enthusiast friend, after which I felt unusually non-ill. One more such meal and we figured out that it wasn’t the presence of our host’s meal, it was the absence of wheat (both times I’d not had bread either). So I was healthier by 50 than I’d been since 25.
Mildly amusing college spaghetti story.
There is a black & white motion picture I dimly remember, starring perhaps Gregory Peck as a fishing boat captain in northern waters. At some point they tie up with a Russian boat whose captain invites him over for vodka.
The hero is starting to leave when the mate pulls him aside. “You know he’s going to get you drunk so you tell him where the fish are. Before you go, take a swig of this salad oil. It’ll coat your stomach and keep you from getting too drunk.”
Slow forward to college, early 1970’s.
One summer there came a chance to tow some of our school’s 13 foot training sloops up to Lake Erie for an annual small boat excursion over to Put-In-Bay. A classmate had rented a cabin on South Bass Island where we could camp. It was hot and we coasted along over most of the several miles of open water, eventually catching a tow with scores of boats as the wind died completely.
We pitched in for a spaghetti dinner, and in the exhuberant way of college kids on a summer break, broke out the Lonz’ Wine–the bottled beer of champagne. We played some of the drinking games that were still in use among some college clubs and frats, and I was getting rather dizzy, but the night was still young and I didn’t want to miss out.
Then I remembered the movie. “SALAD OIL!” I shouted, and teetered out to the kitchen to immunize myself against continued wine drinking.
You can pretty much guess the rest.
[Thanks to adastra for taking the pic today.]
I LOOOVE that!
WOW! and EXACTLY! Been my motto for a long time and it is a good one to follow!
Hey, thanks so much for that. I am going to copy it and enlarge it to poster size!! Hang it on me wall, I will!
Ah, Janet, YOU are the BEST!
(And see what a cheap date I am? Doesn’t take a lot to get me jazzed an going!)
Thanks again. . .made my day!
adastra would email you the original file so it would enlarge better.
I KNEW you’d like it. See why I always thought of you every time I saw it?
He and I had fun taking pictures of bumpers in the college parking lot today. Here’s another:
Damned librul college geeks.
He just sent me an email asking how to use photobucket. I’ll send him over to practice with another one.
Molly Ivins
Heh, heh! Cool!
I dumped the original file, about 1 mb, on my work computer. I’ll email it to you tomorrow.
This says it all
uh oh. looks like ‘nuther texsun
For thinking of me. . .Gosh, thanks
Shirl – I think I’ve done it!!!
Interview with Robert Kennedy Jr.
Interview
The only problem is that I had to make it really a small file so you wouldn’t be waiting forever… so it’s a really small image… but maybe if you crank the volume up, that will compensate… the quality is really bad. I’m gonna’ figure this out though….
I’ll have a nice hoppy beer with more than average alcohol content please, and will lift it to Patty Murray for her righteous wrangling on the Veteran’s supplemental budget today.
Then back to work. It’s the feast or famine self-employed thing. Feasting right now, just when the sun comes out. <sigh>
ooohhh la! dat somegoos beer ya!
A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a genie’s lamp. She picked it up and rubbed it. Lo-and-behold a genie appeared. The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes.
The Genie said, “Nope. Due to inflation, constant downsizing, low wages in third-world countries and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish. So, what’ll it be?”
The woman didn’t hesitate. She said, “I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other.”
The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, “Gadzooks, lady! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I’m good, but not THAT good! I don’t think it can be done. Make another wish.”
The woman thought for a minute. She said, “Well, I’ve been trying to find the right husband. You know, one that’s considerate and fun, likes to cook and helps with the housecleaning and laundry, has a great sense of humor and gets along with my family, doesn’t watch sports all the time and is faithful, doesn’t think a 6 pack of beer is a 6 course meal. That’s what I wish for. A good mate.”
The Genie let out a long sigh and said, “Let me see that map again.”
What kind of weak-ass genie is this, anyway?
I think Shaq as Alakazam had more genie-skillz than that.
Yeah, you’d think her good husband request was simple and easily fulfilled, wouldn’t you? :^)
</snark>
to the single life. Hear hear!
from my mango mojito!
I’ll drink to that! (course, I’ll drink to anything)
the reason that the genie couldn’t fulfill the husband request, is because I already found the one guy who fits the bill… 😉
(well, most of the time…)
that’s so sweet! A 4 for you two!
Jeezsh, ya just can’t get any good help these days.
Well, I’m off work now, so I’ll see y’all tomorrow!
Been a busy couple of days, catching up on all the stuff that didn’t get done while I was down with the bug du jour.
Picked up my new glasses today, and even I think I look pretty damn hot. 😉 The spouse didn’t recognize me when his bus pulled over at the stop. I treated myself to the Transition lenses, and definitely worth the $75 or whatever; it’s so nice not to squint in the sun or bother with clip on lenses. I don’t know which is helping me see better though — the new prescription or the fact that there are no scratches to look through. 🙂
Not Carnacki-material, but my sister sent me an email asking for my account information so that she can transfer my share of my mom’s house sale when she gets the okay from the lawyer. So, the spouse and I are that much closer to financial contentment, if not financial security (no such aminal in this day and age). Most of the money is going to be socked away for the spouse’s retirement in 9 years, but we do have plans for some of the money, including paying off all our old bills, taking a much needed vacation, and sending the in-laws to Spokane for their 50th wedding anniversary (they were married in Spokane, and my mom-in-law has brothers up there she’d like to see before they die; she’s lost her two sisters in the last two years).
Poker’s on, gotta run…
I got a joke, but it’s a link. I promise, it’s worth the trip.
PMS Warning System
You can see the horizon just at the bottom of the frame, so it was a quick view before they dropped out of site. I love our house with a view.
I’ll see your Saturn and raise you one mercury and a venus!
Oh, that was someone else running off to poker (and Oh, how I am restraining myself from the obvious L joke waiting there)
And I’ll raise your “poker,” with a “Liquor, I hardly know her.”
“Liquor? I hardly know her!”
Ok, you two, step away from the alcohol. I know how you get when you’ve had one too many.
What with it still being the a.m. here in OZ.
Even in OZ, that’s a bit early to be drinking.
I’m afraid I’m always like this.
Shirl’s joke reminded me of a joke about a “bridal/bridle suite.” And the bride’s reply “nah, I just hold on to his ears, ’til I get the hang of it.”
Excuse me while I try to revive her with kibble.
oh my. Somewhere in my boxes of photos is one of our late Pyr Jezzie, aka “the-Great-Hairy-Mattress”, working on her evening meal. Peeking out between her front legs, face in bowl, is Kittyroo-the-Feral-Kitten at about 4 weeks. She would do no more than gently “foof” at him, but she would “foof” with her mouth full of food. You may imagine the results. He grew to be very large.
Don’t tell me you have a GP too?
Meet my Ms Sundancer
She likes to lie with her head IN the feeding dish. . .
our Jezzie passed in 1998 on her 13th birthday. She was so dear: independent as all get out, stubborn as a stump, and so very very gentle in all of her interactions. I learned much from her.
Oh happy Sundancer!
and not a drop to drink – ‘cuz those damn booze hounds drank it all.
Three of my previous Pyrs – Bekka, Bart, and their mother Ursula.
What a great bunch of pooches. . .best breed I’ve ever had in my family! Just adore my Sundancer’s temperament. Great dogs. And very patient with me. However, all the cats adore her so much I can’t get the strays to leave so I end up taking them all in.
We would probably be really dangerous if either one of us were drinking. . .actually I will confess to a small half a glass of Merlot. . .and it sure enough is feeling good. So that will be all for me tonight. . .
Just can’t hold my liquor. . .hehehehehehehehe
Me, my camera, and the dog are off to protest the Howard Government’s changes to the Industrial Relations Act – designed to screw the workers, of course.
I’ll post pics and a summery later.
Cheers
You hit the funny bone, kiddo. . .got me to remembering that old one. . .How do you hold your Liquor. . .by the ears like everyone else. . .joke.
Thanks! enjoyed the laugh, stil enjoying the laugh, and I’ve only had a third of a glass of wine. . .still chuckling though.
Didn’t I tell you . . .Viet Nam era, 64, 65 and 66. . .U S Women’s Army Corps. . .and I could not repeat the jokes I learned during that time. . .
Yep, spent most of my time at White Sands Missile Range, which was pretty nice duty during that time with 25,000 civilians and 5,000 combined Army, Air Force and Navy military. Certainly not nice for the guys that shipped off to Nam, but not bad for those of us at WSMR. I, of course, had the best job on base.
We’ve had clouds at sundown here in Puget Sound (a sentence that is usually redundant); tonight it may be clear, but with twighlight lasting near to 11, it may be too light to see Mercury. We saw Saturn & Venus a few nights ago but couldn’t find the 3rd.
A college Spanish teacher was explaining to her introductory class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. “House” for instance, is feminine: “la casa.” “Pencil,” however, is masculine: “el lapiz.”
A student asked, “What gender is ‘computer’?” Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether “computer” should be a
masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation. She would then give their entries to the computer engineering faculty who would declare a winner.
The men’s group decided that “computer” should definitely be of the feminine gender (“la computer”), because: 1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic; 2. The native language they use to
communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else; 3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and 4. As soon as you make a commitment to
one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
(No chuckling yet. . .this gets better!)
The women’s group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine (“el computer”), because: 1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on; 2. They have a lot of data but still can’t think for themselves; 3. They are supposed to help you solve
problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and 4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
The women won.
Good story, Limelite, and sounds too close to truth to be a joke. . .
Did you ever get served for a drink? If you would like one, just say the word and I will fetch it.
but I slipped behind the bar and helped myself to a little after dinner Drambuie. Aahhh, the Highlands, they are a callin’. . .
Perhaps you smelled the herbal aromatic on my breath just now?
Should I apologize?
No apology necessary. Glad you helped yourself!
Just rollin’ in from my little corner of cyberspace.
I’ve nearly recovered from watching Chimpus Khan (that’s a FReeper nickname!) give his speech last night.
I’m in kind of a ghetto mood. Do we serve 40’s of Steel Reserve or Camo Ice here? I could sure go for some high-gravity malt liquor.
DO WE HAVE 40’S? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Help yourself, take your pick, and hand over your car keys. <smile>
But…those all look empty! 🙁
Point to the one you want, and we’ll get you a full one.
Ahhh…I see how it works! Who am I to refuse a Mickey’s Ice?!
Thanks Shirl for tending the bar 🙂
[drops car keys on bar]
Damn. . .Somebody downed all the ICE, but I did find some Steel Reserve
I am not responsible for the “accessories”
I stopped by to do some pixel checking and lo and behold missy, you have exceeded limits here. There will be a fine levied on you for this….Please report to the stock room.
I hope you have been checking id’s as well, some of these visitors seem underaged to me.
Due to pixel excesses I will be taking tomorrow off without pay. . .woe is me, woe is me.
I don’t think so, I think you will be working tomorrow, without pay….lol
I might also suggest some specialized pixel therapy, you know the 12 mgs. program…
Are you going to take away my bar towel and cork screw too?
Serious troubles, serious troubles. I’m in serious trouble. . .(thank goodness she didn’t see the jokes, Keres)
Does anyone here just love Robert Kennedy Jr???? I just saw a bad ass interview with him – wish me luck in editing it and getting it posted somewhere…..
Me, Me, Me! I do, I do, I do. . .Bring it to us Zee
I’m working on it…. <freakin’ software…. user issues> He rocked… total condemnation of the American media – responsible for the end of democracy… and look at what happens when the media stops being responsible to the people, etc, etc…
Oh, but it’s long…. even when I manage to get it edited down to just him… it will still be a big file – it might take you forever to load it….
oh, oh – not sure if this will work. The little clip you opened last night was 0.85m – this 6 minute long interview is almost 15m – which seems to be too big for me to host anywhere anyway… hmmm… guess I’ll go try to cut it up….
Wherever you may be in you time of day. . .I am off to dreamland. Probably won’t see much of you all tomorrow as Diane will have me on my hands and knees scrubbing out the stock room as well as in waders dredging the Frog Pond.
Catch ya all later when I can. . .
Play nice together.
sure… i’ll have some of that, thankuverymuch. damm straight.
nice party tonight i c. well thats good. i enjoy it when everyone has a good time. everyone should always have a good time, no cares, no worries, just kick back and be human and enjoy…
oh well… if anyone’s still awake? tell them to pick their feet up off the floor. i gotta sweep
I can’t wait to get off work
and see my baby
she’ll be waiting up with a magazine for me
clean the bathrooms, clean um good
oh your lovin I wish you would
come down here and sweepameoffmyfeet
this broom’ll have to be my baby
if I hurry, I just might
get off before the dawns early light.
I Can’t Wait to Get Off Work
(And See My Baby on Montgomery Avenue)
Tom Waits
and would you look at that? zander has the top rated diary at booman tribune.
and i thought she said she was a lurker.
guess we better get a thankyou card ready and send it over to Kos.
she might have used to lurk over there.
but here?
blooming like a rose, as my granmama used to say. blooming just like a rose
Oh Bay, thank you! That was exactly what I needed to get the AM started right – a little Tom Waits. My car cd player is broken and I can’t listen to him at work, so I’m having to go all day without a fix.