Crossposted from the comments in last night’s thread at Blog for America. Would post it in one of my Blogspot blogs, but every single freakin’ one of them is gone, and I can’t seem to get an answer from the “help” people.

Anyway, for a brief explanation, it’s…uh…stress relief. Yeah, that’s what we’ll call it. My husband started it , back during the primaries. Anyway, remember that people who say  they “like to tease animals” are less likely to be depressed than people who disagree with that statement. So, just take this as a reassuring sign that I’m not depressed. And this must be more psychologically healthy than teasing animals. No real John Kerrys were harmed in any of these scenarios…
The Sim Kerry web page I linked to above is the one my husband created, but once I actually figured out how to play the game, I put together a few storylines myself…

http://bmgbiz.net/simkerry1.html
http://bmgbiz.net/simkerry1b.html
http://bmgbiz.net/simkerry2.html

Anyway, the following is what I came up with last night. Keep in mind that I was feeling a little restless, and had the house to myself. What to do. “I know! I could go “clubbing”.”

Except that I couldn’t find my club–it’s been a while, ya know? That probably meant I should spend the time cleaning, but that would really increase the suck factor of the evening.

Yes, I’m being deeply weird, but hopefully also making it clear that this is all silly fun. People have asked why we do these things with a Sim Kerry and not a Sim Bush, who would so clearly deserve it more. The answer is that I don’t think it could be silly fun with Bush. So anyway, here’s last night’s twisted bedtime story.

Okay–I’ve uploaded a few pictures. First, the background from the last thread…

So, I’ve got access to Demetrius’ computer–the only one in the house with enough memory/speed to play the Sims 2–for the first time in a while. Opened up the “Kerry” family to see if there is any indignity I have not yet inflicted on Sim Kerry 2.

Don’t know how many people here remember that one of the possibilities for male sims in this game is to be kidnapped and impregnated by aliens. How fun!

So I turned to our resident game cheat experts (my kids) and they told me about this “testing cheats enabled” thing that allowed game testers to try out various scenarios more quickly. If you turn that on, and click on the telescope, aliens will kidnap your sim. Male sims will return from the kidnapping pregnant with a little alien baby.

Sadly, once I finally got Sim Kerry kidnapped, there were no signs of the pending pitter-patter of little green feet. Tried it a couple more times, and the dude just would not get pregnant. Finally, I figured out that, because he is an “elder”, he can’t get pregnant. Being male doesn’t stand in the way for sims, but being a senior citizen apparently does.

Anyway, this time when I turned on the testing cheats thingie and saw all of the little options for the character, I clicked the button that said “more” and it gave me some more options to choose from. One of them was “set age young adult”. A-ha! I clicked that, and it worked…although his hair is a rather odd reddish brown color. Will have to see if there is any way to change the color–maybe to more of an ash-brown or something. And then…hmm…

Developing…

Well, I couldn’t figure out how to change the hair color, but I went ahead with the alien abduction story line. First picture shows the ominous beam coming from a spaceship that descends while Sim Kerry is doing some stargazing.

Caught in the tractor beam of the UFO…

Hours later, Sim Kerry was quite unceremoniously dumped from the flying saucer back onto his property.


He was pretty clearly traumatized by the whole thing, and kept remembering the UFO and sobbing uncontrollably.

But then he decided to take control–be survivor rather than a victim–and file criminal charges. Here he is on the phone discussing his case. It’ll be hard to bring the guilty party to justice, I’m afraid, given that the perp has fled the planet.

Here’s where I ran into problems as a novice player of the Sims 2 game. It takes some practice to get good control of the “camera angle”, and I missed some good shots that I really would have liked to have. Sim Kerry throwing up in the sink. Sim Kerry’s thought balloon containing a pacifier and a question mark…wondering, “Could I be?!”

Also, for some reason I can’t find the pics I took of all the frantic “nesting behavior”. The dude spent a *lot* of time scrubbing the kitchen counter. Got a few shots of him cooking though. Every time he would start to do something else–reading, playing the piano, whatever–he’d get really hungry and have to go cook something.

I discovered something kind of disturbing, though. When a sim is pregnant, there is screen where your sim changes into maternity clothes, and a little pop-up window says that your sim is now on maternity leave. For some reason, this time instead of the usual maternity clothing, the game used a “naked” skin instead. The horror!

This picture seems kind of Pythonesque to me, except that the piano-playing naked guy on Monty Python wasn’t pregnant.

(I just know someone is going to ask after I’ve gone to bed, so I’ll just answer the question about the bluish glowy thing above his head in this picture. It shows up every time a sim is gaining “skill points” for something–in this case, I think it’s creativity skill points for practicing the piano.)

Creativity skill points can also be gained through painting, by the way. I’m not sure just what this painting reveals about Sim Kerry’s psyche, but it scares me a little…

Last two pictures are non-naked. Instead of maternity clothes in this one, Sim Kerry’s got his adorable jammies on. I think those might be sheep on the pajama bottoms, but I can’t say for certain.

Here we have Sim Kerry experiencing labor pains.

And finally, here’s the proud papa. Or mama? Papama? Anyway, welcome baby!

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