This isn’t political. But this is a personal peek into why I’m politically active, perhaps.
Movies. Motherhood. Missions.
Movies are something I can share with my son. He and I both have a knack for remembering lines. We both nitpick when there are sloppy edits. We normally watch fun movies. Movies that make us laugh, forget, movies that take us away.
Okay… “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape”… Cripes, no one warned me about this one and how hard it would be for me to watch (on so many levels). I thought I had seen it. One of the BEST movies I have ever seen and don’t ever want to see again. And I’m so glad that Depp’s character didn’t “drop his so-called ‘burden’ to take care of his own needs” and kept his brother with him. Unlike all the mainstream movies of late which praise the killing of anyone disabled. “Mentally retarded”??? My ass! Arnie was autistic. Closer to my son’s realm of autism than that “other” movie or autistic person I’ve met so far. It’s a whole box of kleenex, but worth it (IF YOU”RE EXPECTING IT — I wasn’t). Don’t even get me started on the mother issue and raising your siblings.
The resemblance was eerie and astonishing! Leonardo’s character even SOUNDED like my son. The way he laughs, the way he cries. The shrieks of joy. The shrieks of panic. And the whole “Say (fill in the blank). Say it!” instructions he gives us all. The same questions over and over. I was half expecting him to start reciting Bond flicks. The fingers and head movements were exactly his. Cripes. That actor had it NAILED. Sorry.. it just totally floored me.
Console, protect, and try to be patient.
The above is almost exactly how I spent one Saturday afternoon when Wesley wasn’t invited to a movie that his sister was. Later on he got to go with his dad. I think the hardest part of any disability is the loneliness.
The terror he felt and continues to feel when something reminds him of when he thought he had hurt a kitten forever when he accidentally stepped on it’s foot. “But the kitty SCREAMED! I make kitty SCREAM”
The patiently repeated responses from Gilbert to Arnie. The trying certain calming techniques.. WHILE strangers are watching and second guessing and playing armchair quarterback. The expectations of others… the one moment you relax is when something bad will happen and everyone can stand in judgement. Could see how Arnie would escalate … seems easier to see when from afar.
Very good movie. Hard movie. The candy aisle situation! Wesley will ask me first, I say, “no” or “just one” and he’ll ask someone else and accept THEIR answer over mine if it suits him. Wesley laughed at that scene and the “Where’s Arnie, SAY ‘Where’s Arnie'” (tree scenes).
He’s about to turn 13. The older he gets the more I realize he’ll probably be living with me forever. Maybe a studio apartment on our property. And that’s okay, he makes life more beautiful and interesting.
Most say I am his teacher his advocate. I think I am able to be these things for him as I have constantly accepted the role of being Wesley’s student also. I will never learn or appreciate so much as he has taught and shown me.
The Obese Mother issue… Wasn’t it enough to have a movie about Arnie and his brother??? The “they’ll have to use a crane” hit home as that’s something me and my brother have been trying to find a remedy for – just in case. Something the Talibaptists in our family keep hounding us about as if it’s going to come out of their own pocket. They are so ready to bury her and we’re trying to help her live. Typical. The nursing home we had her in let her go. But there was sweet relief for a few months. Got her dental needs met even and some PT. New cane and bathroom accessories.
I’m rambling. But sometimes I have to write these feelings, thoughts down so that I can make room for all the “sunshine” that Wesley brings into my life. I can’t stroll through my days with such heavy matters weighing in. Therefore I jot them down and I leave them for others to see and soak.
Maybe that is the only real “burden” (not my term at all – society tends to think I am a poor, burdened soul because my child is different)…. maybe my real burden is having so much to share about something that many can’t comprehend.
Okay, it’s out there. Now we can watch James Bond and eat Eskimo Pies. Life is beautiful.
Now I can be what I need to be so that he can be everything he wants to be.
Damn it, Janet! How can I ever revel in my self-centeredness when you talk that way?
It’s hard enough to raise “normal” kids and see them be left out, rejected, overlooked, misunderstood, or hurt. How you keep your heart from breaking with an autistic son is beyond me.
I worked at a small group home for adult men who had various degrees of developmental disabilities, Down’s Syndrome, Fragile X, autism…and I have to tell you, those guys taught me more about courage, humor, strength, tenacity and grace than anything else in my 45 years and I miss them very much.
Your son (and the movie Gilbert Grape) reminded me of my favorite of the men, Ed, who has autism. I developed a strong affinity for Ed from the first day as he always made me smile and forget about what a crappy life I was having. He was my age exactly and didn’t have any of the obvious external signs that something was wrong, like some of the other guys did. So when we were out together, shopping for clothes or walking in the park, people would always stare at us when Ed’s odd behavior caught their attention.
He had this whole litany of things that he would ask and you were expected to say your part in response exactly the way he wanted you to or he got really agitiated. Mostly his dialogues were about his deceased family members and episodes of Gunsmoke, which I never watched, but I learned quickly what my response was supposed to be.
As a worker in the house I was supposed to discourage Ed from repeating these stories so that he would learn to fit in more easily at work (a sheltered workshop) or out in the community. But I could see how much comfort it brought him to have even that small amount of control over something, so I played my part in private with him and it became something that he knew he could do with me when no one else was around. I think to him it was like sneaking a cigarette when everyone else thought he had quit.
I left that job 3 years ago when I moved out of state, but they call me about once a month and I never miss sending birthday cards to each of the guys. I stopped in during a visit in May and though I hadn’t seen Ed in almost a year the first thing he said to me was “Don’t talk about Gary’s accident?”….to which I replied the expected “No, just drop it.”
He just smiled and said “I miss you, Laura.”
Thanks for reading and sharing!
Controlled Chaos… is what I liken it to.
I know full well the expected responses. Our life is so chaotic, but in some way it is scripted. I know my part (most days).
School didn’t want him going on about 007, me andhis aid say they are full of crap. It brings him comfort. To stop him from doing it would only encourage other “behaviors”. I can’t holler enough that autism isn’t a behavior disorder – so many would come to IEPs (school contract meetings) with “behavior plans” which are basically how’d they’d dicipline him. We got lawyers and got tough and said no more BPs. Ever. Their job is to TEACH him. He was and is always to be labled as a “student”. It’s a constant battle for such a little thing that means so much.
One thing that I can assure you, dear friend, in a world of unknowns… is that Ed will always remember you and love you. Forever. And Ed will always have such an impact of your life and how you live and love and learn.
thank you!
I know firsthand what a loving and caring person you are.
Thank you for your rich, sometimes poignant, always warm and insightful comments and diaries here.
We’re so lucky you’re here.
the school to agree to just teach him. Golly Moses, I have watched two of my daughteres deal with the school in regards to their two children – one of whom may just be a normal 13 year old boy who is a giant pain when it comes to homework and the other is a 9 year old girl who has some real interesting things going on (PDD, Tourettes, autism) – and it is plain frightening to me to see how schools do not know how to cope and run from doing anything. And here I thought they were really teaching them something in all those education classes. But they are all just coaches really, taking known talent and using it, but not knowing how to develop the talent hidden within some shy or procrastinating or autistic or ADHD child. And the teacher’s and administrators only knowing the moves they’ve been taught, not able to develop more on their own.
But as their grandma I know all my grandkids are special and beautiful and lovable.
It can be a full-time job trying to get the schools to do their. I am always patting the back and supporting those rare few that do their job. What sucks is those who do care and do their job.. are the ones the system seem to try to buck out. So when I find em… I fight for them, too.
We also managed to make sure that his aide has benefits. She is the reason he can attend, she sure as hell should be able to have benefits.
We insist she gets continuing training, attends seminars and gets PAID for attending those things. Even his bus buddy. It’s a must.
I took away the school’s crutches. Which means, I took away their behavior plans. We made them find a way to learn how to teach him… and then continue finding new ways. The thing is though… I have to be ontop of what I’m doing so we can lead by example. So many have tossed their kids AT the school and don’t work WITH them. But… it’s a pain when they won’t work with you, too. They fight off parents. I know. That’s been the biggest battle. Fighting the schools. And fighting for the good teachers.
It’s tough.. but worth it.
I used to work with folks that had learning disabilities such as autism, and have to say I learned an incredible amount about what it is to be human and how much of what is considered “normal” behavior is just a cover for who we really are.
I also learned about how things like IQ don’t tell the entire story of a person, and that we can learn from the “least of us.”
It was one of the most enlightening periods of my life. If more people would spend some time interacting with those of other consciousnesses, we would all benefit. Perspective is a valuable thing to learn.
Thanks for a great diary!!
I think we miss the mark using the academic version. We know we have at least 4 layers – spirit, mind, body and emotions and that people have spacial as well as logical abilities. What I don’t think we know how to do is determine the depth of intelligence. “Street smarts” is one item. People who are on the lowest levels of the Maslov Hierarchy of needs (the survival level) sometimes manage to overcome pover and use every thing that is available for them but may not want to “show off” any smarts because their peers would be uncomfortable. Or that may be their smarts and logic may not be.
Sorry I am going off on a tangent, but I don’t think we know all there is to know just yet and I am not sure we are on any track to find out.
Janet, my heart goes out to you, Hon! You have got to have a job that gets harder as time goes on. All I can give to you is my heart and shoulder to shed a few tears upon. I am someone who understands. I really do. I used to be a pediatric nurse, and I can tell you it is hard to get into the minds of little ones, and it becomes harder to get into the minds of special little ones.
Go will bless you one day for your courage and hard work in doing what only a mother understands.
As far as I am concerned, you have my permission
to come here to relieve your anger and frustration. This makes life easier for you, then do it.
Love…………Brenda
Most of my diaries (of which there are few) are about all of this 🙂 (I think they are all at Kos, maybe I should slowly move em over here(?))
Thanks so much for reading and sharing, Brenda.
Janet, I understand you are just one of us now, which is just a little part of this whole world of yours. I would appreciate hearing from you on this. As a matter a lot of it, which might help me to learn. I want to understand more of your life and how I might help, if any at all.
No help needed really as we are all okie dokie. Sometimes it’s helpful to have friends who allow you to be your warped, whacked self 🙂
You “might” like this diary I wrote a while back.
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2005/5/12/131042/205
where I tried to esssplayne why I am the way I am. How Wesley has enriched me and how I don’t see it as a burden 🙂
Having had the delight of meeting Wesley and DJ, I can say that theirs is a special bond. He also has a special and loving mother.
Perhaps what you didn’t tell everyone Janet is how there is a family bond there as well. Mr.Cat and I watched how there was a continuing trade-off between all family members. At no time did it feel as if either child was left without the attention of a parent or one of us visiting adults. In a new situation I’ve always found that the parents set the tone. You and Mr.Damnit set one that was comfortable for your children.
We thoroughly enjoyed our time with Wesley…and simply adjusted our grandparent role to meet Wesley at his level. We are looking forward to spending time with him in the future, and the entire Damnit family.
Hugs and love to you DJ…
I’m always anxioud when we meet new people and you and Mr. SallyCat and Jonathan took all that anxiety away. Which is beyond golden!
We have family members who aren’t as relaxed and tolerant about such things as many of me friends have been. It’s truly a way of life that my friends are more family to us.
We are still floored you want to go camping with us all 🙂
I have on one hand the number of people who would attempt such a feat.
My dearest friend, Momagainstthedraft, who has opened up her home and her family to us. She’s the one who gave him the very special James Bond Everything Book. Wesley hugs her. Hugs her hard. 🙂
I noticed that Wesley touched you as he said goodbye. That means alot. It means he likes you and feels comfortable with ya 🙂
Thank you, SallyCat… for so much.
now you two are just making me jealous. Meeting new people…what is that? I’ve heard of that but haven’t really experienced it of late.
Oh, what’s that you say? Turn off the damn computer and engage in real life? Hmmm…let me give that some thought.
part of “all this land of Aus” was for a long time I didn’t go anywhere. Stayed home and the internet was how I stayed connected to people. Was hard to be on the phone – damn near impossible really.
Now it’s just a tool instead of a constant connection. 🙂
I think we all love these great movies because they are the vehicle for us to share our life stories, to empathize with each other, and celebrate our diversity.
I was feeling angry before I came upon your diary, now I feel a sense of peace.
I like the social aspects of this blog and C&J because with all the bull going on in this Administration and this world.
With, Wesley AND Danni, I can still get away from it all simply by plunking my wideload down on the couch with them and playing Xbox or shoving in a DVD. For a brief time… all is well in the world.
Teaching my daughter how to make sweet and sour sauce… and you forget about Rove.
But.. then sometimes I look at them and other kids and I want to put on supercapes and leotards and get rid of all their obstacles. I’ve had to learn the hard way to pick my battles. 🙂 Step by step we will make a difference.
And sometimes they just drive me completely batshit 🙂
Have you and your son tried Christopher Guest’s movies? The dog show movie … name? .. is a delight. My personal favorite is “Waiting For Guffman,” which I’ll watch any time it’s on.
What I love about Guest’s humor is that it isn’t mean. There’s always a sweetness and loving tenderness towards his unusual characters. A lot of his characters are misfits, in terms of most of the world…. but Guest gives them a world in which they find a role and a sense of importance.
I will check out the movies. Thanks. Have “Waiting for Guffman” already 🙂
And thank you for sharing all your wisdom with me and everyong. You got me changing newstations, subscriptions and sorts of life changing matters 🙂
You were one of the first I met at the Kos. You, SallyCat, Lorraine, … Strong strong women. Who weren’t afraid to share.
I think the name of the dog movie was ‘Best in Show’ and it’s a nice quirky little number as is their other movie ‘The Mighty Wind’.
Hey, Janet – it’s good to know that Wesley’s got such a great mom.
Nahhh, he’s just lucky I have incredible taste in ice cream 🙂
He wrote once back in the 4th grade that I was a good mom because I know how to make pepperoni pizza.
Now THAT’S a priority and sincere honesty 🙂
I was fine until the last line and then I cried.
Same thing my husband cofessed to 🙂
I was teary all night long.
Damnit Janet, first of all thanks for your screen name. I just love writing it out. . .every time I write it I feel vindicated somehow.
The more you share yourself and your beautiful family with us the more my heart expands to encompass all that you are and how greatly you add to our lives.
Dmanit Janet! I heart you. . .big time!
Hugs
Shirl
I wish I could share this with family… but in a way, I have. You guys.
You and your children sound very blessed in each other! I hope that you all continue to be so. Thank you for this diary, it’s a lovely read and made me cry, the good kind of tears, the healing kind.
same type of tears I had watching the movie. Thanks so much sharing. 🙂
I read this when you first posted it, and I’ve been thinking about it all day.
I remember seeing Gilbert Grape in the theater, and wishing I had known to bring tissues.
I think you are an amazing parent, and Wesley and Danni are lucky to have such a wonderful, caring, and supportive family.
I had thought I’d seen it. Been on a Depp flick kick lately and “whooooooooooa!” This one was really on the nail for us in so many ways.
I couldn’t rest last night or today, really, till I got it “out”.
Have to share this photo redo that Sean-Mykael sent Wesley’s way.
James Bond and Eskimo Pies… what more does one need on a Friday night?
Thank you. You are a helluva Mom.
Thanks. Truthfully, it’s just that I have two helluva kids 🙂 .. sometimes 🙂
Shower time and … yes … it’s the whole “big boy” routine and he fights it tooth and nail. Not entirely due to sensory issues anymore – just that he’d rather be drawing Bond quizzes. 🙂
I’m stunned by your diary. I can’t say anything more.
Sounds like you need to meet Wesley – He’ll TELL you what to SAY 🙂 He’s very good at telling people what to do and say. LOL
He has mastered the art of taking two and a half minute showers.. Guh! Oh well he’s cleaned and he did it himself.
I would be honored and pleased to meet him. And you. Very much pleased.
You are a beautiful person, Dammit Janet… and this is one of the most excellent diaries I think I have ever read on any topic… because it is a diary on every topic. Thank you for enriching us all…. really, thank you.
By the way, while the rest of the world calls you Damnit Janet, I continue to call you
Dammit Janet
It’s just another item in my encyclopedia of eccentricities… I try to add a new item every day, lest I become bored while doing mental housekeeping &;>
Eccentricity I can handle and adore 🙂 Normality… I just can’t seem to grasp or get the hang of it 🙂
It’s how you and I can find the “Botti-Cellos” in every day life.
It’s been a sincere pleasure “meeting” you and so many here.
I am trying to hold it together while my life, what used to be my life, is falling apart….. and you are gorgeous…. gorgeous….
We MUST continue to find the Botti-cellos in life…. and the “Reality-Based” community has revealed itself one time too many as being humorless and without imagination….. and they seem to be sexless too…. if I posted Man Ray on “The Site That Shall Not Be Named” I would be attacked for sexism…. jesus… how do they make babies over there???
Observation, Imagination, Humor and MIRTH … which I’m convinced comes from the heart to throat chakra… which is very wise indeed, as it is CHANGE … CHANGE … which feels now like it is wiping me out….. too miserable to continue ….
The Loved One vacated without taking time to notify me…. went back to the Previous…. as much as I suffer, the L.O. suffers more…. not saying anything is so cowardly…. but the L.O. did not want to hurt me…. fuck this… must go be miserable somewhere else.
But I am very fond of you Dammit Jannit!
there.. there’s another eccentricity! &;>
Here are my two best remedies for getting over a broken heart.
I thought a really good way was to roll their naked bound bodies onto thumbtacks and then douse them with lemon juice and peroxide.
Okay.. maybe not as “healthy and spiritually enlightened” but it does mental wonders for me to just think on it 🙂
Why, DJ, I’ve never seen this evil side of you!
I think your way is better, actually. Anger is probably way healthier than feeling sorry for yourself and gorging on fatty foods.
Perhaps it’s because I’m a Scorpio. Love, Death and Rebirth… and all that jazz. It takes it’s toll sometimes on a person, but other times it can be one helluva a ride 🙂
I don’t know…your options sound a little more fun than the thumb-tack method….
I am so sorry to hear of your struggles. I think all of us are on the mend from a broken heart and shattered dreams, ideas, paths.
I’m still healing from a bout that almost took me out. I think I’ll forever heal. I tried to fight the change it made in me… it has changed me. I have to accept that now. Instead of sealing my heart up and trying to sew it back together… or hardened it. I’m trying now to smooch more into it. Expand it a bit. And starting to carry on with my own dreams and needs… while nitpicking movies and memorizing James Bond movies. 🙂
The fondess goes both ways. Back atcha!
it’s shifting on away from pain central… which is where I live with my insecurities…
when something goes wrong it must be something i did… then i go over everything i did and find it is all an expression of who i am… then i find that the something wrong is because of who i am…
then in loveless rejection i am wiped out by loveless rejection until from the ashes the phoenix rises …. albeit with broken wings ….
then i come to consciousness and i am more concerned about the other than i am myself… because i am selfish to the core in spite of how much i do or care for others ….
so now i am consumed not by jealousy or insecurity but by worry…. what if something has happened to the Loved One….
because the world is so mad and violent… London is becoming a war zone ….. and the UK is living in the US future, in more ways than just the dawn hits here first….. and from grief again the cycle has turned towards realism… anyone who has a safe house and a warm bed and some few to call friends is so lucky… and i am one of them …..
terrible confusion, chaos, confusion inside and out…
that there’s not one Rocky Horror Picture Show reference to a diary that is partly about movies, written by Damnit Janet.
Perhaps time was fleeting, and madness took its toll? 🙂
is not merely a movie… it’s an experience. To be experienced with a live ensemble while the movie is playing, in person and in drag 🙂
My son goes to kindergarten on August 8th. At first it freaked me out because I was going to have to get a life, lately though I’m noticing that I’m worried about him. He did preschool until we moved so he has been “out” there with his peers. He has a better understanding though of how he is different now. He communicates just fine but his face and hands and feet are different and his scoliosis gives him a little hump. His rods needs to be extended in his back right now too so his neck bends to the side a bit. I have noticed lately that he is more self conscious in public places, and he is so lonely. He still has a make believe friend “Ricky”. When we talk together I tell him about all of the friends he is going to have when he goes to school but sometimes it gnaws away at me inside that maybe it won’t be that great for him and then I want to cry. Before Iraq I had originally been keeping tabs on this administration because the disabled have few enough choices and options as it is and God knows I never want to ever see the return of the day when people institutionalize their “different” children because it’s easier that way and too difficult to make a go of it taking care of them at home. I think that my son will be able to function fairly well without me someday, but I don’t know that for sure. Leaving a photo of my son and Ben (a really good puppy who will be a good dog someday).
Gosh, your son looks like a real sweetie, and with a dog like that for a companion hopefully no one will be mean to him!
As I stated above, I am the mother of 4 children who have no challenges, other than some ADD, and it is still heartbreaking to watch them make brave forays into the world and be rejected or hurt. It’s going to happen.
But there are more than enough kind people to make up for the bad ones. There are children who will hurt his feelings unknowingly, and children who will do it on purpose because he’s different. My hope for you son is that he is surrounded by a soft blanket of kind, gentle, open-hearted playmates and teachers and that will make it easier for him to ignore the meanies.
I have great faith in people rising to the occasion and showing uncommon love when someone needs it the most. Good luck to you and your little boy.
So much alike. In so many ways. One of the reasons I continue to keep you in my heart.
What a lovely lovely young man you have there. One of the many things he’ll teach the lucky people who are part of his life – is empathy and compassion. Which is beyond anything else that is deemed “important”. Those two qualities are the major components that keeps us humane and civilized.
I don’t use the word “burden” I have two other “b” words. Blessed and Bittersweet. Yes, we wake up with the startles of “what will I do?”, “Who will care for him if I die?”,
“Is he happy?”
But… it’s no different than any other parental fear, worry… It’s just that it’s always Bittersweet when progress or resolve happens.
He’ll need to be stronger, friendlier, smarter, more confident, more compassionate… more forgiving than any other person. Those traits are his true tools for surviving amongst those who see different as “bad”.
You and yours are always welcome in my home and always in my heart. (((((Tracy))))))) I know it’s hard. I know it’s so different. I know it’s scary.
But… he is so beautiful and he has so much to offer so many.
Society doesn’t know how to deal with the “different” — the artists, the dreamers, the lovers, the jesters, the healers, the doers. So they’re (we’re) marginalized, ridiculed, demonized…they’re (we’re) just “out there”, not part of “normal society”. It’s Darwin’s “survival of the fittest” taken to the evil extreme; we’re not at the point of actively gassing the imperfect as was done in Hitler’s time, but with cuts in services to the “least of our brothers and sisters”, we’re accomplishing the same thing in passive mode, without getting our hands dirty.
Sometimes I think that’s the real driving force between the Right’s attacks on liberals — we see the country for what it is and have a vision of what it can be…and that scares the shit out of them.
Keep fighting, hon…but when the going gets tough, take a break on the couch and flip on the DVDs. 🙂
Love and hugs from the South Bay… 🙂
I have “Gray Matter” a DVD about how the Nazis continued to experiment on the brains of 700 disabled children. The remains were finally cremated and buried a few years ago. The attrocities… the apathy… and yes, I see it starting to happen all over again here in the States.
You’re so right. Society has no idea how to handle different people.
I wish wish wish that it could be “survival of the compassionate”
“We are the music-makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams.”: Wonka quoting Arthur O’Shaughnessy
Thank you for sharing so much of yourself and your beloved son in this touching diary. Your love and compassion came shining through and filled my day with warmth.
I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been for you to watch that movie – it was so painful in so many ways. (I was really disappointed when DiCaprio didn’t win an Oscar for that performance – his acting was amazing.)
The movie that really caught us off-guard was “Phenomenon” with John Travolta. We watched it on cable awhile back, seeking a happy little flick to help us escape from the reality of my father-in-law’s inoperable brain cancer. (Bad choice. Really, really bad choice.)
For you and Tracy and all the other mothers facing fears and challenges – I wish you peace, strength and joy. You’ve both added something truly meaningful to my day with your comments of unconditional love.
Please continue writing pieces such as this – I appreciated the extra “bonus link” in one of your comments above. :^)
Wishing you and yours a wonderful day! (I’m sure you’ve watched them already, but the Shrek movies were delightful – with an especially good soundtrack on the original)
Yeah, we have TONS of movies and we score on tons of soundtracks as well 🙂
Today was a good day. His sister is now climbing trees and Wesley FRETS and FRETS over it till I think he’s gonna wear a hole in the driveway.
Bought two boxes of Eskimo Pies and he had to tell everyone in the parking lot. Life is always good. Bittersweet, but always good.
I’m glad you liked Defending Differentness. I was stunned the Area Board was going to pass it around to others.
Little Man Tate. His empty birthday party was too much for me and we had to shut the show off for the night and watch it in bits.
My heart is with you.
Yeah, that is a hard one, too. Rain Man was tough. My husband can’t even see the commercials for it. The one scene where Raymond freaks out in the bathroom and his damn camera obs… are fairly close. Also Dr. Rimland was one I consulted when we wanted to know “what now?”
Rain Man… at least when I say autism and people give me a blank look, I can use that film as a way to bridge some idea of what’s going on by saying, “Have you seen Rain Man?, Ok.. that’s kinda whats going on here” – like, when there’s a situation in a grocery store or playground…
But Rain Man just isn’t .. it’s not the end all. It’s just a speck on a spectrum.
Empty Parties… He had a fantastic party at a pool with ALL his school friends, we asked around and the yard duty ladies handed out invites to kids who … didn’t get invites too regularly. It was his 8th year. It was his only “party”.
Sept 3. he turns 13 it’s before school starts. Not sure what we are going to be able to pull off. I’ll come up with something.
That was very beautiful,Janet.
All of you moms are stronger than I will ever be, which is why I am not one.I am only an auntie.We have our uses!
I bet you are an incredible Aunt! 🙂 My brother has become one helluva an Uncle.
On another note- at one point when we were house-hunting- I was appalled to see a Down’s Syndrome child left alone to deal with strangers walking into his house.He was so adorable,hugging his kittycat, so I knelt down beside him and talked to him about his kitty. It really broke my heart. He was about 10 or so, and so sweet, and SO frightened.
My sister,who was the real estate agent at the time ,who has children of her own,who are WAAAY too normal, just blew this kid off as if he was a nothing,not worthy of attention. Made my blood boil.
Needless to say, I did not buy that house.WHY?? because I would not have ever felt right, buying a house and paying money, to people who were so damm callous.
My .o2$
I, too, was stunned when I met a young man in New York at a seminar. He was non-verbal and used an AlphaSmart (assitive technology, keyboard that spoke what he typed) he was with his two male aides and he was very upset and so were his aides… He told me he was going to turn 18 and he wasn’t thrilled.
You see, that was the age his parent could finally put him in a “home” and “live their lives”. It was an age he dreaded all his young life. The aides told me horror stories of how the parents never came to his school, didn’t care much about getting him involved in anything… that they had to attend to all his wishes because his parents didn’t believe he had any dreams.
I think about him all the time.
– that takes the cake ,holy shit