Ted Baiamonte, a right-wing Rove apologist, calls us "Dumb Democrats" and calls the coverage on Rove nothing but a bunch of partisan political attacks. Yes, he’s right. I am dumb.
I’m too dumb to understand why it is OK for Rove to out the name of a CIA agent, even one who has been behind a desk job for 6 years. I guess I’m too caught up in figuring out how I would go about arresting and torturing people she was in contact with if I were a counterintel operative for a foreign dictator and she were in my country or figure out if she had contact with someone who was.
I’m too dumb to keep up on things. I didn’t know there was a law passed against women continuing their careers after they gave birth to twins. Last time I checked, women could still go to work even after they decided to have children. But I need to check with a lawyer, now.
I’m too dumb to come up with any alternative theories. I’m too dumb to consider alternatives to the theory that Rove deliberately phrased his revelation in a way in which he would not mention Plame’s name, but Bob Novak and Matthew Cooper would know right away who he was talking about. I didn’t realize there were any alternative theories that fit all the evidence. Someone clue me in!!
I’m too dumb as to why the press would know about Plame’s name, and they would leak the name to Rove rather than the other way around. I mean, last time I checked, administration officials knew about her weeks in advance according to the August 8th Time. I’m also too dumb to know why Rove didn’t alert the CIA if that was the case. I mean, last time I checked, the responsible thing to do when you know an agent’s cover has been blown is to alert the CIA asap. I didn’t know they’d changed the rules around Washington. And I’m too dumb to know who leaking Plame’s name to the reporters if that was the case. I mean, I thought the simplest explaination made the most sense. Occam’s Razor.
I’m too dumb to realize that the Tom DeLay junket was dead. After all, this sweetheart deal involving a $1.5 billion giveaway to Halliburton was in the news recently. What has happened in the meantime? Someone fill me in!!
I’m too dumb to realize the Democrats are opportunists when it comes to defending the CIA. I thought it was because we had a sense of decency despite all our past differences with the CIA and we believe in treating everyone with a sense of decency. I thought even Rove was entitled to a fair trial despite the fact that the administration is not giving the Gitmo detainees that right. But then, I’m too dumb.
I’m too dumb because I don’t know my American history. I thought Bush was in power in the months leading up to 9/11 and that there were clear and imminent warnings on his administration’s watch. I didn’t know that Bush didn’t take office until after 9/11. I thought Gore vs. Bush had been settled well before then.
I’m too dumb, because I don’t know what links or evidence there are to support the administration’s claim that uranium was being sold from Niger to Iraq. I thought extraordinary claims required extraordinary evidence, not just the word of one person.
I’m too dumb to realize that Wilson was a long-time Democratic operative. I thought he was a long-time Republican widely respected by Bush I and Brent Snowcroft even during the leadup to the second Gulf War, and that they thought very highly of his writings. I thought he was Bush I’s ambassador to Iraq during the first Gulf War and saved hundreds of lives in that position. I thought he only became a Democrat when he saw through the Niger forgeries and that it is OK for a CIA person to work for a political campaign. But there are a million Joe Wilsons; that must have been a different Joe Wilson. My bad.
I’m too dumb, because I thought that the documents that the British and Italians relied on to assert the Iraq-Niger connection were forged, possibly by Manucher Gorbanifar, a known liar and cheat from the Iran-contra scandal and who is actively working to overthrow Iran by fair means or foul.
I’m sorry, folks. I let you down. I have been dumb all these months and drank the kool-aid. Please forgive me and show me the links and evidence to put me on the road to enlightenment. Once I get there, I will never be so dumb again.