It has been a month without any news except The New York Times. I know I’m not the most up to date guy on the block anymore. I’ve accepted it. But, I had a very scary moment two days ago, which helped emphasize just how fucking out of touch I am.
I was writing my little rant from two days ago, which some of you may recall, when I stumbled upon this particular moment of terror. I just kind of slipped by it at the time, because I was, of course, in full fucking rant mode. No time for quiet reflection. No, sir. But, now that I have had time to digest the experience, let me share my new found wisdom.
I am fucking almost completely clueless. Okay, that is probably a real exaggeration. There are a lot of red-necked Redumbashits who have a lot more skewed view of the world (Read: Devoted Fox Audience) than I ever will. But, I am, by comparison to most of you, dear readers, almost completely fucking clueless.
This message was sent home to me as a wrote about Cindy Sheehan. I was trying to remember where I knew her from. I had an image in my head. She was at a make shift table in a crowded room in Washington, D.C. Conyers was there. I remembered it well. I liked her at the time. I watched on C-Span, I think. But, the problem was, I could not for the life of me remember what in the hell that hearing was called, or what it was all about. In full rant mode, wanting to move on to another thing to get angry about, and just say fuck it, I dodged this evil trick of my memory, and didn’t give it much thought. But, my memory lapse came back to me later, and I started trying to think really hard. What was it that I was watching that day? And, it took a hell of a long time to remember. It was almost painful. I was like an Alzheimer’s patient getting ready for Final Jeopardy. Fucking clueless.
It finally came to me. DOWNING STREET MEMO. Documentary evidence that our President’s administration lied us into a war and should be impeached. I had completely forgot. You know why? Of course you do. I haven’t read about the Downing Street Memo in a fucking month. It is an afterthought in my mind. It is like the scrap of food that enabled Ebenezer Scrooge to dream of ghosts. Something long digested, ready to be shit from my mind, but still capable of evoking a nasty little image. It was never really much of the story out here in Fit To Print Me land. Sorry guys. You may still be talking about it. Or maybe you even moved on. But for me, the world just stopped giving much of a shit that there is credible documentary evidence of the biggest policy lie I can remember. I mean fucking Nixon didn’t lie to take us into a war, did he? I am a little uneducated about the whole Cambodia thing, and I leave it to the hippies among you to correct the factual record here.
Having this horrible realization of how little news I am really getting, and how my brain is apparently atrophying, I started to try to recall my state of mind one month ago. It was honestly foggy, but I remembered a whole lot of wild shit that was apparently happening, but has since seemed to pass from the record of American history according to The New York Times. When I left, Karl Rove was on the verge of indictment it seemed. I haven’t really heard a whole shit load about that. I think he has been largely exonerated. The biggest part of that case, to me, seems to be that The New York Times is still really pissed that they have a martyred reporter in jail for like longer than I have been without any real news information. At least they mention that in passing a lot. I haven’t forgotten Judith Miller. Hell, I was even thinking of visiting her in jail, what with her getting such a completely raw deal and all. But, I haven’t gotten around to it.
I remember other stories, too. There was Tom Delay, committing a fucking campaign or ethics violation almost everyday, or at least acting like a total asshole once a week, and twice on Sundays. But, now, I don’t really read a great deal about Tommy-boy. Oh sure there is coverage of his “problems.” But, it’s not like he’s a criminal or anything. You know, there hasn’t been any thirty-six point headlines about the Speaker of the House of Representatives being a fraudulent wad. At least not that I can recall. Maybe they slipped a few past me.
And, I remember a story about the state of Ohio being a cess pool of Redumbashit corruption. I see a really small story squeak past every now and then about illegal money in campaigns, and a guilty plea maybe, but it is no great shakes.
That is how I’ve been dumbed down reading the nation’s supposed leading journalistic institution. Because, whereas on dKos and Booman, there is a continual drumbeat about the really awful shit that needs to be addressed, there are rarely continuing themes like that at the Times. There has been no drumbeat, repeated over and over, about certain aspects of corruption or idiocy. It is just a story here, a story there, and nary the twain shall meet. Hard to get real outraged about anything. It was just a little corruption. “Move along. Nothing to look at here,” to quote one of my favorite expressions I used to read on the blogs. There is nothing to be outraged about. Nothing so god damned awful that it requires a screaming headline day after day after day, until the government wilts from the pressure it is receiving from this pillar of the Fourth Estate.
That is the way I see it, one month in.
Other notes of interest.
Why, you ask, am I swearing like a sailor, when clearly I am not ranting like a raving madman? I mean, I could have easily written this little piece without once uttering an unseemly word. Couple of reasons. First, I am working blue from now on. Worked for Lenny Bruce. Kinda, before he, like, killed himself. Really though, some kind blogging souls informed me that my last diary made the recommended list on Booman. So, I figured maybe it is the language. You guys all just like dick jokes. I get it. I am working blue. (Just fucking kidding, here). Second, some other kind poster said something about me sounding like the Rude Pundit. The Rude Pundit, to me, is kind of like a phantom. He is like Kaiser Sosa in the movie The Usual Suspects. He is a legend I have heard of kicking around the blogs, usually with reverence, but I have never actually seen him. So, it was kind of like serendipity today, when today (or yesterday, I can’t recall) I saw a picture of the Rude Pundit, on stage doing performance art in New York. The Times had a story about bloggers doing performance art. And, it basically said the Rude Pundit, was, well… Rude. Said fuck a lot, or something to that effect. And, there was a picture of him, and more serendipity, the Rude Pundit looks a little bit like me. Well, I should say, I look a little bit like the Rude Pundit. He’s tall and “stocky” according to the times. I am the mini-me version. I think most people like to call it short and fat. But, I’d take stocky as an adjective. It was a cool synchronicity to see a comparison to a blogger I knew, and then to see the blogger in the NYTs, and then to look like him, and sound like him in manner. I don’t know whether to be honored, or to see a copyright attorney.
Yesterday (or today, I can’t remember) the NYTs did a self-critical story about how shitty their Iraq War coverage has been. Apparently there have been lots of reader complaints, so the Times decided to write a story about how they were making changes to try to do a better job. At least addressing the problem. Bravo, right? I mean, you have followed my take on their shitty Iraq War coverage? Only problem is, I guess the reader complaints are because the times has been too negative about the “struggle for Iraq.” They are going to try to present a more fair and balanced look though. Be sure to look for a few more stories every week about how many schools we have opened in Iraq, and children we have maimed, and then helped get well, and other happy crap. We are winning the war in Eurasia. Keep up the fight. I can only conclude from this article, that I am a complete moron and am missing the entire point of just how critical the Times has been on this monstrosity of a war. I am a loony. Worth a dollar in Canada.
Lastly, a point I’ve been meaning to make but always forget. In addition to the daily front page, there is one other section that always comes in the Times, no matter what day of the week it is. The whack-job right, always complaining that the Times is a liberal rag, might have you believe that the only other section that accompanies the front page daily is something like the Environmental Section. Or the Education Page. Or, perhaps, the Government Benefits Are Swell Page. But, in reality, it is the Business Section. Because, that’s what liberals want. A full page devoted to Business, every day. A section that comes daily, without fail, with the spin of globalization, and sky high profits, and greed. (To be fair, the Sports page is always stuck to the back of the Business Section, so that comes daily, too). But sections like Science, or Travel, or Culture, or Technology, or Cooking, or Education, or whatever else The Times does – these pages do not come everyday. Just a quick question. If there really was a left-wing noise machine, don’t you think that it’s leading newspaper would have as its daily page something in opposition to business. Something like the Labor page. There is no such thing as a Labor page, of course. And, because I point this out – I am quite probably a loony. Worth a dollar in Canada. But, I’m repeating. It’s late.
Lastly, (really this time I mean it, and no tag backs) the reason I mentioned the business section, is because there is this nice little article about planting biologically engineered rice in Missouri. The rice has been engineered to make some medical products. I forget the details now. But, the gist of the article was that this was a real boon (about two-thirds to three-quarters of the article devoted to the good, and a third to a quarter presenting modest criticism). Puffery like “The new Franken-Nitengale Crop is going to keep American small town farming alive,” and “it’s going to help save the world from disease.” You have got to be kidding me. “Hey Davey, come and look at my transgenic monster food.” If you believe that the scary side of this is not pretty fucking large, I’ve got some swamp land in my hometown that I would like to sell you cheap – for a loony, perhaps. My hunch is that this rice will really help a gigantic corporation in both owning life (i.e., patenting the genes involved) and making huge profits. My hunch also is that the regulation of this new plant is probably not worth a shit, because the FDA, EPA, and USDA could give a shit less about protecting the genetic integrity or overall health of our population. They have been bought, haven’t they? In some revolving door scheme. And, I bet their price tag was a lot more than a Loony. Just a thought. I look forward to eating medication with my stir fried rice in the future. It is the only health care I will be able to afford anyway. So bon apetite.
