Here’s an interesting thought: I’m addicted to the Internet. Ha, ha, you say – aren’t we all? I don’t mean it like that. I don’t mean that I like it, although I do, why else would I be addicted? But I’m not so sure that any addiction can be defended as, in any way, an overall good thing. I’m addicted, and, make light of it if you will, this bears thinking about. It bears thinking about, for me and you.
My friend got “hooked” before I did. And I observed her get “obsessed” with the blogosphere. I was worried and I asked her if she could see a correlation to a “cult”. She agreed but said it didn’t matter.
I followed her.
Recently, I moved from one apartment to another, slightly larger, in the same building, in fact, next door. Foolishly, I waited until one week before the move to inform my ISP about the move. “Sorry”, they said, “the soonest we can switch you over is ten days from now”. I was infuriated. How can such a simple act, moving my service from apartment 712 to apartment 711, take ten days? The reason I was infuriated was, because I knew, that for three days, I was going to be without my Internet access.
It was even worse than I thought. I got in my car and went to Camp Casey and took some excellent, if I do say so myself, photos. I had to share them. I had to share them as quickly as possible. Because, you know, the `net is immediate. I felt guilty because I took time, time to make them as best I could. Well, as best I could in one day. Hey, they’re much better now. And if you want any of them, I’m proud to share them, now.
Does any of this make sense to anyone?
Of course I’m acutely aware of the irony of expressing my fears about my internet addiction on the internet but… what else can I do? Does anyone have any helpful thoughts?
How about an online 12-step group for bloggers? (tee-hee)
Ok, I guess there’s no way my…my concern is not going to be funny, to some people. Internet addiction, pshaw. But is it without merit?
I say that knowing that I might need such a group myself… š
The ultimate irony would be all of us forming such a group online! Oh, yes, I am cracking myself righ the hell up!
Laughing, I mean! (I hope!)
š
No. It’s not without merit. I’ve found the same thing…
Speed’s addictive (and I don’t mean the chemical forms). Having information coming in from the entire world in realtime… Being able to react just as fast, to transmit messages, get the vision out to the world NOW, not tomorrow or next week, but NOW. Instant feedback, instant attaboys.
And what I’ve done, YMMV, is sometimes put down the digital camera and pick up the Leicas again, load with HP5, and go work… the old way. Hand metering, one camera, one lens, one film. Think, plan, interpret, CONCENTRATE. Make each frame count. Dust off the typewriter or even pick up a pen, evaluate each word and play with it before putting it on the page.
Crazy? Yeah. Maybe like a fox.
See, back in my old sports car racing days, one of my mentors taught me, and showed me, that the trick to driving well is to drive slowly — at a very high rate of speed. First comes smooth, THEN comes fast. If you get those backwards, one thing WILL happen and another might. You WILL slow down and you might die… and while I’m not totally opposed to dying for a cause I believe in, my own impatience and stupidity doesn’t make the grade.
Life’s the same way. We runrunRUN way out past where the edge of control is, and then wonder why the wheels come off…. Forcing ourselves to slow down, to get back within the envelope, when there’s time and energy and margin for reflection and planning… puts the wheels back on and reminds you to check the damn cotter key in the castle nut and make sure everything’s right and you’re in control before you go for the ride.
Can’t do that always, of course. Life DOES move at incredible speed these days, and it’s necessary to keep up to some extent … the computer I’m typing this on is three generations old and is still thousands of times faster and has literally BILLIONS of times the storage and capabilities of the computer that ran the entire University when I was in school… but even so, I’m still a human and sometimes I need to pull myself back to human speeds, to find out who and what I am and why I do what I do… and I can’t do that at much faster than about 60 wpm or 120 baud or sometimes 1/15 second at f2 and then 12 minutes in Xtol at 68…
And it’s amazing how much easier the internet addiction is to handle when I realize that I had a life before and I have one now, even without the Web and the Email and all you fine folks….
Excellent. Well, I mean, excellent.
Very, very, interesting, your reply to my, minor, rant at Booman. But, YOU, leaped out of that, with some real ideas about photography, my first, <blush>, love (photography, I mean). And you sound like you know what you’re talking about. I’m 56 years old and I started taking pictures with a Kodak Brownie when I was 7 years old. So what, ehh? Well, I’ve never stopped learning, and, I can’t help but think that you share one thing with me, over the age gap, and the technology gap, and that is: “resolution”.
Maybe not. That’s what’s really important to me, but maybe you’re more into style. My film camera is a 6x7cm Pentax. A wonderful camera. Looks like a 35mm camera on steroids. I love it but it is a HUGE pain in the ass to use. My Nikon 8800 feels like I got out of jail; especially with all the computer ‘darkroom’ stuff I can do with the raw images.
(Warning! Camera Gearhead Alert… scroll down NOW)
Actually, I play with all kinds of cameras. I’m primarily a news/journalist/docu shooter, hence the digital/Leica/EOS battery… but there’s also this RB-67 ProS in the backpack by the door for meditation days…. and a 4×5 Busch Press for days when I really REALLY want to go become one with the trees and the rocks and the flowers and whatever, and the wet darkroom with dual enlargers and all the goodies to go with. I do all the digital stuff, have to, now, but the magic is still watching a sheet of paper turn into a photograph, and “view file” just doesn’t make it that way.
I’ve been shooting for roughly 20 years now; I was 26 when I bought my first serious camera and one day older when I figured out what it was I was put here to do… and since then it’s been testing and studying and refining. And may it never stop, because when it stops, I’m scrod.
An interesting observation about speed, at least, interesting to me. And I’m not sure how it applies here but there does seem to be some connection.
I used to be in charge of the road crew for a rock’n’roll band. Now and then, in the middle of the show, before tens of thousands of people, something would go wrong. Something that required a roady to go out on stage, in front of god and everyone, sometimes in the middle of a song, to fix the problem. It could be a bad electrical cord, broken guitar string, anything…
Without fail, the roady would want to scurry out as fast as he could, hunched over as if that would make him less visible, and, in a near panic, attempt to fix the problem. Being in a near panic was rarely helpful in fixing the problem, but what was really, really hard, for the roady to understand was: slow down and stand up. I could, and frequently did, waltz out on the stage in the middle of everything, and be damn near invisible. Just by moving slowly, calmly, just part of the show folks, and a not very interesting part at that. I could walk out and have a conversation with the bass player, a calm conversation, albeit at very high volume, about what he thought was wrong with his amp, in the middle of a song, without anyone in the audience even noticing.
And this was a BIG, high power, rock’n’roll show. How was this possible? I don’t know but it was a… transcendental feeling of invisibility and power.
It seems to me, and I wasn’t maybe as clear as I should have been, that for news junkies, part of what’s so addicting about blogging and the Web in general is the immediacy and the community.
Any time, literally, that I want to know what’s happening outside the door or over the horizon, I can find out within seconds. When I’m logged on, it comes in faster than I can begin to keep up. I’m plugged into the world, all of it… and it’s INTERACTIVE. I can study, read, argue politics, discuss politics, life, the universe, and EVERYTHING… now, from my desk, wearing whatever, without worries.
And that’s absorbing. Hell, that’s cool beyond words… but trying to pour the entire world, or even the parts of it I’m interested in, into my brain through the eyeballs is a tiring thing, and sometimes I need quite literally to downshift my brain and step back from the flood of information and interaction and go back to my basics of who and what I am and to get my perspective on life, the universe, and where an itinerant guy with a camera fits into all of this stuff. Preventive maintenance for the soul. THAT’S what slowing down is about, in context.
And then I can jump back in.
Not at all without merit — I say this to you as someone with a highly addictive personality and one who has often pondered the same types of things concerning my internet use (abuse?) of late — but funny just the same! š
I’ve had to use the same kinds of “reigning in” that I do with my other potentially destructive uses…cigarettes, alcohol, midless vegetating in front of the TV, etc.
My addiction potenitalities (well, nicotine has gone faaar beyond “potenital” but I think you get what I mean) are for the most part avoidance/procrastination techniques — and theya re pretty much interchangable (again, except for the damnable cigarettes) — the stuff usually goes in stages, I was addictied to an online game called The Dark Age of Camelot for about 6 months, but I had a baby coming and that snapped me out of that one….
Getting busy doing helps snap me out of troughs in general and keeps me from going too far into the depths — the greatest thing is when I apply the same enegies that fuel that addicitve side of me to a project of one sort or another — then I totally kick ass! š
I do worry about the blogging though, it seems somehow different, and I am getting attached to real people here…..
Not sure I know where the support and comdraderie (sp?) ends and the addiction begins (I speak only for me, of course).
All kidding aside, it’s not without merit. I have to consciously say to myself…”No more blogging, must work now!” on weekdays!
I have noticed that I have quite a fondness for the folks here, and the support and cameraderie too…does that really qualify as addiction? Or am I in denial?
I gave it up for a whole week while I was on vacation, and wasn’t even tempted to sneak over to the coffeehouse with my laptop once. š
Brinnainne,
I am getting attached to real people here…..
That’s real, I’ve been there, and, please, my ruminations about internet addiction… are abstract, compared to the reality, the real, wonderfully good, connections that have been made. Due to this… internet. I’m sorry if, in any way, anybody might think I didn’t or don’t appreciaste that.
No way, Rick! I know you appreciate that!
What I meant was, that the “addiction” to blogging, especially on BMT, may be more difficult for me to rein in, becuase of the wonderous people! Especailly those, like you, who I have met in RL! š
I am off to a day long T’ai Chi workshop (something I am really TRYING to get addicted to!) today and am looking forward to the VERY slow engeries that it engenders!
Thanks for the diary and, hey, when do we get to see more pics!?
when do we get to see more pics!
Hey, I have lots. But I don’t want to clog up Booman, don’t want to hog the bandwidth. So – anyone, ANYONE, that wants my photos, just ask (to my hotmail address), and I’ll send them along.
Actually, that could be funny. What would be the steps?
Step 1: “We admit we are powerless over blogging – that our lives had become unmanageable.”
Shall I keep going? Anyone else want to take a stab at the rest?
Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact location of our files.
I’m an atheist. And proud of it. But I’ve nothing against admitting to another human being, the location of my files.
What can I say, I was borrowing from AA…they’re into the God thing.
Step 1: “We admit we are powerless over blogging – that our lives had become unmanageable.”
Hmm… I can stop any time. I can stop, right now… Right? Umm… well, as soon as you respond, or anyone else does, to this.
#2 Came to believe that a Power greater than our ISP could restore us to sanity.
An excellent description of the problem. We ALL want to believe that, but is it true? And are we infidels for doubting that it is true?
Made a decision to turn our computers and our modems over to the care of Booman as we understood Him.
Oh really, C’mon… I seriously doubt Booman has the slightest interest in our angst. I know your’re trying to be funny and well… I won’t go there but forget that.
I’m open to suggestions…I wsa just trying to quickly put something together…ack! It’s that need for instanteous response again…
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of our hard drives.
An intersting idea. Who is the judge, here? I have pornography on my hard drive (no pun intended). Is that immoral? I mean, I’m not talking about violence or pain or anything like that, just good clean sex. Am I a target for my government about sexual stuff?
I was addicted to dkos for months. I finally had to slow down and one thing that worked is I put a bunch of bird feeders outside the window next to my computer- Now I’m addicted to watching ‘my’ birds..especially the hummingbirds- they are like cartoon characters and very territorial. It is very entertaining on a better level.
For some reason, and I can’t define it, I think that’s the most cogent, most ‘uplifting’ comment regarding this whole… question.
It is now 12:30 eastern time and instead of being at work where I should be and definetily need to be, I am here reading this excellant diary, and if I didn’t have the same addiction, I might have missed it. Some addictions aren’t bad.
Good to hear from you, supersoling. If I didn’t say it at the time (we were busy) I very much enjoyed your visit. Did you get all the photos I sent?
Yes Sir, I sure did get em, and they Are stunning. You’re definetily good at what you do, but I would have known that by just listening to you express how much you love it š
I enjoyed the visit as well and the fine Texas hospitality you showed me. Also enjoyed the tour of Austin while we circled the airport looking for a way in š
Hey man…..you take it easy now.
I had missed it yesterday. I have been curbing my internet time lately. Since going to Camp Casey I feel better taking physical action. I think that the internet did so much though in me finding support so that I felt confident enough to take action. My husband thinks that the internet is going to shut down the Iraq War much faster than Vietnam got shut down and claims that because the Iraq war is being addressed before we have so many dead, that that is proof that it is doing that. We can share ideas and news freely. Stop feeling guilty though about not getting photos up ASAP. The most important damn thing you did was go. For every single human being I saw standing there with me my spirit and soul became stronger and stronger and stronger and I’m going to need it as a military family member walking these long miles through this desert.
MT,
Did you call that number? The rights of Military Personnel? I’m telling you, they’re like my lawyer friend. I was having trouble with some government institution, and I asked him what he got for a “nasty letter”. He said: “A hard-on”. They will go to bat for you, and love doing it.
My name is Ben, and I’m an addict.
My initial exposure came 21 years ago today. we were outside the jail in Dallas following the Republican National Convention, awating our friends’ release.
Conversation turned to our inability to communicate in a group process over distance in the runup to the protests, prompting gregor’s suggestion that time on Delphi had become “affordable” at $5 an hour for evenings and weekends. By November I was sysop for the “Green” space there, my hours were free outside the business day, and the habit got out of hand. I’m still heavily nocturnal as a result.
To take a break I have to leave town.
Got an interesting perspective last spring, went to the annuak conference on Computers, Freedom, and Privacy in Seattle, where I was the only attendee not packing a laptop.
<guffaw> Thank you, Ben. It helps to keep things in perspective:-)
Sometimes I feel like I’m standing on a lonely road in the West Texas plains, with my thumb out, pointing to the sky, only, there’s no traffic. And if there was, they wouldn’t pick me up.
This is why this “addiction”, to the internet, is not necessarily, a bad thing.
How long before some governmental body decides that, “for our own good,” us addicts need to be locked up? They’ll give us a choice of prison or “treatment.’ Then probation, with a monitoring device on our wrists, which will report back if it detects certain telltale motions of the finger muscles.