I have been thinking about this lately, what would I say to myself at 16 with all the knowledge and world wisdom I have today?
I might say this:
At 16 you think you know all about the world, but let me tell you, some surprises are in store.
You are going to make decisions along the way to this age I am now, 62, that will change the course and direction many times in your life. Sometimes life will look bleak and you will often think you have made the wrong decisions, but in ‘my’ view of the long years of your life, which I have now, those directions you took, led you exactly here and if nothing else, please know that in the far distant future you will be happy and fullfilled and satisfied, for the most part, with the life ‘you have lived’.
Oh I know you will not believe me and you will think otherwise, but it’s true.
I hope that as you pass through the years you will remember always to be kind to yourself, to not condemn yourself, to see you life as a series of experience which I have now come to see that is truly what they are. Experiences. Be as kind, nurturing and loving to yourself as you are and will be to others!
You will call your life tragic for a long time, I fear, but you will come to see otherwise, trust me on that.
Most of all I wish you to enjoy and savor each moment of your life, to store up treasured memories and keep them safe for me, your older self.
So what would you tell the younger ‘you’, at any age you choose?
Crossposted at Village Blue
Hello, just wanted to post this so you know there is a little old diary here just waiting to be posted upon.
I know many of you will have something to add to this diary, lets hear it.
Well diane, have to think about this for a bit and probably check in at the Cafe Indigo(I know haven’t been in awhile and it may have a different name again)and let you know..great pictures as usual.
There are so many things I would tell 16 year old Leezy. That wouldn’t change a thing because she would have just scoffed at me. One thing I know for sure, knowing what I know now is, listen with an open mind and an open heart. That way one can make an informed decision.
I would say don’t be in such a hurry to grow up. Don’t make rash decisions that will affect the rest of your life based on momentary gains. Don’t worry so much about being polite and fitting in. Carve your own path through life and get to know yourself before you partner up for a lifetime commitment with someone. Nurture yourself, take care of and respect your body, it will thank you in 40, 50 or 60 years. Life is long and has many paths. Don’t think because you start heading down one of them that you can’t change direction once or twice, or 10 or 20 times. Life gives you many chances to redeem yourself. Get away from your hometown for awhile, go to other countries and live like they do…eat their food, learn their language and customs. Don’t take things so seriously. Don’t search for someone to love you. Love yourself and everything else will be okay.
WOW… Brava!
At 16… it wouldn’t matter what the older, wiser me had to say… even if I told him how to be more comfortable and capable around women… something he would have actually listened to… he still wouldn’t have been capable of pulling it off… that 16 year old wouldn’t have heard a single word I said about anything else so it doesn’t really matter.
Life is what it is. Each day is what it is and goes the way it goes. Each decision, good, bad or indifferent is part of what has brought me to where I am today and where I am today is ok. Not as good as I might dream and not as bad as when I was 16 or for the next 16 years after that… but ok. Was there any easier, softer way to a good life? Yes, I’m quite sure there was… but that is not the road I have traveled nor is it the one I am traveling today. For whatever reason, it is not the road for me. I accept that today and am at piece with it, with my past troubles, with my current troubles, and with my inevitable future troubles.
I simply try to do each day whatever it takes to live a good day each day… one that maintains the standards of moral, ethical, and respectful living that I have been taught. I do not always succeed, far too rarely do I succeed, and today the most important thing is for me to try today to live that life today. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow I won’t be any better at it unless I do my best to practice it today.
At that time, it might have made a big difference to me if someone had said, “You don’t have to be the best or the big star or the center of attention. You can make a living at something you really love doing if you keep at it. You might never be rich and famous, but you can have an interesting life full of interesting people and work you love, and believe it or not, that takes less effort than doing something you hate for a long time.”
My mom wanted me to be a secretary, so I beed it when I was young and had the energy and the time to be what I really wanted to be. I went back to school in my late thirties and have a better job now, but it’s not what I dreamt of when I was a kid.
I don’t think I’m old enough yet to tell the me of 10 years ago anything worthwhile from my own experiences.
So I’d probably just give him a list of World Series/Super Bowl/Stanley Cup winners from 96-05 so that he could place some bets and not have to worry about money anymore.
Show up for class, and no, virgin boys are not a sport.
I should have gone to a better college than I did. If only I had quite goofing off.
“Look, guy, you’re GOING to make mistakes, you’re GOING to screw things up, you’re GOING to do things you’ll wish later you hadn’t done, you’re GOING to pass on things you’ll later wish passionately to have tried… and you know, none of that will, in the long run, matter to anyone but you… so for the love of whatever Gods there may be quit worrying about it. Life is, and you’re worrying too much about things that don’t matter and letting a lot of the things that do matter get away. Go, for cryin’ out loud, just go. Doesn’t matter right now where or why, just go places you’ve never been and see things you’ve never seen and do the things you never would have imagined yourself doing… because as you look back it’s the mistakes you DIDN’T make that you’ll regret.
Hi Diane, you said it well. I’m 68 and would tell my 16 year old self the same.
Thanks, Duncan
Hi everyone and thanks for your contributions. I was dragged out of the house right after I put this up to go with my daughter early for grocery shopping and then her birthday party and just now got back..
I love what everyone has said.
I was thinking of this topic as I was sitting with my 13 year old grandaughter, and wanted to talk about this with her, but was not the time or place.. But I am going to schedule it.
I think this is a very interesting subject and wish there was some way our older selves could tell these things to our younger selves, but know that the younger would not listen. why is that????
Love your body. Learn a second, or third, language. Use sunscreen.
I would tell him to relax and not take things so seriously. I would tell him that it’s not his responsibility to fix everything that is wrong and to focus on caring for himself and everything else will take care of itself. I’d also have to cheat a little and at least give him a tiny hint that three most precious wonders awaited him in the future. I would tell him that I was proud of him and that no matter what, I had faith in him and that I would be here waiting for him 27 years on.
Thank you Diane