CRAWFORD, Texas (APE) – President Bush proudly displayed to reporters today a new set of bruises and abrasions acquired in his latest bicycle mishap. Reporters were somewhat taken aback with his behavior, as apparently some of the wounds appeared to be very recent.
Bush showing latest bruises and abrasions to reporters
This is at least the third documented mishap on a bicycle by Mr. Bush since he began riding. Mr. Bush has also presented in public with similar injuries after nearly choking to death on a pretzel, and falling off of a high tech Segway.
Bush displaying bruise from pretzel near asphyxiation incident
When asked if his recent ride with Champion rider Lance Armstrong may have contributed, Mr. Bush laughed and stated, “Poor Lance… I understand the French are accusing him of doping. I’ve known that young man for a long time, and I can say for certain that he’s never smoked anything. Folks ought to give him a break. It’s not like its baseball and he’s using hormones or steroids or something. They just hate our Freedom”
The press conference turned decidedly testy after an APE bureau photographer snapped a picture of the presidential abrasion, and remarked that it looked like Iraq.
Close up of recent Bush Abrasion
Current map of Iraq
The President became agitated and was quickly restrained by White House staff. He was heard to be muttering, “Again with the f—— pictures… everything is f—— Iraq with you guys… this is not Vietnam, Goddammit! I want Hagel’s ass! I want this guy’s ass, too…”
No one was hurt in the incident and the photographer was released after a short debriefing by Secret Service agents.
As an eerie bit of side note historical trivia, George W. Bush was not the first sitting war president from the state of Texas to proudly display war scars while on vacation. Lyndon Baines Johnson has that honor on a vacation to his Texas ranch during the Vietnam War.
LBJ showing his scar to reporters
Editorial cartoon showing LBJ’s Vietnam scar
(Thanks totally to JSiq for this super idea… I just did the illustrations and wrote it up. He just comments at DKos and doesn’t diary… I hope he’ll put out a tip jar!)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW LBJ!
