[From the diaries by susanhu. So practical, FEMA could have written it.]
With the hurricane season not even quite half over, it’s possible that another catastrophic storm might hit the Gulf Coast area.
From Ready.gov, below are some tips on survival:
Before a predicted storm hits, check that you have proper skin color.
If you see exploding oil company profits ahead, pull over immediately. Do not investigate.
Don’t scream for help. No one gives a fuck.
If your throat is parched from lack of water, think warm thoughts of colorful Mardi Gras. Remember – find a happy place!
Do not steal food from stores. Free food will be available and plentiful.
Communication devices are for white people only.
Do not burn property in your neighborhood. The government will do this for you.
As you grow weaker and more exhausted, assume a fetal position. Cry.
Avoid breathing in the stench of your rotting neighbors.
Hey you, boy! Where do you think you’re going? Do not attempt egress into white neighborhoods.
Do not hide from the police inside your home. They love you and are here to help you.
If you should escape to higher ground, don’t get comfortable. They really don’t want you.
If you are the President of the United States, take shelter until disastrous political fallout ceases…
…stare blankly, then wash your hands.