So I’m at the 30th Street Station waiting for my parents’ train to show up, and I’m thirsty. There are four Pepsi machines in front of me. I put my $2 in one of them and select the button for water. It tells me it is sold out. Of course, I can’t get my money back. So, I pick another option…sold out. I hit all the buttons…sold out. I start to walk away when I hear the tell-tale kerklunk. I go back and find a Pepsi. I hate Pepsi. I’d rather drink sewage. So I walk down to the Dunkin’ Donuts. On the counter they have a display of all their drink options. Among them is Pepsi and water in the exact same bottles offered in the machine. I tell the man working there what happened with the machine and ask if he will give me a water in exchange for my Pepsi. ‘No’ he says and shrugs. I explain to him that I haven’t opened the Pepsi, that it is the exact same bottle that he offers for sale. He tells me that ‘those are not my machines’. I look at him quizzically. ‘I know that’, I say, ‘just pretend I bought this Pepsi from you and now I have changed my mind and want a water’. He repeats, ‘Those are not my machines’, and he shrugs. So now I’m drinking my fucking Pepsi.
I should collect stories like this. Or I should just stop going out in public at all.
