Yeah, you all clicked on this hoping to see Booman in my underwear huh? What a sad sad sad bunch of people! What brings my underwear drawer into this diary is that that is the place where the women in my family keep certain things. I don’t know why we do that and I have thought about it a lot too at times. The only thing I have been able to come up with is that the underwear drawer is where we keep our private things that live very close to our skin. Mine has my grandmothers final hand written list of what she wanted done and her last Christmas wish to my son who was just a baby then. I keep my pearls there too. I always wanted pearls and don’t ask me why, I just did. I thought that my husband would one day buy then for me and I awoke one morning once again husbandless and decided that my approach to obtaining pearls was totally fucking stupid and went and bought them for myself, Cabingirl totally understands this. I also keep the handwritten letter from my husband stamped Freemail October 2003 there. All of the “Freemail” letters before that one were about how much he loved us and missed us and how lucky he was to have the wife he had caring for our medically challenged son and our daughter while holding everything down as he fought for freedom on the other side of the world.
The October letter said no such thing. It said, “I hate it here and all I’m doing is training a new world class terrorist that tests us everyday and finds our weak points, and all we do is give them more reason to hate us and despise us and want to kill us.” It said, “My only reason to be here that will keep me sane for the next six months is that maybe I can prevent others from dying, and that is all I have to cling to to keep me going.”
On the way to my car Sunday night Mike (supersoling)said something about me being very serious or tenacious and on the way home I wondered where it all started for me. I got off the highway for awhile and hit some backroads to think about that and I discovered the answer in my underwear drawer.
We all have had best friends and we all know how sometimes what our best friend goes through colors and affects our own lives as much as our own personal experiences. My husband is my best friend. He understands things about me that have baffled most men for decades and he just showed up in my life that way. I didn’t know the day that I opened up that letter that the small front wheel drive economy wagon I bought to throw cross country skis in and head up the Rockies at the drop of hat or a few “free hours” would come to live in Alabama where there is no snow, and make huge long distance trips in all directions that could possibly end in a good jailing! I had no idea that exercise and healthy living would take a backseat to days of a foot on the gas pedal and standing in gas station stores attempting to decide which item advertised as food would take the least amount of time off of my life. I had no clue that day, but that was one of the days in my life that changed EVERYTHING. We all get those and usually we only recognize them when we get a moment to look back.
I take a break now for my favorite photo that sums it all up for me. I know a similar one has been taken but this one is mine and supersoling is a warrior born in between wars Thank God! Now he is a warrior speaking for the silenced warriors being abused right now. He fights for them and he is the epitome of an American who fully knows his personal responsibility in keeping our Democracy a Democracy and he is working overtime right now.
I got home and sent my spouse and son off on a plane to San Antonio since driving isn’t an option now with no promise of available gasoline between Alabama and San Antonio…..they seem to be having a few problems halfway in between with that. Feels very strange not being there. They are only doing blood work and such this morning and tomorrow they will do the surgery.
On my way to D.C. I forgot my bag in the other car. Usually my husband takes our fuel efficient car to work but for the D.C. trip we made a swap like we did when I went to Crawford. I packed carefully and did all I could to be very quiet getting out the door at 4:00 a.m. I got to Atlanta and made a gasoline stop and discovered that I had left my wallet in our other car. I had enough cash to fill the tank. I phoned my husband and we discussed options. I had no I.D. and no cards….no debit card, no credit card, no checks, nothing. I turned around and went back to get them. I missed the brewery get together and I missed all the great beer that you can’t get in Alabama (the crew helped me with that problem on Sunday), but I arrived safely at 2:00 a.m.
I picked my room key at the front desk and went up the elevator. I was a little too tired for a date but what the hell, I am forty and they keep telling me I’m just now hitting my prime. I was so glad he took that shirt off, aren’t you guys too? I loved the way he tossed it across the room like that and threw back the bed covers, VERY SEXY
One hot date in the big town!
Special super thanks to Shycat for providing us with our little lovenest. Thanks so so much Shycat. I had the time of my life with BostonJoe, and the Energizer Bunny aka Brotherfeldspar, and Janet and Ryan are so funny we probably should have recorded it all because it is the only way to really share it. Cabingirl is my sister in like 1,000 ways I never expected and makes the best damn Cosmopolitan I will ever have. Meredith and Jonathon and Rebecca got us to and provided us with the best damn Blue Party I have been to since I left Colorado Springs! Rebecca really is Martha Stewart with a PHD. Janet said to me that Mike (supersoling) is a born warrior and he really is. Sadly he is another man who I find my Uncle Mike in his eyes…..they both forgot to get old as they aged and they both have that healthy salt and pepper hair and they were both born warriors. Warriors have a certain stance and a certain way of carrying themselves and we all know when we are in the presence of one.
You bring it all to life, as usual! So glad you’re home safe, and I hope everything goes smoothly for the little guy.
I had a great time hanging out with you this weekend, and you know we’re going to have get together for cosmos again!
thank god the shirt is all I threw off.
The one of your scattered clothes adds a nice touch, doesn’t it?
I forgot to light some candles…
Too bad he didn’t know that that couch is a pull-out bed!
I would never put up something that incriminating. Even I have standards about some things. I loved my time spent with you too and well remember when the words came over the speaker at the rally that we must fight the injustice of this administration until we fall and quietly I heard you say yes.
great hanging out with you too.
It’s times like this when my preference for boxers over tightie whities is completely vindicated.
There’s an ad for something I haven’t bothered to look at up at The Place That Must Not Be Named, and I, for one, am not amused by having to look at Tom Cruise in his dainties.
The blue polka dots harmonize quite nicely with the excellent T-shirt, Boo.
well, my t-shirts are cooler than his. Let’s face it.
Whaddya think Tom shoved in his briefs?
1.) Definitely.
2.) I don’t even want to think about it.
Are you wearing knee-high pantyhose?
Did you send them off with my phone number, I hope?
How’re you holding up?
On a more selfish note, I am so disappointed I won’t be able to see you this week….
to see you guys. I think he is feeling a little lonely. He has your number and I’m sure he will phone you tomorrow after Josh is out of surgery. Since Josh is one of the little guys they usually put him first or second. It is harder to get the little guys to understand why they can’t eat and have to stay hungry so they place them first. The surgeon spends the whole day usually doing extensions on children…one after the other and I don’t know how he does it, only glad that he can and does.
Please let him know he can call us ANytime. I cannot imagine what it is like to have your kiddo in surgery, you guys stay strong and call on us WHENEVER!
I have such great friends all over the U.S. these days. When I sit back and think about it it kind of freaks me out….California, Texas, D.C. and the surrounding area – I know all these amazing people that I could have never found all in one lifetime before computers!
to the age old question:
Boxers
Was fantastic meetin you, sister. 🙂 Sunday was a rollercoaster of emotions and moments shared.
I love you.
The October letter said no such thing. It said, “I hate it here and all I’m doing is training a new world class terrorist that tests us everyday and finds our weak points, and all we do is give them more reason to hate us and despise us and want to kill us.” It said, “My only reason to be here that will keep me sane for the next six months is that maybe I can prevent others from dying, and that is all I have to cling to to keep me going.”
I have one from my husband, sent when he was playing hurry up and wait in Kuwait, that said, “I was a warrior once. Then I joined the Marine Corps.”
A bit off topic, but I just saw your sig line for the first time. It rocked me to the core! Thanks.
You’re welcome.
Well Mike may be the warrior but Tracy my friend you are one true Warrior Maiden Sister! Thanks for bringing this all home to us. You and Janet and Steve and Mike and Maryscott and Booman and ALL that helped to make us feel that we were there.I really love you gius so much.
to your “best friend”.
And I’ll hold both your boys (big and little) in my thoughts and prayers today…
I will check my email for your address from Janet. Or I guess I could email yah huh? I brought it home in the car since Janet was afraid it could be damaged in luggage and going through security checks. Here is a photo that I took of the crew I was hanging with on Sunday finding his name on the wall. Supersoling was the only one tall enough to make the rubbing.
I love how it took all of us to do that. Very special memories of that simple task that turned into a cosmic reunion for some Crawford folks.
I saw that man… and I said he looked like he needed a hug. Turns out we all did…
The people who fed us and sheltered us …the military affected in Crawford…I never know what to say to them. I share emails sometimes with a few other crazy military family members who did what I did and just jumped in the car and drove to Crawford and we all agree that it was surreal and we stumbled around almost lost and it was confusing to find love and support and nourishment and nurture while we all told our truths. It was even more confusing when like thousands showed up that first time. I was excited but I also felt a little out of my mind. It was as if my mind had a hard time accepting the reality of what I saw before my eyes. I had been told that nobody would care for me and I would be hated and despised if I ever told the truth that lived in my heart. Yet people fed me and sheltered me and I will never be the same! They live in my soul as an image of God and I am awestruck in their presence still to this day.
Oh my. So many tears…I’m so grateful my beloved bro came home from that war in one piece..except for his spirit which has yet to heal.
To all of you who were there, who did the rubbings, and took the pictures that let me see my brothers name on the Wall, again let me thank you all so very much. Jerry was a gentle warrior, and a true Patriot. All he ever wanted was to be a soldier and to defend America. His one and only letter to me before he died (three weeks into his tour),revealed his horror and his heartbreak at the truths he faced there.
It means so much to me to know that you all stood in for me there at the Wall, to honor him as you did. I love you all. You are ALL warriors, every single one. Never,ever forget that.
Dear Scribe, it was an honor to be a part of that.
Tracy took the rubbings home with her since she was driving and I had to go through security and carry my bags around. I didn’t want them to get creased or anything.
And it threatened to rain that day and as I held them I was wondering where or what I could do with them to protect them. But it never did rain. Lots of tears shed, but no raindrops.
Tracy….Dammit. I’m speechless. I so appreciate all you’ve said about me here, but please…I’m no warrior. I have no right to a title like that. I have never faced death nor been in a situation where my actions meant the difference between life or death for others I’m responsible for. All of these things that you’ve said, however humbling and appreciated, are meant truly for men like your husband and your uncle. I simply can’t measure with that.
Damn, you made me fuckin cry
so we know the way a warrior goes about his daily business and how he carries himself and we both agreed fully. If recordkeeper had been present I am fairly certain that she too would have said that you we born among the warrior class and that is why you fight for the silenced warriors right now. Warriors have a hard time leaving each other high and dry, in fact they find it just about impossible to do and you did go to Crawford and then to D.C. and somehow I think you will find yourself in other places also when needed for this fight.
Janet and you ARE both warriors as well, Tracy. A warrior is anyone one who courageously steps forward to fight the good fight with whatever weapons and slills they have, regardless of gender. A warrior stands tall and speaks forth for the greater good, not just for self. I repeat: you are all warriors. Wear the totle proudly, please.
I knew I shouldn’t have opened this up at work. Tears from the freemail your husband sent, moving tribute to the warrior supersoling and them cracking up at the picture of our fearless leader. Waaaayyyy too much emotion for the workplace! Thanks for the journey Tracy.
Sudany was so healing. At times I didn’t know if I should be smiling because it was so somber, other times I broke down and cried. But I’m so glad I did it with such dear friends.
I think maybe the term warrior is coming up because some of us were feel that our men and women who suffered great hardships in wars form strong bonds…
and I think this weekend we discovered the deep bonds can be formed from seeking peace.
Feel like I”m on a journey and I’m so glad there are others walking along, too. Sometimes we veer off to be alone, sometimes we hold hands. … but we’re still walking. Thank you.
I was working on a different diary all day and now I check back with this one. After meeting you and Ryan in person I made reference to the bond I felt so much with you two. Most likely you will cry and right now you seem so happy, I feel like I wish I could take back posting my other diary for awhile. I love you much! It’s safe to say that I love you forever.
I loved it 🙂
And heck yeah you’re stuck with me forever.
Thanks, Tracy. You bring it home in a very real way. All the best to all of you – especially your son. He’s lucky to have such a great mom and dad.
Boo will never be able to run for office now without that pic surfacing. 🙂
Polka dots? Who knew??
to be your roommate for the weekend!
I am soooooo sorry I missed the chance to get to know you and all the crew in person, and to lend another body to the March and the Cause.
I was all set Thursday to head out from NC on Friday, morning, but as I posted in Janet’s pic diary, I got wind that a small ad hoc committee was presenting a report at our church that was going to recommend termination of our pastor and director of children’s ministries. It’s complicated, and diaried in detail over here at Street Prophets.
So I stayed home and fought the same battle, only on a smaller scale.
It was the right choice to make, but I feel very cheated!
Ah well, maybe another day, another protest?
Mrs. Brown!!! 🙂 Missed you!
How about this… we all show up in DC for a CELEBRATION when oust these muthafukkahs 🙂
I will drink to…in a BLUE dress, of course!
but I do understand being called to fight the same fight in a different location. I feel very spiritual about all of this at times (like today), sometimes I am sure that I feel the presence around us of something much finer and of a much higher order than all of us tending to these small wars.
Tracy, I haven’t been able to write as often as I’d like, so I’m a bit delinquent in saying this. . . but Damn Girl!!! – I have so much effing respect for you!
I hadn’t kept up with the Tribbers’ plans to descend on DC, so I had no idea who was going to be there. Then. . .I opened up Janet’s diary and saw her fabulous pictures – one of which had you front and center at yet another gathering for democracy. And I smiled in delight (for the first time in days). Like Waldo before you, I never know where you’re going to show up. But I know wherever it is, you’re doing amazing things.
With that, allow me to say: You flaming activist, you!! And I couldn’t be prouder of you and each of your new found, real-life, nationally residing friends! Bless each and every one of you.
Thank you so much for all your great story sharing. Among so many others, I wept through your “Gilbert Grape” diary, I laughed and cried through Crawford, and now this. There’s gotta be some type of blog award waiting to be handed to you for “Booman in Boxers”. (And here I naively thought my week had been fulfilled with the outing of dear, sweet “Armando”. ;^)
Sending you and your family much love and support. Bless you for sharing “The Summer of Tracy”
(P.S. Count me in as another who understands about the pearls. My husband’s excuse over the years has always been, “We both know if I bought you pearls, I’d just pick out the wrong kind.” (After, of course, I had provided various pictures and options.) Oh yeah. . .and he doesn’t buy me flowers because it would be impractical with all my gardens. Ya know, I let him get away with that each summer, but the argument just doesn’t cut it from October through April in MN. On the other hand, that’s one of the things I dearly love about the guy – the neverending, creative excuses, with a twinkle in his eye. Cuz heck, even he can’t keep a straight face when he says those things. ;^) And he never fails to come through for the important stuff. (But. . .um. . .his flexibility would have really been put to the test had I shared a hotel room with Boxer Boy)
Pretty darn funny- I have had houseguests- so I didn’t sse this til now– THANK you ALL you Warriors- and Warrior Queens.
Tracy,
Thanks. I feel as if I’d been there. But someone tell me more about the man at The Wall. Sounds like a story worth telling.
from Crawford. He was very fit and tan and his eyes were full of tears as he was walking past us at the wall. Janet noticed him and asked him if he went to Crawford. He said that he was a Texas farmer who took eggs and other food items he had grown to Crawford on two different weekends and prepared food in the kitchen for everybody. Janet told him that he looked like he needed a hug and she gave him one. She told him that I also went to Crawford and once again whenever meeting one of the people who took care of the people like me I was just speechless. They came right out of the desert bearing all things I needed to stay alive while I dared to stare into the face of my darkest fears and challenge them.
Military Tracy-
My wedding video, my wedding ring (which had to be replaced because ahemmmm it’s to small and I don’t have the heart to size it…I will lose that weight someday..right???…lol) and the pearls that my beloved hubby gave me are all in my underwear drawer.
Momagainstthedraft is my beloved and dearest Mrs. Ski 🙂 The one I kept yapping about. The one who has been a true supporter and has reached out and lifted me out of some very dark times.
Mrs. Ski continued to love me. She is family.