Washington (Claw News Service) – Lawyers for Tom Delay scrambled yesterday in negotiations with Texas authorities in an attempt to have Mr. Delay avoid the indignity of public arrest and handcuffing. Mr. Delay has been charged with conspiracy in violating Texas political fundraising laws. Their claim is that Mr. Delay feels the institution of the House of Representatives and his leadership role has suffered enough at the hands of politically instigated scandal.

In a surprise reversal, today, Mr. Delay’s team announced that posed pictures of his arrest will be offered up for sale to anyone interested. Proceeds will go towards his expanding legal defense fund. They stated that the true pictures of the arrest, if this occurs, will be kept secret, and possibly offered later, depending upon how sales of this first offering go.
The initial photos will include the following:

Prints reportedly will be selling for $19.95 plus shipping and handling. For an extra $200 they will be autographed.

Today’s Topical Limericks

Just caught a piece of the old sitcom MASH
For a split second this image did flash,
‘Twas the weaseling grin;
Tight-ass conservative spin;
Chief Justice Burns really makes my teeth gnash…

In Iraq, we’ve news of three more car bombs,
Sixty-two gone in salaam to Islam.
And yet the Bushies implore
Don’t use the term “Civil War”…
Better a Shiite and Sunni “pogrom”?

Alvin Hellerstein issued a smack down,
Which elicited a Pentagon frown,
Their smutty prisoner pics,
They can’t keep out of the mix,
Abu Gharib will be heading uptown…

The GOP still says they’ll never be beat,
And the Hammer won’t melt from the heat.
Now everyone’s in suspense,
What will be his defense?
Maybe a lifetime’s exposure to DEET?

Did you know there’s a World Toilet Summit.
To discuss how your excrement plummets?!?
Many more topics for sure,
But I am flushed with allure,
By the UriLift toilet, dad-gummit!

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