Welcome newcomers! Please introduce yourself!
Come on in!
Coffee & Tea under the window, platters of treats on every table
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Newspapers are in their regular spot next to the door
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Please recommend (and unrecommend the previous Cafe)
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May the 4’s be with you
grazing through our day today, may I suggest the grilled cheese sandwich? Or, for you who are lactose intolerant(and you call yourselves liberals?), there’s chicken, and for you vegans, there’s grilled veggies.
I’m getting out of the way!
I see still no sympathy for those who are fasting for Yom Kippur. Well, you’ll be sorry when they are all eating blintzes with blueberries and sour cream, and kugel with cinammon and raisins and they don’t share (which will also get them a head start on things to atone for next year).
God, you’ll pardon the expression, you are so right. This is cruel. I beg the forgiveness of fasters! Or would, except my mouth’s full.
Yay! I knew I could beat IndyLib over here and steal her fours. She’s so neurotic.
Actually, Indy (though I see no sign of you and now I’m paranoid that you hate me)I find myself waiting for my husband and kids to rate my comments here at home.
“I’m giving that one a rating of “marginal” Mom, you’re going to have to try harder next time.”
OMG how glad am I that you’re not my big sister! I’d be a quaking psychological mess, you damn sadist.
Yes, that SecondNature, she’s a sadist, but me, I’m so kind. Wasn’t it nice of me not to mention your name INDYLIB in the very first comment? I could have chosen to try to embarrass you right away, like SOME people we know, but not I, no no no, I waited. . .until now.
I am chortling! AndiF, you do realize that you and I are developing our own code? Already, all you have to do is say Blue Dot and I collapse in giggles, and now tenuta-liebowitz makes me howl. Soon we will have to publish a whatchacallit, that thing that goes with the Bible that explains terms.
concordance?
talmud?
dictionary?
pastor dan?
SNORTAGE!! There was snortage!
PastorDan — that was fucking hilarious, Andi!!
I’ve been inspired by jealousy of Laura and an intense desire to avoid what I need to do for work.
the power of an intense desire to avoid work.
No shit.
Especially when fueled by a particularly hoppin’ day at the Froggy Bottom Cafe!
Bwahahahaha! I learned from the best. With 4 big sisters (and 2 little ones) I can dish it out with the best of them. Now, taking it is another story.
How come all you people know about astrology? I’m a Capricorn…does that mean I’m a sadist? Cause, truly, I am a quaking psychological mess.
I’m afraid the extent of my astrological knowledge has already been breached this AM. But let me dish out a compliment — you sublimate your sadism into delicious humor, Second Nature, and it’s very charming.
That’s me…just like an M&M…break open the yucks and inside is a heart of darkness.
Actually, I was thinking the same thing about you cause you’ve made me laugh maniacally 3 or 4 times this morning and I think I may have scared the cat away.
Eat Skittles and M&Ms together and you’ve got
S&Ms
}:)
I’m only posting up top because I don’t want Kansas to think I’m snubbing her brand new FBC, considering how she specially invited me and all after I made an ass of myself in the morning thread.
Well, I guess I’m one of you all now — having exposed myself as I did. (And Sven, don’t even go over there looking for naked lady pictures, that’s not the kind of ‘exposure’ I mean. 🙂 )
I gave it a 4 and there’s nothing you can do about it! :p
In my long rambling post I made an idiot of myself because when I got here, you weren’t here yet but by the time I posted, you already had, so you get a 4 wether you like it or not. So there!
😉
I hate for anybody to miss a chance to make a fool of themselves, so in the name of all that is fair and good, here’s the link: LINK:
Just scroll almost to the bottom to find Brinn’s condom.
I might tape one to the dart board and use it for target practice, but no WAY would I ever open the package — yikes!
I am grateful because I put an embarrassing slew of typos on display in that cafe and your attention-grabbing efforts distracted everyone from my stupidity.
If any of you had the slightest idea how shy I am and how much I hate to be the center of attention, you’d all at least be buying me cocktails while you enjoy my blushes for your dirty, dirty sport. ;p
Wait a minute….aren’t you the one with a tattoo on your chest?
Perhaps paradoxically, I have no trouble whatsoever running naked through the town square (I am so sure I should not be telling you this), so the chest tattoo was a breeze. I’m comfortable with my body; it’s how people receive my personality that makes me all twitchy. I always think people don’t like me. My friends have teased me about it forever — they’re sick bastards just like all you people. ;p
Nice!
I’d post a picture of mine but even after this morning’s ribald and delightful exchange, I think posting a picture of my left boob (note to Earl fans: that is indeed my good boob) would be outside of community decorum as well as likely to overstress my fragile, already-battered neuroses.
I used to have a good boob, but I can’t remember which one it was or where it went.
Not my tat 🙂 I haven’t found the right blue metallic scorpion yet. Nor the desire to spend money of ME when school clothes… etc etc amnesty intl, HSUS…
ACK
But I like the idea of a tattoo because my family is a bunch of redneck talibaptists. Hell, cutting your hair and wearing make up is WRONG! So I’m going to hell.
Anyways, they suck. But they are so easily toyed with. 🙂 At the reununion last summer, Ry and I fucked with their small minds a bit. We were up to basically support each other and make sure they didn’t eat mom.
So I let it slip to a cousin that my new tat was itching. She stared, her mouth all slung open… in that dazed shock that only morons can muster… she said, “Can I see it?” and I said, “it’s in a place I can’t show you…”
She about died right there holding a paper plate of bacon grease and cholesterol.
I did not LIE! I just was fucking with her.
I am ITCHING to get one.
and I truly couldn’t show it to her – since it’s in MY MIND 🙂
Speaking of Earl….did you see the girl with the “WANNA RIDE?” tattoo on her lower back? Next family reunion you gotta get you one of them babies. Just draw it on with a sharpie.
Steve Earl?? The one who at the rally?
I’ll be up that way around Christmastime, I figured right before the eggnog toast, I’ll flash em my with “FUCK BUSH” sharpied on my front side 🙂
Evil… 🙂
With arrows pointing the slow folks in the right direction, I hope…
well… if I had it on my backside, like so many seem to have nowdays…. I think it would confuse the Talibaptists.
You see, they only have sex if theyu are trying to get pregnant and I doubt they have any clue what spoon cuddle ess eee exx is 🙂
There are only two positions:
Missionary or Immaculate Conception
🙂
But you said you were putting it on the front…did I reply to the wrong comment again? I’m so confused…
no I put a reply in the wrong area… 🙂
I meant to reply to the WANNA RIDE post 🙂
I’m here and there and everywhere and have had a few phone calls in between.
Hey, between us we’d make one complete healthy and well adjusted (and no doubt hot) woman. You with your confident body image (and guarded personality) and me with my horrific body image (and generally congenial nature.) Seriously, when I’m not being a sadistic bitch you’d probably like me.
I already like you. As for the rest of it, we’ll just clean that dried glob of cat puke off your foot and then you’ll feel pretty enough to whip a congressional aide live on CSPAN-2, you’ll see.
Oh, you guys are so fun. I’m just laughing my white-bread suburban ass off this morning…but now I’m really in the mood for some middle eastern food and my guys are off school today so it’s off to Baba Ganooj for lunch.
I swear I’ll brush my teeth and gargle when I get back so you won’t be subjected to my horrendous garlic and chick-pea breath.
horrendous – garlic
I’m losing the thread…I’m just a poor Finn….I don’t know nuttin’… I’m innocent I tell you….Your Worship – please, clemency!
Look, Indy…apart from inventing the colour white, the Finns also invented unashamed nakedess. It’s not a big deal. Unless of course its a redhead ballerina in question – then the neural networks imprinting kicks in and titillation is possible. But otherwise your common or garden nudity has no meaning. I mean, Christ on toast, I scrubbed my first wife’s mother in law’s back in the sauna. And I swam naked but demurely with my second wife’s M-in-L. If that doesn’t convince you of the mundanity of Northern (Finnish) exposure, then I don’t know what will.
But of course imprinting is out of our hands…
It’s the unashamed nakedness I’m okay with! What freaks me out is verbal interaction with the other humans.
I’m sorry to have you used you for a cheap joke, Sven, but I remembered your well-developed sense of humor from some earlier late night Cafes and I figured you wouldn’t mind being used, so long as I was gentle. 🙂
PS. I am a redhead (dark auburn as I age, actually) but not a ballerina.
PPS. I don’t know how you Finns do kinship relations but here in the US your wife’s MIL is your own mom!
Good catch on the wife’s M in L. I was wondering about that but afraid to ask…
You’ll notice, I didn’t ask. I mean, I’m a philosopher and all with a generally inquisitive nature but some rocks are better left unturned.
Ok, I’ll politely withdraw my unasked question. As for me, you couldn’t possibly pay the therapy bills after my own mother swam nakedly, even demurely nakedly, with me.
4s to IndyLib and she isn’t even here yet!!
I guess I’ll have to hang around, though the narcotic cough medicine (it’s an antitussin — never heard of this before (what do you know about this CabinGirl??), but it’s supposed to be some sort of combination of antihistemine and narcotic cough supressant — i am also on antibiotics (starting yesterday, I hope this nasty goo that has infected my sinuses and lungs will finally git gone…tried to outlast it, but broke down after 9 days and went to the Dr. — she is so awesome, narcotic cough medicine and I didn’t even ask for it! Though it cost $40 because there is no generic….ok, maybe it is already kicking in because I am just babbling here).
Howdy y’all! Question for you since I just did it again, but in my offline life… Is there ANYONE I haven’t pissed off lately?? Please show yourselves and I will try to make ammends for the slip… or I’ll just give you a 4, really depends on my mood at that particular second when my mouse hovers over rate or reply… 🙂
Well, you haven’t pissed me off, but seeing as how I’m whoring myself all over the interweb today, you can 4 me anywhere and any which way you’d like.
hmmm… is it a bad thing that my first thought was “damn, must try harder…”, which was immediately followed by “yay! fresh meat…”….
okay, I’ll try and contain myself and just give you that 4 you’re begging shamlessly for. 🙂
are just incredibly talented that way. You haven’t pissed off me yet, but then the day is young. P.S. Be sure to give IndyLib all your 4’s today. We’re taking up a collection.
What did you do now now, spider?
Does it count if you haven’t pissed me off TODAY? lol
You are welcome to try though — I don”t think the cough medicine will let me though — probably good for giggling!
I’m pleased to see my behaviour is so shocking to y’all… 🙂
how about sarcastic whining because I wanted an enchilada, margarita & some support before a friend’s band went on tonight & instead of saying that decided to be a drama queen… so unlike me I know… ah well, I did have a point… can’t remember now what it was…
Hmmm… the day is still young bri, I’m sure I can figure something out… calling you a democracy lover didn’t do it for you eh? 😉
Something I’ve been meaning to ask you about for some time now — how is it that you’re Canadian and say (well, I don’t know if you actually say it, but I’ve seen you type it a few times) “ya’ll”? Is it your hub or have you lived amongst us who take pride in knowing that the plural form of ya’ll is all ya’ll?
Second, did you get the enchilada, margarita or support? I unfortunately cannot provide the first two, but the third, I’ve got in spades — I’ve been unemployed now for over a year….
The hub is a philly yank (causes much problems during hockey season, let me tell you…), but I’ve always had a sweet spot for the southern drawl… probably started at about the time I arrived in LA and somebody asked me if my accent was Georgian… I assumed he meant the state, not the country because it would be really hard to mistake aboot with slavic I would think… 😉
Nope, none yet, hopefully my attempt at atonement will work… I’ll let ya know.
a year eh bri? that is awful. I actually think this situation I am in right now might give me an opportunity to de-stress my life and get out of the ad industry once and for all… unfortunately I have no idea what I would do instead… more stress 🙂
Hey, Philly had nuthing to do with that yall. My spouse is from philly too, and he never but never says “yall”, even though he had 13 years of intensive indoctrination in Texas. Me, on the other hand. . . I just can’t say “you guys” without channeling Humphrey Bogart. Yall just simply is the plural of you. You all (formal version) understand?
It’s Yom Kippur and everyone’s busy atoning so you’re likely to get a pass, no matter what you do.
(I will now have to atone next year for not only being non-practicing but for being non-serious about being non-practicing.)
The dog is at the vet, but I just got a call that he is ready to come home….he really hates it there, so I should go pick him up and the vet’s office is not too far away….but should I be driving?? Hmmm…I’ll try walking around and see how I feel frist, I suppose.
Better now than later though, ’cause then I will be positive that the medicine will have kicked in….guess that’s why the instructions say to take it at bedtime.
Honey, as long as you’re feeling “frist” you should probably not be driving.
LOL!!
[addressed to above and below] I make that typo ALL of the time since he became majority leader — I think I’m ok, there is no one else to do it and this is the night that my husband works late and it costs extra to leave to the dog overnight….just walked around the house a bit — the vet is only 3 miles away and I won’t be on any highways or anything…
Ok, we’ll give you 30 minutes. If you’re not back by then….
…well I’m not sure what we’ll do but we’ll be worried.
You can start the clock in about 5 from now — and I will be sure to check in — please don’t worry!
Actually, plese don’t worry if I take up to an hour — at times it takes FOREVER to get the dog, the place is often busy as hell (though the fact that they are done with him already implies that this is perhaps a slow day…)
In any case, I didn’t mean to worry ya’ll — it’ll be fine. My long ago past has made my tolerance for drugs such as these much higher than average — not that that is a GOOD thing, mind you, just a fact.
See you very soon!
You are on a roll! Between that comment and “Pastor Dan,” I am doing my best hyena imitation.
STOP! [GASP] CANT…BREATHE!
HAHAHAHAHA
Clearly the cafe is hazardous to my health and work productivity. I just scared the crap out of an officemate from busting up laughing.
HAHAHAHAHA
OMFG!!!!! GUT BUSTER!!!!!!!
a free “I’m okay you’re Frist” t-shirt
or
the commuter lane?
and today’s dog one, you are going to start giving bood some real competition.
(I was thinking about trying to find a still of the dog driving scene in My Dog Skip.)
Does your pussy know how to handle a stick?
🙂
You are such a perv.
I’m letting my pervage run wild today. 🙂
for the pussy is whether that machine is equipped with a power take-off.
Um, Bri? Seeing as you just said “feel frist” I’d let someone else do the driving.
These clowns have been spotted in the vicinity…
Peace
Ok, I’ll admit to being way behind the times. What’s wrong Bri? Did you go and do something to avoid working on that thing beginning with a D that shall otherwise remain nameless??
Totos alas are not big enough to take over if we become over medicated.
must go get some work done Outside of The Home. I hate to leave this den of comedienne’s!
Thanks for the grins — needed them today! Spent the vast majority of the morning in bed with a killer headache (and no, I don’t mean the spouse…) — still got a slight one but I do need to get out to the credit union today to take care of some financial matters, so just waiting for the shower to become available. Or I still may say “screw it” and go lay back down…
Have a great day, everyone…
Ah, another headache-girl. I know the feeling well.
The best thing for me is to get the heck out of bed and go to the gym. I know it sounds sadistic and uber-healthy of me but it’s true. When I don’t exercise I have a daily headache. And only half the time it’s the spouse. Oh, and give up pop. Or for those of you not in the midwest, soda.
Decided to blow off the credit union — I’ll do that and the bank in one swell foop tomorrow morning, since the spouse gets paid tonight anyway.
Actually gave up soda pop quite some time ago, except for the occasional diet root beer for my root beer floats (diet A&W with light vanilla ice cream, yum…). My latest addiction is Tropicana light lemonade and light fruit punch; a lot less sugar than the full-freight formulas but still just as good. Oh, and iced tea when we go out for dinner…
Don’t really get those bad headaches too often, thank God/Goddess/Whomever. I think I just overdid a bit yesterday, plus the spouse’s current work schedule is getting to me; we didn’t eat dinner till after 9 last night, and ended up getting to bed about 1am, so that’s totally thrown off my body clock.
Pardon my whining — I don’t do well when my “routine” is screwed around with…
You guys are seriously confusing the blonde chick.
Just as soon as I get a handle on a thread, high fourved people, read what’s going on, grasped it and able to comment… POOOOFERS!!!! It’s gone.
Now I have to ketchup all over again. Cripes LOL
Try to keep up, Blondie.
Some stuff you may have missed yesterday
Should I keep doing this in the cafe? Or should I resurrect the diary? Or not do it at all?
Feedback please!
I like it. Keep it up.
Yes. Keep doing it. Keeps me safe and (lazy) and it is so very convenient.
I didn’t run into any batshit loopy world leaders, or feel any congressional leaders (ick) and the dog outright refused to take the wheel on the way home, so we made it back fine — he with his oh-so-clean anal glands, freshly pedicured tonails and a bill of clean health (excpet for being overwieght, but hey, I can’t get they boys to stop feeding him Skittles and such…) and me with my non-coughing little buzz — all is right with the world!
And, Kidspeak, I have declared next week to be the “Get Your Ass in the Chair and Refamiliarize Yourself with that Thing that Starts With a D” Week — I may even make a phone call to my chair — i think she’s probably figured out that I won’t be defending in mid-October as was the plan, since she hasn’t seen word one from me since February…but best to let her know that I’m still alive!
oh-so-clean anal glands
Thanks for that! A day without clean anal glands is like a day without…clean anal glands.
Right you are!
At least I don’t have to watch him drag his ass ’round on the back deck anymore, even the 2-year-old, was completely grossed-out by that!
Oh, good. Shall we expect a report on operation GUAIT CARY then? Maybe a tiny one?
Compared to reporting on anal glands, really, you definitely have what it takes. (And I might add, I have a pile of exams with coffee spurted all over them from being caught reading about those oh-so-clean anal glands by someone who thought I was doing statistics. .
Bri, I left off the WTTTSWAD!
Sorry, ’bout that, Kidspeak! Yeah, I suppose ya’ll can expect a report, a tiny one — before Operation GYAITCARYetc (we need to come up with a better acronym for that!), there will have to be much progress made on Operation Clean-Your-Fucking-Office-Up-Because-There-
Is-So-Much-Shit-On-The-Floor-You-Can-
Barely-Open-The-Door….we can just call that Operation CY FOUBTI SMSOT FYC BOTD, for short, that’ll motivate me to get it done, because I never EVER want to have to type that again!
Oh yeah, that’s it, find something even worse that the D!
Circular files do wonders for the shit on the office floor…
So GYAITC, GF…we wanna hear your report!
Hi everyone, what a fest has been going on in the cafe today….I expect another cafe to be opened up around the corner to compete with you, your business is so good today Kansas…lol…
I seem to have written myself out from the last week so I am just stopping in for a sec to say hi….but I am reading….
It’s been wild in here, Diane. I don’t blame you for resting your typing fingers. You have done a lot of diaries recently!
…To get a grip on the cornucopia of wispy threads here, but however much I read and reread, I still feel as if I have wandered into Skål and Buns secret society with an impenetrable code.
The only thing I understood was Man Egee’s comment – and éven he was quite tentative – as if stepping into a pit of snakes after being reassured by someone with a maniacal laugh that none of the snakes were either poisonous or constricting.
I think I’ll have a G+T. I have been very good all evening – drinking only Evian water at a media party – but now my sense of reality has become twisted and needs refocusing…
You think this was bad, you should have seen the rowdy crowd this morning.
kansas spiked the coffee, but you didn’t hear that from me….
But I just got bumped. Wrote a long comment reply for Indy, but when I posted it – voilà – comment disappears and I’m thrown out of the site by a glitch.
Do these woman have shamanistic powers or what?
Away with you eeeeeevil males. Poof!!! Ahahahahahaha…aha..ha..ha…cough.
better get that cough checked out…or else bum some ‘happy juice’ from Brinnainne.
Or did I do Greek at school? No, no it was Latin.
Anyroad, I have just entered that scene in MacBeth – you know – the hubble bubble, toil and trouble bit, where the crones cackle and you KNOW that Macbeth is fucked. Banquo’s ghost is going to cause him to soil his leiderhosen (I’m thinking of the Welles verson here rather than classic Stratford-upon-Avon)
BTW did you know that Shakespeare was a professional wrestler? He was very worried before one bout, that his leotard had been attacked by moths, but was assured by his trainer that ‘No holes, Bard’
Puget4 is getting her hands into the knitty gritty of shop work today.
We’re just heading down for the final sprint after the afternoon toto-walk. This morning she learned how to become one with her work.
As in, superglue.
Superglue? Oh, no! Which part got glued to which part?
.
Local time 00:30AM ::
Across the Big Pond?
I call it my pre-emptive breakfast – light and easily digested – some delicious fresh fruit added.
▼ ▼ ▼ MY DIARY