On the eve of Scooter Libby’s arraignment (who’s bringin’ the bubbly?), 
Atrios writes:
“Between Horny Bear Scooter and Strip Search Sammy I’m really starting to wonder what the hell is up with your modern Republican party… ”
Scooter Libby’s The Apprentice: A Novel is selling hot here through our association with Powell’s.
And, who wouldn’t buy the novel by an indicted former chief of staff to V.P. Dick Cheney?
But, lordy! What’s in this book! Check this out:
“At age ten the madam put the child in a cage with a bear trained to couple with young girls so the girls would be frigid and not fall in love with their patrons. They fed her through the bars and aroused the bear with a stick when it seemed to lose interest.”
Shakes Sis has more. There is a lot I could say about this but I’ll just note in passing that it took Libby 20 years to finish this book. Which means that this passage about poking a horny bear with a stick is the product of a labor of love that lasted longer than many marriages.
Shakes Sis also has quotes from the New Yorker review in 1996:
Like his predecessors, Libby does not shy from the scatological. The narrative makes generous mention of lice, snot, drunkenness, bad breath, torture, urine, “turds,” armpits, arm hair, neck hair, pubic hair, pus, boils, and blood (regular and menstrual). One passage goes, “At length he walked around to the deer’s head and, reaching into his pants, struggled for a moment and then pulled out his penis. He began to piss in the snow just in front of the deer’s nostrils.”
Maybe he should get together with Lynn Cheney and trade notes on who has the purplest? prose…my critique based on these passages runs to the cerebral -ughhhhhhhh and ‘superduper’ double yuk.
I will shamelessly reuse the comment I made at Pandagon:
At age ten the madam put the child in a cage with a bear …
What kind of mind imagines 10-year-old madams?
(Hey, he’s not just a creep and a perjurer; he’s an ungrammatical creep and perjurer.)
pondered the same myself, but I think it’s a grammar problem. Libby should have worked more on the editing and have read Eats, Shoots, and Leaves
Specifically, it’s a misplaced modifier.
And the following sentence has an unclear antecedent (“They”)
I think he and Lynn are some sick puppies to say the least~! What in the world are they thinking of!!!???? They are simply very sick in the mind!
And our very own jimstaro posted an entry on Libby’s pecadillos a little while ago.
Maybe Scooter can get Ahnold to appear in the movie version since he will likely be out of a job. The Aprenticinator.
Scoot on over to the blog Rigorous Inuition. Jeff Wells is SO on to this stuff.
Scroll down the right side until you get to the section called “The Military-Occult Complex, ritual abuse/mind control, and “High Weirdness”, and read the articles linked there.
You will NEVER look at these people the same again.
That is a guarantee.
Jeff Gannon was just the tip of the…
Oh,…nevermind…
AG
Haven’t seen any of your posts since I started inhabiting BT. I hope to see more of you.
Arthur Silber wrote about this yesterday, also.
In addition to Libby’s other sins, I suppose we can also tag him with writing bad porn.
You’d think he felt sex was something, you know, dirty. Something to be ashamed about.
Ick. I’ll stick to romantic suspense, thanks.
and raise hell? You can’t be in Bush’s Administration and writing this satanic stuff!
This raises a number of interesting questions:
First off, who would write stuff like this?
Second, who would read it? I would probably have run screaming from this pile of bilirubin long before I hit the part about the bear.
And third, do people realize that in buying this exercise in typing, they are giving money to Scooter Libby? In theory at least; I notice that it’s $3.95, which may mean it’s been remaindered and presumably he wouldn’t get royalties on it. Still, the idea of giving someone money that could, even indirectly or by traveling through time, wind up in the pocket of Scooter Libby gives me the heebie-jeebies. C’mon people, this is the reason libraries were invented. 🙂
I doubt it sold well in 1996.
But, now, it’s a collector’s item. You don’t have to read it. Just show it off to your guests … like the woman I used to know who always showed off the walrus penis bone she had.
The last time I purchased a book that I wanted that was priced at $3.95, I was in fourth grade and ordering out of the scholastic reader flyer!
Lousy editor.
“to pee in the snow”
is a much better construction than
“to piss in the snow”
What’s wrong with this fellow? Is English his second language or something?
I’ve written some uh.. colorful stuff in the past, not online of course, and I am usually loathe to judge someone for writing material of a sexual nature. No matter how “straight” it is, it will seem pornographic and lascivious to some.
However this is in another category altogether. There is a very awful vein running through American society which, at best, should be called neo-Puritanical.
People always remember the real Puritans as being anti everything, from dancing to cards. But when it came to sex, between legally married people, they were ALL FOR IT. Not just mildly tolerant, with scarcely a word whispered. On the contrary, the sexual urges were encouraged and it was for more than dry “reproductive” purposes too. I won’t even get into it here for fear of offending someone, but it reminds me of modern day Shi’ite religious leaders in Iraq who have very sexually explicit websites (this is not sarcasm but a fact).
Neo-Puritans on the other hand feel ALL sex is twisted and wrong, under all circumstances. It’s like Victorian prudishness mixed with a Christian theology of mortification of the flesh and suddenly it’s the entire BODY which is unclean. Not just sex but the body itself, from its skin to its emissions, is now something loathesome.
What’s odd, to me anyway, is that this hatred of the body and the flesh has been sublimated into violence. I’ve said it before a million times but it’s worth repeating. On television:
Janet Jackson’s breast? Massive fine. But the photos of real dead people, either American or otherwise, from a real war? Doesn’t exist.
I think this explains a lot of the neocon mentality, this weird tale of bears raping children and everything else. It’s like he emptied the hopper of his mind in order to focus on his first psychological need – using violence to solve his sexual frustration.
I’ve actually heard people tell me (in America) that the mannequins in a Victoria’s Secret window, sporting VS lingerie, was a SIN. A fake body wearing the products being sold inside, and it’s a sin???
It’s a good thing they’ve never been to Europe eh?
Pax