Specifically a man.
What makes a good man? I think I have good answer, but I don’t want to give it because then this is a diary about my idea.
You know a good man, don’t you, what’s he like?
Can a good man have faults? can he lie?
He has responsibilities, what are they to his family? What are they to his life choices, should he contribute to society? or is it also sufficient to simply not be a drain on society, but wait, certainly, some good men have been a drain on society, and it may well have been worth the price, if he truly was good. Was he?
My interest here is due to the fact that some of my best friends are men, I am one, and I am curious what makes a good man.
Ok, I’ll tell some: I believe a good man does not need hope to persevere, knows right from wrong, does not harm anyone unless that person is an aggressor. A good man will stand up for the weak. A good man is willing to work hard. A good man does not believe in petty advantage, and a good man will admit an error. A good man will treat people honestly, and failing, will rectify the situation. A good man can cry without shame. A good man has principles and compassion, can be stern and also compromise. A good man appreciates that other people’s interests have value, and knows how to be polite, but isn’t always.
The best example I have is my dad. He always smiles, he still is a jock (75) and plays golf, basketball, horseshoes and bowls with my 4 brothers, he practices what he has always preached-doesn’t swear or drink, raised 8 kids with strong ethics-( He is a great role model as all my brothers have married and not divorced (3 out of 4 girls divorced-couldn’t find the ‘dad’ clone LOL)
He never fights with my mom and mom was tough (is) sometimes but she always worked while raising 8 kids so she was entitled to bad days..
My dad is just plain stable. He was a printer and the only thing I ever heard him complain about regularly was the weather.
He’s still the best man I’ve ever known. And sadly, I’ve never met another man that even comes close.
A man who treats all beings with respect, who uses his talents to serve others.
Same as a good woman.
Of course there are lots of things that go into making a good man, but I’ll emphasize one, because it seems to be so lacking in our culture:
The ability to see something from another’s point of view.
my favorite principle.
A good man is a humble man.
A good man knows that compassion is more than a word.
A good man recognizes he isn’t perfect and doesn’t have all the answers.
A good man isn’t afraid to cry when he hurts and needs to.
A good man cares about the planet, not just his lawn.
A good man doesnt vote for George W. Bush.
But that goes for women too.
I can’t think of a single trait that goes into making a good man that doesn’t also go into making a good woman. Pyrrho, what are you thinking about that would make you ask specifically about men?
Read all the posts before I was ready to comment. And, damn if you didn’t beat me to it!
If they are the same things, then I figured one could tell them for men… and point out they were the same for women, as some did.
I’m still curious which aspects.
I decided that to ask “a good person” was not getting as down to basic identity as I wanted.
I’m not sure they really are exactly the same. My tendency is to assume they are the same, I believe in moral androgeny, but I would rather probe the regions of sexual differentiation than assume my way through it and blur what are sometimes potentially wonderful and respectful distinctions.
As food for thought, there are physical difference, and won’t these lead to at least a few different aspects to their goodness. I.e. does a good women accept certain responsibilities during pregnancy… e.g. refraining from those recreational drugs which might harm the baby? Might a man have certain responsibilities due to historic preference… e.g. a man may have a special responsibility to be sensitive to sexual inequalities since he will have benefited from them more? I think there may be such areas, though I tend to want to agree, “goodness” is a philosophical, moral, and ethical distinction which applies to minds at a level at least mostly totally independent of sexual identity.
It’s an interesting inquiry.
First, I am not so sure that simple physical difference is enough to account for true moral difference. To take your example, while it may be a moral good for a pregnant woman to refrain from substances which could harm her fetus, it would be a correlative moral good for a man to do the same before he contributes sperm such that the fetus doesn’t suffer genetic damage from his actions. I think this sort of “difference” isn’t one really, not in the ethical sense.
In any case, I don’t accept that the binary sex/gender frame we use is big enough or complex enough to properly categorize the sexes and genders I think exist in the species. So for me, the ethics queries cannot be phrased in terms of “good man” and “good woman” anyway because I think those categories are too unstable for the deeper questions.
But I love ethical philosophy so I’m always curious about what others think, and of course, why. 🙂
that as a man, one has a certain responsibility to protect and assist ladies, as they generally tend to be smaller and have less upper body strength, so if one can reach something on a high shelf, carry a heavy box from the basement, or if necessary, dispatch an assailant, this is correct behavior, however, in matters of self-determination or intellect, we have no advantage over ladies, our physical advantage is essentially ornamental, and to attempt to extrapolate it or take advantage of it is brutish and wrong.
For their part, since we are generally speaking, more likely to have less ability to distinguish colors, it is a great kindness if ladies will help us avoid the shame of being GQ don’ts and occasionally reach into a small space to retrieve some even smaller thing that we have clumsily dropped.
In other words, it may be gentlemanly, in some cases, to discreetly allow a lady to win at some athletic endeavors, like rowing or a foot race, but never at chess, and seldom at croquet.
“Speak roughly to your little boy,
And beat him when he sneezes:
He only does it to annoy,
Because he knows it teases.”
From a text which also features a lady with whom it is very dangerous to play croquet. 😀
Lewis Carrol said something to the affect that he loved all children except for little boys.