Jerry and Steven D are unavailable this weekend. BooMan is busy, busy, busy, and I can’t even reach him on his cell phone. My mom passed away a couple hours ago. (I’m okay — just “floating” in a strange place that’s alright.)
I happened to write to Jane Hamsher of firedoglake because I’d noticed she’d filled in for John Amato at Crooks & Liars … I was worried about John, and I mentioned that I wish we could have a “sub” like her. She offered to sub! And she’ll be posting shortly. Isn’t that the nicest thing? She is, in my opinion, one of the best, most astute, and terribly funny bloggers in the entire blogosphere…. it’s an honor she is willing to pitch in here.
Update: Atrios linked Pat Lang’s incredible Curveball story. I went to check it out, and couldn’t believe what I saw. Atrios has put up the most stunning set of photos of Bush the clown, the idiot faux president. It’s embarrassing but it’s also perversely funny.
Condolences Susan. Sorry.
What Joe said.
(As requested, “Greetings, Jane!”)
More importantly, I’m so sorry about your immense loss, Susan. Please don’t hesitate to ask for support, and please make sure to take care of yourself. We’re here for you.
Blessings to you and yours
May your mom finally be at peace.
And a ‘you-got-it’ for welcoming Jane.
Susan, I’m so sorry about your mom.
My condolences to you and your family Susan and my best wishes are with you.
today…..they have taken some hard hits.
Susan, I’m so sorry. Please know that you and your Mom are in my thoughts, and for what it’s worth, in my prayers. Take care of yourself.
And a warm froggy welcome to Jane.
My sympathy Susan. Please take what time you need to take care of yourself.
My condoleces for your loss, Susan. She must have been a heck of a woman to have such a great daughter!
Welcome Jane! I can’t wait to see what you have for us.
Sorry to hear that Susan.
I will never forget, it will be the last thing that leaves me before I leave this plane.
Your face was first I ever knew and the first thing that ever mattered to me, you counted and kissed all of my ten fingers and toes and nobody has ever loved me as much since. Because of all the love you gave me I became someone who could give to others.
Every birthday, wedding, graduation, birth, death, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, spring day, summer day, crunching leaves day, winter day by the fire will always be missing something. Along with my smiles and warmth is always a small tear.
I am here because you loved me. I was completely defenseless and without you I could not have lived, loved, and created for myself. The wheel continues to turn but I have a hurt that will never be eradicated on this path I follow in womanhood now.
Tracy, that’s so terribly sad…. a little girl needs her mommy so much. I’m sorry for you, but I’m so happy that she loved you so powerfully that it fills you to this day.
yesterday, I looked at my mother’s hands…. she has big hands. Big sturdy fingers. And all I could think of was, when I was little and she was making a cake, she’d hold our her big finger to I could suck a big chunk of chocolate frosting off…. and it was as comforting to have her strong sturdy finger in my mouth as it was to eat the frosting.
You’ve all helped me … the tears are coming … hugs and love.
Weeping with you, Susan, and with Tracy, and with all the other motherless children.
I am wishing you warm, strong, comforting hands of blessing and peace as you grieve.
Thank you all.
It’s been so strange … it’s been unreal …
We tried to drive down to see her one last time but the roads are so foggy that it’s quite dangerous to drive. (Those two-lane mountain highways aren’t safe even when it’s sunny.) And I was worried we’d be too preoccupied to drive carefully.
Then it dawned on me that my mom absolutely hates that kind of “event.” She’s already requested no service. And I just know she wouldn’t want us to go there … we were with her a long time yesterday, and it was lovely. We held her hand, stroked her shoulders, and talked to her for hours.
When we decided not to go, we ended up doing the weirdest things. We went to Costco and bought dog food for the raccoons … we got coffee … we stopped at a bookstore because, for some reason, I just had to have a copy of “Charlie Wilson’s War.” I was fixated on it. I got their last copy.
I can’t explain any of this…. but I do know that my mom would approve heartily.
She was such a life force that it’s going to be very strange for a very long time not to see her anymore.
Just a bit about the beginning of her life. When her dad died, she was 4 years old. He died in the flu epidemic. She had two little brothers and a sister on the way. They were very, very poor in rural North Dakota. Her kind uncle paid her way to college, and she became a teacher — she taught all twelve grades in a one-room schoolhouse. She said they made lunch by putting potatoes on the coal stove.
There’s a photo of her in the newspaper — Darcy has it now — she’s about 23 years old, and she’s standing behind a group of high school girls. She’s their basketball coach. About 30 years ago, I asked her, “What did YOU know about basketball?” She said, “Nothing. I got a book from the library, and learned.” And that team won a lot of games.
She married her great love, Charlie, and they were told they couldn’t have children. Then Charlie, a prosperous wheat farmer, was killed in a terrible truck accident. She moved to Seattle during World War II, attended the University of Washington, and worked at Frederick & Nelson. Then she met my father …
Quite a life. Everyone who ever met her instantly liked her. Vivacious, beautiful, spirited.
Susan, I’m so sorry. I’m sure your mom would is so proud of her daughter, and her daughter’s daughter.
Stay strong, and let us know if we can do anything to help.
these small parts of your mother’s life with us. This is part of celebrating her life and we’re honored to be here with you.
She’s still aware of everything “down here” and no doubt marveling that so many minds all over the world are thinking about her tonight. Blessed Be, Susan.
Very sorry. I hope it is not long before you discover where she stored that life force.
I am so sorry.
I wish I could help in some way.
There are no words that can claim to comfort anyone on the loss of a mother, regardless of how old we are when it happens. About the best that can be said about it is that she is in a better place than this, and whatever else life may bring, this is one way that you will never have to pass again. You remain in my prayers.
Welcome Jane, I read you all time at firedoglake! You’re terrific…
Susan, take care of yourself… my heart goes out to you. Meteor Blade posted this some time back when his sister-in-law passed. May it give you comfort. Namaste
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there,
I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight
On the ripened grain.
I am the gentle Autumn’s rain.
When you awaken in the morning hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there.
I did not die.
My Spirit is still alive…
— Hopi prayer
I’m so sorry Susan.
Words cannot express the sympathy I feel.
My heartfelt condolences and blessings.
we are the stars which sing
we sing with our light;
we are the birds of fire,
we fly over the sky.
our light is a voice;
we make a road for the spirit to pass over.
algonquian indian cantation
Peace
Susan, I’m sorry to hear of your loss. That’s an especially tough one to endure. Thoughts and prayers are something that I know I can do to help. If there should possibly be anything else I can do, just ask.
Pleasure to meet you Jane, wherever you are. It’s a special woman that cuts a Tucker down to size and also might harbor the dream of lurid Senate investigations into Plato’s Retreat.
We were cheated by that Bolton recess appointment.
I am so, so sorry for your loss Susan, and please accept my deepest and most sincere condolences. I will keep you in my thoughts and eventhough I’m an atheist, I will pray for your mom, you and your family.
And one big hug for all of you
Susan, I’m so sorry for your loss. I’d like to link to The 5 stages of grief. Please know that you will go through these stages (not necessarily in their order) and you may go back and forth between stages, but that it is ok and healthy. Give yourself permission to grieve your loss and celebrate your mother’s life.
All thoughts here are with you Susan. Just take care of yourself now and let others take care of you too. You’ve been giving and giving and it’s time to accept alot of love.
Susan, I hope this is not too forward or personal of me but I want to let you in on something that I’ve sensed about you since I had the good fortune and pleasure to talk to you while I was in Crawford in August. It was your voice. It has a very strong and sturdy yet deeply caring quality to it. Your description of your Mother above brought those thoughts about you back to me and in my minds eye I can see your Mother’s hands and I can hear them in your voice.
I hope you will be ok over the coming days and I wish all the best for your brother as welPeace
My deepest condolences. ((((Susan))))
Dear Susan, my heart goes out to you and yours. As others have said, do take very good care of yourself. lots of sympothy and hugs, you way.
Love to you, Susan.
I am so sorry. Now you must take a whole week off for yourself.
And you must prepare yourself to carry that beautiful and vivacious spirit forward. She’ll be watching.
Susan, My condolences to you and your family for your great loss.
but, having just lost my father-in-law, I understand that there are some things worse than death. At least now her suffering is over.
Oh, and that picture set over at Eschaton is great. It reminds me of that Far Side cartoon captioned “School For The Gifted” where the kid is busily pushing on a door that’s clearly labeled “pull.”
lose one’s mother. It is the completion of the birth process. Take care Susan, and be sure to rest, easy to forget.
Jane…
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. Sending warm and loving greetings. Be well.
My condolences, Susan. Thank you for all you’ve done in the past few months for this site, despite your mother’s illness. It’s meant a great deal to so many of us.
Hugs.
And welcome, Jane. You’re posts on firedoglake are fabulous!
Coral
Susan, I am so sorry. But what a wonderful mother she was. You are very lucky.
Hugs to you and Darcy–prayers coming your way.
And welcome to Jane. Thank you for your excellent insights into the madness of our government.
And hugs, as well, to BooMan, who is going through hard times. Oh, my. Changes all around. I want to believe that these are all changes that will open the doors for good things to appear in all your lives.
Dear Susan,
I just logged on to Booman and saw this news. I am so sorry for your loss. Grateful that you had such a wonderful presence in your life and such a grand relationship with your mother. I love your memory about her strong hands and the fingerful of frosting that she always had for you. It’s a lovely metaphor for the kind of nourishment, sustenance and just plain sweetness that our mothers provide for us.
Take care of yourself. Pet Bear and say hello to the raccoons…
As requested, welcome Jane! I have been a long-time lurker at Firedoglake – it’s a pretty tight group commenting over there – and it’s become one of my favorite sites on the web.
Take care everyone,
Lisa
Thank you, Lisa … our lives do go on….. and one sweet thing that reminded me of that last night was, when Darcy and I got back, after dark, all the raccoons were gathered in the yard, waiting for me … they were so hungry, so we had to drop everything the minute we walked in, and give them some dog food and grapes.
Today, Darcy bought them Aunt Jemima microwave pancakes … as a treat. She can’t wait to see if they love them. She wants to put butter and syrup on them 🙂
Those things help…
And you’ve been through so much lately. The loss of your two special companions … our pets mean as much as everyone else in our lives.
Love you, Susan
Susan, I haven’t been having a lot of fun lately to be sure, but it pales in comparison to what you’ve been going through.
Just had to say it, no response necessary!
I bet the raccoons will love their pancakes – that’s so cute!
Susan, I’m so sorry.
I haven’t even read the rest of this–that one sentence stopped me.
Please take care of yourself.
Best, AP
I am so sorry, Susan, to hear of your great loss.
and kind thoughts go out to you.
and to your family. As others have said, my greatest loss was that of my mother. I often feel her presence although she has been gone now almost twenty years.
Please know I am sending lots of hugs to you. You have my # if you need to talk. Take good care of yourself.
Lee
So sorry for your loss — my condolences.
Susan, please accept my sympathies for the loss of your mother – it’s an extremely difficult time to go through no matter how much it was expected. Take care.
Moms are so irreplaceable. I hope you are going to be OK. Take care of yourself.
Jim
to hear of your loss, Susan. Take care of yourself.
Sorry your coming is a sign of a sad moment, but I look forward to your words.
Susan — been there, done that, got the f-ing T-shirt earlier this year with my mother. No matter the age of the parent or child, it’s never easy to say goodbye.
One request: do make time to have some sort of ceremony to remember and honor your mother, even though she requested “no service”. When my father-in-law’s stepfather (who was much more a parent than his birth father) passed several years ago, he also requested no service. This bothered my father-in-law greatly; he is a very spiritual man who felt that some sort of recognition was needed. He talked to the rector of our church, a very wise woman, who said, “The service isn’t for the dead…it’s for the living.” So the five of us (my parents-in-law, myself, my spouse, and his brother) gathered in the chapel of the church for a small service; my father-in-law read a poem he wrote about his father, and it was a very moving experience. I encourage you and Darcy to do something to honor your Mom’s memory, to help gently loose the ties that bind her spirit to the earth.
Blessings and peace to you and yours…
Sympathies for your loss, Susan. You’ll be in everyone’s thoughts tonight.
I’m very sorry susan. Having a parent die whether when you are young or old is something that can’t quite be explained as to how it will effect you and how the loss of their presence will never quite go away no matter how much time passes.
Everyone has to work through this blow to their mind and spirit and heart in their own way-there is no right or wrong way for mourning someone. Do what you have to do and know it will take a very long time really. Take care of yourself susan.
Like Tracy, I lost my first mother – the one who gave birth to me, when I was seven. My amazing good fortune was to be taken in by a wonderful foster family led by the most loving Mom any child could be blessed to have. My father took me away from them when I was 12 – there followed some Bad Years, but when I was grown I sought her out again and was welcomed like the prodigal daughter.
Her strength and wisdom and unfailing love guided me through the trials and joys of my adult years. She died three years ago at age 89. I will always miss both my mothers. It’s hard, no matter how old you are – or they are.
I’m glad you and Darcy had some time with her near the end. I will always remember the time I spent with Mom in those last days – it was a privilege to be there. You two take care of yourselves and each other. You are much in my thoughts tonight. As Ghostdancers Way and infidelpig have taught us – Wado, Sister.
Thanks so much for sharing your stories. They so eloquently portrayed your mom – in so few words.
When I lost my brother, I spent a great deal of time writing letters to his friends and loved ones, sharing past stories I thought they may find of comfort. It was an incredibly cathartic experience, in that the writing brought me closer to my brother.
When you feel the time is right, I highly encourage you to write – whatever comes to mind. I’d feel fortunate and blessed to read more about your remarkable mom – she’s obviously had a great influence in developing the strong, caring woman you are.
My heart is with you
Love, A
Greetings Jane.
.
Sit in shallow water near pond’s edge
Eyes just barely above water’s surface
To masque tears running by
At loss of a very special person.
Wish you and your loved ones all strength needed
To carry forward these coming days of sorrow
A blessing you and your mom were very close
She’s become part of nature’s eternal cycle.
There will be renewal during springtime
When nature blossoms to carry new fruit
Forests are replenished with new offshoot
Carry your mom’s image with you forever.
Susan, our condolences and take time
To be with your family in time of need.
BooMan’s Community thanks you for all you
Have done to make this a caring place.
Welcome Jane!
Love and (((hugs)))
Adrian
Susan –
My sympathy on your loss.
I share the following quote in the hope that you may find some comfort:
“Mayhaps a funeral among men is a wedding feast among the angels” (Kahlil Gibran)
Susan, I’m so very sorry for your loss. Having lost my own mother far too long ago, I know all the phrases and wishes you are sure to hear. They all fall so very short — words truly fail on emotions this deep. But know that behind these inadequate phrases are people who truly care for you.
Jane Hamsher? WELCOME! I’m sorry its sad news that brings you to our community, but I’m glad to have you here. I enjoy reading everything you write over at the Huffington Post, and think you are the cream of the crop.
hugs to you, my friend, and to your daughter Darcy.
Susan,
So sorry to hear of your loss. Don’t know what else to say, so here are some hugs:
(((((Susan)))))
Please don’t worry about us here; take as much time as you need; you and Boo have left us in capable hands and we can hold down the fort in the interim. We’ll see you soon under happier circumstances.
Jane, welcome to the pond! Sorry we had to meet under these circumstances, but I think you’ll like the folks here and we hope you’ll post often.
It will take a very long time to get out the “place” you mention. Then when you think you are getting over it, that feeling returns.
I feel for you susan. My best to you and your family.
My condolences and thoughts to you and your family on your loss. ::hugs::
Welcome to Jane, also — hop in the pond, the water’s fine.
I hope she lived a good life, knew love, had great kids, and was –as much as any of us can ever be — was ready to go. I hope you — as much as one can ever be — were ready to let her go.
It’s such a mysterious time, the passing of a parent. It’s so deep. Impactful.
Best to you during this journey.
My sincere condolences. I am sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself, and lean on your friends.