I knew this day was coming, but still it was a shock when it arrived. It had been an especially good day on Saturday, filled with moments so bright and sweet that you long, even as you’re living them, to hold this moment for as long as possible before it fades away.
What a normal day, filled with things we’d been needing to do for weeks but the boys’ schedules have been hectic with school and work and so it fell to this Saturday to catch up. There was raking to be done…lots of it. Between the 3 maples, the sweetgum, a massive oak, and more than a dozen tall pines shedding needles, we hadn’t seen the grass in weeks. The boys raked and hauled tons of leaves to the curb. Then they cut and edged the grass. When they were done we sat on the front steps and pulled apart a perfect pomegranate with our hands, separating the ruby-like seeds from the tough membranes and popping them into our mouths, laughing at how the juice looked like blood. With two teenage boys, this is what fun is.
Then the mail truck came and inside was this:
I know I am probably being too sensitive, I have an older boy who, six years before, had to register for the draft. But it was a different world six years ago. And we were a different country. So the arrival of this hard-ass American eagle commanding that my son register for the draft on his 18th birthday felt like a threat to me. They were coming for my son.
They want me to send this little blond haired boy, and two years from now they will want the fat little baby on his sister’s lap.
He is required by law to register, and that law is backed up by all the muscle and swagger of this government, symbolized by that hard-ass eagle. But I am serving notice that they will never get that boy. Or his older brother. And certainly not that fat baby boy.
I did not give up coffee and leave my chronic headaches untreated during pregnancy to ensure a healthy baby so that he could die alone on some distant battlefield for that hard-ass eagle. I did not nurse him for a full year to give him the best possible nutritional and immunological start in this world only to have the government expose him to toxic chemicals and leave him at the mercy of faulty or insufficient protective battle gear. I did not watch over him as he slept and remove every possible danger from his little world only to have hawkish cowards sacrifice him for the sake of their bad-ass ideologies.
Yes, my son is strong and agile. He would make a fine soldier. He would fight like hell for the right cause and probably be victorious. But this is not that cause, and you are never going to get him.
Happy 18th birthday, Colin. I’m still your mom, and I’ll still fight like hell to keep you safe.
Since there isn’t a draft currently, there isn’t too much reason to stick your civil-disobedience neck out for this. I suspect that you don’t have to worry about your son sneaking off to enlist either.
So future planning seems like the way to go — maybe talk to him about what he would want to do if a draft was ever re-instated and make your plans based on that.
http://objector.org/
I second DT’s recommendation. It would be wise to investigate all the ramifications of the CO process.
American Friends Service Committee Conscientious Objector Site
I read some comments during the anti war protests that it was a good idea to bring your kids and take pictures to show a history of them being involved in the anti war movement.
Surely, if a trend can be discerned over a few years it helps their case… and it also makes the kids aware of what the real issues are and they become little anti-war ambassadors so it is a win/win all around… regardless of those who say that protests are ineffective and soooo 1960’s (yes this is a jab at you know who)
It sounds like you’ve met my boys! 🙂 I’ve got the pictures from the marches, they drive their teachers crazy being loudly anti-war…
(and I don’t care what the anti-protest putz says)
Funny you should mention taking pictures at anti-war rallies…
Who would want those angels to go a kill other peoples children…????
Can you imagine what it does to your soul to kill someone? My God, I ran over a squirrel this morning for only the second time in 25 years of driving and I felt sick. On a related note, why do they run halfway across the street, then turn around crazily 4 or 5 times before darting underneath your tire?
why do they run halfway across the street, then turn around crazily 4 or 5 times before darting underneath your tire?
Funny you should mention this b/c I was biking yesterday, & almost flipped over the handlebars trying to avoid a squirrel that pulled the same sort of panic attack on me.
I am of the mind that your son should register but keep informed of options should the worst happen. I imagine under draft conditions, those who evaded SS would be the first sought out for ‘punishment’. It can’t be hard in this day and age to put together such a list.
Might be a good time to remind all that Murtha’s statements last week were actually either a draft or pull out. Since nobody is rushing toward the latter, moms like SecondNature are well advised to plan for the future.
Hey, they are ALMOST as handsome as the cabinboys! 🙂
Not quite though, I’ve seen those cabin boys! It’s so weird when they go from soft little baby faces and round little tummies to these men who sound like James Earl Jones and leave beard stubble in the sink. Watch out, Cabin Girl…you’re next!
Don’t I know it (that I’m next)…the older one is almost as tall as me, and has bigger feet than me now!
Oy. How did that happen so fast?
Yep, first it’s the feet and then…WHAM!
That’s a good start Parker but the Govt. will require documentation of these beliefs and activities beyond an anti-Iraq War protest. CO’s must be against all war as a matter of principal. Ductape Fatwa’s and Cabingirl’s links above are both good for this.
I know just how you feel – we’ve been there once already (after Afghanistan but before Iraq), and will go through it again next year. Couldn’t afford college without the federal assistance, so he bit the bullet and signed the form.
My wife has a streak of Missouri ornery in her that makes her say that she’s not interested in going to Canada no matter that Bush stole his reelection, or if he packs the supreme court and Roe is overturned, or despite the shame Bush has brought on the country by endorsing torture, or even the potential losses of liberties under the patriot act and the like. She wants to stay and fight.
But the one reason that she agreed would make her head
for the border in a second with a kid under each arm was if they restarted the draft. And so last December we all went and got passports, just in case we need to leave on short notice. The son who’s away at college keeps his there with him.
I pointed out that it’s not beyond this bunch to close the borders, in which case we have the doomesday scenario of reenacting the closing scenes of “The Sound of Music.” At least we all have good, heavy hiking boots, LOL. (I think that’s called gallows humor.)
But can you all sing?
If it weren’t for the financial aid for college I would advise my son not to register and see what they’d do. They got us by the balls on that one.
I pointed out that it’s not beyond this bunch to close the borders
Yunno just the other day I had this same notion flash in my head… in full tin hat mode… wouldn’t this explain the SUDDEN need to “protect the borders” bullcrap… my thought is that it is a pretense and the real reason is to keep people in… than to keep people out.
but just to be on the safe side, send him for his high school graduation trip to San Francisco; I’d be happy to take some shots of him in strategic locations in the Castro, and can probably round up a few drag queens willing to help a kid avoid military service. 😉 (“Don’t ask, don’t tell” my ass…)
I’ve had the form to apply for the local Selective Service Board sitting around…might be time to dig it out and send it in as a precautionary measure…
Believe me, we have talked about that angle. And with him in theatre he’s already building a foundation. 🙂
See email I just sent.
and lots of friends in the city that would help. The door is open at my house…and several others as a place to stay.
Just say the word…
I, too, know people who would love to help. However, iirc, the armed forces decided to suspend “don’t ask, don’t tell” at this time. Because many guys were claiming they were gay to get out of going to Iraq, their new policy is to ship them to Iraq immediately and then toss them out of the military when they get home.
They would use them as cannon fodder and then mess with their discharges when they got home…
Gawd I hate this administration!
What a hunky guy! What a loving mother. And Your writing in this piece is stunningly beautiful. Others have and will give you great advice or suggestions. All I can offer is PLEASE, keep writing. What a talent you have.
Hugs
Shirl
Shirl, I’ve missed you.
I’ve missed you too. Sometimes the world demands focus in other places that I would much prefer not to focus, so I have been more of a reader than a writer around the blogs lately. I think I can find my way back to floating in the pond and using my froggy flippers to flip off the dragon flies as they appear. <smiles>
I am always here abouts, just give a holler and I will appear, now that I have my magic twanger fixed.
Hugs
Shirl
You’re not going to want to hear this, but I believe that registering for the draft is not only required but necessary. An all volunteer military is ideal, but at any point may not be realistic. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t believe in what’s going on overseas at this point, and I certainly wouldn’t want either of my sons over there, but the world is a harsh place. There is no guarantee that the rest of the world is going to play any nicer than we are–which means we may need to raise an army in a hurry at some point, and that is what registration is for. (Not saying it would be used wisely, can’t count on Washington for that, only that it is necessary).
Bottom line, registration is required. If you don’t believe that it should be, fight to change that within the system. If you fight to change it within the system and fail, then you have a choice to make. If you cannot change the system from within, or you choose not to try, you should (imho) get started on moving to another country now–not at the point when/if the draft is reinstated. If you truly don’t believe in it, fight to change it, or find a place to live where you can count on others volunteering their lives to protect your way of life.
I believe we need a military too, and that ideally it would be all voluntary. If we would stop fighting these wars based on greed and lies there would be no need to reinstitute a draft. I’m not really that concerned that it will be reinstated any time soon. If we were attacked by an easily defined enemy and needed to go to war I would expect my sons to be in line with the rest of the young men to protect our way of life. But if they deplete their ready supply of bodies to serve as targets for this particular war and come after my sons for replenishment I will stop at nothing to make sure they don’t get them.
I can’t fault you for anything you just wrote–and I feel the same. Best of luck to you, and to all of us–lets kick the monkeys out of Washington and make the whole world a safer place.
i believe in the draft
if we had a draft people would think a hell of a lot harder about supporting wars and military operations and any politician who waves their big manly military penis around.
if we had a draft do you think 77 senators would have voted to give bush the power to be his bozo incompetetent self in iraq?
its not fair that mostly poor people are forced by their limited choices to join the military.
When I turned 18 in Oct. 1972, it appeared they’d be drafting a small numberof my age cohort.
In the actual case there was a downturn in the economy, driving an uptick in enlisments, so no actual callups occured. But that’s not the story…
By the time I registered, i’d been arrested 18 times for protesting the War. The first question they asked at the Draft Board: “Is there someone other than an immrediate family member who would know how to find you at all times?” “Try the FBI”
Have you ever served in the armed forces of the United States or any other Country? “I’m in the Peoples’ Army, and we’re coming to get you.” etc.
they classified me 4f-Adsministrative, roughly translates to “This one’s trouble, whatever you do, don’t let him near our boys.”
How else is he going to be able to burn his draft card?
<grin>
Seriously, I’d have him sign, especially if he needs the financial aid and the like that you can’t get unless he does, but I’d start making contingency plans. Just as a f’r’instance, I had a friend whose daughter was in my granddaughter’s dance class and we talked some politics in the runup to the election last year. She said she was going to put her son (15 at the time) in school in Canada because she’d be damned if she’d let Bush have him. I haven’t seen her in about a year, though, so I don’t know what the latest is.
And you might want to come up with something along the lines of, but better than, “I think it’s only fair to warn you that we shoot every third military recruiter who shows up at our door, and the second one just left.” They might take you seriously.
learning about current procedures for establishing a claim as a conscientious objector.
Does your son meet the three following qualifications?
These are the guidelines draft boards were last given for judging a draftee’s CO claim, based on established Supreme Court precedent. The Selective Service recognizes that conscientious objectors exist and is planning ways to put them into alternative (either noncombat or completely non-military) service if a draft is reinstated.
Our session leader this weekend told us that the basic idea is to document, document, document, and to start as young as possible. Here are the specific ideas he gave us for what to do with that horrible SS registration form:
Fill it out. In between the lines (NOT in the margins, as those edges will be chopped off in microfiching), your son should write:
**Note: I am a conscientious objector. Son’s signature, date*
And two reliable witnesses (like clergy or teachers, people with some position in the community) should likewise write between the lines on the registration card:
*
I, Name, Position/Title, witness Son’s Name’s conviction. Signature, Date.**
Make multiple copies of this completed card, and then mail in the card as required. A few weeks later, the SS will send your son a form acknowledging his registration, with a tear-off portion designed to submit any Change in Information. He should write in that section, “It appears you failed to note my claim to be a conscientious objector. Please correct my registration to reflect this important information.” or words to that effect.
Here’s the interesting part: The Selective Service will respond to this Change in Information form with an official, dated letter explaining that they are not interested in the fact of your son’s claim to CO status unless and until he is drafted. So what you will have at the point is an official government document that shows your son tried to identify himself as a CO before he was drafted. This is a good document to have.
Other things he can do is have people in his life — people with standing in the community — write a short letter attesting to the fact that your son is opposed to participation in war on religious, ethical, or moral grounds and that they find his belief to be sincere and deeply held. One young man in our meeting belongs to his high schools JROTC, and he’s going to ask his commanding officer to write such a letter for him — what more convincing evidence could there be? The letter should be signed and dated, and again, you should make copies of it.
Now here’s a really important trick to know. Any word-processed or typed letter can be written with any date at all on it, right? So how’s a draft board to know that you didn’t concoct all this evidence in the nine days between his future draft notice and his appearance before the draft board? Here’s how.
All those important letters and documents that you’ve been making copies of? Take each copy, trifold it, staple it, address it to yourself, and send it through the mail. It will come back to you with a postmark, which is an official, legal, government-created timestamp.
Next, make sure all this documented evidence is kept in several safe places. A safe deposit box is good. A file folder with your son’s important papers is good. Also good is an organization like http://www.CORegistry.org, which will keep hard copies of evidence supporting CO claims for anyone.
Document, document, document. Start now with your younger son, as well. I’m starting with my 16yo stepson, who participated in this weekend’s CO info session with me, and I take photos of my 3yo son at every peace rally we attend, for future use in case we need it even then.
I will also say that you shouldn’t feel uneasy about doing a lot of this for your sons, or nagging them into doing it. Kids this age don’t think about going off to war to die, and g-ddamnit, they shouldn’t have to.
Oh, and one more item of note for others who might be reading — there’s no reason to think that women won’t be drafted too this time around. I write about sons because that’s all I have. If you have a daughter who qualifies for CO status, get busy and document, document, document with letters and everything you can think of, because she won’t have the opportunity to make a CO claim on a selective service registration form like the men can.
I’ve got handouts and tons of links for further information — e-mail me if you need them.
Wow, that is some good information. I think that’s what we’ll do with the registration card, since not filling it out isn’t an option because he needs financial aid for college. Thanks a bunch.
You’ve got great advice. American Friends Service Committee, AFSC Here was a great help to many would be COs during the previous draft.
In all likelihood many CO applications will be denied. It’s best to prepare in advance for that scenario; documents will be needed that substantiate the application in case of court proceedings; and/or “travel plans; etc.”
Sorry, I won’t do it willingly when my son comes of age.
I remember when I turned 18. I can still picture walking up to the post office and getting the forms and filling them out. All the way up the steps and through the whole process considering not filling them out. Vietnam had ended just a few years before and it seemed unlikely we’d be fighting any wars anytime soon but there were no positive thoughts about military service wandering around in my brain.
I filled out the paper and sent it in. I figured I’d deal with the reality if it ever came to it. For me… it never did.
It is your son’s choice Mom. Hopefully you and he are on the same page.
Register with the SS at a consulate in a far off foreign country using a campsite as a current address. I’m sure there’s a tree near Kathmandu that has my change of address forms from the SS, cause I sure never got them.
😉
Clever!
I voted other because I’ve been counseled that the best current way to deal with this is to register but to do it as a CO and to make sure that when he does, if he does, to write in clear and large letters on the registration card itself the words Conscientious Objector. The Post Office may give you some crud about it but they are required to accept it. Period.
The next but most important thing to do is to begin documenting your son’s anti-war activities, memberships in pacifist and anti-war organizations, and people who can vouch for his beliefs, like teachers, clergy, counselors and so on. DT’s and CG’s links above will be very helpful to you and your son.
You are a fine Mother and your son is fortunate to have you. I recognize this because I was once an 18 yr. old who was fortunate to have such a Mother. That is why my 18 yr. old son has me.
Love to you and your family
Thanks to you, also. I think that’s what we’ll do…return the registration with our own modifications added. 🙂
Something important that I forgot to post. Though you say your son will most likely register there was something new that I found out this year here in New York State. For new male drivers there is a section at the bottom of the final drivers licence form that they submit at the DMV. It says in effect that by signing this document that they are submitting thier name for registration with the Selective Service System. So you see they have upped the ante here in New York. I’m not sure about other states but it’s probably something you should look into.
Peace :o)
GAAAAA! I’ll bet you that they have that here in NC as well. And this boy is due to get his final driver’s license on Nov. 30th…his 18th birthday.
Second Nature, I read your diary this morning before I went to work, and I had no time to comment, but I’ve been thinking about it all day.
My son turned 18 last month. The thought of receiving such a notice in the mail, that pumped-up eagle announcing that the government had come to claim him as its own, freezes my blood.
All day, one quote has been running through my mind. Adrienne Rich, in her wonderful book Of Woman Born, describes being out one day with her four sons, when they were children, and meeting and striking up a conversation with a French woman. At one point, the French woman looked at the four boys and asked, Vous travaillez pour l’armee, madame? — You work for the army?
As you so eloquently expressed, we did not raise these boys for 18 years just for them to become cannon fodder. We do not work for the army. This is what a militarized society demands of us, as mothers: resisting this demand is one of the most radical acts I can imagine.
I have no advice to offer, except to echo all the good advice others have given you here. All I can offer you is my support. I will hold in my mind the picture of those angel children, and that beautiful young man, and wish them, and you, strength and courage.
That’s exactly how I felt; like my blood just froze. You spend 18 years caring for and nurturing this little boy and then suddenly the government says “hey thanks for raising him for us, we can put him to good use now that he’s big and strong.”
I knew he had to register. It was that completely offensive and new (I think, at least I don’t remember it from my older son) eagle logo that pissed me off. Of course it seemed like a threat, which is obviously their intent.
Thanks for the words of encouragement and support. Maybe someday our sons can meet and figure out how they are going to fix the world.
I love the idea of our sons meeting — although I suspect the first thing they’d say to each other would be a complaint that their mothers hog the computer 🙂
If he ever needs to escape to Canada, my couch is cozy and – a must for any teen – I have an Xbox with many games. I tend to yell a lot during hockey games though, I hope he doesn’t mind… 🙂
Actually, I graduated high school only a few years ago and if my government here in Canada would have sent me a similar notice, I’m pretty sure I would have wrote “F–K YOU” and returned to sender.
I have a strong suspicion that if the draft comes back there are going to be many many couches in Canada filled with new American friends.
As for hockey, the best I can do is tell you that we have an air hockey table instead of a dining room table. It won’t make the cover of Better Homes and Gardens but, hey, it works for us!
center for info on this kind of thing. “Peace Center”? Can’t think of correct name at the moment.
That card is ugly. Sheesh.
Best to you.
The Quakers! Already in the diary. Great info there.
The US Govt meant has just openned its first move in its war against you. You should start immediately to plan your strategy. Flight is not for everyone; nor is CO status–though these are good options for those who are suited to them. At the moment of course, you will be taking no action at all–but there is all the difference in the world between drifting, and making plans for the time when action will be taken.
It is time for your sons to learn about options and think through what they are prepared to do.
OH Second, this breaks my heart… makes me hate this government beyond words.
You’ve received so much great info maybe some links in my diary can be of some help…
http://www.boomantribune.com/story/2005/11/10/125026/24
(((Second))) xoxo
Google or whatever on the “War Resisters League” or on the “Fellowship of Reconciliation”. Both could help or point you to help.
Also suggest some reading on the history of conscientious objection in the library just to see what the arguments are in support and in opposition to it. Two years ago, I read a wonderful history of this topic that traced its development from the revolution through Vietnam, and the direction has been moving from religious reasons as only valid basis to moral reasons opposing a particular war, but, of course, not moving fast enough.
It is hard to get conscientious objector status, so get information now and begin laying the groundwork.
Several of our troops have already sued the government charging this is an illegal, undeclared war and therefore they should not be deployed. So far, their cases have been dismissed (cowardly judges).
Good afternoon SN – excellent diary, although the topic sent chills up my spine. For your boys, and for all the young men out there in the same circumstances. Cannon fodder. Or “Sitting Ducks”, as Rumsfeld himself so eloquently described additional troops to be shipped to Iraq.
As a non-parent, I’ve often wondered how parents handle various issues with their children. For example, do parents of teenage boys warn them about the dangers of speaking to military recruiters?
I ask this because one of my nephews fell for a recruiter’s bait – hook, line and sinker. Anything my nephew wanted would be there for the asking – his choice of where he’d be stationed, his choice of what he’d be doing – you name it. And to hell with the warnings from his (obviously ignorant) uncles, aunts and grandparents. How dare they question the integrity of the recruiter – someone who was representing his parents’ beloved Commander in Chief. (Too bad for the military that my nephew repeatedly failed his drug screenings – in spite of the numerous products the recruiters supplied to rid his system of marijuana.)
Hey – now that I’ve mentioned it – could young men avoid service if their drug screenings come back positive for controlled substances? How does that work? (I’m not suggesting that you encourage the Nature Boys to smoke weed – but desperate times might call for the most desperate measures . . .)
On another note – it seems to me that in this day and age, girls too would be required to register. (If for no other reason than the government flipping the bird to women for wanting equal rights.)
I’m saddened for you, and I’m saddened for all the parents and young men out there facing this same dilemma. But I’m also heartened by all the support that came pouring in for you. Please know that this support system won’t be leaving. (While my knowledge may be quite limited regarding both the military and raising children, I still have the ability to conduct research on any given subject, should the urgency arise.)
P.S. You instantly won me over with your home “decorating” :^)