Over the past week, my wife and I have had probably a dozen conversations with Los Angelenos of various ethnic and religious backgrounds talking about the turkey they’ll be eating day after tomorrow. Doesn’t matter if they’re originally from Senegal or Guatemala, Belarus or Vietnam, Scotland or China, it’s the same story with all of them: turkey has to be on the table.
Not that it’ll be a traditional turkey dinner with cranberry sauce and yams and stuffing. Trimmings can range from Libyan tajeen to a cold Vietnamese egg soup whose name I’ve forgotten. And everybody’s bird seems to be done just a little differently. I’m eager to someday try Thai turkey, which I’ve heard is definitely not for mild palates.
I don’t buy the “melting pot” theory of American history, nor am I a sappy kind of guy. On the other hand, since I had my Thanksgiving “conversion,” I’ve found something distinctly appealing, yes, even uplifting about this widespread integration of cultures through the medium of food and family get-together.
About that conversion – normally, I don’t reprise what I’ve written previously, but today I’m breaking my own rule to repeat what I wrote at this time last year, on November 23, 2004. If you’ve read it before, I apologize:
I love conversation, I love food and I love celebrations. So, right now, with a four-day weekend coming up, I’m smiling ear to ear because we’re hosting one dinner party and going to two others for Thanksgiving. A few years ago, I wouldn’t’ve done this.
When I was a child, we never celebrated Thanksgiving. My grandfather forbade it. A white man’s holiday based on white men’s lies, he said. He was politically correct decades before PC became a cliché. This was doubly disappointing for me. I was born on Thanksgiving. Actually, November 28th. But in 1946, Thanksgiving fell on that date, and ever since, it’s been my designated birthday, whatever the actual date.
While other kids, including other Indian kids, celebrated Thanksgiving with all kinds of food, our house might as well have been shrouded in crepe. Based on what made it to our table, I think he may even have told my grandmother to cook less than usual. Nobody grumbled. My grandfather was an honest, principled man, but quick-tempered, and although he
rejected almost every other teaching in the Bible, he believed fully in the bit that sparing the rod would spoil the child. We were not spoiled.
We left the South and my grandfather when I was 10. I had half a dozen guests at my first-ever birthday party – on Thanksgiving Day – when I was 11. I was ecstatic. Every year thereafter, until my senior year in high school, I celebrated Thanksgiving and my birthday with a party. Cake and turkey. That year, 41 years ago, I began reading in earnest about America’s historical treatment of indigenous people, my ancestors.
That year, November 28th actually did fall on Thanksgiving. I didn’t celebrate. No party. And that’s the way it was for the next 29 years, during which I reiterated my grandfather’s warning.
True enough, the descendants of Massasoit’s Wampanoags who sat down to a feast with the Plymouth Pilgrims in 1621 after rescuing them from certain starvation got hot lead in return during King Philip’s War 54 years later.
And that slaughter – which allowed more immigrants onto what was once Indian land – kept being repeated for the next 220 years right across America. My own people – Seminoles, an amalgam of Creeks, Apalachees, runaway slaves and “renegade” whites – fought three wars, and kept a few slivers of their traditional lands.
Every year, I ranted about these grave injustices, and about the hypocrisy of Thanksgiving, and the fate of the peaceful people who suddenly were in the way. And then, a decade ago, I let it go. Not that I changed my mind about the atrocities that had occurred or the lies that had been told about them. Nor did I become enamored with the iconography of Thanksgiving, including elementary school displays of construction paper Pilgrim hats and feathered headbands.
But I got tired of missing out on the celebration and the food … and I missed having a birthday party. And I realized, finally, that I had missed the point. This year, I’ll be together with some of my best friends, white, red and black. As we have for several Thanksgivings, we’ll tell the children (and grandchildren) the true story of Thanksgiving.
And we’ll give thanks that we live in a country where we are not shackled to the past.
[Cross-posted at The Next Hurrah.]
You my dear man are one amzing person and one amazing writer. Thank you for sharing this life experience with us and Happy Birthday Meteor Blades.
…and Happy Thanksgiving!
Sometimes it does the soul such wonders to just let things go… Very touching MB, thank you. Happy Birthday. I wish you happiness, smiles and love.
<<clearing throat>>
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birhtday to you, Dear MB,
Happy Birthday to you,….and many many more…Hugs
All cultures have long considered food a central element of mourning.
😀
Turkey Tikka Masala
Turkey Enchiladas
Thai Turkey Bundles
Turkey with Cashew Nuts
Yom Tov Turkey Pie
Turkey Kebabs
Moo Shoo Turkey
I pretty much never got into Thansgiving except as an extended family thing, (my nuclear family having disintegrated quite some time ago).
Recent events have provided a more meaningful appreciation of certain things, (Life, basically), and with this new resonant gratitude I find myself able to repudiate the hypocrisy of the events around which our American “Thanksgiving” was created, and instead simply be thankful for the ability to still be experiencing life, warts and all.
I never sensed the power of gratitude until recently, but now I even get mushy about it from time to time.
As tricky as life so often is, I’m glad you all are here and that I’m here to experience the depth of that gladness you bring to life in my spirit. (See what I mean about mushy?)
As I mentioned over in Ductape’s diary, Canadian Thanksgiving is largely unburdened with history — there is some, apparently, but nobody Canadian actually knows it.
Most of us celebrate Thanksgiving as a simple harvest festival, and a dysfunctional-family dress rehearsal for Christmas. For years, I’ve avoided Thanksgiving for the latter reason, but in recent years, I’ve come around to being able to gather with dear friends, and with the members of my family that I actually like, and truly give thanks.
Enjoy your day, Meteor Blades, cake, turkey and all.
I totally understand. I used to loathe Thanksgiving (and Christmas). WHile growing up, Thanksgiving was frought with family problems. My mother would cook all day and well into the night, drinking all the while. There were many a Thanksgiving dinners that were not served until after midnight. These were often filled with stress and fights and tears.
As I grew older, I came to find out that my direct anscestors came over on the Mayflower and were therefore, likely involved with destroying the Indiginous culture. So, on top of my own personal family problems, the holiday then became a source of shame and guilt for me.
Then I moved far away from home and became one of the Thanksgiving “Orphans”. For a while, I made a habit of going out for Chinese food on Thanksgiving. That was fun. But then one year, I decided to host a Thanksgiving meal for other “orphans” (that is, people with no family nearby to eat with). It was a blast. I continued the tradition for many years. In doing so, I realized that family is not always by blood and that Thanksgiving did not have to represent the Pilgrims taking over America. I claimed the holiday as a day to break bread with friends and/or family and to renew our bonds. I recognized the holiday as a celebration of the harvest and a last feast before the winter.
I still live 3000 miles from my nearest family, and while I no longer host an “orphan” dinner, I will be helping to prepare another “friendly” feast. I can’t wait. It will be great.
I read this last night elsewhere, and now this morning, here. And I am struck once again by what a good writer you are, MB. Happy birthday.
I, too, am a Thanksgiving orphan, but I’ve never much cared for turkey, and even with all that’s wrong in this country and the world, I have much to be thankful for.
Not least, beginning with the help of Massasoit, without which I probably wouldn’t be here:
But the great wheel of karma turns, even in New England. I grew up in one of the towns that was burned by King Philip in his war, causing the settlers to flee to the relative safety of larger settlements.
For more karma, look up the derivation of the name “Sachem’s Head” along the Connecticut coast, and then consider who owns and profits hugely from the Foxwoods casino.
is what Thanksgiving is for me. Your birthday, for sure.