by Patrick Lang (bio below)
“They landed at a place called Plymouth (now a famous voiture Americaine ) in a wooden sailing ship called the Mayflower (or Fleur de Mai ) in 1620. But while the Pelerins were killing the dindes, the Peaux-Rouges were killing the Pelerins, and there were several hard winters ahead for both of them. The only way the Peaux-Rouges helped the Pelerins was when they taught them to grow corn ( mais ). The reason they did this was because they liked corn with their Pelerins.
In 1623, after another harsh year, the Pelerins’ crops were so good that they decided to have a celebration and give thanks because more mais was raised by the Pelerins than Pelerins were killed by Peaux-Rouges.
Every year on the Jour de Merci Donnant, parents tell their children an amusing story about the first celebration.” Buchwald (or Kilometres Deboutish, Washington Post, Nov. 23, 2005)
This secret (esoteric) history of the first Thanksgiving was discovered many years ago by Art Buchwald (a leader of the Brooklym branch of the “Illuminati”) whilst he was doing research in the catacombs located beneath the “Crazy Horse” saloon and “salle des danseuses” in Paris (France) (as opposed to Paris, Virginia). The document had lain there moldering amid the cast off “caches sexes” and empty cheese crates for centuries (maybe).
Buchwald successfully penetrated the exoteric “surface”of the text itself to reveal its true meaning. This technique of discerning the inner truth of history had been acquired by Maitre Buchwald while studying at the feet of a great scholar of such matters in Peoria, Illinois (or somewhere out there in the middle of the country).
Here, he shares his widom with us.
Pat Lang (or someone)
Col. Patrick W. Lang (Ret.), a highly decorated retired senior officer of U.S. Military Intelligence and U.S. Army Special Forces, served as “Defense Intelligence Officer for the Middle East, South Asia and Terrorism” for the Defense Intelligence Agency (DIA) and was later the first Director of the Defense Humint Service. Col. Lang was the first Professor of the Arabic Language at the United States Military Academy at West Point. For his service in the DIA, he was awarded the “Presidential Rank of Distinguished Executive.” He is a frequent commentator on television and radio, including MSNBC’s Countdown with Keith Olbermann (interview), CNN and Wolf Blitzer’s Situation Room (interview), PBS’s Newshour, NPR’s “All Things Considered,” (interview), and more .
Personal Blog: Sic Semper Tyrannis 2005 || Bio || CV
Recommended Books || More BooTrib Posts
Novel: The Butcher’s Cleaver (download free by chapter, PDF format)
“Drinking the Kool-Aid,” Middle East Policy Council Journal, Vol. XI, Summer 2004, No. 2
I didn’t think Buchwald was still around…
Buchwald was writing from France in 1953 for the Herald-Tribune. He was supposedly explaining Thanksgiving (if you can call it that) mythology to the French. It got laughs on both sides of the pond.
This piece is rerun every Thanksgiving by WaPo.
Buchwald was also responsible for the Eddie Murphy vehicle, Coming to America.
a “Masterpiece of Deftly Restrained Understatement” award, I will be submitting your name for consideration, based upon this comment alone.
And, umm, Happy Grande Fete de Merci Donnant. 😉
Pat, You’re a master writer. Glad to see you quaffed a few yourself on Thanksgiving Day. Heh heh. Your loyal follower, Arminius, who also quaffed a few after the damned tragic dysfunctional love em to death family members departed.
Arminius
Glad to see you are still here (somewhere.) I always liked your heresy the best and have enjoyed (over the centuries) asking Muslims to explain to me the difference between your “thingy” and their “thingy.
Pat
Arminius
I mistook you for someone else in the dim light. You are the victor of the Teutoberger Wald? pl