I am getting a late start this year but now the time has finally arrived for me to make my Christmas list.  I have been a very good girl, except for some minor exceptions, and I hope that Santa will take notice and reward me in good measure.

   1.  First of all, I would like a new scandal to rock the republican party because I don’t think all of America is paying attention yet.

  1.  I would like a Democrat with balls to announce a candidacy for POTUS.  This does not exclude women, but he/she must exuberantly stand up for basic Democratic principles and speak truth to power without any bullshit and without fear.  I think the country is ready for that.
  2.  I want Arnie Vinick to win the presidency on The West Wing, simply because Alan Alda is infinitely more likeable than Jimmy Smits, if a tad past his sexy prime.
  3.  I want Chris Matthews to shut up and let his guests answer the question.  I want Rita Cosby to get a voice transplant.  I want the FCC to force Fox News to change it’s name to GOP News.  
  4.  I want Arrested Development back.  And Scrubs.  And I want the networks to quit showing reruns every other week.  I want Kelly Ripa to gain 20 lbs.  I never want to see Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan ever again.  Ever.  And Anna Nicole Smith.
  5. I want God to issue an official statement, perhaps simultaneously on every radio and television station, publicly denouncing Jerry Falwell, James Dobson, Pat Robertson and the entire “Left Behind” series.  I want him to tell fundamentalists everywhere to stop speaking for him and giving him a bad name.
  6.  I want new lungs for my mother to replace her old ones with their 60-year buildup of tar.
  7.  I want the Muscular Dystrophy Association to announce a cure and give my nephew a last-minute reprieve.  His mother deserves that.
  8.  I want menacing drivers who tailgate at 70mph to be arrested and charged with attempted murder.
  9.  I want there to be a law in all movie theaters outlawing perfume.  And while they’re at it, stop charging $3.50 for a coke. And stop annoying me with 25 minutes of commercials when I have paid $7.50 to avoid them.  And turn down the damn volume!
  10.  I want a pill to give me energy.  And one to make me lose weight.  And one to give me back the body I had pre-children.
  11.  I want to finally figure out what I want to be when I grow up.
  12.  I want to learn to want what I have.  I want to stop feeling so damn discontented all the time.  I want to stop being afraid to fly.

Santa is in the building (or the Hanukkah….fairy?)….tell me what you want this year, and why you have or have not been good.

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