Hey that looks great! How do I get there? I really need to relax! I just realized that I can’t stand my new job and I have to get out of here, but there’s nowhere to go. I just moved here 3 months ago to take the job and it’s just not working out. I’m so unhappy, and I don’t know what to do! Should I look, or try to stick it out? There doesn’t seem like there’s much activity on the job market right now (I do fundraising and organizational development for arts non-profits.)
it’s always not good to quit a job when you don’t at least have solid leads for a new one.
That said, I spent five years not leaving a job that I hated and it made me completely miserable so I think what I would suggest is to give yourself a goal (I will quit if things don’t improve or I don’t find another job by some date).
Are the things that you hate improvable or are they inherent to the job or the organization? If they are improvable, what are the obstacles to making the improvement?
Thanks, Andi. Yes, money is always an object, but I think that there are elements inherent to this situation that prevent me from being functional let alone successful. The boss is a very stubborn and unenlightened person and won’t take any suggestions from anyone. I really think he is a snob and a bigot, though I’m not sure what he has to be so snobby about. So I feel like I’m running into a stone wall every time I try to accomplish anything. So far nothing I’ve done has had any effect, plus he gives me annoying make-work assignments so I can’t get any real work done.
I think you’re right that I have no choice except to deal with the situation and make the best of it until something else (hopefully better) comes along. I just have to get into the process of sending out resumes when anything promising comes up. Maybe I should also call some headhunters. I have wanted to call the headhunter who browbeat me into taking this position even after I initially declined and it and tell her it’s just not working out. But I’m not sure about the ethics of doing like that, since she has already gone to the back with her finder’s fee.
Does the organization of have a decent Human Relations department? If they do, I’d go talk to them — if for no other reason than to make sure that you “side of things” get documented. This may not be necessary but it won’t hurt either. And if it is a good place in general, they will want to try to deal with problems that hurt the overall organization.
As for the headhunter, I’d definitely let her know. Her career is dependent on happy customers. Whether you can get your fee back or not, she wouldn’t want you letting people know that she put you into a bad situation.
No there isn’t a HR department, it is a very small organization, but I think you are right that I need to document my concerns in some way. I’m not sure how to go about it, probably a letter to the director after I have spoken with him, a kind of “Memo of Understanding.”
Actually, I’m not the one who paid the finders fee, it was the organization, I imagine they paid 5-10% of my salary. So in that case, I don’t know if it would be a good idea to talk to her.
The fact that they paid that fee should give you some leverage — they aren’t going to want to pay it again. That should make the director even more receptive to a discussion.
Have you gotten to know any of the board members while you’ve been there — someone who might have a sympathetic ear with whom you could strategize?
None of this is to suggest that you shouldn’t consider other options but less stress at work will make job hunting easier.
Hey mythmother – I’m so sorry to hear about your work situation. An incompetent and/or evil boss can cause all sorts of havoc for you – in both your work and home life. From what you’ve shared, it sounds like the guy might qualify as a bully. And with my inability to stop myself from providing unsolicited advice, I’d like to recommend an excellent resource I discovered a few years back: http://www.bullyonline.org
Even if the guy’s not a certifiable bully, the site also provides a great resource for employees, and the actions they should consider: http://www.bullyonline.org/action/action.htm (Action Section #3 is particularly comprehensive and useful)
I’ve conducted much research on the subject of workplace bullying, and interestingly – each resource I’ve found has adamantly warned against going to HR. While realizing from your comments above that your organization doesn’t have an HR department – this same warning might easily apply to senior level people (as in – your boss’s boss, for example).
In any event, I think the site might be of some use to you. (Particularly the link with the “action” items – but the site in general, as well). Sadly – managers such as that reside in pretty much every company out there, but as someone who lived through years of torture at the hands of several reprehensible “leaders”, I agree with any thoughts you have about leaving the company. Or, depending on the size of your company, keep your ears out for departments with satisfied employees and good leaders. </unsolicited advice> ;^)
From family members who have worked in HR: Never go to them; they will identify you as a potential lawsuit against the company and immediately begin building a case for your dismissal.
I’ve really found that this depends on the individual case and the individual company. There are good HR departments that have serious goals of making the company a good place to work. There are HR departments that are scum. That’s why I asked if it was a ‘decent’ one.
Same goes for the director. If S/he understands that the good of the organization is a reflection of the attitudes of the employees, then s/he can be approached. If s/he just wants things to be smooth, then there probably won’t be much benefit in going to them.
It’s important, though, for mythmother to have some record of her concerns for her own protection — even if she doesn’t do anything with it.
Hey Andi! I just wanted to sneak back in here for a moment to clarify my comment above. Please know that in no way did I mean to discredit your suggestion for mythmother to go to HR. It’s just that my personal experiences aligned identically with each of the textbook examples where everything goes to hell in a hand basket when employees go to HR. (Just my personal experience – with a highly incompetent – and sometimes corrupt – HR department.)
And I couldn’t agree with you more about the documentation side of things. I still have phone records and documentation of work discussions dating back to the late 1980s. (Which gives you a little insight into my trust of others in the workplace)
Also, when I used to conduct training sessions for financial professionals, the first overhead in my slide shows stated:
What a great resource! Thanks, Anomalous! It’s on my favorites and I will read more when I have time. I already feel better knowing I’m not alone and that there is a process to get back in the driver’s seat emotionally even if I don’t have the resources to change jobs as soon as I would like to.
Stay with the job, for now at least, until you can find something you like better.
If you’re open to moving, check around to see if there’s someplace you might like better. Seattle, for instance, has a very vibrant arts scene, and ever since the state began enforcing a law that essentially requires theaters to treat actors as employees rather than allowing them to volunteer and giving them a stipend, theaters have been hurting (our neighborhood theater for instance had to cover a $70,000 shortfall this year after being in the black in 2004). Combine that with money in the area (Boeing, Microsoft, Starbucks, Weyerhauser and friends) and you may have an opportunity. Don’t take my word for it, and do your due diligence, and take all the mitigating factors into account (you may not like the climate here, or for all I know you could be in Seattle now), but there are probably opportunities like I’ve described all over the country, if you can just find them.
Think outside the box. Could you turn your talents toward a related field? Political fundraising? Working in a government arts department?
I hope you can find something. Being miserable in employment is one of the worst situations I can think of.
Hey, thanks Omir! Lots of food for thought there. The arts are really getting the short end of the stick all the way around. One thing I have thought about is trying to start my own consulting business, but the whole thing looks so daunting, I wouldn’t know where to begin. I think to get it going you have to be willing to work 80 hours a week until the business is up and running and can support you, and I doubt I have the stamina at this time of my life.
Seattle sounds great. You are lucky you live there!
Unfortunately I can’t. I seem to have the Helping People Out gene and the Giving People Advice gene, but not the Figuring Out How To Make It Pay For Itself gene. That’s the important one for consulting work.
Seattle is a great place. When my wife and I decided we had to leave Texas we did a survey and figured out that for various reasons, Seattle was the place we needed to go. Other than marrying her, I don’t think I’ve ever made a better decision. The scenery is lovely, the climate is great, and it fit in perfectly with what I want to do with my life (make computers). Plus it’s about as liberal a community as you can imagine. Lefties everywhere you look.
And that’s just the tip of it. For instance, I mentioned “our neighborhood theater” above, and that’s exactly what it is. It’s just a little over a quarter mile away from our house, tucked in between a carpet store and a coffee shop in a neighborhood shopping area. A very pleasant walk in the summer. They intersperse classics (last year, Shakespeare, The Fantasticks and Ibsen) with new works, they have an acting school and an improv company, and they add quite a bit to the character of the neighborhood. Unfortunately their budget problems are very real — they had to scrap plans to do Wilder’s The Matchmaker because the state auditor’s ruling meant they couldn’t afford the cast, and substituted a two-person play instead. I’m thinking very hard about giving members of our family full-season subscriptions for Christmas. They don’t use expensive wrapping paper, it’s something we all enjoy and it’ll help the theater out.
I don’t know if this is the right place to ask this question but I hope somebody here can help me or send me to the right place. My problem is that sometimes I’m able to rate and then suddenly no longer, even in the same thread. When I click on the arrow a black box around “none” apears and that’s it, any idea? Thank you
So far I was lurking and just about getting ready to jump in the pond but now I feel kind of hampered.
Hi, ch karin! Glad you jumped in. I don’t know what the people who really understand these things will say, but I can tell you I sometimes can’t rate, either, though mine only happens when I’m doing “dynamic threaded” and when a diary gets a whole lot of comments.
But please don’t feel you have to worry about rating here. If you want to, you could just post a comment like the one you just did, that says you want to give 4’s, but you can’t.
I would love to give you a 4 but right know again I cannot. But at least I can post. Thank you for the response.
I was lurking since pretty early on. I wrote a couple of comments, trying ro get a feel for the place and its people.
I am also a really slow typer so it helps that I have more time right now, so it seemed a good opportunity to jump in.
This is the only site where I’ve ever felt completely comfortable commenting and even diarying now and then. On all the others, except on rare occasions, I just lurk.
We take all kinds of typers here, the slow and the fast–and the incompetent like I am sometimes. I remember how thrilled I was to discover this site has spellcheck, lol.
Don’t feel hampered, as kansas pointed out. Someone else here is having the same problem –I read last night in a thread … can’t remember who it was though.
Sounds perfect to me, cold – hot tub yeah. I envy your snow. I live near Portland Oregon but come originally from Switzerland and I really miss snow. The season doesn’t feel quite right without it
Looks as if I may be stuck here as well, since there is no sign of a plow yet! I think what little clout I may have had went out the door last Jan. 1. They are still pretty upset about the ambulance thing and the valet parking scandal!
And taking a conference call in the hot tub … makes everyone on the call seem nicer. Maybe I’ll do my next transaction closing in the hot tub. Great idea Kansas. It’s snowing here in St. Louis so the hot tub idea is welcome!
Hi Kansas, Great idea… hot tub! I love the sign and also the pic in your comment. Here in Pa we’re getting ready to get walloped by a snowstorm and my own hot tub is down so thanks!
I have a bad case of poison ivy, believe it or not. A tree came down in the pasture and I helped hubby stack logs as he was cutting. Turns out that the thick vine that had been growing on the tree was poison ivy. On second thought, maybe I should stay out of the hot tub.
Slight change of plans (again! — I’m giving up on planning anything farther than 2 hours in advance): mattress will not be delivered until Monday the 19th! So, our bed assembly party will be next weekend; actually gives more time to get the bedroom cleaned up and to catch up on laundry. So, Kansas dahlink, can you erase me from hosting duties on the 19th and pencil me in again for this Monday the 12th? Muchly obliged, m’dear… 🙂
Mmm. Hot tub. God, if I had the money, I would go find a used one and slap it down in the backyard even though we rent. When I lived in Davis, CA, we used to hot tub hop — the basic idea being that the apartment complexes were so large and full of college students that the landlords really couldn’t tell apart that if you just walked in and acted like you belonged there, you could sample any hot tub in town.
Officially done as of today with all assignments, projects, anything to be turned in. Now I’m just down to finals, which should be pretty damned easy this semester.
Breaking out the cider already.
My puppy decided to celebrate the occasion by somehow getting into a cabinet containing fun toys like Q-tips, cotton balls, tampons (which she luckily did not eat, but merely scattered hither and yon), and a bar of soap that was apparently loaded with dye. So at the moment, she’s pink. Tickled pink to see me get home, I’m sure, until I saw the scale of the mess she’d created.
We totally used to do that growing up down in Florida, mostly on Miami Beach, where there were these fabulous hotel hottub and pool digs. I learned the rap early, and whenever questioned about whether we belonged, I’d speak for my group, “Oh we’re here with my mom, she’s at a conference.” There was always a conference, and no one ever expected a 12 yo to know what it was about so that worked every time. Best place to do it: The Fontainbleau.
Congrats on near-semester end, and I hope your puppy doesn’t suffer any ill effects from her shameless adventures through your sundries cabinets.
Well, on the plus side, the likely bright-pink dog poo of later will be easy to spot even though the yard needs raking.
She’s just a little late for Pink Week, a fine Sacramento tradition, which is a pity — but maybe she’s just expressing her need to be entirely randomly pink. I guess I can support that, though I wasn’t aware that puppies were so into such forms of free expression.
Eh, she seems okay. The only thing she seems to have actually eaten, as opposed to scattering in as messy a distribution as possible, seems to have been the soap. Which may well cause some… intestinal distress… later, but shouldn’t really cause any harm.
This semester has been so sucky that I feel a need to celebrate not just because it’s about over and I soon have a few weeks off, but because I feel I have passed some kind of milestone in educational torture.
I’ll have to keep that hotel thing in mind; we’ve got a distinct lack of appropriate places in downtown sac, which just sucks. Soaking (and drinking and smoking, ideally) was my nightly activity for quite a while, and I miss it. I was probably less of a spazz.
current annoyance aside, she’s actually amazingly well behaved for being 7 months old. I take her to the dog park frequently, and she’s usually among the best behaved dogs there. I’ve had about a month and a bit to train her, so she’s getting there.
In about a year, she’s going to be amazing. Right now, she’s basically good when we’re home, but man that dumb puppy shit drives me crazy sometimes — everything on earth must be immediately chewed and torn to bits. It’s why I was originally looking for an older dog to adopt.
But I wouldn’t trade her for anything. Except maybe a hottub ;). My cat would be pretty pro-that, I think; she’s basically gone seeking asylum downstairs with my roommates.
Of course, you can save all these thing my puppy ate stories up and then use them for small talk. One of our puppies ate my husband’s glasses but my favorite was the one who ate some software (a tape cartridge) which had been left by FedEx where she could get at it. She chewed through the cardboard box, the tape case, and was making good headway on the tape catridge by the time I got home.
I once bought an Aussie puppy who liked to chew as a gift for an ex — she picked the dog out, I just paid for him. When the ex and I broke up, the ex moved in with people I didn’t particularly care for, and the dog I bought chewed through a pipe behind their toilet and flooded their house, doing approximately $10K worth of damage. Please don’t think less of me for finding that hilarious.
My ex-husband moved out of the house we were renting and stuck me with all of the bills, including some back rent and huge utility bills that were facing shutoff. He left all of his crap there in the basement, intending I guess to get it later, and just moved into a bachelor pad a couple miles away.
Well, I found a cute little house to rent with my kids that was way cheaper, and we moved out in the middle of January when it was about -10 in Cleveland and I had the gas company turn off the gas when we left.
You guessed it didn’t you?…the pipes froze and burst, ruining all of his stuff in the basement and the landlord sued him for about 10K in damages. Of course it was all my fault. But it was fun.
This is one of his favorite whining points, along with having to pay child support. I got nothing in the divorce, we had no assets and I got no alimony. I just wanted out. You think he’d stop bitching, but no. And today is his birthday! It was so bad the last few years that I still get sick to my stomach just thinking about it…and him. So, Happy Birthday, ya big asshole!
Sorry, it sounds like he’s too kind and normal to do something really creepy. I’m sad that after 20 years of marriage I can’t think of anything nice to say about him. The latest thing he did was to call here last week on my son’s 18th birthday to ask the name of my son’s high school. Mind you he’s been in the same high school for 4 years now. We then got a letter from the child support people in Ohio asking for a certified letter from the school saying he was still a student and wouldn’t be graduating until June. The asshole thought he could get out of paying child support because he turned 18 but hadn’t graduated yet.
One of the biggest burrs in my ass about other people is the total inability to recognize/properly apportion responsibility. (Hypocrisy is another, I go immediately into a blind rage). My dad was the same damn way with the child support. You know what his child support was? $25/week.
Boy he sure found out how much my mom let him off when he divorced #2, and she remembered how things were and went through the state to get substantively more than that taken out of his paycheck for the two kids they had together. Their divorce was finalized like 17 years ago and he still complains about her, and hates that I continue to have a relationship with her — now that he’s married to #3, of course. I haven’t even bothered to meet this one. It gets old after a while.
Sounds like you made the right choice to get rid of yours.
If I had it to do over again I would have tried to get something out of the settlement, but I just wanted it to be over.
Now he is living with his girlfriend, has a brand new car, goes on vacations and has taken up rock climbing. And he calls the kids maybe once a month. Never even sent Colin a birthday card last week.
I just remembered…last year on his 17th birthday, his dad sent him a “sweet 16” birthday card. Duh.
I got birthday cards in #3’s handwriting ’til I raised holy hell about it. “Send it yourself or don’t send it at all. She’s your wife, she’s not your secretary, and I don’t know her, and you’re supposed to be my father.” To his credit, he’s sent a card on time in his own handwriting ever since.
Seems like such a small thing doesn’t it? The kids aren’t close to their father, but I’m betting it still bothers Colin that he didn’t at least send a card.
Thus officially ends my whining about my ex. I don’t want to give him the space in my head anymore. Poof!
He lived a long happy life full of liver treats, Frosty Paws, and visits to the Florida Keys where he’d chase Frisbees and other critters through the ocean, and then he passed away a few years ago, his “mother” by his side, thanking him for his time here and wishing him well as he went. I can only hope as much for own life. 🙂
Good Evening my friends. Oh boy a Hot Tub..how exciting. You folks think of everything. Tonight would be the perfect night since it’s a balmy 16 degrees outside..oops forgot wind chill…ok make that 2 degrees above. Maybe a toddy with the dip?
Welcome, sun bathers, snow bunnies, newbies & lurkers!
Please recommend this Cafe and unrecommend the old one.
Is there guacamole yet?
We got ’em both today. Love it!
We do, too, around K.C. Lots of both. Very pretty.
Hey that looks great! How do I get there? I really need to relax! I just realized that I can’t stand my new job and I have to get out of here, but there’s nowhere to go. I just moved here 3 months ago to take the job and it’s just not working out. I’m so unhappy, and I don’t know what to do! Should I look, or try to stick it out? There doesn’t seem like there’s much activity on the job market right now (I do fundraising and organizational development for arts non-profits.)
it’s always not good to quit a job when you don’t at least have solid leads for a new one.
That said, I spent five years not leaving a job that I hated and it made me completely miserable so I think what I would suggest is to give yourself a goal (I will quit if things don’t improve or I don’t find another job by some date).
Are the things that you hate improvable or are they inherent to the job or the organization? If they are improvable, what are the obstacles to making the improvement?
Thanks, Andi. Yes, money is always an object, but I think that there are elements inherent to this situation that prevent me from being functional let alone successful. The boss is a very stubborn and unenlightened person and won’t take any suggestions from anyone. I really think he is a snob and a bigot, though I’m not sure what he has to be so snobby about. So I feel like I’m running into a stone wall every time I try to accomplish anything. So far nothing I’ve done has had any effect, plus he gives me annoying make-work assignments so I can’t get any real work done.
I think you’re right that I have no choice except to deal with the situation and make the best of it until something else (hopefully better) comes along. I just have to get into the process of sending out resumes when anything promising comes up. Maybe I should also call some headhunters. I have wanted to call the headhunter who browbeat me into taking this position even after I initially declined and it and tell her it’s just not working out. But I’m not sure about the ethics of doing like that, since she has already gone to the back with her finder’s fee.
Does the organization of have a decent Human Relations department? If they do, I’d go talk to them — if for no other reason than to make sure that you “side of things” get documented. This may not be necessary but it won’t hurt either. And if it is a good place in general, they will want to try to deal with problems that hurt the overall organization.
As for the headhunter, I’d definitely let her know. Her career is dependent on happy customers. Whether you can get your fee back or not, she wouldn’t want you letting people know that she put you into a bad situation.
No there isn’t a HR department, it is a very small organization, but I think you are right that I need to document my concerns in some way. I’m not sure how to go about it, probably a letter to the director after I have spoken with him, a kind of “Memo of Understanding.”
Actually, I’m not the one who paid the finders fee, it was the organization, I imagine they paid 5-10% of my salary. So in that case, I don’t know if it would be a good idea to talk to her.
The fact that they paid that fee should give you some leverage — they aren’t going to want to pay it again. That should make the director even more receptive to a discussion.
Have you gotten to know any of the board members while you’ve been there — someone who might have a sympathetic ear with whom you could strategize?
None of this is to suggest that you shouldn’t consider other options but less stress at work will make job hunting easier.
Hey mythmother – I’m so sorry to hear about your work situation. An incompetent and/or evil boss can cause all sorts of havoc for you – in both your work and home life. From what you’ve shared, it sounds like the guy might qualify as a bully. And with my inability to stop myself from providing unsolicited advice, I’d like to recommend an excellent resource I discovered a few years back: http://www.bullyonline.org
Even if the guy’s not a certifiable bully, the site also provides a great resource for employees, and the actions they should consider: http://www.bullyonline.org/action/action.htm (Action Section #3 is particularly comprehensive and useful)
I’ve conducted much research on the subject of workplace bullying, and interestingly – each resource I’ve found has adamantly warned against going to HR. While realizing from your comments above that your organization doesn’t have an HR department – this same warning might easily apply to senior level people (as in – your boss’s boss, for example).
In any event, I think the site might be of some use to you. (Particularly the link with the “action” items – but the site in general, as well). Sadly – managers such as that reside in pretty much every company out there, but as someone who lived through years of torture at the hands of several reprehensible “leaders”, I agree with any thoughts you have about leaving the company. Or, depending on the size of your company, keep your ears out for departments with satisfied employees and good leaders. </unsolicited advice> ;^)
Good day and good luck!
From family members who have worked in HR: Never go to them; they will identify you as a potential lawsuit against the company and immediately begin building a case for your dismissal.
I’ve really found that this depends on the individual case and the individual company. There are good HR departments that have serious goals of making the company a good place to work. There are HR departments that are scum. That’s why I asked if it was a ‘decent’ one.
Same goes for the director. If S/he understands that the good of the organization is a reflection of the attitudes of the employees, then s/he can be approached. If s/he just wants things to be smooth, then there probably won’t be much benefit in going to them.
It’s important, though, for mythmother to have some record of her concerns for her own protection — even if she doesn’t do anything with it.
Hey Andi! I just wanted to sneak back in here for a moment to clarify my comment above. Please know that in no way did I mean to discredit your suggestion for mythmother to go to HR. It’s just that my personal experiences aligned identically with each of the textbook examples where everything goes to hell in a hand basket when employees go to HR. (Just my personal experience – with a highly incompetent – and sometimes corrupt – HR department.)
And I couldn’t agree with you more about the documentation side of things. I still have phone records and documentation of work discussions dating back to the late 1980s. (Which gives you a little insight into my trust of others in the workplace)
Also, when I used to conduct training sessions for financial professionals, the first overhead in my slide shows stated:
Document
Document
Document
Good day!
What a great resource! Thanks, Anomalous! It’s on my favorites and I will read more when I have time. I already feel better knowing I’m not alone and that there is a process to get back in the driver’s seat emotionally even if I don’t have the resources to change jobs as soon as I would like to.
Ooooh, best of luck.
My suggestions:
I hope you can find something. Being miserable in employment is one of the worst situations I can think of.
Hey, thanks Omir! Lots of food for thought there. The arts are really getting the short end of the stick all the way around. One thing I have thought about is trying to start my own consulting business, but the whole thing looks so daunting, I wouldn’t know where to begin. I think to get it going you have to be willing to work 80 hours a week until the business is up and running and can support you, and I doubt I have the stamina at this time of my life.
Seattle sounds great. You are lucky you live there!
Unfortunately I can’t. I seem to have the Helping People Out gene and the Giving People Advice gene, but not the Figuring Out How To Make It Pay For Itself gene. That’s the important one for consulting work.
Seattle is a great place. When my wife and I decided we had to leave Texas we did a survey and figured out that for various reasons, Seattle was the place we needed to go. Other than marrying her, I don’t think I’ve ever made a better decision. The scenery is lovely, the climate is great, and it fit in perfectly with what I want to do with my life (make computers). Plus it’s about as liberal a community as you can imagine. Lefties everywhere you look.
And that’s just the tip of it. For instance, I mentioned “our neighborhood theater” above, and that’s exactly what it is. It’s just a little over a quarter mile away from our house, tucked in between a carpet store and a coffee shop in a neighborhood shopping area. A very pleasant walk in the summer. They intersperse classics (last year, Shakespeare, The Fantasticks and Ibsen) with new works, they have an acting school and an improv company, and they add quite a bit to the character of the neighborhood. Unfortunately their budget problems are very real — they had to scrap plans to do Wilder’s The Matchmaker because the state auditor’s ruling meant they couldn’t afford the cast, and substituted a two-person play instead. I’m thinking very hard about giving members of our family full-season subscriptions for Christmas. They don’t use expensive wrapping paper, it’s something we all enjoy and it’ll help the theater out.
Gooserock…I forgot, are you on the seattle or kitsap side or…other?
I don’t know if this is the right place to ask this question but I hope somebody here can help me or send me to the right place. My problem is that sometimes I’m able to rate and then suddenly no longer, even in the same thread. When I click on the arrow a black box around “none” apears and that’s it, any idea? Thank you
So far I was lurking and just about getting ready to jump in the pond but now I feel kind of hampered.
Karin
Hi, ch karin! Glad you jumped in. I don’t know what the people who really understand these things will say, but I can tell you I sometimes can’t rate, either, though mine only happens when I’m doing “dynamic threaded” and when a diary gets a whole lot of comments.
But please don’t feel you have to worry about rating here. If you want to, you could just post a comment like the one you just did, that says you want to give 4’s, but you can’t.
We’ll take our 4’s for granted, thank you. 🙂
So. . .welcome. Have you been lurking long?
I would love to give you a 4 but right know again I cannot. But at least I can post. Thank you for the response.
I was lurking since pretty early on. I wrote a couple of comments, trying ro get a feel for the place and its people.
I am also a really slow typer so it helps that I have more time right now, so it seemed a good opportunity to jump in.
Karin
This is the only site where I’ve ever felt completely comfortable commenting and even diarying now and then. On all the others, except on rare occasions, I just lurk.
We take all kinds of typers here, the slow and the fast–and the incompetent like I am sometimes. I remember how thrilled I was to discover this site has spellcheck, lol.
Don’t feel hampered, as kansas pointed out. Someone else here is having the same problem –I read last night in a thread … can’t remember who it was though.
In any case, Welcome!
Well in this case I hope there will be a solution at some point. Thank you.
I’m glad that it’s not my computer.
Karin
Hi ch karin, welcome to the pond. It’s 26 outside and snowing in our part of southern Indiana. Perfect hot tubbing weather!
Sounds perfect to me, cold – hot tub yeah. I envy your snow. I live near Portland Oregon but come originally from Switzerland and I really miss snow. The season doesn’t feel quite right without it
Karin
It’s up to 4″ and still coming down.
So if I suck up to you now, will my road get cleared earlier than other people’s?
Looks as if I may be stuck here as well, since there is no sign of a plow yet! I think what little clout I may have had went out the door last Jan. 1. They are still pretty upset about the ambulance thing and the valet parking scandal!
I think you get a great big gold star for the ambulance ruckus — unfortunately, that won’t help you get your street plowed.
Thanks – I had a lot of help on that one. This one was much more fun…
Must venture out to a meeting now. I hope all remains quiet tonight. I dread driving a fire truck in this stuff.
and you be careful driving out there.
Must venture out to a meeting now.
You serving on the Streets and Parking Commission again? Nice sign, by the way.
😉
::rummages through pocketses:: I can’t afford a clean towel. Alms, alms for the poor!
Passing you a clean towel, on the house. Oh, what the heck, towels for everybody!
Thanks kansas!
Olivia will use her waterproof camera to take pictures of everybody’s flower tatoos.
I didn’t know you had a tatoo!?
Ha! Yes, I’m “virtually” covered in them. I believe today I’ll have a rose with FBC tattooed on it. (How many t’s in tattoo?)
Just say ‘tats’-that’s how people with lots of tattoos refer to them… and solves the spelling problem.
That’s a great idea but I’ll have to get a tattoo or two first. Anybody have any suggestions?
A frog, of course!
…smacks forehead in enlightenment..
of course!
to afford towels will be provided washcloths free of charge…extra large for any well-endowed males in the vicinity… 😉
(Comcast Internets down for about 2+ hours…I was going through major FBC withdrawal! 🙁 )
Thank you. The freebie washcloths are much appreciated. Could I have 2 of them, please?
extra large. . .
two of them. . .
My, my, ah think ah feel faint!
Well, they wouldn’t exactly have to be extra large if I get two of them.
hey, feel faint? That happens to me when I get excited and all the blood rushes to,….uhm,…my washcloth.
😉
she changes her mind.
have some Hanukkah Gelt
Those are purty. I don’t think our towels are quite up to deserving such alms as those.
probably not since 0inside Hanukkah Gelt is chocolate. But it would probably get Chocolate Ink to join up.
Even better.
Boy, I tell you, these waterproof laptops are the greatest, aren’t they?
And taking a conference call in the hot tub … makes everyone on the call seem nicer. Maybe I’ll do my next transaction closing in the hot tub. Great idea Kansas. It’s snowing here in St. Louis so the hot tub idea is welcome!
One of your ducklings fell in!
Hi Kansas, Great idea… hot tub! I love the sign and also the pic in your comment. Here in Pa we’re getting ready to get walloped by a snowstorm and my own hot tub is down so thanks!
I have a bad case of poison ivy, believe it or not. A tree came down in the pasture and I helped hubby stack logs as he was cutting. Turns out that the thick vine that had been growing on the tree was poison ivy. On second thought, maybe I should stay out of the hot tub.
Gak!! Poor Nag. Hey, you get on in this tub. Our virtual hot tub spreads no diseases and has miraculous healing powers.
And free towels, cha-ching!
OK, here I go. AAAaaaaahhhhhh…blub
Oh, much better. Um, if clean towels are extra, are dirty towels free?
<grin> I was wondering when somebody was going to ask that. Free of what?
They’re free of: poison ivy, STDs, slave labor, child labor, anti-union practices, unfair labor practices, inorganic materials, dyes, toxins, lead paint, mercury, dolphin-killing tuna nets, atmosphere-thinning emissions of all kinds, excess UV rays, O’Reilly talking points, and anything that eats frogs.
Well, almost afternoon here in Silly Con Valley…
Slight change of plans (again! — I’m giving up on planning anything farther than 2 hours in advance): mattress will not be delivered until Monday the 19th! So, our bed assembly party will be next weekend; actually gives more time to get the bedroom cleaned up and to catch up on laundry. So, Kansas dahlink, can you erase me from hosting duties on the 19th and pencil me in again for this Monday the 12th? Muchly obliged, m’dear… 🙂
Happy to. And don’t worry if it changes again. That’s what the eraser is for.
on the Australian Democrats site, but thought it was appropriate for this side of the Atlantic as well:
Make that “Pacific” not Atlantic…yes, I know where I am today (other than running around like a maniac)…
Mmm. Hot tub. God, if I had the money, I would go find a used one and slap it down in the backyard even though we rent. When I lived in Davis, CA, we used to hot tub hop — the basic idea being that the apartment complexes were so large and full of college students that the landlords really couldn’t tell apart that if you just walked in and acted like you belonged there, you could sample any hot tub in town.
Officially done as of today with all assignments, projects, anything to be turned in. Now I’m just down to finals, which should be pretty damned easy this semester.
Breaking out the cider already.
My puppy decided to celebrate the occasion by somehow getting into a cabinet containing fun toys like Q-tips, cotton balls, tampons (which she luckily did not eat, but merely scattered hither and yon), and a bar of soap that was apparently loaded with dye. So at the moment, she’s pink. Tickled pink to see me get home, I’m sure, until I saw the scale of the mess she’d created.
Maybe I’ll just toss her in the hot tub too.
We totally used to do that growing up down in Florida, mostly on Miami Beach, where there were these fabulous hotel hottub and pool digs. I learned the rap early, and whenever questioned about whether we belonged, I’d speak for my group, “Oh we’re here with my mom, she’s at a conference.” There was always a conference, and no one ever expected a 12 yo to know what it was about so that worked every time. Best place to do it: The Fontainbleau.
Congrats on near-semester end, and I hope your puppy doesn’t suffer any ill effects from her shameless adventures through your sundries cabinets.
Well, on the plus side, the likely bright-pink dog poo of later will be easy to spot even though the yard needs raking.
She’s just a little late for Pink Week, a fine Sacramento tradition, which is a pity — but maybe she’s just expressing her need to be entirely randomly pink. I guess I can support that, though I wasn’t aware that puppies were so into such forms of free expression.
Eh, she seems okay. The only thing she seems to have actually eaten, as opposed to scattering in as messy a distribution as possible, seems to have been the soap. Which may well cause some… intestinal distress… later, but shouldn’t really cause any harm.
This semester has been so sucky that I feel a need to celebrate not just because it’s about over and I soon have a few weeks off, but because I feel I have passed some kind of milestone in educational torture.
I’ll have to keep that hotel thing in mind; we’ve got a distinct lack of appropriate places in downtown sac, which just sucks. Soaking (and drinking and smoking, ideally) was my nightly activity for quite a while, and I miss it. I was probably less of a spazz.
I suppose it could really go in today’s dog blog, but, eh, she’s pretty funny lookin’. Good thing she’s cute or I’d have a dogskin rug right now.
All of her white parts are, at the moment, the flamingest pink you can imagine.
She’s adorable. And “dogskin rug” — hee.
I am a complete puppy slut and have already fallen completely in love with her.
current annoyance aside, she’s actually amazingly well behaved for being 7 months old. I take her to the dog park frequently, and she’s usually among the best behaved dogs there. I’ve had about a month and a bit to train her, so she’s getting there.
In about a year, she’s going to be amazing. Right now, she’s basically good when we’re home, but man that dumb puppy shit drives me crazy sometimes — everything on earth must be immediately chewed and torn to bits. It’s why I was originally looking for an older dog to adopt.
But I wouldn’t trade her for anything. Except maybe a hottub ;). My cat would be pretty pro-that, I think; she’s basically gone seeking asylum downstairs with my roommates.
Of course, you can save all these thing my puppy ate stories up and then use them for small talk. One of our puppies ate my husband’s glasses but my favorite was the one who ate some software (a tape cartridge) which had been left by FedEx where she could get at it. She chewed through the cardboard box, the tape case, and was making good headway on the tape catridge by the time I got home.
I once bought an Aussie puppy who liked to chew as a gift for an ex — she picked the dog out, I just paid for him. When the ex and I broke up, the ex moved in with people I didn’t particularly care for, and the dog I bought chewed through a pipe behind their toilet and flooded their house, doing approximately $10K worth of damage. Please don’t think less of me for finding that hilarious.
I find it hilarious too, and here’s why.
My ex-husband moved out of the house we were renting and stuck me with all of the bills, including some back rent and huge utility bills that were facing shutoff. He left all of his crap there in the basement, intending I guess to get it later, and just moved into a bachelor pad a couple miles away.
Well, I found a cute little house to rent with my kids that was way cheaper, and we moved out in the middle of January when it was about -10 in Cleveland and I had the gas company turn off the gas when we left.
You guessed it didn’t you?…the pipes froze and burst, ruining all of his stuff in the basement and the landlord sued him for about 10K in damages. Of course it was all my fault. But it was fun.
Sounds like it wasn’t all your fault to me, since a little responsibility on his part woulda saved him a lotta trouble.
Either way, though, yes, equally as hilarious. 🙂
This is one of his favorite whining points, along with having to pay child support. I got nothing in the divorce, we had no assets and I got no alimony. I just wanted out. You think he’d stop bitching, but no. And today is his birthday! It was so bad the last few years that I still get sick to my stomach just thinking about it…and him. So, Happy Birthday, ya big asshole!
It’s not fair. I need Jim to do something really creepy so I can something really vindictive to him and then share it with both of you.
Sorry, it sounds like he’s too kind and normal to do something really creepy. I’m sad that after 20 years of marriage I can’t think of anything nice to say about him. The latest thing he did was to call here last week on my son’s 18th birthday to ask the name of my son’s high school. Mind you he’s been in the same high school for 4 years now. We then got a letter from the child support people in Ohio asking for a certified letter from the school saying he was still a student and wouldn’t be graduating until June. The asshole thought he could get out of paying child support because he turned 18 but hadn’t graduated yet.
Figures. What a schmuck.
Is he nice to the kids, at least?
Yeah, well Jim doesn’t put his dirty clothes in the hamper, so there.
THAT BASTARD! lol
Throw him out!
One of the biggest burrs in my ass about other people is the total inability to recognize/properly apportion responsibility. (Hypocrisy is another, I go immediately into a blind rage). My dad was the same damn way with the child support. You know what his child support was? $25/week.
Boy he sure found out how much my mom let him off when he divorced #2, and she remembered how things were and went through the state to get substantively more than that taken out of his paycheck for the two kids they had together. Their divorce was finalized like 17 years ago and he still complains about her, and hates that I continue to have a relationship with her — now that he’s married to #3, of course. I haven’t even bothered to meet this one. It gets old after a while.
Sounds like you made the right choice to get rid of yours.
If I had it to do over again I would have tried to get something out of the settlement, but I just wanted it to be over.
Now he is living with his girlfriend, has a brand new car, goes on vacations and has taken up rock climbing. And he calls the kids maybe once a month. Never even sent Colin a birthday card last week.
I just remembered…last year on his 17th birthday, his dad sent him a “sweet 16” birthday card. Duh.
I got birthday cards in #3’s handwriting ’til I raised holy hell about it. “Send it yourself or don’t send it at all. She’s your wife, she’s not your secretary, and I don’t know her, and you’re supposed to be my father.” To his credit, he’s sent a card on time in his own handwriting ever since.
Seems like such a small thing doesn’t it? The kids aren’t close to their father, but I’m betting it still bothers Colin that he didn’t at least send a card.
Thus officially ends my whining about my ex. I don’t want to give him the space in my head anymore. Poof!
What happened to the dog?? I have two aussies.
He lived a long happy life full of liver treats, Frosty Paws, and visits to the Florida Keys where he’d chase Frisbees and other critters through the ocean, and then he passed away a few years ago, his “mother” by his side, thanking him for his time here and wishing him well as he went. I can only hope as much for own life. 🙂
ooohhh….Great I was worried! I moved cross country to keep my dogs, but I am alittle odd.
I need a Red Bull and Jager shot stat!
I am in need of alot of energy
Good Evening my friends. Oh boy a Hot Tub..how exciting. You folks think of everything. Tonight would be the perfect night since it’s a balmy 16 degrees outside..oops forgot wind chill…ok make that 2 degrees above. Maybe a toddy with the dip?
You think this is good, just wait until you see what’s been added to the evening Cafe that I’m about to open up!
You spoil us So
Me & the girls aren`t too late for a dip are we?
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Maybe this time?
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