I once stage managed a local college road production of “The Fantasticks”. The show was mounted for small schools across the Midwest and at one Catholic Girls school the nuns demanded that we change the lyrics to one of the songs. In the play two neighbors hope their children will wed and come up with the idea of kidnapping the daughter of one neighbor so that the son of the other can rescue her, which is when they meet two unemployed “villains” who sell themselves to the neighbors in a song entitled “The Rape”

“We’ve the obvious open schoolboy rape, with little mandolins and perhaps a cape. The rape by coach, it’s little in request. The rape by day, but the rape by night is best.”
Even after we showed the sisters in the Oxford English Dictionary from their own library that “Rape” once meant “kidnap” the nuns insisted that we change the word or drop the song. They even suggested we might use the word “Rendition” instead.

I was confused.  Webster’s unabridged second edition defined Rendition as “a performance or interpretation (of a piece of music, or role…) a translation or version”, which was the only definition I had ever heard of, as in we were doing our rendition of the Fantasticks. There was an archaic definition provided which meant surrender, but I didn’t see any connection between surrendering and “kidnapping”.

“You can get the rape emphatic; you can get the rape polite. You can get the rape with Indians; A very charming sight. You can get the rape on horseback: they’ll all say it’s new and gay. So you see the sort of rape depends on what you pay”.

But the Mother Superior opened the O.E.D. and pointed to the three definitions I had never heard of before – “A” was  the surrender of a place, garrison, possession, etc., which was a common usage in the 17th century –  Definition “B” was the surrender of a person – while definition “C” was the giving back of something, a return or restoration to the original owners.

Now the definition made some sense to me. I already knew the story of Martin Sobel who fled to Mexico after his espionage partner, Julius Rosenberg, was arrested. The Mexican police had “renditioned'” Sobel’s ass right back across the border and into the arms of the F.B.I.  Sobel even charged that he had been kidnapped by the Mexican police, and according to the O.E.D. he was right, not that anybody gave a damn. He was a traitor to his country and even the courts professed not to care about the circumstances of his “rendition”.

Douglas Jehl’s front page article in yesterday’s New York Times shows how predominant those O.E.D. definitions have become. It seems that that Ibn al-Shaykh al-Libi, the number three man in Al Qaeda at the time, who was captured in southern Pakistan in late 2001, had been “renditioned” to Egypt in January of 2002,  in all likelihood because they were experienced and willing to use interrogation techniques we could not legally use.  It was while in Egyptian hands that al-Libi provided details of Al Qaeda training camps in Saddam’s Iraq. The Bush administration used those statements to prove a connection between Saddam and Osama bin Ladin’s attack on the United States on September 11, 2001, which they used as justification for the invasion of Iraq in March of 2003.

 “The spectacular rape, with costumes ordered from the East. Requires rehearsal and takes a dozen men at least. A couple of singers, And a string quartet. A major production. Requires a set.”

But any connection between Saddam and Al Qaeda turned out to be pure invention by al-Libi, in fact a brilliant invention in that it led the United States to commit exactly the kind of strategic error al Qaeda must have been praying we would make – something to inflame Muslim populations against us and separate us from our allies at the very moment the entire world had united with us to isolate and eliminate al Qaeda.  And the Bush administration was warned about al-Libi’s possible motives by Defense Department Analysts as early as February 2002, a full year before the U.S. invaded Iraq.

“The comic rape. Perhaps it’s just a trifle too unique. Romantic rape: done while canoeing on a moonlit creek.  The gothic rape!  I play “Valkvrie” on a bass bassoon. The drunken rape. It’s done completely in a cheap saloon.”

Mr. Jehl’s  reporting now confirms that the reason the Defense Department Analysts were suspicious of al-Libi in 2002 was that they knew he had been subjected to “rough handling” by the Egyptians, something not shared with the Congress. Also in 2002 al-Libi had been “renditioned” back to the United States and once in the hands of people who supposedly would not torture him, he told the truth. He admitted his stories had been lies and inventions to satisfy the men causing him pain. When he recanted, his story was immediately labeled as “doubtful” – something else not shared with Congress. Torture, it appeared  worked against us in his case; which implied Rendition had not worked at all.

“The rape Venetian Needs a blue lagoon. The rape with moonlight Or without a moon. Moonlight is expensive, but it’s in demand. The military rape: its done with a drummer and a big brass band.”

I pointed out to the Mother Superior that while she was correct and rendition did mean to kidnap, rendition did not work because it didn’t scan as the word rape did.  She reluctantly admitted that I was correct, and then in her nun’s innocent dictatorial way, suggested we use the word snatch or cancel the show. She would brook no further dissention, so I agreed at once and that was the rendition of the Fantasticks we presented that night. “You can get the snatch emphatic. You can get the snatch polite. You can get the snatch with Indians; a very charming sight.”  It was a big hit with the girls.

“The kids will love it. It depends on what you pay. So why be stingy? Why Invite regret, When you can get the sort of rape You’ll never ever forget. It depends on what you pay.”

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