Booman City (FAP) – Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster High Priest BostonJoe suggested Thursday that Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon’s stroke was divine punishment for “serving pasta without meat balls.”
“The Flying Spaghetti Monster considers all land to be his,” BostonJoe said on his TV program “Noodles For Life.” “You read vengaza.org and it is clear that Israel and all lands are the domain of the FSM. Therefore, for any prime minister of Israel who decides he is going to serve pasta without meatballs, the FSM says, `No, pasta and meatballs shall go together. And tasty sauce. A stroke for you my misguided anti-pasto.”’
Sharon, who ordered Israelis to eat their spaghetti with plain marinara last year, suffered a severe stroke on Wednesday.
In BostonJoe’s broadcast from his Fazoli’s franchise in sunny Michigan, the High Priest said he had personally prayed about a year ago with Sharon, whom he called “a very tender-hearted man who enjoyed all types of pasta, and a good friend.” He said he was sad to see Sharon in this condition.
He also said, however, that the FSM makes it very clear that he will not touch those with his noodly appendage if they insist on eating spaghetti without meatballs. Most visions of the FSM have included meatballs, and conservative Pastafarians insist on serving the yummy pasta with meatballs, or at least meat sauce, in addition to the traditional donning of full-pirate dress.
Sharon “was dividing the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s land and I would say woe unto any prime minister of Israel who takes a similar course toward non-meat sauces,” BostonJoe said.
People For the Marinara, which monitors “Noodles For Life,” criticized BostonJoe’s remarks, calling them “an implicit rebuke to the loving nature of the revealed Spaghetti Monster to include all pasta eaters, regardless of sauce or cheese preferences.”
“Once again, BostonJoe leaves us speechless with his insensitivity and arrogance,” the group’s president said in a statement.
In August, BostonJoe suggested that the citizens of Dover, Pennsylvania had rejected the Flying Spaghetti Monster by voting their school board out of office for supporting “Flying Spaghetti Monsterism” and warned the entire town not to be surprised if pirates struck. BostonJoe later apologized for his remarks, saying he “spoke before his ravioli appetizer.”
