Today, I am simply too tired to do yet another gloomy diary on energy, or the economy, or whatever the latest scandal is in Washington or in Europe.
I’ve lost count of the time when I read or wrote on this site that this was the last straw, or that one’s outrage meter had gone red, or that that particular bit of news would finally tip the scales.
And yet, it’s not happening. We are steadily going number, and getting used to increasingly high background levels of outrage. Will we ever pierce through that mortal fog?
In some ways, things are even worse for us news junkies outside the US. While we may not be as sensitive to the latest anti-abortion outrage, or gay bashing, or reality denying soundbite from the right wing think tanks, we have to deal with the reality of the Bush administration, which casts its shadow on the whole planet – and we have to deal with our own mediocre, criminal or incompetent leadership. Chirac? Should be in jail. Berlusconi? Should be in jail. Blair. Bush’s poodle. Barroso (EU Commission president)? Blair’s poodle. Putin? War criminal and dictator. The EU? Bickering and unable to speak with one voice. And meanwhile, we get all the news from Iraq and other places in their sickening gore. We hear how complicit we are in running the Guantanamo Gulag. We learn how weak and cowardly our leaders are in facing evil, whether in Uzbekistan, China, Russia or in the White House. Plus we have to face the relentless drum about how successful the US economy is and how sclerotic, outdated and dying our own countries are. It’s irrelevant that it’s mostly not true, it’s the prevailing wisdom. At least you guys can still think that you are part of the most successful and dynamic country on the planet, no matter that that success and dynamism are captured by a happy minority at the expense of everybody else, and that it will have a terrifying price tag in the future.
And yet we fight, because we have to, and because it’s the right thing to do, and because we still have hope that it’s not too late, and that we can bring back some semblance of normality to the world, some decency, some reason, and that we can avoid all the dire scenarios so often predicted on this site.
But sometimes, like now, despair takes over, and giving up sound so tempting. Grab some reality TV instead of dailykos. Read your horoscope rather than the latest news from around the world. Go drown yourself in whatever activities keep your mind and body busy (including even useful things like charity work) rather than caring about where the world is going. There’s only so much outrage one can take.
Why don’t others just see it? Are we crazy? Are we actually extremists, out of touch with the rest of humanity?
Why are we so few in thinking that torture is wrong? That selfishness should be tempered? That there is such a thing as the common good? Why are we so few to care? How do we fight the fact that’s it’s easier to just tune out?
And why do I have to be insulted as naive, or parasistic, or lacking in spirituality or values?
I know how to fight. But why do I have to?
…because it’s the best way to infuse our lives with life.
Keep your head up, Jerome, you have plenty of patriots fighting alongside you. I also recommend allowing yourself some personal time to balance out the outrage. It’s what maintains the sanity. I articulated some of these thoughts here.
This diary is also about maintaining sanity, by keeping in touch with all the good people here.
It’s wistful, but not desperate.
Man. I think there must be a river of despair running through those of like mind. I can’t believe you are being swept up in it to (kind of hold you in high-blogging regard — as if you might be immune from these waters).
Take heart. You write great stuff. Shape reality. And even if there was reality in the thought that we, the liberal and understanding few, are in some way the extremists in this cultural discussion we are engaged in, then I am glad to be an extremists with fellow minds like yours.
It’s because they own television. It just means it’ll take a lot more grassroots work from us, to turn the tide. But we’ll do it or die trying. All of us together.
One of the ways to maintain sanity is by having a bad day once in awhile and realizing that you are not alone in that regard. Here’s hoping that you will soon be back to your fiesty self! My sympathies w/your family and friends…it ain’t easy.
Jerome, I thought there must be a dark cloud passing over Europe today – first Oui, then you. I know we all feel that despair, but not all at once. It’s just part of the natural rhythm. There’s nobody better able to dissipate the clouds than the magical Man Eegee, so you came to the right place.
Find something beautiful to focus on, or take a nap to cleanse the mind. From the Man’s diary to you – peace and love.
if you keep that up, Alice, I may have to pop a hole in my head to deflate it 🙂
Thanks for the kind words. Good to ‘see’ you today, I can always be sure to find you in the diaries.
Well, nothing specific on the public front (just the usual stuff – war-to-be in Iran, wiretaps, crooked politicians, ignorance of energy issues, etc…) but that bit of terrible news on the personal front taking its toll in addition.
It just makes you take time to ponder life.
I know we all feel that despair, but not all at once.
This is a very insightful comment. Most of do feel that “why bother; nothing changes” despair at times. But then someone else, who is feeling energetic and optimistic that day, stirs us back up. That’s one of the reasons I come here, in fact.
This fight- this fight against totalitarianism never ends. I am older than a lot of you,and have seen it before.The more aware you are aware,the less power they have.That is the beauty of the net. It’s a massive ‘teach-in’. Lest anyone believe I am a Pollyanna,I have been pretty close to despair many a time,but communities like these are a powerful,powerful tool.
I often wonder how many lurkers are out there?I bet there are lots. I lurked at Kos for about six months before even signing up,and then it took months for me to get the courage to say anything.I certainly never had the guts to jump in at the Whiskey Bar!But this thing is evolving,it will take time,just like anything worth working for.
Thanks Jerome,for all of your work over the years,and I and very sorry about your friend’s loss,I know that is hard for your family,for obvious reasons.
feed my soul with their energy and insight!
first there was a little band of brave men up in the northeast who took things into their hands to break the yoke of tyranny knowing well they were sure to face sedition and treason charges, punishable by death. But undeterred, they took up their muskets, left their women, kin folks and marched. Certain not of victory but that tyranny had to end.
Sometimes when it looks darkest, we miss the silver lining. Now, over 200 years later, the begining of the end has been launched. The march to take back our civil liberties, end the lies and smears have begun. Too many pin pricks in the political levees – too weakened to hold back the deluge.
Although we have many fronts to fight, I’m hopeful madness and tryanny cannot long prevail. As for the Iran war-to-be, it’s worth reading this post by Laura at War and Piece. Let’s hope a page will be taken from the Cuban missile crisis and that brave men will intervene. To go forward will unleash far greater consequences than WW 2.
http://www.warandpiece.com/blogdirs/003495.
I have a daughter and a disabled son. They’ll eat both of my children for breakfast if things can’t be turned around. I guess I’m in the same boat with Damnit Janet and it is something I just can’t stop doing at this time because they will wipe all of my DNA right off the map in the blink of an eye if I can’t end this insanity. My children are not exceptional white males and they have no silver spoons either. We all notice the fascism but nothing gives a parent the night sweats like remembering that the first folks Hitler exterminated were the gay and disabled and one or more of your children fit into those categories. Well, at least a parent with a conscience and a heart and a soul wakes up nightly with the nightmares!
Neither can I! After all that I have been thru in my life and beaten, someway, somehow, that just makes me more determined to go on–keep remembering that there are people who are worse off than me. My best friend said it best when one day I was bitching to him about life in general and how fucked up things are–“Yeah, but you survived it all!”
That’s what keeps me going–that I have survived–beginning to sound like a Donna Summer song–LOL..
We, meaning the blogosphere and others, will make it thru this shit. That’s one of the great things about BT, whenever one of us is having a bad day, others will help us pull thru it!
We’re all suffering, too. Being in the U.S. is the same as being outside the U.S. The U.S. is only a memory. Now there is just the 1/10 of 1% of ultra rich people. Everybody else is divided into two meaningless factions beneath the 1/10 of 1%:
Those who are willing to believe and obey
and
Those who aren’t.
I was born an “aren’t”, how about you?
I don’t think the number of bad news items is increasing so much. It is the glut of information that makes it unbearable. Look at these numbers, the crime rate in the USA has gone down 12% in the last 5 years, but the reporting of crime has increased 70%. Extrapolate that for all news (I know it’s a stretch).
Hell, this is the first time I remember someone mentionin g a decrease in the crime rate! Thanks for the good news.
It’s also the subtle strategy in how these news items are released and the reactions to them. Each violation of civil liberty that comes out, is refuted by the left, embraced by the right, brought to Dem’s (leaders) attention and swallowed by them gives the administration more juice to power up.
It’s like sports trash talk. BushCo is shoving this right in our faces and saying to the world that we’re powerless to do anything to stop him.
How long will it take to shut down sites like this one?
I think a newsie has a high anxiety level to begin with and seeking relief by keeping track of current events can backfire.
I think the American people have been analyzed, studied, measured, categorized, pigeonholed, targeted and sold to since the dawn of mass media, and we’ve become conditioned to believing we need everything from breakfast cereal to perfume because someone pushes the buttons that say “yes, I need this” and we often don’t really even know why, and they do it over and over and over and over and over again to the point where we expect it and think it normal.
So it should be no surprise that the people of America — who I think are overwhelmingly good, decent people who would do the right thing if only they really knew what it was — have been sold this administration, this war and this economy, and have been sold it so solidly to the point where they believe this is the way it’s always been, and furthermore it’s the only way it should be.
It’s hard to break that conditioning. It can be done, but all too often — maybe always — the person involved has to come to the realization that they’ve been sold a bill of goods on their own, and no external force will compel them to come to that realization.
This is only my opinion, but it comes from my experience. For a long time I believed the hype about what others told me I wanted, until I came to some realizations on my own. I realized that not only did I not have to choose between a Toyota and a Ford, I didn’t need a car at all. I realized that there was a woman out there who loved me for who I was, not because I was rich or drove a flashy car or lived in the right part of town or had the right job. I realized that our government was using 1984 as a playbook rather than as a cautionary tale.
And I came to these conclusions on my own, without anyone forcing me into them. Sure I had external data to help me make them, but no one made me make the decision. No one could have.
There’s probably a diary in there someplace.
Good thinking. And this artificial-life-style-of-consumerism-entertainment to dull the mind while the country is being militarized to death is what Bush/Cheney want to impose on the rest of the world.
Jerome, I have no answer to your question of when – at least not an optimistic one. I think there is no end to frustration. I believe much of that invective that is personal, painful, and so wearying, is because you are standing out in this struggle, a visible target for those who think that personal attacks are the best way to fight. You deserve better.
As one of the many who benefit from your wisdom and European perspective, what I want to say is Keep writing! What you are doing is so important! We need you to be strong.
Although that’s true, you also deserve to step back at times.
I suspect like many here, there may not be much divide between who you are, what you think about, what you do, and what incites you beyond daily and local life. Once in a while, at least, that daily life is a good and necessary retreat.
Were you & others here, I’d share my bitter chocolate-almond cookies. Duruflé Requiem or Charles Ives depending on the degree of agitation felt. (My husband says Ives is a warning signal to step back a bit!).
My thanks, also, not just for your writing, but for letting us see a little of the cost.
I’m sorry Jerome you are experiencing such pain and despair right now. I know I feel it too. There’s just so much work to do and when one feels there really isn’t anyone leading the way or taking charge it is hard to hold on to the positives we know are there, somewhere. There are so many days I want to just say Fuck it and run away to Tahiti or Fiji and live on banabnas and papayas and avocados and never look back.
Then the phone rings and it’s my son or daughter in law or grand daughter just checking in and letting me know(without them really knowing it)why it is I fight and struggle and care. It is for them! It is for our children and their children and future generations to come.
I know in my heart there is another America that was once good and right and a shining example in the world of what democracy looks like. That is not the America we are living in right now but if we all just keep chugging along and do our small little part we can, as a whole get what is rightfully ours, our country, our America back. Peace to you and your friends Jerome.
My Captain Future mantra is that hope in not a quality of the future, it is a committment in the present. Hope is enacted.
But of course I share these feelings of frustration and these days even of horror. The worst for me is the sense that there is somehow a malavolence at work beyond human ability to change, like the work of the gods (or maybe the Star Trek entity that literally feeds on evil and violence.) But ultimately that doesn’t change how I act in the world. We’re each here for a limited time only. My grandmother’s mantra in her last decade pertains: We do the best we can.
Personally I don’t feel guilty at all when I skip the news for a day or two and study literature, listen to music, follow quantum physics into other disciplines like psychology, rent a bunch of DVDs or pop in Marx Brothers movies, or just take a lot of long walks. Self-nurturing is necessary for the long run. (And life has gotten so much better since I ditched all the cable TV news channels.)
There has been a very palpable funk descend upon this nation lately. And not just among the activist types who read DKos, Booman, ET, etc. Everyone I know is kinda vaguely exhausted and blue and more cynical than ever before. Even the haters seem to be running out of steam.
You’re the only Parisian I know, and most of the people I know in Europe are Americans. So, do you think this is something spreading like a fog across the pond, the sense that thing are just getting worse and worse and it is almost all out of our hands and we only have the energy left to gripe?
Or do you think it is because you read these blogs and interact with us Americans and kind of experience this nightmare vicariously through us?
(Just trying to get a feel for the reach of Bush’s depression-inciting superpowers.)
I have been pondering myself recently.
I know that I have been in a funk and I know Susan has been in a funk. But we are both dealing with very difficuly emotional situations in our lives, and it is very hard to tell whether we are reacting to that, or to the state of the nation, or the time of year (bad weather, no sunshine, short days).
But, I can say this. The NSA story (really, its the Bush reaction to it) has put me in a very foul mood. They really have put us in a situation where impeachment is the only alternative, and everyone knows it, down to Bob Barr. And yet, we have them taunting us with bin-Laden tapes and threats, and the GOP has enough on their plate with Abramoff.
It is the ugliest chapter in American history since Nixon’s second term. And I am very down about it.
I think if people don’t demonstrate in the streets and get a little unruly, nothing will happen.
That shows a strong committment on the part of people, a seriousness and a PHYSICAL threat to the people in power that isn’t usually ignored effectively.
I agree.
Sunday Jan. 22nd at 10:00am. The Capitol steps.
I’ll be there as well as Tampopo.
Be there, or be somewhere.
It’s battle fatigue, plain and simple. Knew a lawyer once who said: “You can work 24-hour days in this business and never felt caught up. You have to learn to turn it off at 5:01 every afternoon and go home.”
I’ve worked with so many people who believed they could just keep going for 7-day weeks, and rest only when sleeping. They’re the ones whose business fails, who have extremely high employee turnover, and ultmately get injured on the job.
Like that lawyer said, the work will still be there on Monday. You, Jerome, and Susan need to take at least one day a week and veg. No news of any kind. And look at it this way, the Pond didn’t stop growing just because you guys took a little time for yourselves.
Ok?
It’s more than battle fatigue, rba. It’s sun deprivation, love deprivation, validation deprivation. It’s attacks on the site by rivals, by disgruntled members, by principled critics. It’s going through death and funerals, and disease, and divorce, and aging pets, and legal procedures, and on top of it all, the state of the world, and the state of the party, and the war, and on and on.
I’m hanging in, but it ain’t easy, and I feel Jeromes pain in the best Clintonian sense.
Jesus H. Christ, no wonder. You gotta get one of THESE:
(Img Src)
On the personal level, I think it is probable, and certainly hope, that you will never have quite this much again, and certainly not all at once. I am very sorry to hear that BooMan the pupdog may be aging.
Regarding the larger picture, it would be dishonest for me to pretend that the situation will not continue to deteriorate, and rapidly.
If you have the resources to do so, maybe you could take some time off with the pupdog and get a break, and a change of scenery. That will not affect the world situation, but it could do you and fur pooch a lot of good.
When the history of this era is written, people will wonder why we didn’t challenge its excesses, why we didn’t know the things we should have. If you’re still around, remember the uproar you do not hear right this moment and tell them the truth.
Ignorance was easier.
The Seattle Times: Opinion: Leonard Pitts Jr
I’m fighting because I have to. I’m tired, I’m angry that fighting is even necessary. I’ll keep on fighting even if things go to shit the way I think they will. I will not be stopped, I will not be silenced. Not by them, and not by my own frustration, exhaustion and anger. They may yet succeed in finishing the destruction of democracy, but they will not do it unopposed.
But somehas to do it. If you don’t, and I don’t, who will?
You don’t have a choice. Nor do your children.
It’s as simple as that.
Giving up never sounds tempting to me. I refuse to allow that thought into my head.
I posted smething for you in my news diary this morning…