The time has come…to be frivolous.
About The Author
BooMan
Martin Longman a contributing editor at the Washington Monthly. He is also the founder of Booman Tribune and Progress Pond. He has a degree in philosophy from Western Michigan University.
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Recent Posts
- Day 14: Louisiana Senator Approvingly Compares Trump to Stalin
- Day 13: Elon Musk Flexes His Muscles
- Day 12: While Elon Musk Takes Over, We Podcast With Driftglass and Blue Gal
- Day 11: Harm of Fascist Regime’s Foreign Aid Freeze Comes Into View
- Day 10: The Fascist Regime Blames a Plane Crash on Nonwhite People
…another couple hours ’til friv-time. 🙂
I made sure to google ‘The Anarchist’s Cookbook’ today.
Except I think Google is the only major search engine NOT giving the government their records. You need to use AOL, Yahoo, or MSN.
But when Google folds as everybody seems to be predicting, then at least I won’t bore “them” when they investigate my googling. Thank God, did you hear that Alberto busted ELF? Fuck, I feel so much safer! Those terrorists! They of course of have looked up my arse in my ears to get here, but they have pasted ELF and that is significant progress they just said!
They just said that ELF is a bunch of extremists. OMG, first it was Osama and now ELF! I’m scared, will someone hold me?
… but white supremecists and para-military groups aren’t – they are patriots.
It is amazing how twisted the country has become. Environmentalists = bad. Skinheads = good.
I don’t condone property destruction, but our government really needs to understand the differences between terrorism and sabotage. Nelson Mandela wrote about the difference in his autobiography “Long Walk to Freedom”:
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. ~ Albert Einstein
Hay CabinGirl, it’s almost vodka thirty!
Dude, we’re having margaritas tonight…you ready?
I’ll buy the first round! Drinks for everyone on the site!
Someone sent me an email about the shadowy Gary Best, and that led me to have quite a bad case of deja vu.
I wrote it up: here.
The couple from whom we bought our house candidly admitted that they had not had the septic tank pumped out during the eight years they lived here. And they had three children. We didn’t wait for the shit to rise up in our tub and showers; O no, we called in a pre-emptive strike. Good thing, too, that baby was slap full, seeping around the edges of its lid. Gag, what a job! Really gross. The contractor and his assistant seemed really happy with their work so I’m glad that the world has people who enjoy this sort of thing.
Do they call the tank trucks “honey wagons” out where you are? I always thought that was a wonderful triumph of looking on the bright side.
When I was just a tad, growing up in what was then a rural area, we’d sometimes see the manure spreader owned by a local dairy (long since suburbanized out of existence) driving along the road from farm to field. It was known locally as the honey wagon.
I remember this great skit on Saturday Night Live one time set in backwoods someplace-or-another where Gary Busey came through and said for ten bucks he’d take a dive in the good ol’ boys’ septic tank.
So they figure they gotta see this, they come up with the ten bucks, and as advertised we hear an offcamera splash. Then Busey, covered with nasty-looking goo, reappears and everyone comments on how bad he smells. He proceeds to sit down on their front porch, and proclaims that for fifty bucks he’ll move along.
Man Trapped in Toilet When Lock Freezes
have sex, Laura always has to be on top. George W. can only fuck-up.
Dick Cheney and George W. Bush were having brunch at a restaurant. The attractive waitress asks Cheney what he would like and he replies,” I’ll have a bowl of oatmeal and some fruit.”
“And what can I get for you, sir?” she asks George W. He replies,” How about a quickie?”
“Why, Mr. President,” the waitress says, “How rude! You’re starting to act like Mr. Clinton and you’ve been in office for your second term for only a short time now!”
As the waitress storms away, Cheney leans over to Bush and whispers, “It’s pronounced “quiche”.
I don’t mean to sound like a tin-foil hat wearing conspiracy looney bird, but could it really be just a coincidence that Usama bin Laden came out with this new tape at exactly the same time that Bush is facing a shit-storm for his illegal spying? Sure, bin Laden said stuff the administration wouldn’t want to hear, like we aren’t any safer now than we were before, but it just seems that whenever the administration is in trouble, they ratchet up the fear-mongering. So, here we have it again. UBL to the rescue.
And is the fear-mongering being ratcheted up? Big Time, according to Media Matters
It seems odd to me that Osama always comes out when Georgie is in trouble…and that they didn’t raise the Terra Lert level either.
In yet another of the great coinky-dinks of our time, the terra alert hasn’t been raised since–tah-dah!!!–just before the 2004 election. How ’bout that, boys and girls?
But I was going to see if anyone here came up with this idea. It is quite a coincidence.
How about this one:
Pat Robertson dies and goes to Heaven.
With his customary amiable grin Pat greets Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates: “Pete, my dear friend, I’m finally here to meet my maker. Is he ready to receive me?”
“Whoa!” says Saint Peter. “Wait a minute. What are you doing here?”
Pat is equally taken aback. “What do you mean? I am the Reverend Pat Robertson, the greatest Christian leader of my time. Surely you were expecting me!”
Saint Peter is unimpressed. “We accept the humble and the selfless and the peacemakers of the world. We have no place for bigots and hatemongers. We don’t want people who use religion to stir up enmity or to gain great fortunes or political power. We want givers, not takers.”
“But I’ve given millions to charity,” implores Pat.
“We don’t count giving to your own so-called charities, or ostentatious gifts to earn you praise or power.
“Don’t you remember the parable of the Good Samaritan? Have you ever given an anonymous donation to an enemy? What about a gift to a Jew or a Muslim or a humanist?”
Pat is speechless. But not for long. “Wait! I have given to a godless sinner. In 1966 I bought ten dollars worth of coal for my neighbor, Mary O’Conner, even though she was a wretched single mother who refused to accept Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior.”
Saint Peter looks skeptical, but pulls out the Book of Good Deeds and starts leafing through the pages.
“Hmmm. Well, who would have thought it. Here it is: Patrick Robertson, January 10, 1966: leaves sack of coal for Mary O’Conner. OK. But is that it? Are there any other acts of true charity?”
“Isn’t that enough?” says Pat. “You didn’t say how often I had to help my enemies. I demand that you let me in. Go and talk to Jesus. We talked all the time when I was on Earth. Jesus will tell you I belong here.”
A line is forming behind Pat and Saint Peter doesn’t want to argue any more. “OK, I’ll go ask Jesus. Wait here.”
Before long Saint Peter is back, with something in his hand. Pat is smiling again. “Did you talk to Jesus? What did he say? Is he ready to meet me now?”
“Yeah, I talked to Jesus,” says Saint Peter as he opens his hand. “He says, `Here’s your ten bucks back. Now go to Hell!'”
(from the Humanist Network News)
Seen on a pickup at an RV show in a notoriously rightwing exurb of Chicago:
“Oh Jesus, please protect me from your followers.”
oh joy!! Karl Rove is on C-SPAN boasting about GOP dominance.
up “entitlement believers”. I’m so tired of being called that and now they tell me that I’m totally fucked up because I thought I was entitled to my Constitutional Rights. Yup, I’m one of those “entitlement believers”.
Poor Rover. Could it be it’s a fall out from his frustration?
Rawstory and Thinkprogress are both reporting as per WSJ, Rove’s is frustrated over his uncertain status because Fitzgerald has not been seen much in Washington lately.
Gotta keep busy, make believe huh?
http://thinkprogress.org/2006/01/20/rove-frustrated
His Nibs and the First Stepford Lady decided to take in some local color on one of their sanitized, pre-screened, pre-approved trips to stump for whatever idiotic notion had wandered by mistake into the space between His Nibs’ ears and not yet died of loneliness. So they went to a local restaurant, after having the place scoured top to bottom by the Secret Service, the NSA and the Pretzel Enforcement Agency.
So the two of them sit down at the table and His Nibs has the First Stepford Wife order, because of course the menu is more complicated than the contents of the George W. Bush Presidential Library (except maybe the one that doesn’t require crayons to fully appreciate.)
So Her Nibs is scanning the menu and there’s a note that says they’re having a blue plate special today. Meat loaf. “That sounds good,” she says as the waitress approaches.
“Yep, it’s good today, hon,” she says, oblivious in the presence of royalty. “What kind of bread would ya like?”
“I’ll have a roll.”
“What kind of salad dressing?”
“Ranch.”
“How about your potatoes? Baked, mashed, or homefries?”
“Mashed.”
“OK, and what about your vegetable?”
“Aw, just give him the same thing.”
Has anyone done a study showing how much difference there is between the amounts of money various Indian tribes gave to Democrats before they (the tribes) became Abramoff clients and then after they became his clients. I remember reading one article that determined that one tribe gave less money to Dems after they signed on with Abramoff, but I wonder if there’s a pattern of this. If so it would sure go a long way to slow the spread of the Repub meme claiming Dem (and tribal) complicity in Abramoff crimes.
Could anyone suggest where I might search if I wanted to see who got what money from which particular tribes and lobbying firms? I’ve made some cursory searches but found nothing broken down into individually identified group payments.
There is a dangerous virus being passed electronically, orally, and by hand.
This virus has been christened Worm Overload Recreational Killer….WORK
If you receive WORK from your colleagues, boss, or anyone else, DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life!
If you should come into contact with WORK the emergency procedure is to grab your jacket and take to the nearest Pub, where the antidote, known as Work Isolator Neutralizer Extractor…WINE may be obtained.
Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated form your system.
Exhaustive research has concluded that alternative antidotes are equally effective as antitodes… particularly Margaritas and Micro-brewed beers.
Results may vary.
This has been a Pubic Service Announcement in memory of Maynerd G. Krebs.
Peace
They’re retired now, and it’s been a long time since they’ve seen any action. Like most old retired guys, they like to fish. So we find Jesus and Moses in a little boat on a lake in Heaven, backs to each other with their poles in the water. Moses turns around and says,
“Whaddaya think, Jeez? You think we still got it?”
Jesus turns around, cranky. “Got what?”
“You know, you think we could still pull off what we did in the old days?”
“You mean like you leading those poor Israelites around in that desert for 40 years, pretending you knew where you were going?”
“Well, I did pull off a few pretty impressive stunts, you gotta admit. You think we still could?”
“Aw, I don’t know. My back is pretty messed up, and don’t forget your hip.”
“I bet we still could….”
“All right then, try it.”
“OK, I will!”
Moses stands up in the boat and spreads his arms. The water in the lake rolls and boils… and parts!
“Not bad, huh?”
Jesus is hanging onto the sides of the boat. “Yeah, that’s terrific. Now put it back!”
Moses brings his arms together and the waters gather and calm. “Now you try it!”
“Nah, my back is acting up…”
“Oh, come on, ya old fart.”
“All right, all right….”
Jesus puts his pole down and stands up. He takes a step out of the boat, then another step, and another.
“What do you think?” he asks, excitedly. Then he looks down, and his feet are slowly sinking into the water.
Moses strokes his long white beard. “Well, it was probably easier when you didn’t have holes in your feet.”