A while ago, one of my dearist friends asked me to pass on an E-mail she recieved. Being the total rock star that I am, I decided to do her one better and put it up for a national audience. Anything for my sexy scorpio.
I know there isn’t a link, and I may be breaking format regulations, but I don’t think anyone will have a problem.
>LIFE WITHOUT BLACK PEOPLE
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>A very humorous and revealing story is told about a group of white people who were fed up with African Americans, so they joined together and wished themselves away. They passed through a deep dark tunnel and emerged in sort of a twilight zone where there is an America without black people.
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>At first these white people breathed a sigh of relief. At last, they said, No more crime, drugs, violence and welfare. All of the blacks have gone! Then suddenly, reality set in. The “NEW AMERICA” is not America at all-only a barren land.
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>1. There are very few crops that have flourished because the nation was built on a slave-supported system.
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>2. There are no cities with tall skyscrapers because Alexander Mils, a black man, invented the elevator, and without it, one finds great difficulty reaching higher floors.
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>3. There are few if any cars because Richard Spikes, a black man, invented the automatic gearshift, Joseph Gambol, also black,! invented the Super Charge System for Internal Combustion Engines, and Garrett A. Morgan, a black man, invented the traffic signals.
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>4. Furthermore, one could not use the rapid transit system because its procurer was the electric trolley, which was invented by another black man, Albert R. Robinson.
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>5. Even if there were streets on which cars and a rapid transit system could operate, they were cluttered with paper because an African American, Charles Brooks, invented the street sweeper.
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>6. There were few if any newspapers, magazines and books because John Love invented the pencil sharpener, William Purveys invented the fountain pen, and Lee Barrage invented the Type Writing Machine and W. A. Love invented the Advanced Printing Press. They were all, you guessed it, Black.
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>7. Even if Americans could write their letters, articles and books, they would not have been transported by mail because William Barry invented the Postmarking and Canceling Machine, William Purveys invented the Hand Stamp and Philip Downing invented the Letter Drop.
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>8. The lawns were brown and wilted because Joseph Smith invented the Lawn Sprinkler and John Burr the Lawn Mower.
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>9. When they entered their homes, they found them to be poorly ventilated and poorly heated. You see, Frederick Jones invented the Air Conditioner and Alice Parker the Heating Furnace. Their homes were also dim. But of course, Lewis Lattimer Later invented the Electric Lamp, Michael Harvey invented the lantern and Granville T. Woods invented the Automatic Cut off Switch.
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>Their homes were also filthy because Thomas W. Steward invented the Mop & Lloyd P. Ray the Dust Pan.
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>10. Their children met them at the door-barefooted, shabby, motley and unkempt. But what could one expect? Jan E. Matzelinger invented the Shoe Lasting Machine, Walter Sammons! invented the Comb, Sarah Boone invented the Ironing Board and George T. Samon invented the Clothes Dryer.
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>11. Finally, they were resigned to at least have dinner amidst all of this turmoil. But here again, the food had spoiled because another Black Man, John Standard invented the refrigerator.
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>Now, isn’t that something? What would this country be like without the contributions of Blacks, as African-Americans?
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>Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “by the time we leave for work, Americans have depended on the inventions from the minds of Blacks.” Black history includes more than just slavery, Frederick Douglass, Martin Luther King, Jr., Malcolm X, and Marcus Garvey & W.E.B. Dubois.
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>PLEASE SHARE, ABUNDANTLY
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Well, you heard the lady. Cut, Paste, Foreward.
To prevent confusion, “Tip, you Bastards” is a sticker you’ll find in most bars that have live rock and punk shows. I’m a bartender, so thats why I use that phrase. Don’t mean to insult anyone.
I reformatted your post.
If you would like to have it to edit your diary, put up an email address and I’ll pass it along.
we only learn about the slave part.
Thank dawg for public libraries so she could read about the inventors, the creators, the dreamers, the poets.
Thanks for the shared email McGirk. Now where’s my Calypso Cooler?? 🙂
That was great, I am passing it along, thanks…
Excellent post!
So where do you tend bar? Just email me if you don’t want the info in front of an international audience 🙂
locations vary. If your at all familliar with the San Francisco arts/rave scene, you’ll find me eventully.
Previously at the Americana hotel, Talk of the Town, and the Tempest.
White, Black, Brown, Caramel, Almond, Mocha or Creme Brulee.
And if you know any school board members, pass it along to them, as it has come to your notice that the children in your district are not being taught American history.
essay about the bigoted Englishman wishing to be rid of the Scot, who he finds invented steam engines, raincoats, asphalt pavement, penicillin, the electromagnetic equations leading to Relativity, etc.
I think it’s wonderful to see this recast for African-Americans.
In our house, we’ll find a place to hang the two stories side by side!
Someone should come up with a world with no English royalty or “Gentleman”. You would have a lot of happy Irish, Black, Welsh, Native Americans, Indians, Scots, Arabs, French, Aboriginies, Chinies and Sex Pistols. and the happiest of all would be Englishmen.