Lately, I don’t feel like reading diaries, I don’t feel like commenting, I don’t feel like giving 4s, watching hearings or press conferences or anything. And when I ask myself why, I have only one real answer:
I’m no longer enjoying Groundhog Day!
You know, the Bill Murray movie where every morning he wakes up and seemingly no matter what he does or does not do he lives the same day over and over and over again? Remember our many moments of shared glee that this time old Karl and the Bushistas were going down? How many times we had all thought that finally we/they/anybody had proven something so heinous had been done by BushCo that it would break through the wall of denial and the next morning we awoke to the same brainless, oxygenless, intolerable existence all over again?
Valerie Plame, Downing street minutes and memos and adendums, Harriet Miers, (remember her?), Senators falling to their knees and slurping Alito, Abu Ghraib, Blackwater Security and mercenaries and enemas on airplanes, no WMD’s, Osama who?, Hurricane Katrina and the drowning of New Orleans and revealed emails about wardrobe adjustments and pets, Vote results, Thousands of people in Crawford followed by hundreds of thousands in DC to protest the war, The non-swearing in of Gonzales this week for the NSA sham hearings, Ohio’s voting irregularities are now confirmed along with missing coin investments but nobody seems to care, Tom Delay and Abramoff, Duke Cunningham, Replacing Delay with the Boehner clone, Bill O’Reilly likes to molest women in the shower with falafel and people still listen to him and find him credible, Repubs making a fine showing at Coretta Scott King’s funeral (when there are no black Republicans in congress), Alito attending Rosa Parks’ funeral/viewing, Recess appointments of Bush cronies to skirt senate opposition such as Bolton, Spakovsky(former GOP chairman from Georgia for FEC chairman), Julie Meyers (the beloved loyal daughter to soldier sacrificing Royal Rummy Ass Sucking General Myers is now Director of Homeland Security Bureau of Immigration and Customs Enforcement), Timing of Scooter Libby’s trial after the 2006 elections, NYT sitting on the NSA illegal wiretap story until after 2004 elections, Appointment/promotion of the lead investigator on Abramoff to a judgeship, Enron and the Energy Task Force, Gannon/Guckert being the uneducated journalist and On-Top prostitute plant in the White House Press Corps, The indifference of the press to the destruction of White House emails relating to Plamegate, The Medicare D Hell, the pie wars (oh wait, that wasn’t Bush) are all too much and too many!
Just a silly notion but I wonder if we aren’t all a bit suicidal right now? I was going to connect all of the above items to an article of some kind but the kitchen knives started looking good. Then I realized how stupid that would have been because it isn’t as if you all don’t know all of this shit better than I do. I’m new here! I called up my friend Crabbin Girl, who joined up here with me, because I needed help remembering all this stuff and how much of it there was. It is possible that some items aren’t even listed but she has the flu and after helping me she had to take another heaping helping of medicines. She seemed almost well before helping me.
Did you wake up this morning and discover that you were still an American?
Did you wake up this morning and discover that you are still an atheist?
Did you wake up this morning and discover that you were still a Buddhist?
Did you wake up this morning and discover that you were still a member of the reality based human beings?
Did you wake up this morning and discover that you were still disabled?
Did you wake up this morning and discover that you still don’t have health coverage?
Did you wake up this morning and discover that you were still the wrong the color?
Did you wake up this morning and discover that you still have a vagina and perhaps a uterus and probably even ovaries?
Did you wake up this morning and discover that you are still gay?
Did you wake up this morning to discover that you still think for yourself?
Did you wake up this morning and discover that you still got all A’s in Science?
Did you wake up this morning still unemployed and therefore have no reason to change out of your jammies?
Did you wake up this morning to discover that people were still missing and bodies still unidentified in New Orleans?
Did you wake up this morning and still miss your right to privacy?
Did you wake up this morning and still miss when your vote counted?
Did you wake up this morning and discover that you are still a feminist and how you live your life and what you value is your choice?
Did you wake up again this morning and miss your own fearless freedom of speech so much that it was painful and you became angst driven?
Did you wake up this morning and you were still poor and you were still hungry?
Did you wake up this morning and discover that at one time you had still volunteered to protect your nation and now you were doomed to hell until further notice?
Did you wake up this morning and that smirking little motherfucker was on T.V. again?
Did you wake up this morning and find that there was still nothing of any real or major importance on the main stream news channels?
Did you wake up this morning after 6 years of this and still find yourself worried and scared and sometimes near tears wondering if maybe there is a better place to live and raise our children in. A better community somewhere else on the planet far away from these insane fuckers?
All of the above. Can we do a tandem jump off the clock tower together?
Maybe tomorrow, I have plans with the toaster today…
If you remember the film, which was based on some very realistic thoughts about life in it’s fantasy, the way Murray escapes Groundhog’s Day repeating itself over and over — is service to others.
When he becomes concerned with making it a better day, not just for himself, but for everyone trapped in that day, a brighter day dawns.
So if you feel trapped, don’t post, don’t read posts — act!
Only by letting go of your feeling of being trapped, by helping others in that trap — we will all escape Groundhog’s Day.
Tracy,
I haven’t read the complete diary here yet but I want you to know that my answer to all your questions is yes. I’m right there.
I’ll come back after I’ve read this through.
Hang in there sister Tracy.
My apologies. Maybe I need glasses afterall.
Great diary btw.
But your name and Crabbin Girl’s had me doin a double take!
You can jump with us!
Go ahead and jump.
I’m sticking it out for now, or at least until I pack my parachute.
Cut it to 1 question; Did you wake up and finf that everything still sucks? yes!!
You guys crack me up.
I’d jump with you but I’m chicken.
remember the guy who actually did commit suicide right after the election (as I recall, specifically stating the election results as his motive? sorry, no time to dig up the links)….
Bet he’s rolling in his grave thinking, “toldya suckers!”
I say: no collective suicide.
Class action lawsuit against B*shCo.
For what?
Physical, psychological and economic duress?
(c’mon legal minds fill in the blanks for me on that one….)
I am afraid we are part of a historical movement that is far beyond anyone´s power to stop. It seems history has a life of it´s own and acts independently somehow on the humans who imagine they have the ability to control something that originates in nature.
Fundamentalism, conservatism is a world wide event. The Soviet Union and China have become more conservative as has the United States, the Muslim world too. Something is happening and people like Bush are front men for this historical force.
I am afraid we are just along for ride.
That this is going to be similar to what happened during the Crusades and in other times and other places seems obvious.
and progressive.
I am in South America. Except for Chavez no one here seems to be so sure that anything is really moving to the left. Once they get into office, it seems they shift right.
I had an interesting conversation with a mother of the dissappeared in Buenos Aires. She wondered why no one was taking to the streets against Bush. And everyone I talk to says why are the American people voting for Bush two times and allowing him to dissappear people.
I tell them my answer, my opinion is that the American people are to blame along with Bush. And of course, then they open up more because that is what most people think anyway and it´s true.
By the way, there are places here that are much nicer in terms of quality of life than anywhere in the mythical United States. I am in Valdavia Chile right now. I haven´t seen a city anywhere in the US as modern, clean and beautiful.
Yep. And the sooner the American people get over their denial, the sooner we can begin “making amends.” But I seriously doubt it’s going to happen. There have been too many years of brainwashing and willfully drinking the Koolaid. Americans will NEVER look in the mirror.
Pssst. SHHHHH! If you let word get out, the Americans will start flocking down there and fucking up the place.
I made that mistake with certain “best kept secrets” in Africa. Never again.
Ya gotta go.
Suggest you look around for a one-story building, though. Gonna pretty much have a new cast of characters beginning this November, and a couple of new actors in the leads in ’08.
At least that will be different.
Yesterday, I wrote this:
Something is happening to me: The more physical labor I do, in my garden and renovating the house, the less I care about politics. It feels like a diversion from reality and, I think, that’s what it is meant to be. The Kabuki theater of hearings and confirmations where the result is already a done deal is merely so much pre-planned outrage to suck my energies. It leaves me depressed and despairing. And that’s what Those Who Rule want, isn’t it? They want me to feel powerless… and afraid.
Maybe Those Who Rule will decide to let the Democrats take back the House in November and entertain us all with impeachment proceedings. That, too, will be a distraction from the fact that TWR will continue to consolidate their wealth, power and privilege. Some of us little serfs will feel vindicated and empowered without actually having any power at all over the future of our country or the world. Other serfs will hate our guts from bringing down their Bush-god. The masses will remain fractured and at odds with one another while TWR look down on us and laugh. They are so clever that most of their names and faces are completely unknown to us.
Reality is loving my husband, children and grandchildren and being loved by them. Reality is the house I live in, maintaining it and fixing it up to be a pleasing and comforting shelter. Reality is growing enough food to escape dependence on supermarkets. Reality is leaving my virtual friends long enough to walk around my immediate neighborhood in search of actual friends…
That’s as far as I got before even writing that seemed like another distraction from better ways to spend my time and energies.
I will note that your ID and that of your friend seem almost satirical take-offs of well-known members here and your message may be a wee bit trollish — as in, give up reading and participating in blogs. I’m not leaving the Pond, nor will I stop commenting or caring about my virtual friends. I’m just not going to devote as much time as I have or care as much about the charade of politics.
Ah yes. It’s the college student again. Remember him?
The “young” Mr. Richards
pete richards
Do you miss ol’ petey? 🙂
Yeah. I have a thing for narscissists.
Poseurs are entertaining on a Sunday morning tho…kinda like the Sunday Funnies.
Peace
My ability to smell trolls has been validated. Petey must be very pleased to see himself on the Recommended List.
Call me crazy, but I am thinking that diarist’s real message is that we need all to need step back and nourish ourselves now and then, that we need to laugh at our problems if we’re ever going to have any success in overcoming them. As you can see from the list in the diary, we have plenty to scream about, but screaming at each other just feels wrong. And like in the movie, throwing ourselves off the roof isn’t going to get the job done.
More than once this week, I was reminded of how my boys pick fights with each other, when really they’re just tired and need some down time. Usually, I just send them to opposite ends of the house until they can get along again. I’m hoping that my friends who have hurt feelings from this week will get a chance to step back, enjoy some time with family or gardening or yoga or a Bass ale, or whatever it is that recharges them, and come back to the pond. Because we’re all in this together, whether we agree on every single little thing or not.
OK — I’m ready to jump with you now.
Usually, I just send them to opposite ends of the house until they can get along again.
Mrs. K.P. used to make our boys sit on the step together until they could agree to get along. Must have worked; they get along great now (17 and 21).
I am feeling very trapped at the moment. I want to pretend first, that none of what you have listed has/is happening. Failing that, I want to pretend I don’t know about it. But I can’t do that either.
I keep thinking how distorted my understanding and expectations are – I am warped from growing up on Disney. Happy endings always happen, don’t they?
From J.R.R. Tolkien, Lord of the Rings, the movie dialogue:
Frodo: I wish none of this had happened.
Gandolf: So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. There are other forces at work in this world Frodo, besides the will of evil.
Even as I despair, I keep coming back here, because you are the people who are just as afraid and worried as I am – caring people. People, here, help me understand even more what is happening (mixed blessings, for sure) and are trying to puzzle out how to counter all that is going on – and you all make me smile and laugh.
And if there was someone who committed suicide after the election – that is too bad, we could use their help!
I am not even going to say, “Take a break for a while.” No such luck, cause I need help understanding what the heck is happening with the NSA hearings: 2 days of hearings and it’s all done?! What happens next? And what can we be doing?
And the Patriot Act: how much time do we have to do something? Are there things we can do besides phone and fax? Sky writing? Singing messages?
Know what? We might lose these too. For sure we will lose if we do nothing.
4+4+4+4+4+4+4+4+4 = a bouquet of 4’s for you and CrabbinGirl.
I’m going to do my taxes, see if I’m getting a refund and plan a vacation to the other side of the planet.
And I woke up this morning to also find that all my friends are still here at BooTrib doing as they always do, fighting on. And so they should continue. And so they will.
uh oh, I knew you’d find your way here. (But I did expect you to work with the satire better. )
My satire detector isn’t functioning well right now. Perhaps a tune up is required. Every 3000 comments or so is best, I’m told.
Oh you more than made up for it with the aliens.
finally ended for him and also judy’s comment, I think I will survive the many Groundhog Day’s ahead by service to others and nourishing myself often, because this has been hard! If only that little weasel knew what an honest hard days work really felt like! I will live my life as I have chosen to and continue embracing my fellowman. I was given a gift and miracle this afternoon. I took my son to visit one of his school friends that he loves. His classmates mother has seemed a little fragile and scared when I have been around her in the past. Over coffee today she seemed to be feeling a little better….single mom…….odd thing in the South. Horrible fundamentalist christian marriage and stuck it out, very abused and still had three beautiful children. I know that many of us saw this wave coming. Today I have a new friend and understood what she had to say, she is a terrific mother and an incredibly courageous person who has tons of my admiration right now. I will continue this road of small service and living my life the only way life really works.
If we give up, the assholes win.
I ain’t gonna give them the satisfaction of reading my obituary…
🙂
They can read mine; in fact I’ll be flattered if they do…
Because if I HAVE an obituary, it means (1) they LOST, and (2) where they are, they have LOTS of time to read…
Well, Militantyurt, I really enjoyed the captions and pics. Good analogy, but sad story. Please remember that this strange world was like this when you got here; do what good you can for it while you’re here; and it will ramble on aimlessly after you’re gone. Humanity’s problems go way back beyond the current batch of crooks.
Nothing new.
P. D. Ouspensky
Ivan Osokin, the outsider, has been crossed in love and thrown out of military school and has lost a fortune. He drags himself to a magician and confesses: ‘I cannot go on.’
After asking to be sent back in time so that he might ‘do everything differently . . . live in a new way’, Osokin finds the past repeating itself: to his dismay he is chained to a wheel of eternal recurrence.
How can he free himself? There is a way, says the magician, but he warns Osokin: ‘Very powerful forces will be opposed to you and you will be alone, always alone. Remember this.’ The young man, however, thirsts for the ‘great secret’. Yet is he prepared to sacrifice his life in order to find it?
This is the only full-length novel, first published in 1947, the year of his death, by P. D. Ouspensky, the Russian thinker and collaborator with Gurdjieff – a haunting fantasy on the theme that we do not live life; rather, life lives us.
Spreadeagled on the wheel of karma, we roll towards our fate.
The rolling IS our fate.
Unless…unless…
Unless just ONCE we actually do something different.
Harder to do than to say.
Trust me.
AG
It has such a profound meaning to me on so many levels. It says that there are opportunities hiding in wait for us, we just have to go out and find them! It says that yes it may seem that we have the same problem over and over but guess what, it is okay that we have the same problem over and over. And we can look for different solutions to that same problem. And we can solve some parts of our problem and we can find different parts of ourselves within the solution.
concerned about the Booman mind state lately. Tension and anxiety have been high. Many of us are long faced. I look upon this community as a very large group of real roots for lots of grass. We all tend to be doers here. In a way I guess reading over my shoulder and talking about the many items here daily have fed my husband and he steps out the door every day knowing that there are sane caring aware Americans that he is serving. He reads your words here and he takes them to work with him often. When people began fighting here last week he was really sad because he says that we have worked so hard to build a base and even though it doesn’t feel like it to us he sees the base that we have built…….this huge common ground of doers empowering each other! Please friends, if you have left because of the infighting and you read this…there is one soldier out there who really wants you all to come on back because we need you.
chalk it up to blog PMS…or actually PNS: Putting up with Neo-Con Shit…
It’s folks like you, DJ, Supersoling, and sooooo many freakin’ others that keep me inspired and going…hell, I just upped my daily workout so I can get into better shape for fighting the assholes! 🙂 Sooooo wish I hadn’t chickened out on flying to DC last year… 🙁
Holding you and yours in my heart this morning… 🙂
A thousand 4s for you for that comment!
Where is Dorothy Parker when we need her?
Great rant. I wish I’d written it. Not that I’m suicidal — self-destructive, now that’s something different, but not suicidal — but let’s just say that I’ve been watching the Olympics the last few days and find myself rooting more and more for the Canadians. Some days I really wish Canada was an option, but as I’ve said before, I still think this country is worth fighting for.
Most days.
Don’t ask me about the others, or what will happen when I no longer feel that way.