After further review and agonizing soul-searching (which explains why I didn’t write a diary yesterday), I have decided that I can no longer support Russ Feingold for President. I am well and truly beaten. I did not realize that a twice-divorced candidate would be such a big liability. I fear that it would be such a great liability that we would be beaten even worse than McGovern and Mondale did.

As much as we might agree with Feingold 100% on the issues, he is simply not electable. People want a candidate who represents America, and they would always go for the man who best represents their ideals. This includes having a traditional family. After all, if a man can’t run his family, then how can he run this country?
So now, let me look at the other candidates. First off, I will try Hillary. After all, she is the front-runner, she would be the first woman president, and you would get her husband as well. Oh, wait. I forgot. She is too hysterical and angry. Rove is looking on her with relish, ready to create his magnum opus by unleashing the dogs of war on her.

Next comes John Kerry. After all, he is a true Patriot who served his country well. Furthermore, he did well by almost unseating a sitting President in wartime. Oh, wait — He rambles and flip-flops. People are too scared of him. He says things in 100 words that he could have said in 10. And he was for certain bills before he was against them. So, while his record of public service is impressive, he will never be able to live beyond that moment.

Then comes Mark Warner. After all, he is a brilliant politician and campaigner who is an excellent consensus builder. Oh, wait. He has no foreign policy experience, which is exactly what we need during these troubled times with the Iraq War. I’d better look for someone else.

Then comes Wes Clark. He is one of the greatest generals of modern times and won the Kosovo War in 78 days without the loss of an American life. Oh, wait — he was once a — gulp — Republican. How are we supposed to know he is not a Republican in Democrat’s clothing?

Then comes Jon Edwards. A man with an inspiring story, he has the charm to take it all. In addition, he addresses problems that none of the other candidates do with his anti-poverty initiatives. Oh, wait — he is a lawyer, and everybody knows that he will just serve as an enabler for those who will file frivilous lawsuits. Even if he didn’t, that is a clear image problem.

I guess that all of these people have achilles heels that simply make them totally unelectable. I guess I will just stay home from the polls on election day.

You see what is wrong with what I was just advocating? People come to me all the time and complain that Russ Feingold is unelectable because he was divorced twice. But the same logic can be used to rule out voting for any other candidate. Therefore, if we are going to use such issues as an excuse not to vote for someone, we might as well not vote at all.

And by the way, that argument is nonsense. Everybody said that about Reagan as well.

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