Every day, more illegal aliens pour across the border. It’s a war, but it’s a war Americans can win. It’s time to stop depending on the government and take things into the hands of real American citizens. The government can’t do it without your help. Nothing worthwhile is easy, but illegal immigration can be stopped if every American will follow these simple steps:
When you eat lunch or dinner in a restaurant, whatever your bill is, do not pay the waitperson. Insist that the manager be called, and give him four times the amount of the bill, so that he will be able to hire Americans.
Do the same thing with everything you buy. Some stores, especially the large chains like Wal-Mart, may hesitate to take the extra money. Ask to see the manager, and if necessary, leave the money on top of the cash register. Then you’ve fulfilled your responsibility to make sure that store has the money to hire real Americans and only deal with other businesses that do the same.
These illegal aliens are coming to the US for one thing: to take American jobs.
It is up to Americans to make sure those jobs are already taken. Let that begin with you. Take a second job. If you work 9 to 5, you can obtain evening employment in a restaurant kitchen. Make sure they understand that you are willing to work for the same wage the illegal aliens are getting. That may be less than the minimum wage, but that’s OK with you. Be willing to forego any benefits, and work overtime as needed. If you work evenings, take a morning job doing construction cleanup, or landscaping. These jobs can be obtained easily by going to convenience or home improvement store parking lots just before dawn. There will be many illegal aliens there, and your presence and willingness to work hard, even if you only receive twenty or thirty dollars for an eight hour shift of physical labor, will ensure that one Mexican will not get a job that day, a job that is your birthright as a real American.
Tell your current boss that you wish your salary decreased by 75% to enable him to hire real Americans to clean the offices and work in the cafeteria, and to send more money to Washington to hire more soldiers to keep out illegal aliens.
If you want to beat these illegals at their own game, you have to use their methods. Now that you have taken a job away from one of them, and done your part to help your own employer hire real Americans and pay your share of the cost of keeping them out, you will be ready to learn more of their secrets and use them to fight and win this war.
If you own a home, sell it, and send the proceeds to the government to pay for increased troops at the border, and to build a wall like Israel’s Peace Fence.
You may wonder, how do these illegal aliens work such long hours for such low pay, no overtime, no benefits, and still manage to send money out of the country to bring in more illegal aliens.
These aliens are sneaky. But you can be just as sneaky. Do as they do and beat them at their own game.
Get together with ten or twelve relatives, neighbors or like-minded people who are also committed to winning the war against illegal immigration, and rent the cheapest one bedroom apartment you can find in your city or town. In most areas, the rent for the apartment will be under $1000. Even if you share with only nine roomates, that means your share of the rent is only $100 or less!
Don’t worry about furniture, you’ll need that space for everyone to have room to sleep. Used blankets can be gotten at a Goodwill or other thrift store for very little money. You’re a soldier on a critical mission, and this is your barracks!
Now you are catching on to their strategy. You can cut expenses even more by not having the electricity connected if you choose an apartment with a gas stove. Or you can cook outdoors, like some wily illegals do, in order to send even MORE American money out of the country. That’s not what you’ll do, though. You will send your extra money straight to Washington, to help build that fence and secure America’s borders.
You and your roomates are in for a shock when you find out just how little money a large sack of beans costs. And depending on which Mexican grocery store you go to, the “masa” for tortillas may cost even less than that! Of course, you can buy already made tortillas, but they will cost more, and the real pros at the illegal alien game know that. As an American you are naturally smart enough to know that every dollar you save can save your country, so you buy the masa and make the tortillas yourself. Don’t worry if after a few weeks, even a few days, you feel even angrier about the problem of illegal immigration when you find out just how far a big pot of beans will go, even shared with nine other people, and the sack is still almost full! And the same goes for the masa. Yes, this is how those illegal aliens do it. Beans and tortillas, every day. That’s one of their key strategies, and now it is one of yours, too.
It may be that your new lifestyle as a soldier in the war against illegal immigration makes it impractical for you to continue in your former job. Don’t worry about that. Those aren’t the jobs the illegals are after. You can be pretty sure that your replacement will be an honest-to-goodness English-speaking American. Now you have eight hours free that you can use to take another job away from another illegal alien!
In the spring and summer months, if you play your cards right, you just might be able to move into the agricultural sector, a hotbed of illegals, and get plenty of time in the fresh air helping with the important work of America’s harvest, a job for Americans if there ever was one, and as you reach for another orange in the bright sunshine of beautiful Florida or crouch with your sack the in the onion fields of south Georgia, whether you get paid or not, what greater reward could a solider in this battle ask for than the knowledge that some Jose or Pedro was told, “sorry, we don’t need any more pickers,” because YOU, a real American, are doing the picking!
If every American will follow these simple steps, illegal immigration can be stopped. Not cut in half, not dressed up in some fancy amnesty program, but STOPPED!
Remember they come for the jobs. If those jobs are already taken by Americans, they won’t come.
So don’t waste time! Start right now! Get that second job at a restaurant, or maybe a warehouse, and talk to your boss. If he refuses to cut your salary by 75% as you ask, then you send the money to Washington yourself. There are 2000 miles of border to be fenced and manned while you recruit other solders for this vital war.
But this is a war Americans can WIN!
crossposted at my pretentious and arrogant blog and Man Eegee’s good and noble one that he calls humble.
This is brilliant!
DF, this is one of your bests!
Beautiful job.
Just awesome. You’ve said it.
a fast food worker, a dish washer, a cook, a maid, a window washer, a house cleaner, a senior care worker, a retail store cashier, a machinist, a survey tally-er, an interviewer, a caterer (in and out, both), a food prep person, a waitress, a salesperson, a tree planter, a social servant, a machinist, a hardware store stocker, a library clerk, a food picker…
and ain’t I an American?
I like this post. I have supported myself since age 17, never inherited a nickel, and have been: a fast food worker, a Union shipyard worker, a carpenter, a delivery driver, an ice cream man, a waiter, a library clerk, many kinds of office and hospital clerks, a temp worker moving boxes for an Indian tribe, a ditch digger. I never worked in agriculture, but my wife picked hops and apples.
So I appreciate everybody who wants to do real work.
Everybody has a God-given natural right to work and travel as they will. The borders should just be opened. Everything else is folly.
You, sir, are absolutely subversive. We can win this war! But, wait. Is that name of yours Mexican or sumthin’? I’ll have to think about your plan reel hard first.
500,000 was the official number on the LA protest. The power of the people can never be defeated. Even the light brownish people, according to this chant, as it does not specify the color of the people who will not be defeated. Can you imagine what the real number was?
On a more serious note, your plan may have some merit if it were to make America a less piggish society. Living simply might save enough of the world’s resources to make some difference, and save us from our current destructive fate. But the Americans I know would probably not be kind to one another in a crowded apartment. We are individualists you see. The whole concept of community has been lost to some, I fear.
Truly outdoing yourself grandfather.
Next week, after GM’s “reengineering the workplace” comes into focus, your post will be a bible for all the $37 an hour guys.Watch how they all snap up the jobs,apartments, beans, flour and Goodwill blankets.
Wouldn’t it be something if the Mexican laborers go back home to find GM following them and setting up assembly lines in Monterey? God does work in mysterious ways.
We don’t have that many illegals to displace here in Hawaii, but I figure every little bit helps. We can win this war! Yeh!
Yep, we can win this war just the same way the world has eliminated prostitution! Yes indeed!
The sad part is that those at FreeRepublic would find this much to their liking. One man’s sarcasm is another man’s business plan. Or something like that.
Yes, this absolutely deserves a 3.
Had to be a slip of the clicker. Happens to the best of us.
there’s only ever been 3s out of that’n, so far as I’ve observed, so I wouldn’t take offense!
I think I might have gotten a “4” out of that’n once, and assumed that was a slip of the clicker.
Just can’t deal with the fact that sometimes you do “B” work?
Not to worry, I think she just usually gives 3’s.
So a 3 from her is like a 4 from the rest of us.
Ahh, but a 4 from you, well, that’s like 5. 😉
Sell your car, and don’t pay your renewal fees for your driver’s license.
Buy a dangerous and polluting older car from a towing company who legally stole it from the previous illegal owner after a routine traffic stop, and use that vehicle to navigate the back roads between your several jobs with some of your co-workers. Be certain to skip buying insurance, since your driver’s license is no longer valid.
These actions will free up some cash for our security.
Note: one big flaw in your plan, DTF, is that once we eliminate the illegals, then the prison guards who will man the detention camps will be out of work, as will many of the employees of the companies who get no-bid contracts to build and run them.
On the flip side, however, once we solve this immigrant problem, we can move onto the next “final solution!” Man, I hate those _______.
Best piece on immigration I’ve seen so far.
Am I not the rollicking and mischievous one?
😉
Well you’re reminding me of Jonathan Swift again . . .
One day when I was in N CA working on a flower farm, I spent four hours on my knees working with an “immigrant” crew making sure the iris bulbs were pointed right side up during the planting process.
At noon I told my supervisor he might want to find something else for me to do for the afternoon. Why, he says. I said if you want to avoid a compensation claim it might be best if I could do something else. (bad knees… too many years doing const.)
He found something else. But the rest of the crew was putting in 8,9,10 hrs a day at that. So when you buy the next bouquet with the blue irises in it, consider how they got to you.
Like DT says, “Have at it Americans! Take back these American jobs!”
other fruit and/or vegetable redolent, free or underground, republican or democratic, sites you wish.
It is said that there may be many willing soldiers in such places, and with Vidalia onion season gearing up just now, not to mention spring landscaping, well…
One thing–If anyone in MI decides to go thru w/this, the apartments in my complex go for $500.00+ a month for a one bedroom, and $600.00+ for a 2 bedroom. Mention me as a resident referal, and I get a $100.00 rent credit!! (This comnplex has a few vacancies!!!!)
Also, Wal-Mart is hiring and so are a lot of the restaurants!
I want to add my sentiments to all the other kudos above. This is a brilliant piece!
I have some success in getting Letters to The Editor published and I’d love to submit one that ehcoes your themes here. I live in South Florida and there are plenty of wingnut ignorati here that would get really discomfitted by something along the lines you’ve so brilliantly written.
Would you mind my doing that? (I could include attribution to you for the original idea if you so desired.)
put forward by this excellent piece of satire, there is within this work, the seeds of the only real and true way to “solve the problem”:
Raise the standard of living, wage, and general welfare of workers in other places, and in the US, to the point where there is no so-called “benefit” to a worker having to travel to another nation to rely on the currency value differential in order to “put food on their family”…
The only real way to actually “fix” the situation is union, union, union – cross-border, international, large-scale union militancy that results in equalization of wages, protections, standards of living, social safety nets, and etc…
But then, that would require a revolution…not that I’d complain too much about that.
yes. 😉
to go all “Wobblie” and start chanting “OBU!OBU!” but that would be redundant, right?
Then again, the time is damned ripe, and getting over-ripe for just such a movement to be resurrected…
Revolution is coming and a lot sooner than people think.
This is just goofy. The economics are wrong, the political understanding is backwards, and the moral issue is turned into snide foolishness.
There is a thoughful and interesting diary on this topic, one which ties together the various levels of economic, political, and moral.
Read this:
http://www.boomantribune.com/?op=displaystory;sid=2006/3/26/16282/5314
Immigration is not about having people in different areas hate each other. You seem to think everything is about individual American hate and greed. Immigration is about the structure of the corporate environment, and who profits and who does not. Frankly, it is not the average guy eating his salad that makes the big profit.
Agricultural worker immigration is about supporting vast agri-business, not about supporting affordable foodstuff. There is no basis for believing our food would be 4x as expensive. And keeping immigrant labor illegal is critical to keep argi-business working. Were the people coming over the border to populate small farms in the midwest and west, saving dying communities, then the argi-corps would be in there fighting for tighter borders.
We could, instead, end up with many many farmers making less-than-perfectly-beautiful organic foodstuff. The organic producers and local producers can certainly produce at competitive prices because of the lack of cost for pesticides and genetic patents. But they don’t have distribution scale and efficiency. And most importantly, they do not have vast corporate subsidies, including the implicit subsidy of forcing their employees to keep an illegal status.