It has proven impossible for me to continue to hate “Christianity”, as I did for so many years.
It took a long time for me to understand that it wasn’t the religion of Christianity itself that kept me imprisoned for the first 40 years of my life, it was the interpretation of it, by the men who had declared themselves “Ministers of God”: the ones who created and ran the “CHURCH.”
THE CHURCH (meaning, for the rest of this essay, the Church of Fundamentalist Christianity) ruled the world I grew up in. THE CHURCH dictated my role in life, before I could even sit up. The CHURCH dictated all the societal norms and boundaries for all of us. CHURCH MEN were the ONLY ones allowed to interpret the Bible and tell us about the Word of God.
If you had a problem back then, you didn’t go to a therapist or call a hot line, you went to THE CHURCH for council. And you did not question God’s Minister, when he told you the incest going on at home was your own fault. You just went home as instructed, and prayed harder to be able to stop acting in seductive ways.
THE CHURCH taught me of my terrible sinful nature, and of the need to fear God above all else. THE CHURCH told me He could see all, hear all, and would strike me dead if I sinned, and I was awfully unhappy when they said yes, indeed, He could even see through the grand piano I hid under in order to feel safe, when I’d been a very bad girl.
If this doesn’t fit the description of religious terrorism, I don’t know what does.
Many, many, years later, I discovered that this was not “Christianity,” itself. Not as I see it practiced today, by my daughters, and by so many wonderful people I have come to know and love.
No, this was THE CHURCH. It was an “organization”: a structure created of, by and for the men who built it. Men who carefully studied the Old and New Testaments, and chose the parts that gave them all the power, which they made into “The Gospel” we all must follow, if we wanted to not burn in hell.
Helluva deal for them, no doubt about it. They got wives well trained to love, honor AND obey, women to clean and take care of their precious churches, women to care for the sick, to bear and raise their babies, tend to godly charities, all of this and more. All willingly delivered, of course, with a sweet, selfless smile.
Yeah. Pretty sweet deal for them.
But this was THE CHURCH.
It wasn’t the whole of Christianity.
It was THE CHURCH.
It was the Native Americans who showed me the difference between THE CHURCH of my past, and Christianity, in the old stories told over and over about a strange white man who roamed the earth once, appearing then disappearing, leaving behind good things like love, tolerance, acceptance and hope. They said he came from the Creator, to teach about love, and love was what he left behind. The stories made me cry, I so needed something I could believe in.
I had to leave THE CHURCH in order to survive. To this day, I can only attend the wonderful, open, affirming and welcoming Christian Church my daughters attend for special occasions of theirs, and can only stay a short while. I cannot call myself a Christian either, because I just can’t stuff all of what I believe into any one religious container of any known brand. They all want to tell me one way or another, what to believe and not believe.
The CHURCH of my past wasn’t a religion at all: it was a man made, hierarchal institution. It was created by men, it was run by men, and personally, I have not one shred of a reason to trust any such organization. Not one. Not in business, not in government, and certainly not in matters of “faith”
This proof that this mistrust is justified is unfolding all around me again, right before my eyes, as I see THE CHURCH rising to power again, infiltrating all levels of our government, eating away at the understructure of the Constitution, and mutilating the political process and the law in order to once again assume the power to control society, just as it did back in my day.
This is not “Christianity” These are not Christian men. This is THE CHURCH. This is the powerful man-made structure designed to exploit and pervert Christianity. It is the pack on the prowl once again.
Your particular church may not be a part of this pack. If this is so, I am so glad for you, I honestly am. Even though I cannot join you, I am genuinely grateful for all of you and the way you live your faith, as that roaming soul of long ago wanted us to. It is not your church I hate.
The CHURCH I hate and fear above all else, is the one that I see on my TV screen today, in living color and surround sound. It is my worst nightmare come back to life.
I know how easy it is to dismiss the words of those who lived in times one may never have lived in themselves. I did the same thing to those who came before me. It is so hard to accept a danger as urgent, when one has never met it face to face, especially one as insidious and subtle as this one is, so long in the making behind the scenes.
I also know the tendency to believe “It could never happen here not to me. Not to mine.”
The real danger in this is that THE CHURCH knows this too, and is playing that card for all it’s worth. It knows there are genuine Christian churches everywhere now, who do not embrace their extremist dogma and they know these good Christians will rise up to defend their faith when they believe it is being attacked by those who are Fighting `THE CHURCH. In fact, they bank on it.
It as a major weapon in their arsenal, called “divide and conquer”, and all too many are falling for it, hook, line and sinker. Thus, even though genuine Christians and Non-Christians are on exactly the same side of this whole issue, guess what? We go to war with each other, leaving the field clear for THE CHURCH to march on.
So you really think your faith will protect you from being controlled by THE CHURCH, if they are allowed to assume control of our government and our laws? Because it won’t.
Your bedroom will be invaded just as those of non believers. Your gay kids will be harassed and beaten just like ours will. Your pregnant daughter could as easily die of a back ally abortion as ours, and if your fortunes turn and you need a free meal or a blanket, you will have to swallow their dogma alone with your soup, too.
We need to ALL wake the hell UP, good Christians as well as non Christians and STOP allowing ourselves to be manipulated into battling each other. We’re playing right into their hands, and I cannot understand why the hell can’t more of us SEE this and JUST STOP IT?! Why can’t we all climb out of our self involvement with defending our own faiths, or lack there of, far enough to understand this?
There is a clearly defined common enemy to fight here. It is the powerful RIGHT WING OF THE CHURCH, created by power mad, fundamentalist pseudo-Christian men.
Christianity is not THE PROBLEM.
Atheism and secularism are NOT THE PROBEM.
(That is what “they” want us to believe, fer keeeerists sake! )
The RIGHT WING FUNAMENDALIST CHURCH STRUCTURE, AND THOSE WHO RUN IT, are the FREAKING PROBLEM!!!
Swell. Now I’ve yelled myself into a headache.
Time to go for a walk and look for tree buds.
Catch up with you later!
