Thursday News Bucket

Posted by CabinGirl | Apr 13, 2006 | 36 |

Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh.
– W. H. Auden

Got any funny news?

Thanks to Knox for doing yesterday’s news bucket!

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CabinGirl

36 Comments

CabinGirl on April 13, 2006 at 7:25 am

Brought to you by Ford Motor Company: AFP/Yahoo

A core group of US consumers will continue to buy large sports utility vehicles (SUVs) even if gasoline prices rise to four dollars a gallon and stay that way, a senior executive at the Ford Motor Company said.

“There is a certain portion of the marketplace and customers who want that flexibility that is provided with a traditional SUV,” Mark Fields, president of the automaker’s Americas division, said during a conference with analysts.

“So I don’t think our strategy would change too much.”

With an idiot like that at the helm, it’s no wonder American carmakers are in trouble.
- Second Nature on April 13, 2006 at 8:17 am
  
  Has anyone else seen that offensive commercial that starts out with the mother driving her two sad-looking children to school, with touching music playing in the background, and it’s clear that one of the kids is afraid to go to school because he’s an outcast or something. Then they pull up at school and you see that they’re driving a huge-ass black Hummer and all of the kids are jealous of it. What a happy ending!
  
  If your kids aren’t fitting in, just slap everyone in the face with the knowledge that you can afford a 70K car. Touching. <wipes away tear trickling down cheek>
  - CabinGirl on April 13, 2006 at 8:25 am
    
    I haven’t seen it, but gag me! “Drive a gas-hog peckerwagon, and everyone will think you’re cool! Get mom and dad to buy one for you, kids!”
    - Second Nature on April 13, 2006 at 8:27 am
      
      Ooh, peckerwagon. I think those would make excellent little stickies to go tagging with! Thanks CG.
  - Nag on April 13, 2006 at 9:12 am
    
    Yeah, I’ve seen it and it’s pretty bald faced in its shitty little message… like all hummer commercials. And they wonder why teenagers beat homeless people to death with baseball bats.
    
    How about the Ford commercials where the dipshit head of the company gets folksy about how Ford is doing soooo much for the future… EXCEPT for the part where they have to lay off tens of thousands of people to pay for Ford’s mistakes. They all laughed at Toyota for pushing hybrids and now they’re all pissing themselves to get their own hybrids. Dumb bastards.
    
    I’m in pain today so you’ll have to excuse the bitching. 😉
    - Nag on April 13, 2006 at 9:13 am
      
      oooo. I just found a gnat in my coffee, so things could always get worse!
- Knoxville Progressive on April 13, 2006 at 10:18 am
  
  You call those folks “idiots.” George Bush calls them “his base.” ;-D
- Bearpaw on April 13, 2006 at 3:43 pm
  
  While you can afford gas, you can use it for transportation. After peak oil, you can use it to live in … better than a cardboard box!
  - CabinGirl on April 13, 2006 at 6:56 pm
    
    Good point.
CabinGirl on April 13, 2006 at 7:27 am

In Pennsylvania: Evening Bulletin

In the course of a one-minute speech delivered recently at the Abington Township Rockledge Boro Republican Organization Annual Dinner this past Friday, Renee Amoore, co-chair of the state GOP committee, stated:
“…Regarding Santorum, I know some of you may want to just hold your noses, but please vote for him anyway!”
Shouldn’t the Montgomery County Republican Committee be united in the most important election of 2006?

Too bad we could easily insert the words Bobby Casey into the same sentence…
- Knoxville Progressive on April 13, 2006 at 10:33 am
  
  “I know some of you may want to just hold your noses, but please vote for him anyway!”
  
  I thought our side held the patent on that sentiment, over at Big Orange, LOL.
  
  Food for thought:
  
  If all of us on both sides of the aisle just quit holding our noses for the sake of the candidates of the two wings of the PermaGov and voted our consciouses, DC might be a very different place…
  
  …One with folks attacking each other with clubs?
CabinGirl on April 13, 2006 at 7:30 am

Of UCSC: SF Chronicle

Four military recruiters hastily fled a job fair Tuesday morning at UC Santa Cruz after a raucous crowd of student protesters blocked an entrance to the building where the Army and National Guard had set up information tables.

Members of Students Against War, who organized the counter-recruiting protest, loudly chanted “Don’t come back. Don’t come back” as the recruiters left the hilltop campus, escorted by several university police officers…

…The student organization has become a bit of a cause celebre of the national anti-war movement ever since it was discovered that the group’s protest of the same job fair last April landed it in a Pentagon surveillance file, which listed the protest as a “credible threat” to military facilities or personnel.

So that’s a credible threat? Hmm…if that’s all it takes to get listed as a threat, how many of us are on the list? (Please don’t answer that question until after I’ve had some coffee…)
- Alice on April 13, 2006 at 7:54 am
  
  Thanks for this one, Cabin – my heart soars like an eagle.
  
  I can’t help seeing the peace movement as being composed of a bunch of aging hippies like me making a fuss. But young people taking action against war is such a thrilling inspiration. There is indeed hope.
  - CabinGirl on April 13, 2006 at 8:12 am
    
    It is nice to see that some younger people are paying attention and doing something.
Nancy LeTourneau on April 13, 2006 at 9:05 am
Sorry I don’t have a link or a quote, but I wanted to write about a commentary I heard on NPR while driving home yesterday. The person was talking about what would happen in Iran AFTER we bombed or attacked in terms of the goal of stopping their quest for nuclear weapons. Thats not something I’ve heard many people talking about. He basically laid out two possible scenarios:
1. We bomb and cannot get all of the nuclear facilities. This just hardens the Iranians and they continue their hunt for nuclear weapons with more vengance.
2. We invade Iran and overthrow the government and wind up with another Iraq on our hands. He noted that this option was not realistic because of our current commitments in Iraq and Afganistan.
I know that the thought of attacking Iran is really unthinkable to most of us – so I haven’t heard many discuss the practical efficacy of it all. But this was enlightening to hear.
- CabinGirl on April 13, 2006 at 9:15 am
  
  It’s good to hear that people are speaking up about the folly of attacking Iran. I think the concern that BushCo actually fully intends to carry out an attack on Iran is driving all the recent stories exposing the lies of the administration, like the “mobile weapons lab” truck bullshit.
  
  I hope the people who are coming forward now are successful in stopping them, but sometimes I’m not sure anything CAN stop these lunatics.
boran2 on April 13, 2006 at 9:15 am

Stormy weather.

Link

Insurance Risk Models Rise With Elevated Storm Frequency, Severity

NEWARK, California, April 13, 2006 (ENS) – Last year’s increases in hurricane landfall frequency and intensity have prompted the trend-setting company Risk Management Solutions (RMS) to increase modeled annualized insurance losses compared to those derived using long-term 1900-2005 historical average hurricane frequencies.

The insurance loss estimates will rise by 40 percent on average across the Gulf Coast, Florida and the Southeast, and by 25 to 30 percent in the Mid-Atlantic and Northeast coastal regions, the company says.

When compared with a pre-2004 historical baseline, as has been previously employed for quantifying insurance risk, the increases in modeled annualized losses are closer to 50 percent in the Gulf, Florida, and the Southeast, RMS said.

What this means for insurance customers is higher rates for the types of insurance affected by hurricanes, storms, and storm surges.
- CabinGirl on April 13, 2006 at 9:25 am
  
  What this really means is that even those of who live nowhere near the Gulf Coast will be paying higher premiums as a result. Heaven forbid the insurance company profits ever go down as a result of paying claims…
Nag on April 13, 2006 at 9:32 am

OK, I wasn’t really into this, so blame Cabin Girl for today’s theme.

link

Odd pair charged with robbing Pink Pony stripper

DAYTONA BEACH — When a giant named “Big Country,” a short teenager who goes by “Peanut” and a stripper who dances to the name of “Sweet Pea” took the peep show after hours, it was a recipe for trouble.

What was supposed to be an evening of private dancing and sex turned into a long ride through back roads and armed robbery, according to a sheriff’s report.

Tuesday night, Volusia County sheriff’s investigators arrested 25-year-old Jimmie Messer, a 7-foot, 460-pounder known as “Big Country” and his 5 foot 5, 16-year-old sidekick, Andres Hopwood, aka “Peanut.”

The tall and short of it: The Orlando pair were charged with robbing an 18-year-old, 180-pound stripper — Sweet Pea — at gunpoint.

Seems as if Sweet Pea was having none of it, said a quick prayer for herself and kicked Peanut right in the groin. She then bolted into a stand of weeds at the side of the road before making her way to a nearby house. Well, Big Country and Peanut were arrested for attempted robbery, Sweet Pea got her exotic dancer’s clothes back, and the equilibrium of the universe has been restored to Daytona Beach.

Now I feel so cheap! 😉
- Bearpaw on April 13, 2006 at 3:46 pm
  
  It sounds like a Carl Hiaasen novel!
rba on April 13, 2006 at 9:35 am

I don’t care who ya are, this is funny:

Judge Blasts. . :

Graham & Martin sued 170 apartment building owners around California and the Rental Housing Industry trade association for failure to warn of the danger of cigarette smoking by tenants anywhere in the building and parking lots where auto exhaust might expose tenants to carcinogens. But the ultimate global settlement included a promise to post a generic warning on buildings and a laundry list of potential sources of cancer provided on a Web site, including furniture, paint, construction materials, cleaning supplies, swimming pool chemicals, pest control and landscaping.

[edit]

“If all the notice conveys is that — well, it’s a building with paint, furniture and a parking lot — or if the notice is so much shot-gun boilerplate covering every carcinogenic molecule currently known — then meaningful review [by the attorney general] is impossible,” Sills said.

Noted: CA’s Prop 65 carcinogenic chemical list is now over 600. If the air, water, and sun are bad for ya, guess we need to move to another planet. Lessee, Planet D.C. is out . . . .
- Bearpaw on April 13, 2006 at 3:49 pm
  
  What’s so funny about possibly being exposed to hundreds of carcinogens?
Nag on April 13, 2006 at 9:47 am

link

Drilling the Wild

Rod and gun in hand, and backing the Second Amendment right to own firearms, President George W. Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney have won the hearts of America’s sportsmen. Yet the two men have failed to protect outdoor sports on the nation’s public lands. With deep ties to the oil and gas industry, Bush and Cheney have unleashed a national energy plan that has begun to destroy hunting and fishing on millions of federal acres throughout the West, setting back effective wildlife management for decades to come.

Oh Yeah, this honeymoon’s over.
Knoxville Progressive on April 13, 2006 at 10:13 am

New age (as opposed to “New Age”?) measurements of lunar rocks returned by the Apollo space missions have revealed that a surprising number of the rocks show signs of melting about 3.9 billion years ago, suggesting that the moon – and its nearby neighbor Earth – were bombarded by a series of large meteorites at that time. Right around the time life began on earth – or was carried to here?

An organic light-emitting diode (OLED) that emits a brilliant white light when attached to an electricity supply has been developed. The material, described in the journal Nature, can be printed in wafer thin sheets that could transform walls, ceilings or even furniture into lights. The OLEDs do not heat up like today’s light bulbs and so are 75% more energy efficient and should last 20 times longer.

Patients that suffer severe asthma attacks may recover more quickly with the help of certain antibiotics, a new study suggests. It indicates that the antibiotics may have a beneficial anti-inflammatory effect on the airways of sufferers. However, experts caution that further research is necessary before doctors begin prescribing these drugs to asthma patients.

New images from NASA’s Spirit rover show coarse-grained layers from around the edge of a low plateau called Home Plate inside Gusev Crater on Mars. One possible origin for the material is that it fell to the ground after being thrown aloft by an explosion such as a volcanic eruption or meteorite impact.

Just in from the Carole “I Feel the Earth Move Under My Feet” King Institute of Seismology:

Tremors within the Earth are usually–but not always–related to the activity of a volcano. Now, such vibrations have been recorded nowhere near a volcano, but at a geologic observatory at the San Andreas Fault in Parkfield, CA. [How’s that for an attention-grabbing headline?] And while we’re on the subject: The three major tectonic plates off the Pacific Northwest coast are undergoing a gradual shift, and the area in which they converge – popularly known as the “Triple Junction” – appears to be migrating in a southeasterly direction. And geologists are again expressing concern about earthquake preparedness near the New Madrid fault in the Midwest, where Missouri, Kentucky, Arkansas, and Tennessee meet.

A study of bluebird behavior suggest that by their behavior, animals may play more active roles in their own natural selection than traditional models of evolution would support.

The BBC reports that the number of people with medical problems linked to the 9/11 attacks on New York has risen to at least 15,000.

You knew I wouldn’t let you get away without a global warming story: The new Conservative government in Canada has decided to slash spending on programs designed to fight global warming. To our Canadian neighbours: Welcome to the asylum! “Stroll around the grounds until you feel at home…”

Haaretz reports that “in a few Passovers, there will be nothing left of the Dead Sea:” The Dead Sea, the lowest place in the world, has been drying up swiftly in the recent decades – every year the water level goes down by an average of 1.2 meters. (This one isn’t global warming related, but rather mainly due to withdrawals of water from the Jordan River before it reaches the Dead Sea.)

Some good news: A new technology can reduce mercury emissions at coal-fired power plants at higher rates and lower costs than current methods. And, it can simultaneously reduce other pollutants. And for those who prefer cleaner power, amid soaring electricity prices, the renewable energy industry is increasingly being driven by families who choose to be off the grid for environmental or political reasons.

Takin’ it to the Streets (yet again): About 200 Chinese villagers, angry over pollution of their water supply, attacked three factories and a sewage treatment plant, a Hong Kong newspaper said on Wednesday. (Reuters reports that) the villagers in the eastern province of Fujian, some armed with iron bars, smashed windows and appliances on Saturday at the sewage plant, two leather factories and a South Korean-invested plastics factory, the South China Morning Post said. (Just reporting the news, folks – Let me make clear to The Watchers that no one here at Booman Tribune endorses environmental terrorism…)
- idredit on April 13, 2006 at 10:57 am
  
  Re post on antibiotics
  
  Refusal to fill prescriptions continues, this time its antibiotics and vitamins.
  
  Thinkprogress provides the link -“pharmacists refusing to fill prescriptions for vitamins and antibiotics because they are issued from a women’s health clinics that performs abortions
  
  Re post on 200 Chinese villagers, angry over pollution of their water supply,
  
  I suggest water wars are coming and we’ll do the same.
  
  Take some time to read, “Water as Commodity and Weapon”
  
  Globalisation and Water wars in under-developed countries – taking from the poor flowing to the rich, privatising water for the multinatrionals in what will be a multi- trillion dollar industry.
  - CabinGirl on April 13, 2006 at 11:01 am
    
    Re antibiotic refusal: How long do you think it will be until these folks start refusing to fill prescriptions for HIV medications? I’m honestly surprised it hasn’t been reported yet.
- CabinGirl on April 13, 2006 at 10:58 am
  
  Those OLEDs sound really cool…Can you imagine the fun of lighting, say a nightclub or restaurant with that stuff, if it works the way they say it will, with colors and all?
boran2 on April 13, 2006 at 10:22 am

You want fries with that?

Link

Study: Fast-Food Fries Are Fattier in U.S.

The great virtue — or perhaps the great drawback — of McDonald’s and KFC is that the food is pretty much the same all over the world. But a new study suggests the fries and the chicken served in the United States may have more artery-clogging trans fats.

The chief reason, the researchers say, is the type of frying oil used: partially hydrogenated vegetable oil, which is high in trans fats.

A Danish study of the fast-food chains’ products around the world found remarkably wide variations in trans fat content from country to country, from city to city within the same nation, and from restaurant to restaurant in the same city.

At a New York City McDonald’s, a large fries-and-chicken-nuggets combo was found to contain 10.2 grams of the trans fat, compared with 0.33 grams in Denmark and about 3 grams in Spain, Russia and the Czech Republic.

At KFCs in Poland and Hungary, a large hot wings-and-fries order had 19 grams of trans fats or more, versus 5.5 grams for wings and fried potato wedges in New York. But in Germany, Russia, Denmark and Aberdeen, Scotland, the same meal had less than a gram.
BrendaStewart on April 13, 2006 at 12:20 pm
From the mouth of the most loves man ever….he just makes common sense worth it. From Wednesday’s Juan Cole…………………………………

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Top Reasons You Wouldn’t Want a Mobile Biological Weapons Lab

Not only did Bush and Cheney and Libby tell bare-faced lies about the alleged “mobile biological weapons labs” in Iraq, the idea of such never made any sense anyway.
1. How could you have a clean room in a mobile biological weapons laboratory?
2. Petrie dishes might vibrate off the table.
3. Germs might get carsick. Now that’s something you don’t want to have to clean up.
4. Biologists keep pulling up at the drive-through at McDonald’s.
5. What if you hit a big bump while working on the plague?
posted by Juan @ 4/12/2006 11:12:00 PM 12 comments
BrendaStewart on April 13, 2006 at 12:30 pm

It just keeps getting beter and better in the land of reality for the bushies….listen to this one will you!!!!!!! I hurt from laughing my tush off here…Now don’t fall out of your chair…Promise!!

from firedoglake
- CabinGirl on April 13, 2006 at 1:14 pm
  
  We really do all live in Crazy Town…
Knoxville Progressive on April 13, 2006 at 1:07 pm

I guess she was just concerned about separation of Church and State:

State Board of Education member Connie Morris took exception Wednesday to a picture of a made-up creature that satirizes the state’s new science standards hanging on a Wichita middle school teacher’s door.

Fellow board member Sue Gamble of Shawnee told The Wichita Eagle that Morris asked for the picture to be removed.

[snip]

Gamble learned that Morris had asked the principal to take it down.

The monster’s picture has hung on the door since September or October and was put up there as a joke, [science teacher Randy] Mousley said.

“It’s a parody,” he said. “It’s just making fun of anti-evolution.”

Mousley said he doesn’t teach students about the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

[snip]

Gamble said she told the principal that it was his decision whether the monster could stick around.

“I advised the principal that Morris has no authority,” she said. “I told him to deal with his staff as he saw fit, not by what a state board member says.”

Board chairman Steve Abrams, who voted for the new standards, didn’t see the picture but said he thinks that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is silly.

“Personally, I think it’s juvenile,” he said.

The picture was still on the door at the end of the school day Wednesday.

Full story here, in all its noodly goodness
- CabinGirl on April 13, 2006 at 1:11 pm
- olivia on April 13, 2006 at 1:26 pm
  
  All hail the FSM. May we be touched by his noodly appendage.
Knoxville Progressive on April 13, 2006 at 1:16 pm

McCain NH Road Show Gets Mixed Reviews:

When Jean Diamond asked Sen. John McCain a polite but tough question about federal spending last weekend, McCain turned churlish.

“I’m not getting anything I really need and my grandchildren are getting saddled with $9 trillion in debt,” said Diamond, a Keene retiree. “Why should I vote Republican?”

Because, McCain replied, Democrats have also voted to increase federal spending.

“Maybe,” the Arizona Republican suggested, “you should vote for the vegetarians.”

[Or the Pastafarians? – K.P.]

Diamond was not amused by McCain’s sarcasm. “Republicans are in charge of three Houses,” she snapped back. “You have no excuse.”

McCain shook his head. “Yes, ma’am,” he said, peering at the 500 people gathered at the town meeting. “I knew we should have cut this thing off.”

Full story here
- Second Nature on April 13, 2006 at 1:32 pm
  
  What a testy dick.

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